Funny / Clueless

• This gem from the P.E. scene:
  Amber: My plastic surgeon doesn't want me doing any activity where balls fly at my nose.
  Dionne: Well, there goes your social life.
• Christian asks Cher if she likes Billie Holiday. She responds, "I love him!"
• A random boy tries to hug Cher, who responds by shoving him away with a very hammy utterance of her catchphrase, "Ugh! As if!"
• Cher's description of Amber: "She's a full-on Monet! From far away she's okay, but up close, she's just a big ol' mess!"
• Murray dropping all pretense of hip-hop coolness and screaming in utter terror while Dionne panics behind the wheel and nearly slams her car into an 18-wheeler.
  • The entirety of the freeway scene, really. Murray, Dionne and Cher spend most of it screaming their heads off.
  • "Whatever you do, keep your hands on the wheel at all times!"
• Mel is unimpressed by Cher's skimpy designer outfit she wears for her date:
  Mel: Cher, get in here!
  Cher: What's up, Daddy?
  Mel: What the hell is that?
  Cher: A dress.
  Mel: Says who?
  Cher: Calvin Klein.
• When Cher gets mugged, the mugger than orders her to get down on the ground. Cher responds she can't because of her dress; it's "like, a totally important designer."
  • His response: "And I will totally shoot you in the head. Get down!"
  • The fact that Cher whines like a little child not getting her own way is what really makes the scene.
• The scene at the party where Dionne freaks out about about Murray shaving his head:
  Dionne: Why do you care what he thinks, Murray? I'm the one who has to look at you! What am I gonna do with you now? And right before the yearbook pictures? What am I gonna tell my grandchildren? You know what? That's it...
  Murray: *mocking* "That's it!"
  Dionne: You wanna play games?
  Murray: "You wanna play games?"
  Dionne: I'm calling your mother!
  Murray: "I'm calling your m—" What?! NO, NO, NO! Don't call my momma!
• Cher's having her driving test, but she's pretty terrible at it, accidentally scraping a parked car and knocking the side mirror off.
  Cher: Oops! Should I write them a note?
• When Cher manipulates and argues her way into higher grades:
  Mel: What'd you do? Turn in some extra-credit reports?
  Cher: No.
  Mel: You take the mid-terms over?
  Cher: Uh-uh.
  Mel: You mean to tell me that you actually argued your way from a C- to an A-?
  Cher: Totally based on my powers of persuasion. You proud?
  Mel: Honey, I couldn't be prouder if they were based on real grades.
  • Not too unjustified considering that he's a litigator - a lawyer whose job is to argue cases rather than settle or research.
• "Why should I listen to you anyway? You're a virgin who can't drive."
  • "...That is way harsh, Tai."
• Cher and Dionne befriending Tai:
  Cher: Let's do a make-over!
  (Dionne gasps enthusiastically)
  Tai: No.
  Dionne: Oh, c'mon! Let us! Cher's main thrill in life is a make-over. OK, it gives her a sense of control on a world full of chaos.
  Cher: Pleeeaaase?
  Tai: Sure. Why not? Shit! You guys! I have never had straight friends before.
  (Cher and Dionne look at each other in confusion and then awkwardly smile back at Tai.)
• Cher brings Tai over for dinner:
  Cher: Hi, Daddy! This is my friend, Tai.
  Mel: Get outta my chair!
• Tai sliding down the stairs at the club. Plus, the random guy who comes to her after she telling Cher that she'll now be known for the rest of the night as the girl who fell on her butt and asks, "Wow, are you okay? That looked really bad."
  • Right before he appears, Cher is busy assuring Tai that no one noticed.
  • Her random usages for Cher's see-through blouse, including as a headband.
• Amber's various hairdos that change in every scene she's in. The most hilarious one is during the pictures, where she sports one that looked like Pippi Longstocking's.
• Thinking that Tai might have a concussion, Cher tells Elton to keep her awake by asking her questions.
  Elton: What's seven times seven?
  Cher: Stuff she knows!