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In all three games
- In certain endings where you side with Dave (The Soapy ending in DSaF 1 and the Radical ending in DSaF 2), he'll refer to you as "kiddie strangler v2".
- Both games have a Soapy ending, which involves Old Sport going to prison, with the caption "Don't drop it :)"
- When you side with Dave, you destroy Freddy's and run off to Vegas. It's less funny in the second game, ESPECIALLY in the Pure Evil ending.
- The smaller quirks of the characters throughout the series that always rear their heads without comment are bound to get a chuckle. Old Sport's insistence on exiting through windows, Dave repeatedly referring to throwing objects around as having fucked them, the Phone Guy(s) refusing to use "hell" even in private despite letting loose other profanities without much issue. It can add up over the course of the series into the cherries on top of other prolific moments.
Dayshift at Freddy's 1
- While performing as Cool Cat, you can tell some jokes. One of the jokes available is about lemons and upon picking this one, the game simply tells you that there are no lemon jokes. One response is "Boy, that sure is SOUR" and upon saying this, the game sends you back to the title screen so you can "think about your actions".
- In the Springlocks ending, Old Sport attempts to do a flip in the springlock suit when confronted by the police. It ends just as you'd expect it to.Cop: What the fuck.
- Just the fact that one of your springlock suits is one of Cool Cat.
- The sting operation Phone Guy sets up involves putting a latex baby mask on a midget and passing it off as a baby. Old Sport sees right through this.
- In the stuffed ending, you're confronted by the animatronics after talking to Purple Guy, and try to run away to the saferoom. Only problem is that you don't have a crowbar. Your only other option is to get your brains scooped out by Freddy.
- Just the ending screen; the game over screen from Five Nights at Freddy's, but with an arrow pointing to Freddy saying "dat you".
- Breadbear, when released in some of the endings.Breadbear: I AM BREADBEAR
Breadbear: I DEMAND THE FLESH OF VIRGINS- Similarly, when Farfour the Rat is released.Farfour: I AM FARFOUR
Farfour: I WILL LIBERATE FREDDY FAZBENDER'S PIZZA!
Farfour: I WILL DRIVE OUT THE MONGREL DOGS OF THE EMPIRE! A.K.A: Phone Guy
Farfour: I WILL KILL YOU ALL, I AM FARFOUR
- Similarly, when Farfour the Rat is released.
- When running away from Freddy's with Dave in the Gnarly ending, Phone Guy says this when you call him out for framing you:Phone Guy: All I wanted to do was frame you to save my own ass! Was that so wrong?!
- In the Crafty Ending, Phone Guy frames you, then proceeds to reveal that he's also a "kiddie strangler". Dave then pops in and reveals you and him knew about the operation (which makes Phone Guy fell less guilty for framing you), and unleashes Breadbear. After Breadbear is subdued, you and Phone Guy both pin the blame on Dave and get him arrested. The real kicker is what he says afterwards.
- This is made funnier by Dave's text-to-speech voice stressing the "men" in "police-men".
- The Bad and Mediocre endings, where you are killed by either Breadbear or Farfour, respectively.
- The flashback showcasing a Noodle Incident mentioned during the starting tour involving Foxy being thrown into the Grand Canyon. It is... A far less complicated situation than it sounds, as it turns out. Dave just scooped up Foxy one day and tossed him in the Grand Canyon in a sudden (but unsurprising) manic fit.
Dayshift at Freddy's 2
- You can use the office computer to browse the FNAF subreddit. To put it simply, you make a bunch of posts that consist of awful grammar and general stupidity (such as claiming that "your uncle works at Scott Cawthorn" that end up getting incredibly negative replies (two of which include Scott Cawthon AND DirectDoggo himself!).
- Eventually, you end up being such a nuisance to everyone that invaderzz (a moderator for the FNAF subreddit) ends up deleting Reddit in its entirety. The game's only response is "Oh, come on! That was a little harsh, wasn't it?"
- Speaking of DirectDoggo, you can use the computer to leave comments on the Dayshift at Freddy's 2 page. They too consist of the same quality as the Reddit posts, with DirectDoggo getting more annoyed with every post you make. Eventually, the man (or rather doggo) himself appears and claims that your comments have turned him into an alcoholic doggo and begs you to finally stop. If you decide not to, he gives you an instant game-over.
- Dave even replies to one of your comments.
- What makes the comments funnier is the game's obliviousness to the quality of them and DD's annoyance with you. It takes until the last comment that the game realizes the latter.
- The Game Over screen.
- Starting from day 2, you're able to make pizzas with Ronaldo. When he asks what bread you want to use, you're able to choose your hand. He rejects this at first, but he caves in when you start screeching. After stacking the ingredients, he realizes that rather than making a pizza, they just stacked ingredients on your hand. After Ronaldo asks if they can try again, you can respond by "eating" your hand. Upon doing so, Ronaldo literally turns red and calmly asks you to leave him alone. You can try to use your hand again as a base, but Ronaldo's response is simply "NOOOO. No more hand!".
- If you're doing Phone Guy's mission, this (paraphrased) exchange can happen.Phone Guy: You have permission to do anything you want, within reason.
Old Sport: Can I please kick Balloon Boy?note
Phone Guy: ...fine...
(Player goes to kick Balloon Boy) - Balloon Boy only has two lines: "HELLO" and "[SHIT-EATING LAUGH]". After Tuesday, the voice clips change to a slowed-down, deeper version and "[SHIT-EATING LAUGH]" becomes "[SOUL-POSSESSED LAUGH]". When you SAVE him...Balloon Boy: [SOUL-RELEASING LAUGH]
- Friday on Purple Guy's route gives you this exchange after Jimbo's springlock failure.Phone Guy: Calm down, everyone! Jimbo just had a bit of a fall, he'll be perfectly fine-
Jimbo (loudly): JIMBO WILL NOT BE FINE, LADS! - If you ask Phone Guy "Are the rumors true?" at the beginning, he doesn't know that you're referring to the events of the first game, and, well...Phone Guy: No! Nothing could be further from the truth!
Phone Guy: F-FREDBEAR WASN'T EVEN IN RENO ON JUNE 24th! THAT IS PROPAGANDA SPREAD BY THOSE CANDY'S BURGERS AND CHIPS ASSH-! - What happens if you attempt to yiff Foxy.Foxy: Oh yeah! Oh yeah! Oh yes! Oh yeah! Harder, father! Oh yeah! Oh yes! Spank me harder, daddy! Oh yes!
Phone Guy: Hey, I heard banging in here, what's all the nois—
Foxy: (Comes in wearing a bikini, lipstick, and carrying a dildo) YAAARRRR HAR HAR!
Phone Guy: (Turns towards you angrily)
You: I Can Explain/…I may have yiffed the Fox...
Phone Guy: Get out.
Game Over Screen: Notice of termination, reason: YOU SICK FUCK - You can take a piss in this game. That's it... except for the fact that the pissing session apparently took 15 minutes to do.
- Taking a piss while still wearing your suit triggers the spring locks and maims Old Sport to death. Phone Guy is so disappointed at how you died that he says that you don't even deserve to die in the saferoom (while also quietly begging you not to sue).
Dayshift at Freddy's 3
- Immediately, you get a choice of five names for Old Sport's new location to set the mood of your journey into management:
- "Freddy Fazbender's Pizza", a standard but reliable choice.
- "Uncle Jack's Family Diner", a nonstandard but still catchy name.
- "Freddo's Vile Pepperonerie", a distressing but unfortunately apt choice.
- "Freddy's House of Pleasure", a name that shows where your priorities lie.
- "bear." Yes, the period is part of the name. Dave calls you out on refusing to put any effort into it later.
- You then get to choose the location's mascot from the usual suspects of Freddy, Bonnie, Chica, Foxy, and Fredbear. The issue is that Dave threw in Fredbear as a bonus against corporate's wishes, because the photo was taken right as Fredbear bit into someone's head.
- Most of Dave’s lines in The Flipside.
- In the neutral ending, Old Sport, sick of Davetrap's BS, proceeds to give him such a long-ass "Reason You Suck" Speech (fully-voiced mind you) that Davetrap opens up his mouth to show his corpse in tears.
- Then 57 years later, Old Sport, on his death bed, meets the Phone Guy working under him (who has a beard as part of a gag). When they ask him if they have any regrets, Sport just says "Fuck that" and dies. Even better if you have the orange Phone Guy, whom Sport just takes one look at him and dies on the spot.
- Whenever you inspect the animatronic (or doggo) you put on-stage, you get the option to wink at them. Without fail, every single one of them gives a cheeky wink back.
- You once again get the chance to yiff the fox. And since you're the owner of the franchise you don't get fired for it... But your reputation with customers tanks severely.
- Speaking of, one of the highest-priced rooms you can add is a strip club area staffed by a performer in a Foxy costume wearing lingerie. When you put out a help wanted ad for the position, someone responds immediately and accepts payment by getting to wear the suit off duty. You also get the option at any given time to regret this decision immediately and fire him.
- When sightings of Davetrap become increasingly common around your Freddy's, Old Sport is given the task of trying to describe his history with him to the Phone Guy. He eventually settles on asking Phone Guy to picture him as if your clingy ex was a purple version of the Roswell alien. When Phoney says he'd rather not, Old Sport then commands him to, and we get a full screen shot of a purple alien laying on a coroner table.
- A hilarious subversion of The Power of Love just before the final battle.Dave: There is no greater force than righteous anger.
Dee: Except maybe love.
Dave: Yeah well, you're a sock puppet, [Steve and Peter] are phones, and me and sportsy are zombies. Let's put the "love" thing aside, and focus on the whole "righteous anger" idea for now. - The bad ending route has a moment where Davetrap confides in you about how the animatronics stuff endoskeletons into people using every available orifice, and uses his own condition as a jumping off point for jokes riddled with Too Much Information. Even being the soulless freak that Old Sport is can't intimidate Davetrap into silence when it comes to the subject.
