The entire series, really. Each comic is bound to have at least one of these.
- The party reaches the Doors of Durin, the West-gate of Moria
and Gandalf reads the inscription ("Speak Friend and Enter"). Instead of attempting to solve the riddle, the party tries all manner of ways to get past the door, such as forcing it open, burning it, and building a battering ram. Eventually the DM gets fed up:Gandalf: Oh for crying out loud! The password is mellon, you lunatics! - Boromir, completely fed up with the railroading, decides to die and leave the game and gives this gem:Boromir: This is the first time in the whole campaign I've felt really free to make my own choices. I kinda like it.DM: But you're dead!Boromir: And you can't force me to do anything!DM: And decomposing!Boromir: Of my own free will!
- Gimli vs. diplomacy:Gimli: Ahem...TELL ME YOUR NAME, HORSE-F—
Aragorn: GIMLI!
Gimli: And I'll tell ye mine.
Aragorn: What are you doing, man?!
Gimli: Heh. Whoops. I rolled a 1 on my diplomacy check. - This wonderful bit of snark:DM: Near the smoking pile of orc bodies, you find a small set of tracks...Legolas: Tracks?Aragorn: Railroad tracks, I'm sure.
- When the party arrives at Edoras and are asked to disarm before meeting King Theoden, the players throw the scene in disarray by telling Gandalf to go first. Of course, he pulls the "walking stick" excuse, leading to this:Gimli: This be no axe lad. It's a dwarven walking stick with a really big headpiece. We like 'em heavy. And sharp.
Aragorn: Metal walking stick. I've got a bad back.
Legolas: Walking stick. And a quiver of little walking sticks. - "Remember the nasty old guy who dressed in black? Named Wormtongue? Brace yourself for a shock, laddie: he was a spy."
- Gimli's life hinges on whether an orc succeeded or failed on its attack roll, but unfortunately the die fell behind the computer, making it impossible to tell what it landed on, and equally impossible to move the computer without shifting the die.Gimli: So let me see if I follow this: I am either alive or dead, based on the state of a die which we cannot observe without altering. Do I now exist in both states at once? Am I both living and dead? (eyes glowing red and skin turning pallid) Have I become some sort of UNCERTAINTY LICH?
- The players guessing what Ents look like:Aragorn: Oblivion had Dryads in it.
Gimli: They were called Spriggans, actually.
Aragorn: Whatever you call them. They're like sexy tree ladies.
Legolas: Sexy? I thought they had leaves for hair. And bark skin.
Aragorn: Yeah, but they're ALL chicks. NAKED Chicks. Leafy, naked tree chicks.
Gimli: Ye need help lad. Ye really do. Keep this up and you'll end up with Dutch Elm Disease.
DM: You enter through the ruined gate and find yourselves face-to-face with Treebeard the Ent.
Treebeard: (in all his elderly, gnarly, booming glory) hoom hoom welcome to Isengard
Gimli: Words fail me.
Aragorn: Okay I admit... that is somewhat less sexy than I'd hoped. - A Minor Omission: When the DM realizes Aragorn hasn't had Anduril since Rivendell (as in the books)Aragorn: That never happened, man. Sounds like you forgot.DM: You mean I didn't?... OH CRAP!DM: Okay, suddenly Lord Elrond shows up at your camp.Elrond: (with a completely serious face) Hi.DM: He gives you the sword.Elrond: Here is the sword. And keep your hands off my daughter.DM: Then he leaves. Okay, so now you wield Anduril.Aragorn: SWEET SMOKING CONAN! Will you look at the stats on this sword! I was supposed to have this all along?
- The trap in the Paths of the Dead:DM: The walls crack open, and thousands of skulls are unleashed!
Gimli: I'll bet this was a robust culture. Imagine their funerals. "Oops. Granny's dead, let's lop off her head and chuck it into the big bin to be dropped on adventurers."
DM: The skulls continue to pour in, filling the room and threatening to crush your nitpicking, over-analyzing characters. - Aragorn's brilliant military leadership.Soldier: You totally suck, Aragorn.
- Taking 'I hate this campaign' to a whole new level
