"You really want me to lose my religion tonight, don't you?"
— Talia (to Apollo), First Blood
From poorly thought-out plans to snarky comebacks to admittedly underwhelming effects, there's no shortage of laughs to be had throughout First Kill.
Spoilers are unmarked! Proceed at your own risk!
- Ben has a habit of getting Juliette's attention by honking his horn, which gets on her family's nerves.Margot: *sighs* Juliette, could you please remind Ben that we have a doorbell?
Elinor: One day, I am going to kill him.- We see it even annoy her grandmother in 1x04.
Davina: Well, let's hope he tastes better than he behaves. - Clocking the longing looks, Ben suggests Juliette talk to Cal. Juliette insists that she's definitely spoken to Cal by now. Smash cut to flashbacks of Jules trying and failing to talk to Cal.
- Specifically, the first one sees her staring at Cal from behind while reading a book. The second (and most embarrassing) one sees her trying to strike a conversation after PE only for Cal to not hear her and walk away while she's talking. The last one sees her waiting for Cal to approach the top of the stairs just to walk down the stairs as though she were just passing through.
- Come the time for Jules and Cal to finally speak to each other, Jules can barely form smart, coherent thoughts, and it's adorably entertaining to watch.
- When Juliette spins the bottle, Ben blatantly and shamelessly stops the bottle and twists it towards Cal.
- There's something humorous about how abruptly Juliette first kisses Cal in the pantry. Cal even looks at her afterwards like, "What just happened?"
- When the Burnses are given cover jobs by the Guild upon moving into their home in Savannah, Apollo is less than thrilled to learn he's being saddled with a trainer position.
- Calliope's attempt to sneak back into her house while Talia has her back turned only to immediately get busted.
- Talia drags Cal out of bed to see why staking Juliette didn't kill her. But when Cal starts out by saying "We were in a pantry, kinda close...", Talia immediately asks what they were doing in a pantry. Given that your daughter is gay and you already know the vampire in question is a girl, it's not hard to guess, Talia.
- Cal's response? "It was a dare."
- When Juliette asks if Cal would've staked her had she not bitten her, Cal says she would've. Jules almost immediately points out that her racing heartbeat is an indication that she's lying. All Cal can do now that she's lost control of the situation is walk away with an annoyed look.
- This comes right after Cal just got through calling Jules a "really shitty liar".
- When Juliette voices her disapproval of a yellow and rather out-of-fashion gown to her grandmother, said grandmother then tells her that she wore that same gown to her own debut. Juliette's smile immediately vanishes.
- We get Ben's opinion a few minutes later.
Jules: Does it look like I can go anywhere right now?
Ben: You look like you should be frantically teaching the Beast to waltz before the last petal falls! - Apollo brags during training that he was born ready, only to be knocked off his feet from behind by Jack.
- Jules is reading up on the history of legacy vampires when Elinor approaches and mentions that, while Eve ran away from the bite of the serpent, Lilith welcomed it. She then says she always found that to be rather kinky, earning a particular look from Juliette.
- Cal is playing a game of Domino with Mike when he suddenly takes a serious tone.Mike: I respect you, Cal, which is why I hate to do this... (slams table) Domino!
- While Oliver is captured, Theo and Apollo try to come up with ways to kill him. Oliver's sarcasm is on full display here.Apollo: Why don’t we just do this the old-fashioned way? Stake him to the bottom of the river and let time and erosion work its magic?
Oliver: Oh, the Savannah River’s not far. If you guys can avoid the gators and the sewage runoff, we have a real shot. But I can hold my breath for a really, really long time, so make sure your calendar’s clear. (winks at Theo) - Theo pulls Oliver's ring off and finds it comes with a ribbon that is under his skin. Examining the ring, Theo notes that it signifies a bond with a witch. Oliver says, "Her name's Carmen. We haven't really put a label on anything just yet," then laughs at length. Dealing with vampires and ghouls is one thing, but Theo and Apollo exchange a look that says, "This guy is NUTS."
- When Juliette and Ben introduce Calliope to Bunny, we get this exchange.Ben: Bunny, this is Juliette's friend, Calliope.
Bunny: Oh, friend friend or "bring some of that over here" friend?
Ben: Mom.
Bunny: What? You already told be about Jules swapping spit with some hot new thing at your secret boyfriend's party. Why so hush-hush now?- Not to mention the look Jules and Cal give Ben when she says that last part.
- Then there's what she says when she heads back inside.
Bunny: You girls come in for some chocolate cream pie if you're hungry for something other than each other. - While freaking out after learning Juliette is a vampire, Ben asks if she was tasting him when she kissed him back in 2016. She rolls her eyes and reminds him that he was the one who kissed her.
- Cal is watching this off to the side looking rather uncomfortable. It's sometimes speculated if she's feeling a bit jealous about Jules and Ben having had a thing going in the past.
- As they bury a body, the teens reflect on the trouble they're in.Cal: My parents are gonna kill me.
Jules: Mine are furious.
Cal: I'm gonna be grounded for life.
Ben: Bunny's watching Below Deck without me. - There's something funny about Cal and Juliette getting it on upside a tree 20 feet away from their friends.
- While Cal and Juliette are away, Ben is approached by Sebastian demanding to know where Jules is. Ben's response? On a scavenger hunt.
- Juliette and Cal try to get into the school at night for refuge from their families, but find all the doors are locked. Juliette finds one door with a window and tells Cal that vampires have a little trick to bypass locked doors. Whatever you just thought of is wrong; she smashes the window with her elbow to turn the knob from the inside.
- While taking refuge in the school auditorium, Cal mentions that she originally had a crush on Bruno Mars only to discover she prefers girls who look like Bruno Mars. The resemblance between him and Juliette is uncanny.
- After Sebastian confesses to eating Davina, Margot is oddly stiff and deadpan. How does one react to learning their spouse just ate their parent?Margot, slowly: You ate... my mother?
- Shortly before this, Sebastian lets out a huge burp and Elinor swiftly hands him a shirt to wipe his mouth with.
- During a police interrogation, Margot becomes annoyed and asks one of the cops for their badge number. Juliette is understandably embarrassed.
- After Cal and Juliette are interrogated by the police, Talia sternly tells Cal that she's to never interact with Juliette again. Juliette then drops a ring, so Cal picks it up and hands it back to her. As if to rub even more salt on the wound, their grip on each other's hands tightens to the point where they're briefly holding hands.
- Talia's resulting "What did I just say" leer is so potent that Cal doesn't even have to look at her to know it's there.
- After Bunny starts a crowd chanting against him, Sebastian says to Elinor, "One day, I'm gonna eat that woman."
- There's something funny — in a What An Idiot way — about Philippa's dad loudly telling a group of people that the cops can't protect them, but a bunch of middle-aged suburban housewives, led by one whose distinguishing features are drinking wine and having lips that are mostly filler, can.
- At a club, Elinor encourages Juliette to get up and dance with her. As clubs aren't Juliette's thing, her moves are small and awkward.Elinor: Okay, now try dancing like you don't have a raging UTI.
- When Cook's body is discovered and it's revealed that he was killed by a vampire, Juliette starts to worry. Calliope's solution: bring Juliette home so her parents can help her remain beneath notice. To repeat: Cal suggests that her parents, who are hunters who want Juliette dead just for being a vampire, would be willing to protect Juliette. The face Juliette makes in response (pictured above) is not inappropriate.
- Going deeper, recall that Juliette can tell when someone is lying by an increased heartrate. When Cal makes her suggestion, it's easy to read Juliette's reaction as thinking, "This girl must be trying to get me killed," only to read her heartbeat and realize, "Oh, she's serious!"
- When Cal brings Juliette home, they expectedly react poorly, to say the least. They immediately point their weapons at Juliette, but Cal refuses to get out of the way. Then she reveals that Juliette has already been invited inside, and they go up to her room to wait until Jack and Talia are ready to talk.
- Talia then wonders why Juliette would've come by their house. Apparently, Talia doesn't know why a lesbian would invite another lesbian into the house.
- They then follow the girls upstairs and burst into Cal's bedroom, with Talia ostracizing her daughter, not for bringing a vampire home, but for being in her room with a girl while the door is closed.
- Theo and Apollo watch a film recording of the last person to successfully kill a legacy, and he's such a tool.Apollo: This dipshit is so full of himself.
Theo: [glancing at Apollo] Glad we don't have anyone like that in our family. - Margot chiding Cal and then Jules for doing a candidly poor job of disposing of Cook's body is rude in a somewhat comical way, especially when it ends with Cal calling Margot "awful" to her face.
- There's something hilariously stupid about M.A.A.M. thinking that Calliope is a vampire, especially after she held a silver coin to no effect at the police checkpoint.
- After a fruitless call with the fruitcake Bunny, Margot turns to Sebastian.Margot: [sternly] You cannot eat her. Call the chief and tell her to get that crazy woman off my lawn. [walks away]
Sebastian: Fine! [lowers voice] But I liked my way better. - When Juliette confronts Elinor about Theo's supposed murder, Elinor walks into the house and closes the door behind her... right in Juliette's face.
- When Oliver learns the reason Elinor betrayed him and got him exiled, the look on his face just screams "Wow, really?"
- While vampire!Theo is convulsing in agony in the family armory, Apollo asks if he's hurting, prompting a "What do you think?" sort of look.
- The randomness of how vampire!Theo knocks Juliette to the ground as he runs out of the house.
- When Jack follows him, he stops and looks at the downed Juliette before continuing his pursuit.
