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Funny / Five Nights at Fuckboy's

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Your life ends 5 motherfucking seconds from now.

Being a more comedic and playful twist on the Five Nights at Freddy's series, it's only natural that the Five Nights at Fuckboy's series would have many funny moments to it. These games are guaranteed to make you split your sides from laughter.

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    General 
  • The entire reason this series was made was because of one simple question: "How much can I fuck up Five Nights at Freddy's?"
  • Dying at any point gives a screen of Cranky Kong telling you to "git gud".
    • In 2, on account of it being a prequel, he's younger to the point where he's just the original Donkey Kong, so a picture from the original arcade is used for his face.
    • 2's Save Import Scenario uses text from the Friday the 13th episode of The Angry Video Game Nerd and has the memetic "Game over, yeaaaaaah!" from Sega Rally playing instead of the usual game over tune.
    • In 3, he's dead from old age, and his face is represented by a skull.
    • Once you defeat Cranky Kong, it's Freddy telling him to git gud.
  • inhale my dong enragement child Pretty much tells you how the developer and most of the fans of Five Nights at Freddy's think about Balloon Boy.
  • The monotone "oh shit" that the party leader says every time a battle initiates.
  • Doubles as Awesome: the fact that the game has gained such a cult following that it inspired its own fangames. That's right: fangames of a fangame.
    • Taken up to eleven and beyond when you see that one of Scott's games is an RPG of all the Fazbear characters. It's Lighter and Softer, certainly, but the fact the there are two Freddy RPGs out there (and the unofficial one came out first) is too hilarious to not notice, although Scott himself confirmed that the series is not what inspired him to create said game.
  • The Compilation Re-release gives the player an ability to scan their enemies without wasting their turn, showcasing their names, current health, and occasional blurbs describing the enemies. At times, it provides useful description and insight on the enemies, but most of the time, it's just a comical Flavor Text that's just there for funny. To see them, look in the games' respective folders.
  • Q Scenario endings don't have any form of closure or ending sequence. Instead, Balloon Boy just goes "YESSSSSSSS" every time you advance the text with no end in sigh, forcing you to close the game yourself. Even when he's content, he can't help but be the most insufferable inconvenience in the building.

    1 
  • The conversation when you first have to recruit Bonnie, who complains about his missing head and demands Freddy to find it, despite being in a room full of spare heads, including his own.
    Bonnie: FREDDY MY FUCKING HEAD IS GONE
    Freddy: use one of the spares you fucking shit
    Bonnie: BUT IT'S NOT THE SAME
    Freddy: let me guess...
    you want me...
    ...to go find your fucking head
    Bonnie: YES
    Freddy: i fucking hate you
  • Freddy inspecting the cakes' table (which resembles a satanic altar due to the fact that it's based on RPG Maker's default altar) nets us this little gem:
    this is where they keep the cakes but it's also where i praise the dark lord satan
  • Freddy's reaction to the Puppet. And his "thank fuck" whenever resetting the timer.
    what the fuck is this timer ... OH GOD THE PUPPET
    • If you let the timer run out and "Pop Goes The Weasel" starts playing, Freddy's only response is a quiet, "fuck my life."
  • When first trying to enter the kitchen, Freddy declares that "i'm going to punch the fuck out of this door until it opens". After that, he punches the door. While saying "punch" out loud. Which gets extra funny when you start spamming punches. He gives up after 30 punches, however...
    "punch. punch. punch. Punchpunchpunchpunchpunchpunch...okay this isn't working"
    • ...Until you punch it 100 times and get the Dragon Dildo. No, seriously, the dick of a dragon, which is the ultimate weapon, just falls out of a door for no reason.
  • When finding the Kitchen Key to recruit Chica, there's a very rare chance that the chest will not have a key (or you can hold Q while opening the chest, which would also result in the lack of key). What follows is Freddy showing the player what his definition of "I'm going to shit" is.
    Freddy: if there's no key in here i'm going to shit
    (There's no key.)
    Freddy: i'm going to shit
  • Foxy refuses to join Freddy on his quest to have a night of debauchery because he's busy masturbating. The way Freddy recruits him? By burning down the Pirate Cove.
    • Once he finds the lighter, he prepares to burn down the Pirate Cove...only to discover that Balloon Boy stole it and decided to sell it back as a "special offer". When Freddy prepares to burn down the Pirate Cove for the second time, he declares "okay time to burn this place to the ground" and adds "FOR REAL" in the end.
    • After burning down Pirate Cove, Freddy says "R.I.P. Pirate Cove." Except it's written and said as "rip pirate cove." Saying "rest in peace" as "rip" will then become a Running Gag.
    • In the Compilation Re-release, when you recruit Foxy, the "You've Got a New Friend" jingle from EarthBound is replaced with the sound of the crowd sighing in disappointment. Nobody likes Foxy, not even the audience.
  • Once you get Foxy to Level 20, you'll find Balloon Boy on the stage. If you interact with him, he'll ask you to buy from him, only for Mangle to suddenly descend from the ceiling and tear his head off. The reactions from the gang really make it:
    Foxy: WHAT THE FUCKnote 
    Freddy: rip enragement child
  • In the Compilation Re-release, all cameras have been given variety. Some have a status effect for the entire battle, others excel in certain stats (like damage or speed)...but the Supply Closet Camera is a Zero-Effort Boss who possesses much less health than the other cameras, all damage done to it becomes critical, and its only attack is to "make an attempt" that will heal your party members. You'll almost feel bad for destroying it.note 
  • After defeating Golden Freddy, his enraged screaming lasts for five entire nights.
  • Fun with Enemy Scan blurbs in the Compilation Re-release:
    Party Hat γ: I deadass don't know what to write for this enemy. Fuck you.
    Party Hat Ω: A powerful party hat. Capable of causing mass devastation.
    Protection Hat β: (fought in the bathrooms) This hat was simply trying to take a shit. However, you so rudely interrupted it.
    Protection Hat γ: (fought in the Supply Closet) This enemy has yet to come out as a protection hat.
    Show Stage Camera: Every camera after this is fucking weird. Cherish these moments.
    Restroom Camera: The fumes emanating from the nearby shitters are slowly causing total organ failure.
    Pirate Cove Camera: Foxy has been training this camera in the arts of acceleration. The fucking traitor.
    Supply Closet Camera: This camera is unable.
    Mangle: You interrupted her masturbation, now she shall interrupt your respiratory system.
    Failure Card: i dont know how card games werk

    1, Q Scenario 
  • Balloon Boy's introduction.
    ARE YOU READY FOR FREDDY
    TOO FUCKING BAD
  • When Balloon Boy interacts with the cake table/Satan shrine, he will say that his "Outstanding Morals" prevent him from standing near the table. Next time you approach it, he is immediately deflected.
  • Balloon Boy's line when facing the Mangle:
    SUCCUMB TO MY DARK MAGIC YOU SHITFUCKING ASS TABLE

    1, W Scenario 

    2 
  • Toy Freddy refusing to open the presents in the Kids' Cove.
    stop. these presents can only be opened by the lord michael. jackson.
  • This game's take on the "Give cake to children" minigame, which is just a looping animation of a hand shoving a cake down an outscretched mouth, which in turn looks... pretty... odd.
  • The music that plays during the minigames are composed of ear-grating glitchy noises that are somehow ridiculously catchy.
  • When meeting Toy Chica for the first time, she tells Toy Freddy that kids flushed her cupcakes. Toy Freddy's response? "hot". Then Toy Chica demands that Toy Freddy goes into the toilet and takes them back. Toy Freddy refuses. Toy Chica then goes berserk and flushes Toy Freddy down the toilet, forcing him to retrieve her cupcakes against his will and accidentally scattering his tokens across the sewers.
  • Toy Freddy has to fight a boss by himself before leaving the sewers the first time. That boss? Splash Woman, represented by fan art of her in the "Mega Milk" pose. Made even better by the fact that they apparently used to date, and that the credits reveal that they're Vile's parents.
    Splash Woman: I only cheated on you like ten times.
    Toy Freddy: inhale
    Toy Freddy: also
    Toy Freddy: you stole my fucking car
    Splash Woman: too bad
  • When you first encounter Mangle, she plays a constant static sound in the room, as she does in Five Nights at Freddy's 2. Once you finally recruit her, she still makes the static sound, until...
    Toy Freddy: mangle your song fucking sucks. is this what you define as music? no.
    Mangle: freddy... i want to be hip with the kids...
    Toy Freddy: you disgust me. (punches Mangle, making the static stop)
  • An Overly Long Gag of Mangle asking Toy Freddy a favor before she could be recruited.
    Mangle: please buy me an esoteric sex toy...
    Toy Freddy: no
    Mangle: but i need it...
    Toy Freddy: no
    Mangle: but i need it...
    Toy Freddy: no
    Mangle: but i need it...
    Toy Freddy: no
    Mangle: but i need it...
    Toy Freddy: fine jesus fucking christ im sick of your shit already
  • Every time Toy Freddy resets the Puppet's timer, he says "no puppet man that's illegal".
    • If Toy Freddy resets the Puppet's timer 7 times in a row, then he'll say "puppet man i'm sick of your shit", take the Puppet, and then stuff it into a present box for naughty adults...until the Second Puppet arrives.
    • When resetting the Second Puppet's timer, Toy Freddy will say "get back in the box you ball-tripping fucknugget".
  • Once you approach the office and challenge the camera that resides there, Toy Freddy will question the presence of the camera in the office.
    Toy Freddy: wait. why the FUCK is there a camera in the office? uh... anyway... engage the camera motherfucker.
  • After defeating all cameras, Toy Freddy will declare that it's "time for the trifecta of the gods. sex. drugs. and that amazing sound it makes when you twist your back in the morning."
  • If the office camera is defeated last, BB will tell the party to get into the office when he reveals his plan. Toy Freddy says they are already in the office, BB will tell him to shut the fuck and and says that they aren't, and teleports the party to the main hall.
  • In the Compilation Re-release, once Toy Freddy rejects BB's offer to join him and rule the world together, and BB teleports away, Toy Freddy decides to turn off the ominous red light that BB turned on when revealing his true colors.
    Toy Freddy: okay cool but i am turning this red light off now if you don't mind
    (The lights return to normal)
    Toy Freddy: much better. i am now the sex
  • In the Compilation Re-release, just like in the remake of the first game, cameras were given variety here. Some are multiple bosses, some have unique skills, some have increased stats, and so on. Three of them, however, are much more different.
    • Party Room 3 Camera wields a gun. Yes, a security camera wields a gun. It even has a hand from the "hand pointing a gun" meme from True Crime: Streets of LA, recolored into a color of its hull! When Toy Freddy sees a gun, he responds with a brief "oh".
    • Party Room 2 Camera, similarly to Supply Closet Camera from the the remake of the first game, is comically ineffective. It has less health than other cameras, all attacks done to it inflict critical damage, and its only attack is to "make an attempt", which heals your party members.
    • The Office Camera reveals itself to be an Eldritch Abomination that makes the entire game glitch completely once its health is dropped below the half, throwing the player into the glitched version of the game's main menu, where you can only select "exit". When you do, an error message displays before the game continues glitching and then sends the player into a fight against the Office Camera's true form that resembles Goku made of cameras, gloating to Toy Freddy about preparing to destroy him, as Toy Freddy responds to every single taunt with nonchalant "i fucking hate you".
  • In the Compilation Re-release, the sewers' minigame, where Toy Freddy is required to collect the token bags is replaced with the Fishing Minigame titled "Five Nights at Fuckboy's: Salmon Location", hosted by Balloon Boy. Nearly everything about it is hilarious.
    • Balloon Boy inexplicably appears, and, when questioned by Toy Freddy, answers that he'll repay him his lost fortune and give him Toy Chica's cupcakes in exchange for Toy Freddy starring in "Five Nights at Fuckboy's: Salmon Location", where Toy Freddy needs to get 10 points. He tells Toy Freddy that all he needs is to hit the red area with the moving cursor in the minigame HUD. Unfortunately, the red area is a very thin line, guaranteeing that the player is nearly incapable of hitting it. When Toy Freddy inevitably misses, Balloon Boy mocks him for his failure and then changes the HUD to the gradient one to make the minigame easier, out of annoyance.
      B.B.: THIS IS FUCKING EMBARRASSING
      [The HUD changes]
      JUST DO IT LIKE THIS INSTEAD
      • Even better, if you somehow manage to hit the red at first, you'll fish out the Cerberus Dildo. No, really, you have a minuscule chance to fish out a three-headed dick of a cerberus, from the sewers of the women's bathroom. It gives you 999 points, marking it as the instant victory in the minigame.
    • On the gradient HUD, depending on where the cursor stops, you can fish out a "bad fish", a "good fish", or the "great fish", the closer the cursor is to the red area. None of the fish you fish out is actually a fish, which is what makes it funnier.
      • The "bad fish" you can fish out can be either a mysterious jar of the white liquid (cum?) with the pixellated...something swimming in there, a horse (which the game calls the "Man"), or a chest from Five Nights at Freddy's 4 post-release teaser (which is called the "Pandora's Box"). They subtract one point from your point scale and make crowd sigh in disappointment.
      • The "good fish" you can fish out can be either a credit card, an "Audacious Device" (which is a microphone), or an inexplicably preserved cheddar cheese. Toy Freddy says "i am quite pleased" when he fishes out his catch (except for cheddar, where he says "i am quite cheesed"), and you get one point.
      • The "great fish" you can catch can be either the Headgear of Excellencynote , an Irregular Disk (a CD disk in the shape of sunglasses-wearing Freddy's head) or a long-awaited release, which depicts an unofficial disk cover of Five Nights at Fuckboy's: Complete Collection as an officially-published video game. They net two points, and Toy Freddy says "inhale" after the successful catch.
    • After Splash Woman is beaten and Toy Chica's cupcakes are retrieved, Toy Freddy can play "Endless Salmon Mode", where the "fish" now awards him with items and tokens. There's also more "fish" added.
      • If you catch the "bad fish", you may also catch a Trashy Figurine (which is the Funko Pop! figurine of Toy Freddy), a "product of videogaming" (a gun aimed at the player; once fished out, it plays a sound of multiple gunshots), or...a Streamer α, complete with the enemy encounter sound (though the flavor text denies the battle, stating "...not today").
      • The "good fish" you can catch includes a salmon...which is already cooked, a phone (which is called iPhoan), a waterlogged corpse of Old Man Consequences (making Toy Freddy say "oh" in awkwardness), or...a photorealistic bear with goofy facial expression, which appears after the long pause and makes a roar when caught (prompting the confused flavor text to ask "what the fuck" upon seeing the catch).
      • The "great fish" you can catch includes the teaser for Five Nights at Fuckboy's: ASL, and the Windows 95 logo, referred to as "Aeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeesthetic".
  • The Compilation Re-release introduces more enemies besides streamers. There are Rival Pizzas, which were described as a "horrifying product sold by a knockoff pizza chain", Icecream that can heal its allies, Cakes, Presents, Endoskeleton Heads, and, to top it all, Cranky's Regrets, posters featuring a very doofy and Off-Model Freddy model with words "I WILL FACE GOD AND WALK BACKWARDS INTO HELL" written on them, and who can attack by walking backwards, resulting in the universe tearing apart. All it does is make one of your party members high.
    Cranky's Regret Enemy Scan blurb: The great one finds your degrading state of mind amusing.
  • Fun with Enemy Scan blurbs in the Compilation Re-release:
    Streamer β: Biting into this streamer will give you a blueberry taste aswell as brain damage.
    Streamer γ: Pissing.
    Icecream: Smeg.
    Arcade Cabinet: (blue version) he's blue get his ass
    Present: For you :)
    Protection Streamer α: Defeat this vessel to unlock capitalism.
    Show Stage Camera: A bastion of normalcy stands, unswayed in a sea of talented and unique peers.
    Game Room Camera 1: You've been hit by,
    Game Room Camera 2: you've been struck by,
    Game Room Camera 3: camera.
    Party Room 3 Camera: Your life ends 5 motherfucking seconds from now.
    Party Room 2 Camera: This camera cannot.
    Left Air Vent Camera: Your skills are merely a privilege. Prepare to be silenced.
    Withered Foxy: (second fight) my god. please leave me alone. i just want to fucking masturbate
    The Puppet: Ooga booga.
    Freddy Plush: An ancient wargod from times long gone past.
    • On the topic of Enemy Scan blurbs, apparently they really hate the animatronic plush flunkies of Parts/Service Camera, as every single one of them has very hostile one-word blurbs, every single one of which advocates their destruction.
      Golden Freddy Plush: Destroy.
      Bonnie Plush: Eliminate.
      Chica Plush: Vanquish.
      Foxy Plush: Erase.

    2, Q Scenario 
  • Balloon Boy's introduction, mimicking the one from the first game's Q Scenario.
    EXPECTING SOMEONE? TOO FUCKING BAD.
  • Balloon Boy can encounter Toy animatronics barring Toy Freddy. When talking to them, they all react to him as if he was Toy Freddy, and even call him Freddy, to which he reacts with extreme fury, angrily stating that his name is not Freddy. He can also repeat the stuff Toy Freddy does in the normal mode to recruit them, but with some twists that prevent him from recruiting them.
    • When Toy Bonnie is stuck in the vent and asks "Freddy" (actually B.B.) to help him, Balloon Boy can find stick and come back...but then he furiously asks why is the vent so fucking big and declares that Toy Bonnie is not worth helping, pondering why he came here in the first place.
    • Toy Chica tells "Freddy" (again, actually B.B.) that kids flushed her cupcakes and demands that he goes into the toilet and takes them back. B.B. rudely tells her to go retrieve them herself. When she gets mad and tries to flush him down the toilet, he beats her to the punch and flushes her down himself.
    • When talking to Mangle, B.B. tells her that her antics drive him to insanity, calling her a "DELIRIOUS PINK SHITBUCKET". She demands that he buys her an esoteric sex toy, just like with Toy Freddy, but B.B. responds with a "FUCK YOU" every time when she says "but i need it", eventually deciding to leave. Of course, he can buy her a sex toy, and fight Withered Foxy when the latter snitches it away, but when he comes back with a toy, he decides to drop a sad truth...
      I'M BACK
      NOW FOR THE SAD TRUTH
      I NEVER PLANNED TO GIVE YOU THE OBJECT OF MERRIMENT IN THE FIRST PLACE.
  • In the Compilation Re-release, when B.B. sees Party Room 3 Camera pointing a gun at him, he demands the camera to give a gun to him.
  • B.B. gets very confused with Office Camera's true nature, every time stunnedly asking "HOW" in places where Toy Freddy said "i fucking hate you" when the camera gloated to him in the glitchy dimension.

    2, Save Import Scenario 
  • After the gang's attempt to get back to 1993 strands them in a temporal void, Bonnie attempts to fix the DeLorean with percussive maintenance...just as Balloon Boy fixed the damned thing anyway. This breaks the time machine again and sends them to the timeline of the main story, at the point just after the Toys get fired. Freddy makes the most of the situation for his own amusement.
    Freddy: I'm going to become an unwinnable boss, and screw with their fucking heads.
    • Right before that, it turns out that the time machine sent everyone to the game's credits. It's about this point where BB decides to pull a Screw This, I'm Outta Here Freddy doesn't take it very well.
      Enragement Child you fuckcabinet
    • The best part about it is when Freddy slowly says "Inhale" several times at the end, as if he's catching his breath.
  • The fact that the Refurbs actually took the time to pose when facing off against their doppelgangers, although it is just as awesome. Not to mention that Freddy's left arm is in Chica's face, and appears to be only seconds away from Flipping the Bird. And the way Foxy is positioned, he looks ready to take a bite from that fucking cupcake.
  • BB's final form, and everything about it. See for yourself; it's just so absurd that you're guaranteed to laugh just by looking at it. And if that doesn't do it, hearing "Enragement Child" instead of Sephiroth will.

    3, Acts 1 and 2 
  • Springtrap and Phantom BB's banter at the beginning of the game.
    • "your current form leaves much to be desired.. weak... frail... pitiful and fragile... also it fucking sucks"
    • "devour my excrement undead partywear"
    • "anyway fuck your shit inhale etc."
  • "FREDDY MY FUCKING SOUL IS GONE"
  • While Springtrap speaks more than the previous animatronics, he also speaks in an odd, stilted manner where he spreads his speech across several different text boxes. Sometimes he does it mid-sentence, even.
    Springtrap: yes. here we are. now for my dramatic entrance. the plan is almost complete.
  • In the previous games, inaccessable areas were justified or at least handwaved by Freddy. Here, Springtrap just says no if he doesn't want to go somewhere. The one time he gives any further elaboration is if the door leads outside the building.
    Springtrap: i have a debilitating fear of open spaces. i cannot exit.
    • If Springtrap is repeatedly directed to that door, he eventually decides to leave the building...and immediately gets caught in a car crash. Then several more car crashes ensue afterwards. The real kicker is Springtrap's reaction: "Ouch".
  • When interacting with arcade machines in Act One.
    Springtrap: fuck yes let's do this...wait. it needs quarters. i have tokens.
    (Beat)
    Springtrap: goddamit.
  • "GET FUCKING FUCKED YOU MOTHERFUCKING MOTHERFUCKER"
  • Springtrap has to go through the same thing Freddy did in 2 with Phantom Mangle.
    Springtrap: "fine jesus fucking christ i'm sick of your shit already"
  • Springtrap finding out he can't get into the office.
    "Fuck my life. It's incredibly fucking locked, five times over. This isn't just security, this is advanced security. One day, office. One day."
  • In Act Two, Golden Freddy can leave the building without getting a Non-Standard Game Over. He can access Starbucks from the northern exit, and Walmart from the southern. Whenever doing this, you're treated to him sliding across images of the respective establishment. And in the former case, drinking gives a cutscene with a tiny Golden Freddy sprite looking downright adorable. Oh, and GoAnimate-Caillou may make an appearance. Throughout all of this, the remix of the Super Mario Land main theme used while Toy Freddy knocks Toy Bonnie out of the vent in 2 plays.
  • The flashbacks have Springtrap's list of reasons for why he and Golden Freddy were fired. One of which being that someone complained about Golden Freddy saying the word "Yiff" to the manager. He also feels the need to mention they are "Not cool enough" twice.
  • Additionally, this:
    Springtrap: Freddy my child, don't you think that things get just a tad boring around here on the show stage? (And by a bit I mean it fucking sucks.)"
  • Springtrap's reaction to the '90s Endoskeleton boss fight. Springtrap asks if the Endoskeleton is supposed to be "a shitty fan character or something," along with saying "Freddy and friend's new budget buddy," implying that this incarnation of the Freddy's chain is so cheap they use costume-less robots as part of their attractions.
  • The beginning of the Last Camera boss fight, which is also pretty awesome in a way. A security camera puts on sunglasses, arms itself with two guns, then summons the cameras from the previous games as well as two Death Balloons. The difficulty ranking for this camera is also ridiculously high.
  • During the final battle, we have Springtrap's reaction to Golden Freddy summoning his minions.
    Springtrap: Jesus fucking Christ, stop spawning so much shit you've over-crowding our room.
  • Despite only having a very short cameo, the very existence of the perpetually cheerful Tyke (called Chipper in-game) from Chipper & Sons Lumber Co. is hilarious, considering he's the backbone by which Scott created the Freddy's series but has a radically different tone.

    3, Act 3 
Troper and co. fucked up...
https://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/git_gud.png

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