Funny / Cursed Halo

"Many people say about duct tape that, well, it's like the Force. It's got a light side and a dark side, and it binds the whole universe together."

Is this the most ambitious mod yet for Halo: Combat Evolved? Yes.

Is this the funniest mod in Halo history? Hell yeah.

UNMARKED SPOILERS INBOUND

General

• Any time the Reverse Throwing Pistol is used by an NPC. Some notable examples include:
  • Keyes handing it to the Chief in the first level, where it will shoot and fly out of his hands. It becomes a Running Gag throughout the mod that Keyes will shoot himself with it.
  • Pre Version 3 only: The traumatized Marine in '343 Guilty Spark' who will shoot himself before he says a line.
  • Before Version 3, nothing beats watching Keyes shoot himself during the introduction of the Flood, because he's scripted to shoot at them with said pistol in the original game. Hilariously, this causes the second to last level to be skipped (seemingly at first due to a bug), before becoming canonical to the mod due to Keyes being dead.
• Some of the tutorial tooltips and objective prompts are hilariously edited throughout the campaign.
  • The mission objective of the beginning of 'Truth and Reconciliation' is ">> Impregnate Covenant Battle Cruiser."
  • The prompt to switch on nightvision while scoped in is "Press "<assigned button> to make the world go green".
  • The notorious stages of Halo 1 such as 'Assault on the Control Room', 'The Library' and 'Two Betrayals' has chapter names lampshading how long and drawn-out they are.
• The D20 Grenade is an absolute abomination of either immense frustration, genuinely helpful, or a comedy gold mine.
  • Some of the effects includes random summoning of enemies or even allies. Sometimes a bunch of Hunters, a CovenantCraft squad, a squad of unarmed UNSC Navy officers, several platoons of Grunts or in one instance, several Captain Keyes', all wielding Reverse Throwing Pistols... who will promptly shoot themselves the moment enemies are nearby.
  • One of the effects is a spinning RGB Rat model from Halo 3 perpetually vibing to bass-heavy music. It also kills enemies who walk over it for some reason.
  • The various tool guns from Garry's Mod that the D20 grenades can spawn. Some are pretty useful (like Push and Pull), while others are more... interesting (like Thanos or Crash).
  • On first release, one of the more infamous rolls is a completely uncensored image of a naked Thanos. Later versions of the mod cover it up with a sad cowboy emoji, with the Twitch logo and 1984 above it.
• The upgrades are a sight to behold.
  • The first upgrade sees Sergeant Johnson giving you an upgrade that gives you the ability to spin kick and jump kick Bruce Lee-style, and Johnson can say this:
    • "KICK ME IN THE FACE CHIEF!!"
  • The second upgrade sees Master Chief taping a Magnum each to his ankles, allowing him to double jump and fire them as he's spin-kicking.
    • It's even funnier when Cortana describes them as Forerunner technology. Yes, somehow the UNSC forgot that Duct Tape even ever existed.
  • The third and final upgrade sees Master Chief strapping two Magnums to his helmet, as pictured above. Now you can spray that good 'ol .50 against Covie grunts, like a gangsta.

The Pillar of Autumn

• The shape of Installation 04 has now turned into some kind of dual-bent mobius strip. A truly cursed introduction to the campaign.
• Keyes hands over his pistol to Chief as per usual claiming he doesn't keep it loaded, while the pistol randomly fires and ricochets off of his hands. Keyes can even die from this randomly, triggering the bridge lockdown and invincible Marine squad to execute Chief as per vanilla game.

Halo

• The Banshees that appear from now on have flapping wings. They're even aptly named, "Flappy Banshees".
• After rescuing the first survivors, Foe Hammer informs you of additional lifepods approaching. The incoming Bumblebee lifepods now fly erratically all over the valley and one will even fly dangerously close to the central tower doing multiple loops around it. Later on, another pod flies through a tunnel crashing unceremoniously into a wall afterwards.

The Truth and Reconciliation

• Keyes will pick up a Gmod Remover gun after you rescue him. Yes, he can straight up accidentally delete you, which knowing Halo: CE AI, friendly fires is very probable. The chapter name even lampshades this:
  I gave Keyes a remover gun... Sorry!

The Silent Cartographer

• A totally-Normal Warthog flies alongside the two Pelicans during the opening cutscene. They later crash into a pillar just before the Chief and the Marines are dropped off onto the beach.

Assault on the Control Room

• Sgt. Johnson shows up with the Smallhog offering the Master Chief a ride. Johnson chats up a storm with Chief throughout the drive, dodging enemies with impeccable skill and finesse; all while not. Shutting. The hell. UP. When you do get to the first underground gate, he's still chatting with Chief, until he eventually realizes that the door can't open without the player's input and prompts them to do so. Getting back in, Johnson resumes his chat with Chief as they enter the indoor cavern, but takes a wrong turn off the missing bridge...
  Sgt. Johnson: Woooaah... where's the road?!? AAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRGHHHH!!!!!

343 Guilty Spark

The Library

• The loading screen is changed to a generic Minecraft library.
• Sgt. Johnson and a Hoglet spawns with you at the beginning, with Johnson following with you all the way while quipping one-liners non-stop thanks to the fantastic voice-acting talent of TheVocalButcher.
  • Sgt. Johnson mocks the player for playing the Library on Easy. On Legendary mode however, the Hoglet is missing and Johnson bugs out immediately, citing that his cat is on fire.
  • DOES SGT. JOHNSON HAVE TO CHOKE A BITCH?!?
  • He often complains if the Hoglet flips over, either over the car's ruined paint-job or the fact that both he and the player(s) are now surrounded by hordes of alien parasite zombies.
• 434 Passive Aggression presents the final challenge to open the last door: a three-part math quiz. While knee-deep in Flood and Johnson always suggesting wrong answers, it can get unexpectedly difficult for something so mundane.

HALO Kart Grand Prix levels

• The fact that in order to activate Halo, 353 Guilty Kart informs Chief that he has to complete five tourneys of Halo Kart for... reasons.
• 353 Guilty Kart then introduces the competing racers, or racists as he calls them. Over 60% of the racers are named Dave regardless of species.
  • Keyes and Keyes are one of the racer pairs. And one of them ends up shooting himself with the Throwing Pistol mid-introduction.
  • Seven Flood infection forms are apparently required to control one Hoglet. And all of them are named Steve.
  • For some reason, Goku and Dante exist here and are part of the race. Also, apparently Goku is Dante's mom in this scenario.
• Shorty after beginning each race, it's almost guaranteed to become a massive pile-up of flipped Hoglets and everyone shooting each other. Especially since Dave the Flood and his partner, Dave the Flood are equipped from the beginning with rocket launchers.
• The final race, Bowser's Castle has the chapter tagline informing the player that the AI is pretty bad at this specific racetrack and prematurely congratulates you on an easy victory.
• In the final cutscene regardless on how well the player did, the winners podium will have a Grunt in 3rd place, Dante in 2nd place and an Elite in 1st; all whom are teabagging. Chief drives up to the venue, executes all of them with a sniper rifle, hops onto first place and then teabags over their corpses himself. Sometimes, the scene can bug out where Chief misses Dante, the latter freezes and the former fails to hop onto the podium and instead teabags in front of it.

Two Betrayals

• Right after the chapter title "Are We There Yet?", you encounter an absolute horde of Grunts riding on Hoglets and the visual of them all driving toward you is both terrifying and hilarious. The resulting chaos of plasma fire, hearts, piss, cars rolling over and Grunts being splattered is almost too much for the game to handle as the framerate dips.

Keyes

• Version 3, the cutscene in 'Keyes' involving Captain Keyes has to be seen to be believed:
  Keyes: Hello, it is me, Captain Keyes.
  Cortana: He's alive!
  Master Chief: Captain Keyes.
  (A Flood Infection Form drops down)
  Cortana: Look out!
  Keyes: Don't worry, I got it. *shoots himself with the reverse pistol*
  Cortana: (As the Chief and the Infection Form looks at Captain Keyes) Oh hell. No survivors Master Chief.
• The end of the mission, Chief would normally take a Banshee and fly it to the final level. Not here though. He boards a conveniently-placed (actually normal) Warthog and drives it off the hanger.

The Maw

• The opening cutscene pans from the wreckage of the Pillar of Autumn, over the barren desert and back to Chief in his Warthog - where then the player takes control and has to drive there manually. And it's over 4 kilometres away. All throughout the journey, Cortana will keep pestering Chief with, "Are We There Yet?"
  Chapter title: Now with 8000% more driving!
• And once you reach the end, Chief will use two Blunderbuss shotguns to fly to the start of "The Maw". It even re-uses the music and dialogue from Halo 2.
  Cortana: What if you miss?
  Master Chief: I won't
  *blunderbuss-jump all the way to the lifepod bays*
• The Warthog Run segment provides several more cursed Warthog variants to play with. InfernoPlus even challenges players to try and finish the finale with the more esoteric variants.
  • The Reliant Warthog, which is based-off the infamous Reliant Robin series of three-wheeler cars. Good luck maintaining stability while making sharp turns.
  • The Ceiling Hog is Exactly What It Says on the Tin: a Warthog on reversed gravity. Which means once you get to the segments of the Autumn without a roof, you'll end up just falling upwards to the skybox.
  • The Wide Hog is a ridiculous sight to behold: six adjacent seats in the front with six chainguns side-by-side in the turret seat at the back.