The cinema versionnote And also the DVD version of the episode included a hilarious exclusive "prequel" that was played before the episode started which featured Strax explaining the history of the Doctor in the style of a status update; when he reaches Nine he declares he was "all ears" and almost dies laughing.
Early on in the prequel, it's revealed that Strax has a bit of Skewed Priorities:
Strax tries to have the newly regenerated Doctor exit the TARDIS.
12th Doctor: (pokes head out) SHUSH! (slams the door shut)
Strax: ...Doctor?
12th Doctor: (pokes head out again) I was being chased by a giant dinosaur, but I think I managed to give it the slip! (slams door shut, only to slowly poke his head out again) ...Sleepy?
Strax: (confused as all hell) Sir...?
12th Doctor: (gets out of the TARDIS and advances towards Strax) Bashful? Sneezy? Dopey? (Strax starts backing away from the Doctor out of confusion) ...Grumpy!
(The Doctor notices Vastra and Jenny)
12th Doctor: Oh, you two! The green one... and the not green one! Or it could be the other way around, I mustn't pre-judge!
Clara gets the worst of the Accidental Misnaming from the newly-regenerated Doctor:
12th Doctor:I remember you... You're Handles! You used to be a little-... A little robot head and now you've... you've really let yourself go!
After the disastrous crashing of the last episode we start with — a Tyrannosaurus rex in Victorian London. That's not the oddest thing on this show. Then, it coughs — and out comes the TARDIS. Guess we know where the Doctor landed this time — in the mouth of a Tyrannosaurus rex in the Cretaceous Period! Which he then accidentally took with him to Victorian London. One can only imagine the words the TARDIS must have said when she realised what was about to come...
Imagine the words she must have said when she realised just where the Doctor was taking her, with the dinosaur.
Imagine the words she must have said when she was spat out and realised that she was covered in Tyrannosaurus saliva.
And then there's Twelve's not-quite-clear-on-the-concept grasp of what just happened:
The Doctor: I was being chased by a giant dinosaur, but I think I managed to give it the slip!
While Vastra, Jenny, and Strax look at the T. rex, Jenny comments on how big "he" is:
Vastra: Dinosaurs were mostly this size. (leans in to murmur in Jenny's ear) And I do believe it's a "she".
Jenny: No they weren't. I've seen fossils.
Vastra:(with amusingly irritated disbelief) I was there!
Vastra's incredulous response to the Inspector thinking the T. rex laid an egg.
Vastra: ...It dropped a blue box marked "Police" from its mouth. Your grasp of biology, it troubles me.
The Twelfth Doctor's general demeanour throughout the first third of the episode, which can be attributed to the Doctor still making the transition from his previous personality.
The Doctor:[to a T. rex] Oi! Oi! Hey, big sexy woman!
Also:
The (still unclear on what's happened) Doctor:[To Vastra & Jenny]You've got a dinosaur, too?
In addition, the Doctor tells the T. rex to shut it, tries to convince her he's not flirting, thinks Clara is Handles, mixes up Clara and Strax, and then topples over.
As he falls over, the TARDIS rings the Cloister Bell, as if rolling her eyes at just how many goddamn times the Doctor has lost his memory after regenerating.
The post-regenerative loony bin Doctor has no clue what sleeping quarters are:
The Doctor:WHO INVENTED THIS ROOM!?
And he seems unsatisfied with conventional exits, too:
[the Doctor opens a door to exit his bedroom, but suddenly shuts it in disapproval] The Doctor: Door. Boring. Not me. [dashes over to an open window and sticks his head out with a giant grin] The Doctor:ME!!
Also, he doesn't quite grasp the concept of mirrors or his new face at the moment:
The Doctor: Don't look in that mirror, it's absolutely furious!
The Doctor tries to figure out why Clara and Jenny now sound English, and is delighted when Vastra uses a Scottish accent:
The Doctor: Finally, someone who can talk properly.
Vastra gets the Doctor to try and put her to sleep, knowing that in his post-regenerative state he'll put himself to sleep... and he does, complete with cartoon sound effect.
Vastra: Silly monkey. Jenny: Oh, humans are monkeys now, are we? Vastra: Of course not. Humans are apes. Men are monkeys.
Strax and Clara are really in top comedic form when they're together.
Strax: May I take your coat? Clara:[beat] Not wearing a coat. Strax: What's all that? Clara: Clothes. Strax: May I take your clothes? Clara: Probably not. Strax: Are you wearing a hat? Clara: It's hair! Strax: No, I think it's a hat. Would you like me to check? — Strax: Ah, Miss Clara! You look better now you're up. Clara: Thanks, Strax. Strax: Oh. Sorry. Trick of the light. You still look terrible. — Strax: Military tactics. The Doctor is still missing, but he will always come looking for his box! By bringing it here, he will be lured from the dangers of London to this place of safety, and we will melt him with acid! Clara: Okay, that last part? Strax: And we will not melt him with acid! Old habits. [holds up newspaper] The Times, shall I send it up? Clara: Yeah, why not? cue newspaper hitting Clara square in the face and knocking her down
Made even funnier by how both times he says "melt him with acid!", he says it in the exact same tone, making the exact same dramatic gesture.
Jenny gives Vastra a light tap on the head when she realizes that Vastra is flirting with Clara ("Oi! Married!"), which elicits a playful hiss from her wife.
There was this exchange before the Doctor rode the horse to the burning T. rex site:
The Doctor: Sorry, but I'm going to have to relieve you of your pet. Cab Driver: You what? The Doctor: Shut up, I was talking to the horse!
Strax giving Clara a medical examination. From his device reading her thoughts about "muscular men playing sport" to Strax remarking on Clara's "enviable spleen".
The Doctor takes immense pleasure in the fact that, this particular regeneration has, in fact, become Scottish:
The Doctor: I'm Scottish! I can complain about things. I can really complain about things now!
One wonders if some of Amy's habits had rubbed off on him. He did say she was seared onto his hearts, after all.
For that matter, one wonders how Sylvester McCoy and David Tennant reacted to this scene.
Tramp: What devilry is this, sir? The Doctor: I don't know. But I probably blame the English.
In addition, the fact that the Doctor only realizes he's gone Scottish when he thinks about his eyebrows declaring independence from the rest of his face.
Vastra displays her Covert Pervert tendencies having Jenny pose for her in her (period appropriate) underwear. They discuss details of the case while Jenny very carefully holds a goddess-like pose... only for Vastra to cheerfully reveal that she hasn't been working on a painting at all.
Jenny: ...I thought you were painting me! Vastra: I was working. Jenny: Well then what am I posing for?! Vastra:[smirk] Well, you brighten the room tremendously! Chin up a little...? Jenny: I don't understand why I'm doing this. Vastra:[shrugs] ...Art?
It's Jenny's deadpan look when she realizes the prank that really sells it. Her expression just screams "I married this person and I did it on purpose."
Neve McIntosh's delivery of "...Art?" really deserves highlighting, considering that the woman has previously played two murderous Silurians and is now using her squeakiest, most Adorkable voice for a character who's normally a hard-boiled detective. And the fact that after a visible beat, Vastra obviously realizes that her wife is not even slightly fooled and decides to just move on.
Jenny's increasing exasperation throughout the episode as Vastra keeps teasing her.
Clara and the Doctor's lunch date at Mancini's. Awkward does not begin to describe it.
The Doctor:[having just magically appeared next to Clara while she was looking away] What's wrong? Clara:[coughs] I dunno, maybe the smell? The Doctor: I know, it's everywhere. Clara: ...Where did you get that coat? The Doctor:[shifty eyes] Uh— [cough] I bought it. Clara: From where? The Doctor: Uh, a shop. Clara: No. The Doctor: I met a tramp... Clara: You don't have any money. The Doctor: Uh... [long pause] I had a watch...
Peter Capaldi deserves special mention in this scene for his mastery of comedic timing and expression.
Clara is not best pleased when she realises the Doctor thinks she's an egomaniac, needy game-player.
Clara: That was me?! The Doctor: Never mind that now. Clara: I do mind, actually... The Doctor: Clara, what is happening right now, in this restaurant, to you and me, is more important than your egomania. Clara:Nothing is more important than my egomania! The Doctor: Right, you actually said that. Clara: You never mention that again!
Later:
The Doctor: And you're out of your depth, sir. Never try and control a control freak. Clara: I am not a control freak! The Doctor: Yes ma'am.
The Doctor threatens to blow up the Half-Face Man's ship if he sees anything he doesn't like from him or the other clockwork droids. He cautions that the list includes karaoke and mimes, so they shouldn't take any chances.
As we later learn, the list also includes pears.
The Doctor's embarrassment when he realises the Droids weren't the ones who placed the advertisement in the paper for him and Clara to find them.
The Doctor: I hate being wrong in public. Everyone forget that happened!
Vastra and Jenny have a Big Damn Heroes moment. Strax's arrival is... a little more undignified.
The fact that both of them are more annoyed by Strax ruining their dramatic moment than by any tactical disadvantage it gave them.
Clara's first impression of the new desktop theme for the TARDIS' control room: "You redecorated. I don't like it."
The Eleventh Doctor isn't happy to hear that he'll be old with gray hair in his next incarnation.
Clara's playful but rather lame jab at the Twelfth's new accent, when she learns they've landed the TARDIS in Glasgow.
The Doctor briefly mentions that he "used to have a lots of round things. I wonder where I put them." This implies that the round things can actually be removed from the walls and stored somewhere and the Doctor has, once again, forgotten where he put something!
Missy starts off as she means to go on - being utterly insane!
Clara: "Hang on, [Vastra] called the police? We never do that. We should start."
The Doctor, about the "Fantastic Voyage" Plot of the episode: "Fantastic idea for a movie. Terrible idea for a proctologist."
Clara meets Danny for the first time, and tries to get him to come to a going-away party with her. It cuts back and forth between Danny in the hallway turning her down and a Flash Forward of Danny in his classroom saying that he'd love to go, then beating his head against a desk. Becomes funnier when he realises Clara is watching him from the doorway.
The scene took so many attempts to film that Danny's actor ended up with a bump on his head.
The Doctor-Robin double-act is a great source of these.
Robin Hood: Robin Hood laughs in the face of all! [laughs] The Doctor: And do people ever punch you in the face when you do that? Robin Hood: Not as yet. The Doctor: Lucky I'm here then, isn't it?
The duel between Robin Hood and the Doctor. Robin has a sword. The Doctor has a spoon. And he wins.
Before he produces his spoon, the Doctor announces himself: "I'm the Doctor...", while pulling on a large gauntlet with his middle finger extended.
The Doctor:[jabs Alan-A-Dale with a syringe] Sorry, blood analysis, all these diseases... if you were real, you'd be dead in 6 months. Alan: But I am real. The Doctor: Bye.
The archery contest with loads of arrow splitting and ending with the Doctor blowing up the target.
Both Robin Hood and the Doctor have a plan to escape the dungeon, but they're too busy cock fighting to explain. Clara tells the Doctor to shut up so Robin can finally tell his plan. It's "bide his time". The Doctor mocks him and then Clara says that his plans can't involve the words "sonic" or "screwdriver" because it was taken from him. He's got nothing. Because of this scene, the guard thinks Clara is The Leader of the trio, much to the other two's confusion.
"GUARD! HE'S LAUGHING AGAIN! YOU CAN'T KEEP ME LOCKED UP IN HERE WITH A LAUGHING PERSON!"
As the Sheriff starts listing places that he's going to take over, Clara suggests Worksop. That whole exchange, really. The Sheriff starts by talking about how Nottingham alone is not enough — he'll take over Derby! And next — Lincoln!
The Sheriff's deadpan reaction to the Doctor's theory that Robin is another robot created to give the slaves hope, and how he points out that it would be utter stupidity for someone to create their own enemy to fight against them.
Twelve steals a night watchman's coffee, and right after implying it was the "perfect hiding" creature.
Twelve has apparently spent several years searching for Wally in all the wrong books.
Twelve gives us this gem when Clara is yanked by the spaceman (Orson) from the restaurant straight back into the TARDIS.
The Doctor: Ah, Clara! Well done, you found her. Now this is really a bit strange.
Clara: ...Danny?
The Doctor: What's gone wrong with your face? It's all eyes. Why are you all eyes? Get them under control!
Twelve's idea of a bedtime story. He begins with that standard "once upon a time", and then uses his mental powers to put Danny asleep. He calls it "dad skills", implying it's how he got his kids to sleep back on Gallifrey.
One imagines that it never worked with Susan as she was just as stubborn as her grandfather. If she didn't want to sleep, she wasn't sleeping!
Clara gets to see just what she actually looks like from behind with her own two eyes; she's quite pleased with it. Not unlike the reaction Amy Pond had with seeing herself.
When Clara slips up and lets on that she knows Danny's real name, someone in the background drops and breaks a glass.
Clara glomping the Doctor at the end, who tries to run away and waves his hands insisting, "No, not this again!" Clara's smirk as she keeps her hold is the icing on the cake.
Clara tries to show off her preparations for her date with Danny... but it just bounces off the Doctor, who hasn't got a clue what she's going on about.
Danny and Clara being interrupted by a student while flirting:
The Doctor's insistence that nothing will happen when he answers the phone. The moment he answers it, it cuts to him and Clara in a room holding memory worms. Both scream and drop the worms in abject horror.
Psi asks why the Doctor has to be in charge. Twelve's explanation?
"Basically it's the eyebrows."
The view then switches to Clara, who seems to be in agreement.
Right near the end, the Doctor declares "I know one thing (about the Architect), something I have known from the very start. I hate him!" It is Capaldi's spot on, perfect delivery of this line that makes it totally hilarious. Even funnier — he bangs a gong just to let the world know this.
Made doubly hilarious once it's revealed he's talking about himself.
The Doctor describing his costume: "I was going for minimalism but I think it turned out magician." That has to be one of Moffat's contributions to the script.
Clara's reaction to the fact that the Doctor has taken a job as a caretaker at her school is wide eyed horror; we can all see she's thinking "Ohhh, God, this won't end well."
The Doctor and River had had a fight, so he lived with otters for a month. Who wants to bet the otters either got bored of him or tried to kill him within minutes?
Clara has a lot of fun rants where Jenna shows her Motor Mouth skills. It's hard to pick the best one. One candidate is her trying to ferret out the Doctor's secret mission and then later when he's introduced as the new Caretaker.
"Is there an alien in this school?" "Yes! Me!"
Clara makes it clear that her co-worker Adrian (who clearly resembles Eleven) is not "her type". The Doctor goes wide-eyed.
The Doctor whistles a tune to get Clara's attention. More specifically, he whistles the "We don't need no education" line from "Another Brick in the Wall".
As Clara's trying to teach a class, the Doctor interrupts her and tells her that she's written the wrong date for when Jane Austen wrote Pride and Prejudice. When an exasperated Clara asks him if he knew because he went back to visit Austen and had a grand big adventure fighting aliens with her, the Doctor deadpans that he read the bio at the back of the book.
It is to be noted that they have this conversation through the window in the back of the classroom, much to Clara's horror.
The conversation:
The Doctor: Jane Austen wrote Pride and Prejudice in 1796
Some lines later, in which Clara has tried to explain the Doctor to the class.
The Doctor: Not in 1797, because she didn't have the time. She was so busy...
Clara: Oh, I suppose she was your bezzie mate, was she? And you went on holidays together and then you got kidnapped by Boggons from Outer Space and then you all formed a band and met Buddy Holly.
The Doctor: No, I read the book. There's a bio at the back.
The fact that the Doctor denies none of it except the Boggons - which he's more offended at Clara making up such a dumb term for - implies there is, in fact, an off-screen adventure where the Doctor and Jane Austen got kidnapped in space and did, in fact, form a band with Buddy Holly...
"He's your dad. He's your... space... dad." It's Danny's expression that really sells it.
"That is, that is really, really brilliant reasoning. How can you think that I'm her dad when we both look exactly the same age?" Sometimes 12 forgets that he's not 11 anymore.
The Doctor's excuse for never getting Danny Pink's name or profession right? "No, no I can't retain that. It's just not going in."
Some fridge brilliance: the series establishes that Ian Chesterton is still alive and chairman of the school governors. How did the Doctor come to be the school's new caretaker? He probably went to his old friend, explained an alien was on the loose (and probably his new face as well), and politely asked for the job. Furthermore, Ian departed from the TARDIS before the first regeneration, so the Doctor probably had to explain that too. Picture him doing the mind-meld that Eleven did.
No, this is Twelve we're talking about. Insults were definitely involved.
Apparently, the Doctor lost his temper in the middle of writing a sign that should have said "Keep out" and wrote "Go away humans", instead.
Twelfth Doctor: Oh, so it does. Never lose your temper in the middle of a door sign.
When he turns himself invisible with a watch, what's the first thing the Doctor does? Flick Clara's nose like the five year old he actually is.
The various Shout Outs to Tumblr, especially considering the huge fanbase for the show on that site.
Lundvik and Clara are having a serious conversation involving children and eventually the former asks the latter if she wants to have children. Clara replies that yes, she does. Cue Courtney saying "Oh Mr. Piinnkkk..." and Clara's embarrassed reaction.
The Doctor offering Professor Moorhouse a jelly baby from a cigarette case.
The Doctor talking to himself about the mystery. Bonus points for Peter's Tom Baker impression.
The Doctor flashes the psychic paper to convince the conductor that he's his worst fear. Turns out that's a mystery shopper.
The Doctor is hilariously callous towards the doomed Professor Moorhouse:
Moorhouse:[describing the Foretold, which only he can see] Approximately 1.8 metres tall. Actually, seeing it in the flesh isn't nearly as rewarding as I thought it might be. The Doctor: Oh dear, hard cheese. What can you see? Details! Moorhouse:[replacing his glasses] Yes, yes, of course. Well, it just looks like, um, a man in bandages. I... The Doctor: What sort of bandages? Old? New? Moorhouse: Old. The Doctor: Whole? Ragged? Moorhouse: Ragged. Falling off in places. [panicking] I don't know what you want me to tell you! The Doctor: Listen! You can see this thing. We can't. Tell us what you can see, even the smallest detail might help us save the next one! Moorhouse:"The next one"? You mean... you can't save me?! The Doctor:[bluntly] Well, that is implied, isn't it? Yes, this is probably the end for you. [upbeat] But, make it count! Details, please!
The Doctor's use of previous Nightmare Fuel phrase "Are you my Mummy?"
In a meta sense, the fact that it took the good Doctor somewhere upwards of 1100 years and a regeneration to do something about the phone call he got after successfully rebooting the universe.
Out of all the Mythology Gags in this episode (and this series in general), the reveal that the sarcophagus is filled with bubble wrap is perhaps the funniest. You can bet that a lot of parents had to explain that joke to their kids.
One slightly more important fact... just why is the sarcophagus filled with Bubble Wrap? Well, Eleven did once mention that he was at the prayer meeting that sealed the mummy away and we can assume he put the bubble wrap in there because he found it funny that, eventually, someone is going to dig up the mummy and find bubble wrap in there!
The sight of the Doctor awkwardly squeezing out of a tiny TARDIS is a riot.
Then it gets even smaller, to the point that the Doctor can't even fit his face through the door. Clara loves this.
Clara: Oh... The Doctor: Yes. "Oh." Clara:[giggling]Oh my god, that is so adorable. You in there? The Doctor: Yes I am, and no it's not adorable. It's very, very serious. Clara: Is this more shrink-ray stuff? Are you tiny in there? The Doctor: No. I'm exactly the same size. It's merely the exterior dimensions that have changed. [The Doctor opens the tiny TARDIS-doors, looking out at Clara] Clara:[bursts out laughing] The Doctor: Stop laughing, this is serious! Clara: Well I can't help it, can I, with you and your big old face!
The Doctor sticking his hand out of the tiny TARDIS to point Clara in the right direction.
Clara:[makes a face] Please don't do that, that's just wrong.
Clara introduces herself as the Doctor and proceeds as such. The Doctor isn't in the least bit happy about this.
Even less so after Clara says that "she" probably picked the name because it made her sound important.
Rigsy: (to Clara) So, what you a doctor of? The Doctor: (from inside the TARDIS) Of lies.
The sight of a sledgehammer emerging from Clara's handbag.
Rigsy:It'sBigger on the Inside! The Doctor: You know, I don't think that statement has ever been true-er.
The Doctor winds up on the railroad tracks inside a tiny TARDIS, and a train's rapidly approaching. Solution? The Doctor wiggles his fingers out and fingerwalks himself over to the side, looking for all the world like a Gallifreyan Thing.
In the Hope Spot he does a Happy Dance! Singing the Addams Family theme, no less.
The Doctor's nicknames for Rigsy include "Local Knowledge" and "Fluorescent Pudding Brain".
When he starts rambling about a hypothetical 2-dimensional universe, the Doctor says it couldn't be proven because "nobody could go and visit without one heck of a diet!"
Maebh knocks on the TARDIS as the Doctor pops his head out.
Maebh: I'm lost, can you help me? The Doctor:[waves in a direction] It's that way. [he closes the TARDIS door, only to open it again and stare at the forest] Are those trees?
Maebh talks about being with Clara and Danny.
The Doctor: Ms. Oswald? Pale, dark hair, surprisingly round face? Maebh: Everyone says she's in love with Mr. Pink. The Doctor: The PE teacher. Maebh: Maths. I like Mr. Pink. The Doctor: Mr. Pink was looking after you? That explains why you got lost.
The Doctor waving the kids away from the TARDIS console.
The Doctor: That's an antique! Haven't any of you noticed, "oh, it's bigger on the inside"? Ruby: There wasn't a forest, now there is a forest. Nothing surprises us anymore.
The Doctor and Ruby's mutual Freak Out when they both realize Maebh has gone missing, again.
When Clara finds Maebh, she's standing on the other side of an iron fence with wolves following her. Clara starts trying to scramble over the fence to get to her, Maebh, on the other hand, takes three steps to the right and goes through the gate.
After he finally realizes the forest's purpose:
The Doctor: ...I am Doctor IDIOT!
The Doctor gives an As You Know to the kids, Clara, and Danny, all sitting like schoolchildren on the steps of the TARDIS, to explain that a solar flare is coming to wipe out all life on their planet... only for the kids to stare at him in mute horror.
The Doctor: I assumed your teachers would have mentioned this at some point. Clara: I thought it would spoil an otherwise... pleasant trip!
As the Doctor and Clara prepare to observe the incoming solar flare:
The Doctor: ...I really hope I'm right. Wouldn't that be embarrassing?
The short story Dismemberment makes Danny's death a little funnier - Missy ran him over with a Milk Float!
Missy trolling the Doctor by pretending to be an android and snogging the ever loving crap out of him, tongues and all, then asking them if they want her to turn down her intimacy settings.
The poor Doctor's face once she's let him go. Like a man who's gone hang-gliding over Hell. Also, his truly horrified muttering of "Is it over now?"
Along with Clara staring, then turning away with a "HUH" look on her face.
Bonus points when The Reveal kicks in, and the shippers rejoice.
More bonus points for her offering to do the same thing to Clara before asking if they wanted her to adjust her "intimacy settings".
And there's even more gold to be mined:
The Doctor: You're very... realistic. Clara: Tongues? The Doctor:Shut up.
This sequence about Missy's heart(s):
The Doctor: Who maintains your heart? Missy: My heart is maintained by the Doctor. The Doctor:Doctor who?
Missy:[beat] Doctor CHANG!!
And the best part about Missy snogging the Doctor is the fact that when she kissed his nose, that was improvised!Michelle Gomez just saw Peter Capaldi's big nose sticking out and decided to give it some much needed attention. (Another improvisation by Gomez — holding Clara's hand as she snogged the Doctor — didn't make the final cut.)
The Doctor gets a little irritated with Dr Chang's waffling.
Dr Chang: If you'd rather not hear these words... there's still... Doctor: Can you just hurry up please or I'll hit you with my shoe.
Chris Addison as the Administrator, i.e. the person running the afterlife. His delivery of every single line is precision-guided pork. You don't need to be bombastic or scenery-chewing, just make really ill timed comments.
Missy: I turned the lift off, though. The Doctor: I presume you have stairs. Missy: Well, I'm not a Dalek.
The Reveal itself:
When the Doctor realises Missy is a Time Lady, both he and the viewer are trying to work out who it is. The Rani? Jenny? Romana?? His mother?! Susan!?!... eww. No, it turns out to be a gender flipped Master!
Just before the reveal, the Doctor runs into a crowd of people, yelling at them to all run away as fast as they can, as Cybermen begin to pour out of the cathedral. He encounters Missy, sitting on some nearby steps, quite unimpressed.
Missy: Oh, sorry, everyone! Another ranting Scotsman in the street. I had no idea there was a match on.
Just before the reveal, when the Doctor hasn't kept up and worked out who she us, Missy puts on a face that isn't anger or boredom, just sheer frustration; you can see her mentally reminding herself that the Doctor is, in fact, an idiot.
After Kate introduces herself and tells the Cybermen that they're surrounded, the Cybermen try to intimidate her by saying that their weaponry will not be effective against them. Kate proceeds to drop an old Cyberhead on the ground in front of them, saying they "left it behind". The Cyberman who was speaking does the unemotional equivalent of a double-take.
After Kate brags to the Cybermen that the Doctor is on UNIT's payroll, he immediately proceeds to ask how much he is paid.
Osgood mentions that she already figured out that Missy is the Master regenerated into a female form; UNIT has files on all the ex-Prime Ministers. She also mentions that the man who mind-controlled his way into office, enslaved the entire human race for genocidal galactic conquest using their cyborg children from the future, and at one point overwrote every living human on the planet into a clone of himself (though technically he was no longer in office at the time), wasn't the worst Prime Minister they ever had.
As the Doctor is falling out of the plane to his death, Missy is annoyed that he'll just splat against the ground, calling it boring. When he pulls out the TARDIS key and calls the TARDIS to him, her assistant is suitably impressed...
Becomes even more funny when you remember the Master had previously killed the Doctor by making "him go splat" in "Logopolis". No wonder she's bored of it — she's done it before and that's no fun!
Missy's little eyeroll when Danny starts his epic speech. And her completely bored expression as her plans are being torn down to pieces. You can tell she's just thinking "Dammit, I hate it when I lose this way."
Alternatively "Please tell me he's going to finish soon."
The offended scoff she makes when Danny offhandedly mentions her master plan as "the whim of a lunatic" is just icing on the cake.
Missy tells the Cybermen to "kill some Belgians" as "they're not even French". Apparently, all Time Lords find Belgium to be an annoying little speck.
Kate Stewart explains that the world has an invasion policy, and that in times of despair one person may be elected President of Earth.
The Doctor: Oh for crying out loud, that's your answer to everything, isn't it? Elect an idiot! Kate:If you say so, Mister President.
The episode's credits cut off abruptly after a few seconds to the Doctor looking very annoyed while somebody knocks on the door four times, complaining about how he left things with Clara. Said somebody then opens the TARDIS, causing the Doctor to just stand up and stare in disbelief. It's Santa Claus. Asking him what he wants for Christmas. Doubles as Mood Whiplash, like the endings to "Doomsday" and "Last of the Time Lords". Moffat has learned a few tricks from Russell T. Davies.
She's also wearing shoes like Ten's and a leather coat like War's, meaning she's cheerfully emulating all three of the Doctors she encountered in "The Day of the Doctor".
There's something darkly hilarious about Missy urging Osgood to keep the former's intent to murder Osgood a secret from the guards as part of her "secret girl plan".
Also her little tune while she's being held by UNIT.
Missy: Hey Missy you're so fine, you're so fine you blow my mind hey Missy! Hey Missy!
After Clara claims to be the Doctor in the Cold Open, the opening titles feature Clara's eyes instead of the Doctor's.
And Jenna Coleman gets top billing instead of Peter Capaldi.
The Doctor loudly proclaiming in his speech that he's not an officer, he's not a good guy, he's not a bad guy, he is... an idiot! The epic music even stops momentarily.
Once again, the Brigadier gets to one shot the Master. She's probably glad it's not a punch this time...
Missy has the Doctor's phone number as she gave it to Clara. This implies one of three things — Missy has been stalking the Doctor, the Doctor hasn't changed his phone number in more years than he's willing to admit, or, more likely, both of the above.
Even funnier? Missy was working in a shop. Just how our favourite deranged sociopath passed that interview and how she actually performed in that job, one can only wonder! note It is possible she owned the shop, or at least she took it over.
Missy explains who she is and the Doctor still hasn't worked it out; Missy just rolls her eyes and gives an annoyed "Ugh, please try to keep up!" to him.
After giving him control of the Cybermen, Missy asks the Doctor to crack a smile because she wants to see if it will cause his eyebrows to fall off.
The sheer Mood Whiplash of the Bittersweet Ending with a lot of personal trauma from both Clara and the Doctor... which is then followed up by the sudden appearance of none other than Santa Claus himself in the TARDIS!
One of the researchers compares the Dream Crabs to facehuggers.
The Doctor: There's a horror movie called Alien? That's really offensive. No wonder everyone keeps invading you.
The Doctor is adamant about not holding hands. He'll only hold Clara's.
Santa states the best present he can give is a tangerine. Everybody replies that nobody likes them.
Shona in general, being a bit Cloudcuckoolander — as in not just listening to music, (Slade's "Merry Xmas Everybody"), to distract herself from a life-threatening situation, but then upgrading to head-bopping, then dancing, then jamming, then rocking out and thenfull-on breakdancing. That's right, she pulled a Marty McFly — the act of forgetting about a critical situation at hand because The Power of Rock has compelled you and making a complete buffoon of yourself through highly embarrassing dance moves.
Even funnier, it was actually working — the whole point being to avoid thinking about the hazard — to the amazement of her colleagues ... at least, until Clara and the Doctor broke her concentration.
Then Wolf scolds Ian for his choice of armament, because at least his own equally-useless "weapon" looks scary.
Santa scoffs at the idea of one small team capable of delivering presents to millions of houses in the middle of the night, pointing out that it is completely impossible for him to do that all by himself. That's why he has a second sleigh.
Really, Santa's trolling in general, considering all of his explanations are Voodoo Shark material. Like the one for the flying reindeer:
Santa: Course they can't fly. It's scientifically impossible. That's why I feed mine magic carrots.
Or how he manages to fit so many presents into the sleigh: It's Bigger on the Inside.
Capped by the smug look on the Doctor's face collapsing as he realises that he's go absolutely no comeback for that one.
One of the ways this special can be seen is as an episode-long pissing contest between the Doctor and Santa. The Doctor gets particularly incensed by Santa claiming the Mr. Exposition role.
The Doctor: No, no, no no no, line in the sand! Santa Claus does not do the scientific explanation! Santa: Alright. As the Doctor might say, "Ooh, it's all a bit dreamy-weamy!"
Doubles as a bit of Self-Deprecation, since the episode is written by Moffat, the guy who invented "wibbly-wobbly timey-wimey."
Shona describes Twelve and Clara as "a skeleton man and a girl in a nightie!"
that was played before the episode started which featured Strax explaining the history of the Doctor in the style of a status update; when he reaches Nine he declares he was "all ears" and almost dies laughing.