Funny / Everwood

• Ephram compares Delia's desire to watch Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory (even though it gives her nightmares) to "a junkie begging for more smack." The following ensues.
  Delia: I'm not a junkie! You're a junkie!
  Andy: No one in this house is a junkie! Yet...
• Ephram's reaction to Delia saying Linda's meal tastes like shit.
  Andy: Stop laughing!
  Ephram: I'm trying!
• Ephram gets drunk at a party after Amy tells him to move on following their first kiss. Then decides it would be a good idea to urinate on a tree.
  "Hello, Mr. Bush. I am your sprinkler. (giggles) Sprinkler. That's funny. More people should like me. (A cop pulls up.)
• "Now, if you choose not to respond to my parental authority, I should warn you I have mind-altering drugs in the other room, and I'm not afraid to use them."