Per wiki policy, Spoilers Off applies here and all spoilers are unmarked. You Have Been Warned.
I believe he said he has to go pee.
Funny Moments in Forrest Gump.
- Forrest's elementary school principal, while certainly a huge sleazeball for taking sexual advantage of Forrest's mother in exchange for allowing Forrest to go to school, has some of the funniest over-the-top sex moans you'll ever hear. They're so loud that Forrest can hear them outside the house, which leads to this priceless exchange later as the principal exits the house that arguably counts as the most brilliant, hilarious unintentional comeback in cinematic history:Principal: You don't say much, do you?
Forrest: (silently stares at him a few seconds) Eee! Eee! Eee, eee, eee, eee, eee, eee, eee!
(Principal turns and hurriedly walks away) - Plus the implication that Mrs. Gump is quite the talented lover when the principal leaves the house looking like his world has been thoroughly rocked:Principal: "Boy, your Momma sure does care about your schooling. Mmm, hmmm, mmm!"
- There's some Black Comedy to be had with Forrest's Innocent Inaccurate trait, starting from his summation of Jenny's father.
- Forrest's summation of George Wallace being shot while pursuing the Democratic nomination in the 1972 election.The man in the schoolhouse door thought it would be a good idea if he ran for president. [Wallace is shot by Arthur Bremer] But somebody thought it wasn't.
- When somebody at Wallace's Stand in the Schoolhouse Door refers to the black students trying to register as "coons", Forrest thinks he's talking about raccoons and says they should just get a broom.
- Forrest's only problem with playing college football is he never knows when to stop running. When we see him play, he not only carries the ball almost effortlessly to the goalline, but bulldozes the marching band and runs clean out of the stadium.College was very confusing times.
- Which leads to how Forrest finally figures out when to stop running; the entire stadium holds up signs and shouts "STOP!!"
- During his first on-screen game, he gets distracted by his coach and starts running towards him. That first change in direction causes a collision between two of his opponents. When he's told to start running in the right direction again, that second change in direction causes his pursuers to fall in a heap.
- Forrest narrates Jenny's naked stage performance scene in a mesmerized tone, heavily implying that he got a boner at the time. That's some great work by Tom Hanks.
- He's also in awe that Jenny was living her dream; never mind she's performing just about naked in a bar.
- While Forrest's football team is at the White House to meet President John F. Kennedy, Forrest drinks fifteen bottles of Dr Pepper. Pictured above, when the time comes to shake the President's hand...
- "They sending me to Vietnam. It's this whole other country."
- Forrest in Boot Camp:Drill Sergeant: GUUUMP! WHAT'S YOUR SOLE PURPOSE IN THIS ARMY?
Gump: To do whatever you tell me, Drill Sergeant?
Drill Sergeant: GODDAMMIT, GUMP! YOU'RE A GODDAMN GENIUS! THAT'S THE MOST OUTSTANDING ANSWER I'VE EVER HEARD! YOU MUST HAVE A GODDAMN I.Q. OF 160! YOU ARE GODDAMNED GIFTED, PRIVATE GUMP!- And when Forrest finishes assembling and stripping his M14 in record time:Gump: DONE, DRILL SERGEANT!
Drill Sergeant: GUUUUUUMP! WHY DID YOU PUT THAT WEAPON TOGETHER SO QUICKLY, GUMP?
Gump: You told me to, Drill Sergeant?
Drill Sergeant: JESUS H. CHRIST! This is a new company record! If it wouldn't be a waste of such DAMN fine enlisted men, I'd recommend you for OCS, Private Gump! YOU ARE GONNA BE A GENERAL SOMEDAY, GUMP! NOW, DISASSEMBLE YOUR WEAPON AND CONTINUE! - The above is hilarious simply cause of the fact that the drill sergeant yells Forrest's name from across the room and the beat of silence is him apparently crossing over to his position. The timing and the yell across the room is what makes it so funny.
- Bubba's ludicrously long list of dishes you can make with shrimp. It's so long that he's still saying it when he and Forrest are scrubbing the floor with toothbrushes hours later.
- And then Bubba abruptly stops with "And that's about it, really." You get the impression that no one has ever listened to Bubba talk about shrimp long enough for him to run out of shrimp dishes to name, and now that he's finally covered them all he seems to be having an existential crisis.
- Even better is the fact that Forrest was actually listening during all of it, briefly raising his head with a surprised look when Bubba finally runs of shrimp dishes.
- Bonus points for the consideration that Bubba going on and on like this and Forrest listening along, thus distracting him from their duties, is the probable reason they're stuck scrubbing floors like this in the first place.
- And when Forrest finishes assembling and stripping his M14 in record time:
- Lt. Dan thinking Forrest and Bubba are from Arkansas moments after they tell him they're from Alabama.
- Right before that:Lt. Dan: Where're you boys from in the world?
Forrest and Bubba: (simultaneously) Alabama, sir!
Lt. Dan: (jokingly) ...You twins?
(Beat, Bubba and Forrest look at each other)
Forrest: ...No, we are not relations, sir. note
- Right before that:
- Lt. Dan, a platoon commander, explaining to two of the soldiers under his command that he is destined to die in battle can be pretty funny if you think about it, given that such a statement is probably a spectacular example of how a commander can demoralize the troops he would presumably be leading when he expects to die on the battlefield. It also briefly showcases how his father, grandfather and great-grandfather all have fallen in battle of wars past as each man sports the same hammy dead-eyed, open-mouthed look every time they've expired.
- Lt. Dan warning Bubba to tuck in his protruding lower lip, else it get caught in a tripwire.
- On being shot in the butTOCKS:They said it was a million dollar wound, but the army must keep that money 'cause I still haven't seen a nickel of that million dollars.
- Forrest actually showing the wound on his behind to LBJ on national television. LBJ's reaction is even better:LBJ: (laughing) God damn, son.
- Pay attention, he actually mulls it over before going through with it. One YouTube comment summed it up as Forrest trying to reconcile his manners with what he saw as a direct order from his commander-in-chief.
- Could be Truth in Television. Johnson had an infamously crass sense of humor, so odds are he probably would've really found that hilarious.
- Infamously doesn't begin to describe it - LBJ once took out his penis (named "Jumbo") and waved it around in front of the White House press corps. With that in mind, it would make a lot of sense for him to be amused by Forrest mooning the entire country on TV.
- Forrest actually showing the wound on his behind to LBJ on national television. LBJ's reaction is even better:
- Forrest being lectured by a Black Panther, who he ignores because he's too busy looking at Jenny.
- "Sorry I had a fight in the middle of your Black Panther party."
- As Jenny boards the bus, she gives Forrest a warm smile, which Forrest returns. Then she boards, and her abusive hippy friend is about to board and looks over at Forrest, who immediately turns his smile into a funny Death Glare.
- When the US ping pong team met with Richard Nixon at the White House, he personally inquired as to what hotel Forrest was staying in, and then got him a room at a better one. One smash cut later, Forrest is calling the hotel manager late at night, recommending that a maintenance man be sent to the office "across the way", since some men are in there working by flashlight. A zoom in on the table near Forrest as he hangs up reveals that Nixon recommended the Watergate hotel.
- When Forrest meets the president for the third time in his life, he sounds kind of irritated with the whole thing when he recounts it!"And then I went to the White House, again, and shook hands with the president, again.
- Dan talking to Forrest about religion:Dan: Have you found Jesus yet, Gump?
Forrest: I didn't know we were supposed to be looking for him, sir. - This gem of an exchange halfway through the film:Forrest: Lt. Dan! What're you doin' here?
Lt. Dan: Well, I thought I'd try out my sea legs.
Forrest: But you ain't got no legs, Lt. Dan.
Lt. Dan: ...Yes, I know that.- And shortly after that, since Forrest had whimsically jumped off his moving boat.[rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr-CRASH]
Forrest: [beat] That's my boat...
- And shortly after that, since Forrest had whimsically jumped off his moving boat.
- When the shrimping business isn't going too well, Lt. Dan sarcastically suggests Forrest pray for shrimp. One Gilligan Cut later, Forrest is standing in an (all-black) gospel choir, looking as awkward and out-of-place as a pineapple in a tomato patch.
- "Lt. Dan would come sometimes too, but... I think he left all the prayin' up to me." Said while we see Dan sitting in the aisle beside a pew and downing booze from a hip flask.
- Admit it, you wanted to laugh, too, when Lt. Dan is practically challenging God to strike down their shrimp boat during the hurricane.Lt. Dan: You. Will. NEVER. Sink. This. BOAT!!! MAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!
Lt. Dan: YOU CALL THIS A STORM?! - When Forrest tells the two people who were listening to his story about him being the owner of Bubba-Gump Shrimp, the old gentleman laughs it off and walks away, not believing he was sitting next to a millionaire. When the sweet old lady decides to play along, Forrest offers to show her a picture of Lt. Dan, and when she did see the picture (them on the cover of Fortune magazine), she gives off this incredulous look. Whether she is displeased at how Dan looks or Forrest proved who he is, is up for debate.
- Forrest then tells how after he became a college football star, a war hero, a shrimp boat captain, and a college graduate, the city council of Greenbow offered him "a fine job". Cut to Forrest cutting the grass on the high school's football field with a lawnmower.
- After Dan buys some well-timed stock in Apple Computers, Forrest describes it as "some kind of fruit company."Forrest: After awhile Lt. Dan said we didn't have to worry about money anymore. So I said "That's good!" (nods to the lady listening to his story) "...One less thing!"
- Bubba's mom getting a check from Forrest's shrimp company profits, and fainting after seeing what is likely a lot of zeroes. Then in her next scene, she is being served by a white cook and judging by her house and clothes is quite wealthy.Forrest: And ya know what? She didn't have to work in no one's kitchen no more.
