Funny / DCeased

Sometimes you have to find humor, even in the bleakest moments, during the end of the world.

This is a Moments page. All Spoilers are Unmarked

Despite the hopelessness of the situation, there are some funny moments that can make you laugh.

DCeased

• After Cyborg is abducted by Darkseid, Batman reveals that he put a tracker on him just in case, much to the disgruntlement of the other heroes.
  The Flash: Wait, did you put trackers on the rest of us? Did you put a tracker on Superman?
  Batman: ...No.
  Green Arrow: Anyone else worried about that pause?
• Cyborg snarking his way through being held captive. Especially when Darkseid emerges from the shadows to ominously reveal he's the key to completing the Anti-Life Equation.
  Cyborg: Were you... were you just waiting in that corridor to make a dramatic entrance?
• Lex Luthor starts to proclaim himself the smartest man on Earth... then has to pause to confirm that Batman is dead first.
• Mister Miracle and Barda making a stand against some of the undead.
  Mister Miracle: We have to buy time for Booster Gold to save the world!
  Barda: What a ridiculous sentence.
• After killing Zombie Aquaman while he's standing on top of the Kraken attacking the Amazons, Green Arrow remembers Batman didn't have a contingency plan for him.
  Green Arrow: And Batman didn't think I could be dangerous. Just fired an arrow half a mile through raging winds into the brain of the undead king of the sea while he was controlling the damn Kraken. Fuck you, Batman.

DCeased: The Unkillables

• In The Unkillables #1, Vandal Savage tries to use the survival of a thought-to-be-extinct species of tree lobster as an analogy for his group of survivors. The Creeper, being the Creeper, starts treating it like a team name.
  The Creeper: Yes! We're tree lobsters!
  Vandal Savage: What I mean is, we're survivors.
  The Creeper: Too late! I've fully embraced your analogy. I made t-shirts... Also, pennants and caps. And I'm halfway through writing our theme song. I know we're technically super-villains, but do you think it's too much of a stretch to call us "mobsters"? It would really help the rhyming in the chorus.
  Slade: Not filling me with confidence.
• To make this even better, not only does the Creeper actually pull out said pennants and caps, but Solomon Grundy is wearing one of the Creeper's t-shirts throughout the entire scene.
  Solomon Grundy: Grundy is tree lobster.
• After Jason mounts the Joker's corpse on the front of the Batmobile:
  Jim Gordon: Seriously? This is pretty @#$%ed up.
  Jason: It's an apocalypse... don't judge me.
• Later, Jason, Cassandra, and Gordon arrive in an orphanage where a large group of children are holed up from the infected.
  Jason: It's all right. We're the good guys.
  Jim Gordon: Jason.
  Jason: Yeah?
  Jim Gordon: You want to remove the corpse of the psychotic clown from the hood of the car?
  Jason: Yeah.
• When Gordon is making introductions, he states that he's a cop, Cassandra is Batgirl... and that Jason is Robin. Jason is visibly annoyed by this, but Cassandra only smirks.
• Jason's epitaph for Bruce sums up their relationship in four words: Father, Mentor, Bastard, Batman.
• When the surviving heroes and villains work together to teach the children to survive and fight, it leads to a little girl complimenting Cheetah being a good teacher and a good kitty, stroking her head like a pet. Cheetah smiles at that, and then quickly threatens the entering Rose for seeing all that. Rose denies she did, happily.

DCeased: Hope at World's End

• Issue #5: That Anti-Life Kite-Man smashes against the windshield of the Invisible Jet trying to attack the young heroes, and after a Beat moment Jon, Damian and Cassie can't help but laugh.
• Jon also can't help mentioning that the glass still has fragments of Kite-Man in it.
• Issue #9: Luthor reveals that he had activated some old Lexcorp satellite to find the blighted, then reassures everyone that they are low-tech enough the Anti-Life Equation can't affect it and these ones don't have lasers. Cue Green Arrow yelping "THESE ONES?!"
• Talia gets into an argument over the heroes' need to save everyone they can. Damian reacts like the kid whose parent is embarrassing them in front of their friends. It gets even worse when she starts arguing with Lois, with Jon calling it a mom fight and Stephanie happy she got to see it.
• Jon and Cassie are standing over Black Manta after rescuing him, with Cassie wearing leggings decorated with patterns of stars. The positioning looks like the stars are twirling up from the unconscious Manta's head.
• After Damian gives a She's Not My Girlfriend about Stephanie to Talia, and then the two ladies start a discussion about Talia reevaluating how she regards Steph, Damian is groaning to himself while his back is turned to them.

DCeased: Dead Planet

• Zatanna walks in on Constantine having just ripped the helmet of Doctor Fate, while working with Judas and Etrigan. John decides to just put the cards on the table.
  "I'm not going to lie. This is exactly as bad as it looks."
• Zatanna gives Constantine a magical boost.

  Zatanna: Uoy nac kcik s'nogirt ssa!

• Damian finds out that Jason and Rose got married in the years between The Unkillables and Dead Planet.

  Damian: Welcome to the family, Rose. You'll fit right in. Especially if you brought complex, unresolved father issues.

  Rose: I brought so many.

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