Funny / Dishonored 2

Corvo

• When playing as Corvo, he'll remark as he eats some of the food laying around that "If we make it through this, I'm going to find a Blood Ox, cook it, and eat the whole thing by myself." Must be sick of scrounging.
• While Emily regards finding her father's childhood home as a chance to explore her paternal roots... Corvo is exasperated and bemused that they turned it into a historical site, complete with commemorative plaque.

Emily

• When trying to comfort Wyman after the coup, Emily assures them that she is fully capable of handling the situation by pointing out that she once attended a Watch Officer's report without pants and kept a straight face throughout. If she could handle that, then restoring herself to power is a cinch.
• The Domino ability allows you to bind the fates of two people to each other. Up to four with upgrades. This is arguably the most powerful ability in the game, and it opens countless opportunities to feast on a single guard's stupidity.
• Far Reach can be upgraded to allow Emily to yank around objects and enemies, which can lead to some borderline slapstick eliminations. And if you want to get really crazy with it, it can be paired with the above-mentioned domino ability, meaning you can have up to 4 people all flying around the room together.

The Outsider

• The hilarious line of greeting when the Outsider and Corvo reunite.
  Corvo: You might as well show yourself.
  The Outsider: (appears out of thin air) Corvo, old friend! Do I even need to say it? You've lost another Empress!
  • Unlike the first game, where the Outsider just floats off the ground with his arms folded, the Outsider here moves and makes gestures. On seeing Corvo, the Outsider literally waves his hand as if seeing an old acquaintance.

Delilah

• In a moment of hilarious pettiness, Delilah tosses Emily's doll, Miss Pilsen into the saferoom's toilet. Both Emily and Corvo can only mutter 'Whoa,' in bafflement.
• She claims that she learned diction from the best tutors in the Isles ...while hiding in a closet.
• Delilah is normally eloquent and poetic in her lines, but there's no way she could say "WORSHIP ME!" without succumbing to Narm.
  • Also at the beginning, when she petrifies Corvo or Emily, the way she says "I will cast you in cold marble!" can leave you giggling on the floor.
• If playing as Emily, using the heart containing Deliah's spirit on the petrified Corvo statue will make her say a comment that is essentially thirsting after Corvo, which she ends off with a smug "...but you don't want to hear that, do you, girl?". One can only imagine Emily's facial expression at the time.
• The final battle with Delilah is frustratingly hard due to her clones and marble powers…unless you realise that she’s atop the cliff behind you. Simply climb up the cliff face to the right, sneak upon the unsuspecting witch and kill her. Bonus points if you grapple her in a headlock, walk closer to the edge and shove her off the cliff to her death.

Jindosh

• It's possible to have Kirin Jindosh killed by one of his own clockwork soldiers. Accidentally.
  • You can also make sure he dies by having his own clockwork bridge come out from underneath him. He ragdolls the entire way down into the river below.
• Jindosh smoking his "pipe/thumb steampunk cybernetic" looks very much like sucking his thumb.
• You can, as a player, confront Jindosh without him ever noticing you were at his mansion, which simplifies the mission greatly. Many opted to pull the switch and listen as he makes comments throughout the building instead.
  • You can take your time facing him near his workshop and hear him getting exasperated because you're making him wait.
  • Though impressed by your abilities to take down his Clockwork Soldiers, he gets steadily pissed off the more you destroy them.
  • Throughout all this, a couple of his potential buyers, a pair of snooty nobles, will wonder just who exactly he's talking to. Basically, everyone will hear him getting more and more irritated as you progress through his mansion.
    • These nobles are found in a room that can be sent up or down. You can pull the lever again and again and hear them go from, "This is amazing!" to "...I think I'm going to be sick!"
  • He'll also Break the Fourth Wall and echo a sentiment everyone who played the mansion without a walkthrough feels:
  Jindosh: (after the listening to you changing the rooms' layout for the umpteenth time) ...You have no idea what you're doing, do you?
  • If you break either of his elevators, he dryly comments that he's adding it to the list of all his possessions you've destroyed.
  • In his bedroom, you can find a somewhat obscure hiding place where he keeps some ingots and other valuables. If you take them, he'll comment that he's adding "petty theft" to your list of infractions.
    • In that same hiding spot, you'll find that he's framed his expulsion letter from the university he attended.
• The best part is Jindosh's special assassination animation. It begins with a swift kick in the nuts. He's the only target in the whole series that gets this 'pleasure'.
• This video montage where a player finds 80 different ways to kill Kirin Jindosh, all set to the Blue Danube Waltz.
  • Some of these deaths include: The aforementioned Groin Attack, placing a springrazor so that Jindosh dies right after he acknowledges your existence, using Domino and Far Reach to push Jindosh off a railing or into a wall, using Far Reach to lob a grenade or a torso with a springrazor at Jindosh, shooting Jindosh with dozens of bullets or bolts with Bend Time activated, and opening a door to reveal yourself, suddenly closing it, and then shooting Jindosh through the door.
  • The very end of the video shows Jindosh mid-air just shortly after one of the final kills.
  • Using a grenade to burst the laboratory's door, at first he asks his guard if it was one of his clockwork soldier and then indignantly declares how subtle you are.

Meagan and Sokolov

• Any time Meagan complains about Sokolov. Despite (or because of?) their very heartwarming relationship, Meagan can be exasperated by some of Sokolov's antics, ranging from his failures at fixing some of the problems onboard the Dreadful Wale to 'clumsily tripping' and unleashing Bloodflies on the ship to using hard-to-get materials for his paintings rather than what she bought them for. Or his snoring.
  • On low Chaos, before a "Crack In the Slab" Sokolov will leave either a stun mine or a springrazor mine for the protagonist, with a note explaining how he built it out of scrap parts found around the ship, before 'fessing up that he also used parts of the ship that were in use, just not critical. The last line is Sokolov politely requesting that Corvo/Emily avoid telling Meagan about this.

The Duke

• The Duke is a source of a lot of the game's Black Comedy with his selfishness, greed, and It's All About Me Moral Myopia Psychopathic Manchild traits.
• Despite being a terrible ruler, Duke Luca Abele has some of the funniest moments in the game. Aside from his passive-aggressive comments about Stilton in Low Chaos, he also has choice comments about his surroundings.
  • He whines about Overseers sermonizing him about his wine intake, then ranting loudly about eating vermin. Why would anybody eat rats, anyway?
  • He warns the gangs in the Dust District to evacuate or face imprisonment or death. But he holds a special hatred for the 'Eyeless'.
  • He complains about bad wine, saying that he knows when he's being served bad wine because it gave him hangovers. Good wine means he doesn't get one.
  • When announcing a job opening for a new Grand Inventor once you've dealt with Jindosh, he demands that aside from weapons and/or alchemical wonders, that they'd be someone who can cure his headaches.
  • When commenting on the impractical quotas he imposes on the miners for silver, he makes a rousing speech about how they're going to war for their rightful Empress, Delilah, and that he's willing to sacrifice all his subjects' lives to ensure she remains on the throne! Not his, mind you. Everyone else's.
• Duke Luca Abele has a truly great line during Delilah's summoning.
  Duke Luca Abele: By the stars, this is more exciting than any orgy I've ever attended!
• If you rescue Aramis Stilton, in the new timeline, a PA announcement can be heard in the Dust district, where Luca Abele explains that Aramis is forcing him to hand out awards for work safety to the miners. The duke's tone makes it clear he's being browbeaten into this, and eventually he breaks into passive aggressively lamenting how he'd rather be rewarding productivity and how the safety measures are seriously cutting into the income he's getting from the mines.
• The Duke's self-portrait◊.
  • You can also hear the body-double complain that the Duke often takes credit for paintings he made, which are better.
    • Comes back as a Brick Joke in the DLC, Death Of The Outsider, as a side mission for an art collector. There's even a note citing that yes, the Duke was really that bad, and implicated, heavily, that it's artistically worthless if not for who had painted it.
• How do you eliminate Luca Abele, the corrupt duke of Serkonos, without killing him? Convince his body double, who's actually a fairly decent fellow, to take his place. His first action is to accuse the real duke of being the body double and a lunatic.
  • As an added bonus, during the accusation, the Grand Guard slaps the real Duke after waking him up. This scene is strangely amusing, especially if the guards are not fooled, but are playing along.
• The creator of the 80 Ways To Kill Jindosh video has discovered 100 Ways To Kill Duke Abele.
  • One of the clips shown in the montage ends with Emily saying "You're a disgrace to your country," but the clip ends before she finishes her last syllable.
• Another complaint of the Duke's body double is that no one would want to marry him because his job is "pretending to be an asshole".

Other NP Cs

• Sometimes you can eavesdrop a guard singing a very crude alphabet song:
  Guard: A, b, c, d, e and g, hay chi, j, k, elementally. Q arrest, you and v. Double v, x, wise and z. Now I got my a's and z's, tells me what you think of me.
• A lot of the guards dialogue can be quite funny:
  Guard: I hope I didn't forget to close my locker before I leave. Last time I did, someone left a hag-fish inside my pocket.
  Guard: Dear stomach, I have received your request and agree that dinnetime cannot come quickly enough. Unfortunately, we are still on duty.
• While most of Stilton's insane rambling isn't funny he does occasionally get some lines that have some humor to them.
  Stilton: Time is leaking, coming out of the walls! [beat] It's ruining the carpets.

Miscellaneous

• In the game, you can find the house of Doctor Galvani. He notes about being robbed in the previous game and has moved away from his old lab to a place nearer to Dunwall Tower with hopes that he won't be robbed again. You can do just that. Twice. At the last time, you'd get an achievement and a note about him Rage Quitting to Tyvia and calling you out.
  • Also, if you rob him for the second time, you'll find he's rigged his door with traps as a last 'fuck you' to his would-be thief.
  • Doubly funny if you're playing as Emily as Galvani's journal sings the praises of his fair empress unaware she is the accursed miscreant who robbed him.
• During the Royal Conservatory mission on low Chaos, you have the opportunity to see a bunch of Howlers setting up an ambush for the Overseers. It involves "Pirate Betty" menacing her victim in the least convincing way thinkable. It doesn't work.
  • Another time is in the Conservatory itself. The witches, despite being walking Nightmare Fuel, have their moments. A few of them can be found mocking Breanna's poetic devotion to Delilah while one does an impression of Delilah monologuing, complete with some pretty spot-on extravagant poses. Another comments on the various failures of one witch to conjure up a Blood Briar or a Grave Hound. Said failure involved a lot of bones and misplaced snouts.
• Apparently the manufacturer of the safes you find throughout the game is completely inept at securing his own property. Not only does he keep forgetting every three digit code he tries to secure his shop and his safe with, but when you break into his apartment, his safe's code is 123. And you can find it from a picture of the safe with the code entered on it in the exact same room.
• You can, as irony, unleash a swarm of rats upon unsuspecting Overseers while listening to another preaching about how eating rats is bad for you.
• When you first speak with Hypatia, she's dissecting a bloodfly. She absentmindedly hands you one of its internal organs, which your character reluctantly takes, looks at, and discards.
• On a Meta side, there's something incredibly frustrating when you're spotted by civilians when carrying a body, especially during a Shadow Run. But it's more egregious in the very first mission. One can't help but be exasperated by the fact that civilians are panicking over the sight of you lifting someone when the streets are literally littered with corpses. One civilian was even sitting on steps, with two corpses nearby, whining about the season being ruined, but as soon as they spot the player with a body, they'd scream in horror.
• The fact that guards can trip and fall while chasing you down a flight of stairs, causing them to go flying down.
• It is entirely possible to skip the entire final confrontation with Delilah. After all the terror and dread caused by Delilah's rule, after her successful coup grinding a barely-recovered Dunwall into a bloody pulp beneath her heel, after gathering so much ungodly occult power that the Outsider himself trembles...there's just something deeply amusing about looking at her obvious decoy, going 'nah,' scrambling around up the rocks to the right, and just casually choking her out.
• The fact the game has a (possibly unintentional) Pun-Based Title. After all, this time, Emily was dishonoured... too.
• Part of what makes Paolo such a dangerous man is the charm he carries, which, by transforming him into a swarm of white rats, lets him survive assassination attempts unscathed. However, the Gutter Feast bone charm lets you eat white rats. Dinner time!
• During the Royal Conservatory mission, you can visit the hideout of a Vice Overseer, which is behind a blocked door. It can be easily accessed by slashing the door, which can cause the Overseer inside to freak out, throw a fragmentation grenade at the still-closed door, and move towards it, thus committing suicide and blowing the door open for you without damaging a pacifist run.
• In the first mission, it's possible for a glitch to occur in which the door to the room which Corvo/Emily are locked in is left wide open.
• In the final mission, there's an unsettling bit where the Brigmore Lullaby plays over the city's loudspeaker. It's creepy at first, but if you get through the level and reach the source before the song is over, it turns out to be a witch singing alone, who will lightly clap to herself upon finishing the song.
  • On a more morbid note, it's possible for you to hear her sing once and never again. Players can go to the place of the singer and find that due to some wonky AI path finding she had walked herself into an open fire and burned to death.
• Similar to above, due to the wonky hitboxes all throughout the game, it can cause all kinds of wacky fun when guards are alerted when in close proximity to flammable bottles. Nothing says an elite guard force like being startled at the slightest noise while eating lunch with your buddy, jumping from the table causing an invisible collision with the alcohol bottles, setting you and your buddy on fire, killing you both.
  • And nothing ruins a pacifist run quite like nailing a guard with a sleep dart, only for him to fall on a flammable bottle, lighting him up and burning him to cinders even after the corpse falls into the nearby pool; Or similarly, a recently darted mook stumbling into a canister of whale oil, blowing it up, sending their now-lifeless corpse flying into the heavens, and alerting every guard in earshot...