Funny / Diary of a Mad Black Woman

• Immediately following Madea's hearing is "The People of Atlanta vs. Robert Brown".
  Judge Mablean Ephriam: What is this, Repeat Offender Day?
  Whitney Houston (off-screen): Bobby! Bobby I love you!
  Judge Mablean Ephriam: Sit down, Miss Houston!
• Madea ransacking Charles' house with a chainsaw while maniacally laughing.
  Madea (to Helen): Half of everything belongs to you! Do you want this half, or do you want this half?!
  • The shot of them sitting in the jail cell, covered in feathers from Madea cutting the couch and its pillows in half. Bonus points that the camera pans back to the house to show us all the things she cut in half, and she managed to cut the goddamn grand piano in half too.
• "I know 'Whoop Your Ass!'" and "Call da po-po, ho!"
• Joe's whole Grumpy Old Man persona throughout the film and his interactions with his sister.
  Joe: What you lookin' at?! You can't stay here! This ain't Roots (1977)! There ain't enough room! Get out! Get—Get. Out.
  • And an earlier reference to Roots when Helen first came to stay:
  Joe: (Shouting from inside the house) I had enough of these people movin' in! Imma have to put my foot down—!
  Madea: (Also shouting from inside the house) Kunta Kinte put his foot down and it got chopped off! Now shut the hell up and go back to bed!
  • The next morning, while Joe is ogling a sleeping Helen:
  Joe: Harpo. Harpo, who this here?
  Madea: Joe, get in there and take yo' medicine: you know you crazy as hell without it.
  Joe: I say hell, no.
  (Madea now pulls out a gun from her purse and fires it in the air, waking Helen and alarming Joe, who scurries to the bathroom while clutching his pants.)
  Joe: Dammit! Look it what you done made me do!
• Madea trying to get the ankle restraint off of her foot...with some damn butter. Her brother Joe then suggests she chew her foot off and asks if she wants some hot sauce first.