Cinema Sins Series and Franchises: G-L / Funny

http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Funny/CinemaSinsFilmSeriesAndFranchisesGToL

open/close all folders

Ghostbusters series

Ghostbusters (1984)

The first sin of the movie, at a shot of people in the library:
Jeremy: Reading.
When the library cards fly out:
Jeremy: Dastardly disorganisation of the Dewey Decimal drawers devistates discovery of Dianetics.
At the ESP test:
Student: A couple of wavy lines.
Venkman: I'm sorry, this isn't your lucky day.
Jeremy: Is this scene here to a) an actual experiment to see if negative reenforcement would activate this kid's ESP, b) establish Peter as a dick, c) establish Peter as a HORNY dick, d) a spicy Albanian cola drink or e) all of the above?
This bit:
Ray: Hey, does this pole still work?
Jeremy: Asking if a pole still works when it's not mechanical and you're not my college girlfriend.
At the first shot of Dana:
Jeremy: Jaywalking. Here I thought we were supposed to like Dana but she's clearly a serial criminal.
When the ECTO-1 leaves the firehouse:
Jeremy: Obviously sped up footage is obviously sped up.
This bit:
Hotel guest: What are you, some kind of Cosmonaut?
Jeremy: That's Russist.
When the trio shoot at the maid's cart:
Jeremy: I see the Ghostbusters and the NYPD have something in common.
This:
Venkman: He slimed me, Ray.
Jeremy: Great line, but I'm sinning it for inspiring Nickelodeon's content for the next 40 years.
This bit:
Venkman: I'm a little fuzzy on the whole "good/bad" thing. What do you mean by bad?
Jeremy: Bill Murray's response to his cameo in the 2016 reboot of this film somehow finds its way into the script!
When Zull breaks out of his statue:
Jeremy: You might think this is a supernatural occurance but it's really just a statement on NYC's air pollution and what is does to their beloved statues.
After Dana is dragged off by Zull:
Jeremy: There has to be easier ways to possess people than this.
Jeremy removes a sin for an unexpected moment: Louis Tully's rant about his clients, due to Rick Moranis ad-libbing it.
When Louis attempts to hide in Central Park:
Jeremy: Yes, run and hide from danger in 1980's Central Park at night. Definitely the best place to avoid immediate danger.
Yes, Jeremy sins Venkman for having Thorazine with him on a date.
When Slimer eats out of a hot dog cart:
Jeremy: This might look gross but it doesn't seem to violate any health code violations.
"Yes, it is true, your honor, this man has no dick" gets a five-sin removal.
Jeremy begrudingly sins "Dogs and cats living together, mass hysteria" but does so under distress.
When Louis and Dana wake up:
Jeremy: Movie does not contain a hardcore sex scene between Sigorney Weaver and Rick Moranis.
As Walter Peck gets covered in marshmellow goo:
Jeremy: The f*ck was this asshole doing here anyway?
The sentencing: Premature Bustin'

Ghostbusters (2016)

Jeremy refusing to call Bill Murray's character anything but Dr. Peter Venkman.
When Slimer shows up:
Jeremy: Worthless Slimer cameo is worthless. I can't believe they managed to get him off of his ranch in Montana to film this scene.
One of the stingers at the end of the video syncs up a living mannequin chasing Patty with "Nothing's Gonna Stop Us Now".

Ghostbusters: Afterlife

Jeremy making a cavalcade of jokes regarding Paul Ruud's career:
Jeremy: During this Wet Hot American Summer, Ant-Man reads an Avengers comic book while his students remain Clueless. I Love You, Man, and you're frequently The Object of My Affection, but you've been Our Idiot Brother from Year One.
Jeremy's reaction to Harold Ramis getting digitally resurrected as Ghost Egon:
Jeremy: No. No. No no no no no no no no no.

Ghost Rider series

Ghost Rider

“Oh sh*t, I sold my soul to the Devil face”.
Jeremy hopes that Blackheart calling the Rider the Devil’s “greatest creation” is as unsubtle as the movie’s exposition gets. Blackheart then calls the Devil “Father”.

Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance

"Idris Elba isn't in a better movie in this scene."
One of the stingers:
Johnny: You're safe here. We made it.
Graham Gouldman: Now that we've made it, we've made it to the top...
Jeremy noting that the number of rich and powerful people "who would want to see the anointing of a new evil king" are basically the number of people that came to see Terminator Genisys on opening weekend".

Halloween franchise

Halloween (1978)

At the beginning of the film:
Title Card: Halloween Night: 1963
Jeremy: Only 22 days before Kennedy's assassination! Coincidence?!
This:
Jeremy: Man, it'd be weird if this one shot of a matchbook inspired a white-trash inspired reboot of this movie 29 years later. Thank God that movie doesn't exist.
- Later on:
Jeremy: Man, it'd be weird if Dr. Wynn returned in the sixth installment of this franchise and turned out to be the head of an evil cult that worships Michael Myers. Thank God that movie doesn't exist.
Jeremy wonders how Michael Myers learned to drive if he spent his whole life in an insane asylum, then comes to the conclusion that he used secret Mario Kart paths.
Jeremy sins payphones for no reason.
- Later, he sins rotary phones.
When Laurie sees Michael in her backyard:
Jeremy: And it's at this point that you call the cops.
This bit:
Sheriff: All they took was some Halloween masks, a rope and a couple of knife.
Jeremy: They stole a Halloween mask at the HARDWARE STORE!?
When Laurie and Tommy watch The Thing From Another World on TV, Jeremy calls the movie out for showing the full 30 seconds of logos, referring to it as a sin within a sin.
Jeremy wonders, since Michael teleports throughout the house, if he was given ninja training at the asylum.
Jeremy repeatingly sinning Lindsey.
This bit:
Bob: First I rip your clothes off, then you rip my clothes off, then we rip Lindsey's clothes off.
Jeremy: I was told that, 10 years later, this guy was fired from the Guardians of the Galaxy franchise.
Jeremy cracks up at Michael dressing up as a bedsheet ghost disguised as Bob, admitting that Michael's got a good sense of humour.
When Laurie stabs Michael with a knitting needle:
Jeremy: Really feel like Laurie not saying "Sew this" as she stabs him was a missed opportunity.
One of the outtakes:
Dr. Loomis: I met this six year old, pale boy. He had these blank, emotionless eyes...
Quint: [[Film/Jaws Lifeless eyes. Like a doll's eyes.]]
The final outtake splices in Dr. Loomis's "I shot him 6 times!" rant over him shooting Michael Myers out the window.

Halloween II (1981)

When Dr. Loomis looks for Michael outside:
Neighbor: What's going on out here?
Jeremy: I wonder if this character was refered to as "delayed reaction neighbor" in the script because those shots were taken a couple of minutes ago.
Followed with:
Dr. Loomis: Call the police! Tell the sheriff I shot him!
Jeremy: "Tell the sheriff I shot him but I didn't shoot the deputy!"
At the Halloween opening credits:
Jeremy: I don't care how great your score is, 3 minutes of opening credits means you're getting a "ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding." (to the tune of the Halloween theme)
This:
Dr. Loomis: I shot him six times!
Jeremy: Dr. Loomis is playing the longest Pronoun Game '''IN HISTORY'''!
- Jeremy then notes that Loomis shot him seven times and reviews by playing a sped-up version of the scene from the first one while saying "kablam" for each shot.
Although he is relieved that Michael doesn't kill a random couple, Jeremy is also annoyed that he doesn't as well, remarking that "movie doesn't know how to Halloween properly."
When someone in a Michael Myers costume is run over:
Police Officer: Is it him or not?!
Jeremy: ID-ing a body while it currently is on fire.
This:
Deputy Hunt: Across the street from the Doyle house. Three kids. One of them was Annie!
Jeremy: [[Narm This line reading.]]
At one of the paramedics:
Jeremy: Discount Dana Car-HOLY SH*T!
This bit:
Dr. Loomis: He was my patient for 15 years...he became an obsession with me until I realised there was nothing with him; neither conscience nor reason, that wasn't remotely human.
Jeremy: I'm sure Loomis is very concerned about Michael being out there, but I think he's also glad that he has an audience who hasn't heard his "Tales from Smith Grove's Sanitarium" yet.
This:
Laurie: Why me?
Jeremy: Your friends are dead, not everything is about you, Laurie.
Jeremy repeatingly sins "Janet" as a sin, cheering when she's killed off.
At the townspeople throwing debris at the Myers house:
Jeremy: Did this one woman bring a lollipop to the riots?!
"Not only are there no patients in this hospital, they also keep it dark as sh*t. Check out the hospital's mood lighting!"
This:
Nurse Karen: I have to check on the kids.
Budd: Everyone's weirded out tonight...all this Michael Myers crap.
Jeremy: Yeah, because a serial killer on the loose is a really silly thing to be worried about. Budd wants oral. Think of his needs.
When Karen accidentally kisses Michael's hands, thinking they're Budd's:
Jeremy: I can't imagine Michael Myers' hands are appetizing enough to make out with after all of the killing he's done today.
This:
Sheriff Brackett: He got in here.
Jeremy: And closed the window when he got in too!
Jeremy is fascinated by a janitor continuing to mop up in the background, wanting his backstory instead of the rest of the movie.
When Michael prepares to kill Laurie:
Jeremy: Out of all of the weapons to pick in this hospital...he chooses a scalpel.
As Michael kills another nurse:
Jeremy: The movie dares to ask the question "what's sillier and more unlikely than a butcher knife pinning someone to the wall" and answers it with "a grown women being lifted up with the strength of a f*cking scalpel!"
When Michael slowly approaches Laurie:
Jeremy: Laurie has enough time to wait for this elevator and get in as Michael just walks towards her. He must have forgotten to inform his Druid employers about not disclosing a previous injury that prevents him from running at his victims.
When Jimmy is killed, landing against his steering wheel:
Jeremy: Jimmy died as he lived: horny.
As Michael stalks Laurie:
Jeremy: I would have removed literally every sin if he smashed through this door when he walked into it.
When Laurie and Dr. Loomis turn on the oxygen tanks to distract Michael:
Jeremy: Playing Marco Polo without a pool.
At the famous scene where Dr. Loomis seemingly kills Michael:
Dr. Loomis: It's time, Michael.
Jeremy: As we find out 7 years later, Dr. Loomis and Michael survives this.
The last sin:
Jeremy: I can't wait to see more classic Michael Myers in Halloween III. I bet it won't be about kids wearing cursed masks and Stonehenge.

Halloween: H20

When Nurse Marion from the first film reappears, Jeremy is surprised she isn't dead from her chain smoking rather than being killed by Michael Myers.
Jeremy questions what Michael Myers did for the past twenty years (noting that Halloween 4-6 was decreed non-canon) after he burnt to death at the end of Halloween 2:
Jeremy: He stopped, dropped and rolled and...then what?
"Introducing Josh Harnett." gets five sins.
Jeremy is pleased to see that Janet Leigh and Jamie Lee Curtis share screen time...until he remembers that they were in John Carpenter's The Fog then dismisses it as "nobody saw The Fog anyway".
This:
Jeremy: This scene was LL Cool J's audition for Deep Blue Sea! Wait a minute...H20. Deep Blue Sea. There's a connection here...oh yeah! They both suck!
This:
Josh: It's been 20 years! Don't you think he would have shown up by now?!
Jeremy: Yep.
This bit:
Ronnie: I want to tanalise myself with your sweet nectar.
Jeremy: "Deepest. Bluest. My hat is like a shark's fin", she replied.
Jeremy wonders if Michael should go into knife demonstration, with how he manages to lift people in the air with them.
Jeremy refers to Ronnie as a reverse Deux Ex Machina: a Hominid Ut Defecta, which he translates as "a human f*cking sh*t up."
At the ending of the film:
Jeremy: Man, it'd be weird if Laurie wound up killing a paramedic instead of her brother and ended up in an insane asylum. Thank God that movie doesn't exist.
One of the outtakes dubs in the "change" speech from Rocky IV over Michael reaching out to Laurie.

Halloween (2007)

The Jack-O-Lantern Bonus Round.

Halloween (2018)

"While they didn't give Aaron Corey an apple, that scarf might as well be one because it makes him look like an asshole."
This bit:
Aaron: I've followed your story for years and yet still know so little about you.
Jeremy: Probably because he only killed his sister, then broke out years later to kill a trucker, a couple of teenage girls and a horny guy named Bob who may or may not have been a pedophile. That's it. His murder spree story wouldn't even get a whiff on My Favorite Murder. Now, if you had 9 movies to choose from...
This:
Aaron: You feel it, don't you, Michael?! You feel the mask!
Jeremy: No. He sees it, remember?
Jeremy remarks that he'd have removed sins if they showed the podcast crew take a Captain Kirk mask and transform it into the iconic Myers mask.
Jeremy's reaction to the title:
Jeremy: There are three movies in this franchise just called "Halloween." Should have just called this movie Halloween: H40 because this movie is one Josh Harnett and one girl from The Creek away from being just that.
The Running Gag of Jeremy being annoyed at how the movie retcons all of the original sequels.
This bit:
Laurie: Michael Myers killed only 5 people.
Jeremy: Oh, come on! I know all those people he killed in Halloween 3: Season of the Witch!
This:
Ray: Wasn't it her brother who, like, murdelated all those teenagers?
Jeremy: "Murdelated".
When Laurie plays the tape of Dr. Loomis's analysis of Michael, Jeremy notes that it's actually Ernest Blofeld instead. "Two completely different characters with NO connection whatsoever!"
At a shot of Laurie drinking in her car:
Jeremy: Looks like Jamie Lee Curtis went to the Denzel Washington School of Drinking Inside a Parked Car for Actors Portraying Alcoholism and took Advanced Placement courses!
"Judy Greer looks as irritated as I am that she's being wasted in yet another movie."
When Michael murders a child:
Jeremy: Michael couldn't just steal the truck while the kid was outside. He had to make sure a kid died. This Halloween: EVIL. ISN'T PRACTICAL.
This bit:
Dr. Sartain: Did he...escape?
Jeremy: Asshole plays the Pronoun Game so Officer Hawkings has to ask who "he" is.
"I'm so glad that this movie that's supposed to be al about an older woman dealing with a traumatic past and conquering her fears still found a way to put dumb teenagers doing dumb teenage sh*t."
As Karen escapes from Michael:
Jeremy: Running! Running! Running! Excitement?!
At one point, Jeremy complains about Michael carving a human head into a Jack-O-Lantern, saying how long it'd take to do that before noting he has no personal experience with that. At all.
This bit:
Laurie: Happy Halloween, motherf*cker.
Jeremy: Poor form, Laurie. You know this knife isn't going to kill him. Besides, it's already November 1st.
The sentence: "Silver Shamrock", complete with audio of Dr. Challs screaming.
Dr. Challs: Stop it! STOP IT! STOP IIIIIIIIIIIIIT!

Happy Feet series

Happy Feet

Even though Jeremy thinks the movie is OK, he immediately adds a sin for this movie and its sequel delaying Mad Max: Fury Road from being made.
The Running Gag of Jeremy pointing out how blatantly dirty a lot of the jokes in this 'family movie' really are thanks to the music, starting with penguins courting to Prince's Kiss and... somehow only getting worse from there. "Let's talk about eggs, baby!"
"Hahahahaha, remember back in 2006 when we had polar ice? Good times..."
When Jeremy removes a sin for the musical numbers, he throws in a dig in at Website/YouTube's strict copyright policies forbidding him for playing them.
Between the famous voice cast, the numerous famous songs and the rights acquiring, Jeremy calculates that the movie must have cost "at least 72 billion dollars".
Several minutes into the sins video:
Narrator: His mom and dad met in the usual way...
Jeremy: Penguinarration!
This:
Narrator: The mothers left for the fishing season while the dads stayed behind with the eggs!
Jeremy: Ah, a reverse The Shape of Water.
This bit:
Falcon: What are you doing here, flipper boy?!
Jeremy: That's flipper-ist!
When Mumble and Gloria wind up in uncomfortable positions, Jeremy lets the puns fly:
Jeremy: Summer of 69. Doggiefish. Journey to the South Pole...
Jeremy cracks up when he finds out that Fat Joe voices a main character in the movie.
When the movie plays Queen's Somebody to Love, Jeremy hopes that "they aren't going to play the full Live-Aid setlist."
At Lovelace leaving with a flock of female penguins:
Jeremy: Great, so now I have to explain group sex to the kids, too. Who produced this thing, Larry Flynt?!
When Mumble and Gloria dance:
Penguin Elder: Now we have this...uprising!
Jeremy: Movie somehow thought it could become webbed-Footloose without me noticing. Movie is way wrong.
This:
Mumble: None of this makes any sense!
Jeremy: Script margin note somehow made it into the final cut of the movie.
At a shot of a snow covered mountain-top:
Jeremy: Get your Paramount out of my Warner Brothers!
This epic tongue-twister:
Jeremy: Humble Mumble bumbles and stumbles then tumbles and fumbles through the propeller as it rumbles but somehow doesn't get jumbled or crumble and so, I shall grumble.
At the end, when all of the penguins are dancing:
Jeremy: I don't care if they won 2 Stanley Cups in a row, this is way too much celebration.
One of the outtakes:
Mumble: I'm a very particular kind of guy. I need my own space!
Pee-Wee Herman: I'm a loner, Dottie! A rebel!

Happy Feet Two

At the opening credits being in water droplets, Jeremy immediately thinks the movie is an "animated kids movie that needs psychedelics to enjoy." He promptly gets high and spouts out nonsense:
Jeremy: OK, now I'm snorkle hufflepoop slop to fandango this whatacocker vofifercously.
When the ice breaks:
Jeremy: Happy Feet Two: The Meltdown.
At the title card:
Jeremy: "Happy Feet Two"? Look, I'm not saying it should have been "Happier Feet" or "Two Feet, Two Furious" but why spell out the word? All it does it remind me that it should be pronounced "Happy Feet To-wo". Quit spelling out numbers, movie!
When recounting the storyline of the last movie, Jeremy falls asleep in the middle of his explanation.
At P!nk's credit:
Jeremy: Using punctuation in the middle of your name.
This bit:
On-Screen Credit: Matt Damon as Bill The Krill
Jeremy: Movie ruins its surprise Matt Damon cameo by listing him in the credits. Movie doesn't know how to Damon properly!
As Mumble tap-dances:
Jeremy: They DO say that the way to a female's cloaca is through the art of tap-dance. Learned that on Planet Earth: After Dark.
This bit:
Mumble: Well, the only way to find out is to try it!
Jeremy: Cocaine dealers.
As Erik dances:
Mumble: That's it, get stupid!
Jeremy: WB's instructions to the screenwriters finds its way into the script!
This:
Gloria: We will find them. And when we do, you'll find a way to put things right.
Jeremy: Wait, "put things right?" What did Mumble do to Erik besides gently encourage him to dance? If penguins are this over-reactionary over a minor slight, they're going to be extinct long before the polar ice caps melt.
This bit:
Bill: Will, is that you?
Will: Of course, it's me!
Jeremy: Wow, Damon AND Pitt?! Get George Clooney and we can have Ocean's 500 Trillion!
This:
Mumble: Atticus...Ramon!
Jeremy: There is no greater hunter than Prince Mumbledick. He can track a falcon on a cloudy day. He can track Ramon.
At Lovelace's area:
Ramon: I am so full of love, I am about to explode!
Jeremy: Soliciting!
A callback to the sins video for the original, with yet another epic tongue-twister:
Penguins: Er-rik!
Mumble: Ear-rik?
Jeremy: The convenient way Mumble stumbles on this humble jumble ins a temporal bumble and geographic fumble. And so, I shall continue to grumble.
Jeremy notes that, while he can't play Sven's song, it is the worst attempt at music "since Tom Cruise and Russell Crowe teamed up for a Les Mis/Rock of Ages crossover".
At a shot of Lovelace covered in oil:
Jeremy: Deux Exxon Machina!
This:
Sven: If you want it, you must will it. If you will it, it will be yours.
Jeremy: That's funny, I've been willing for this movie to have some sort of coherent structure in the past 30 minutes and it still hasn't happened.
This bit:
Bill: There's no telling what we might become!
Will: Fine, have fun being a plankton muncher your whole life.
Jeremy: That's Crustracist.
Followed with:
Will: I'm going to eat something that has a face!
Jeremy: Whoa, slow down there, Hannibal! What is this, Silence of the Clams?!
This:
Brian the Beach Master: Look at it my way, sport. I'll be protecting my family...
Jeremy: SUBZERO SKIP!
When Bill and Will scout the ice:
Bill: What are you doing?!
Will: I'm stalking!
Jeremy: Stalking.
As Will sings "We Are The Champions":
Jeremy: Still better than that Bohemian Rhapsody movie.
This:
Mumble: There is a way to feed a whole lot of you!
Jeremy: Aw man, are they really saying that Mumble is Penguin Jesus and he's going to come back with seven loaves of bread and two fish?!
This bit:
Atticus: We need some mother love, Mrs. G!
Jeremy: Gloria is indeed a PILF, but there's no time for that thinking, dude!
"Oh no, flying birds! It's like we haven't had enough distractions from whatever passes as an A-Story in this film!"
This:
Mumble: Ramon, look! Everybody came!
Jeremy: Bragging about your orgies.
This bit:
Bill: Is this the end?!
Jeremy: Don't tease me, bro.
One of the outtakes:
Erik: Daddy, I was flying, I was really flying!
Mumble: We're penguins! Penguins can't fly!
Woody: That wasn't flying! That was...falling with style!

Harry Potter series

Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone

"Dumbledore leaves Harry with his sh*t-headed relatives knowing full well they will abuse and mistreat him for years to come." *ding*
"Hermione isn't old enough to be hot yet." *ding*
As Harry sends off Hedwig...
"Where am I supposed to go?!? You didn't give me a letter!!" *ding*
In one post-review stinger...
Voldermort: ...when you can join me, and live?
Harry: Never!
Jeremy: Voldermort offers an empire, but Harry strikes back. *ding*

Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets

"I get the sense that Slytherin needs to re-brand itself. I mean, everything associated with Slytherin is evil. All the evil kids go here. If you're sent to Slytherin, the school is basically saying, 'You're a bad kid... Have fun being an asshole, s*ithead.'" *ding*

Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban

"Black could be anywhere." "That's racist." *ding*
The boggart scene when a student turns it into a Jack-in-the-Box clown:
Jeremy: Holy sh*t, she just turned that cobra into something even scarier. Why is everyone laughing?! *ding*

Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire

At the scene where Ireland's magic fireworks turn into a dancing leprechaun: "That's racist." *ding*
This:
Hermione: (to Ron) Would you care to join us?
Ron: No, I would not care to join you and Viktor.
Jeremy: Ron's character motivations are so base he might as well just be a penis. *ding*
"The Yule Ball has been a tradition of the Triwizard Tournament since its inception." *BWOWM*
"From now on, I'm calling my penis 'Secret Swan'". *ding*
In one of the stingers, Cedric Diggory is about to kill an unconscious person (Viktor Krum) in the Maze. Harry immediately stops Cedric, telling him that the man is bewitched. It then cuts to a frozen Jack Torrance.

Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix

When Harry snaps at Ron:
Harry: I said I'm fine, Ron!
Jeremy: Harry Potter is a dick to Rons. *ding*
"Neville reaches deep down into his British roots and conquers India."
For Harry and Cho's kiss: "Room of Requirement does not furnish condoms." *ding*
This exchange.
Ron: Well...how was it?
Harry: Wet.
Jeremy: Well, this movie got a whole lot more interesting. *ding*
These series of sins during the reveal of Grawp:
Harry: So maybe it's just better to...
Hermione: To what?
Jeremy: Well, sh*t, Hermione... if you don't interrupt, maybe he'll answer the question! *ding*
Ron: Any idea where he's taking us?
Harry: Hagrid, why can't you just tell us?
Jeremy: Because this is a Harry Potter movie, and he's Hagrid. I mean... those are the only two reasons I can see. *ding*
Hagrid: With Dumbledore gone... I'll likely be getting the sack any day now.
[Scene of Umbridge speaking to Hagrid is shown]
Jeremy: Didn't Umbridge visit you and already do that? *ding*
Hagrid: I couldn't just leave [Grawp], because... because he's my brother.
Jeremy: Dun dun DUUUUHN! *ding* Also, CGI brother is CGI. *ding*
[Ron tries to smack Grawp's leg with a stick when the latter grabs Hermione, but the stick breaks]
Jeremy: Is Ron serious? *ding*
"Umbridge decorates her walls with YouTube's recommended video section."

Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince

After layering all the relationship stuff, we get into Ron at the infirmary.
Jeremy: Love how all the teachers are just silently absorbing the teen romance drama unfolding in front of them, as though there aren't more important topics to discuss or things to do. *ding*
About Slughorn:
Harry: You said Professor Slughorn would try to collect me.
Jeremy: Yeah, what the f*ck did you mean by that? *ding*
Harry: Do you want me to let him?
Jeremy: Wait...You KNOW what the f*ck he meant by that? *ding*
About Butterbeer:
Harry: Anyone fancy a butterbeer?
Jeremy: NO! I've been to your Wizarding World and I've had your "butterbeer" and it's disgusting. Cream soda, crossed with marshmallow, crossed with 15 pounds of sugar. You turned "sweet" into a swear word! *ding*
Jeremy REALLY doesn't like the magical dancing cake topper. After the initial sin, he mentions it three more times
- First:
  Jeremy: Plenty of magic to go around during a time when everyone's scared of a massive threat. We can't protect the children, but we can make cake-toppers dance, so we got that going for us. *ding*
- Next, when the Weasleys' house catches on fire:
  Jeremy: Why is the family that uses magic to scrub pans and move cake-toppers worried about a simple fire? Can't they just magic up themselves a new shoe-house? *ding*
- Then, when Harry and Dumbledore call the boat to reach Voldemort's Horcrux:
  Jeremy: He's calling a boat out of the water, but... it's kind of hard to believe that in a world with a spell that makes cake-toppers dance there's not also a spell just to create a boat and plop it right where you're standing. *ding*
- Finally, in the scene where Harry overhears the conversation between Malfoy and Dumbledore:
  Jeremy: In a world full of magical bullsh*t that is completely unnecessary, there is apparently nothing called an "anti-eavesdropping" spell. They can create invisible train station entrances, fix eyeglasses, and other completely useless sh*t. Like dancing cake toppers. Have I mentioned this movie has magical dancing cake toppers? Because it does. *ding*

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, Part 1

When Hermione reads the tale of the three brothers:
Hermione: There were once three brothers who were traveling along a lonely, winding road at twilight.
Ron: Midnight. Mom always said midnight.
(Hermione glares at him)
Ron: ...But twilight's fine. Better, actually.
Jeremy: Ron betrays the Harry Potter series by saying "Twilight is better". I bet he's even on Team Jacob, the bastard. *ding*

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, Part 2

When Harry is gathering Snape's tears into a vial, Jeremy Scott jokes about the movie's rapid shift in tone.
Jeremy: Funny story. So, I went to go to the bathroom, and then I came back to a completely different auditorium showing a movie where some dude's tears were suddenly magical and being harvested by...Oh, wait, this is the RIGHT auditorium? *ding*
When Voldemort announces "Harry Potter is dead!" and all of the other Death Eaters laugh, Jeremy responds by saying "Voldemort at the Improv!"
When Harry and Voldemort lock wands during the final showdown.
Jeremy: Harry and Voldemort set a bad example on how to celebrate Christmas. *ding*
When Luna sits down next to Neville after the final fight between Harry and Voldemort:
Jeremy: And the unlikely romantic pairings continue. *ding*
"Movie skips over Voldemort's two resurrections to cut straight to the happy ending."

Home Alone Series

Home Alone

At the opening shot of the house, all adorned with Christmas lights...
Jeremy: Why, yes, the obviously well-off family with 1,600 kids has overdone it on the Christmas lights. Thanks for noticing!
This:
Buzz: Is it true that French babes don't shave their pits?
Jeremy: C'est raciste.
Peter tells Kevin to pick up the Micro Machines off the floor, which prompts this remark:
Jeremy: Holy hell, a film shout-out to Micro Machines, whose commercials are on record as being 1/3 the inspiration of CinemaSins! Two sins off!! (-2 sins)
Jeremy keeps commenting on the borderline sadistic nature of Kevin's traps, while taking occasional potshots at the implausibility of Kevin planning out and setting up all the traps in his house in little over one hour.
Jeremy: (as Kevin is leaving the church) Kevin cuts this extremely close, waiting until 8:00 pm before even starting his plan to horribly mutilate Marv and Harry. *ding*

Kevin: This is my house! I have to defend it!
Jeremy: Sure, but you could also just call the goddamn cops as soon as the robbers show up, rather than design a Saw-like torture house. *ding*

Jeremy: (as Kevin unrolls the map of the traps) Not only did Kevin have time to develop this pain map in less than one hour, he found time to colorize it. *ding*

(after Kevin has shot Harry and Marv a few times —in the crotch and the face, respectively— with a BB-gun)
Jeremy: At this point, the burglars should call the cops on this psychotic little bastard that openly rejoices after shooting people in the face. *ding*

Jeremy: (when Harry activates the blowtorch trap) Not only does this not burn the house down, why the f*ck do the McCallisters have an antique blowtorch? And it works?!?! *ding*

Jeremy: (after Marv steps on the ornaments' shards) Kevin has a fascination with feet, but the angry kind. He's kind of like the Bizarro Quentin Tarantino. *ding*

Kevin: You guys had enough or are you thirsty for more?
Jeremy: Kevin could have called the cops several minutes ago, but would like to enact a few more acts of torment onto these wretched bastards. *ding*

(as Harry and Marv get caught by the tripwire after pushing their way through every other trap)
Jeremy: Kevin turns this impeccably-designed unholy house of pain into a damn footrace at the end. *ding*

Kevin: Hey, guys! (prepares to cut the zipline)
Jeremy: Had Kevin just run to the Murphys' house and left Marv and Harry up on the rope, he'd have avoided any dramatics when he got there, but no... this little asshole knows no mercy. *ding*

Home Alone 2: Lost In New York

The reaction to the Donald Trump cameo:
Kevin: Excuse me, where's the lobby?
Trump: Down the hall and to the left.
Sin counter: +1,000,000,000 sins
When Kevin gets a hotel room by using a voice modifier to make his order:
Kevin (slowed-down voice) This is Peter McCallister. The father.
Plaza Hotel woman: Yes, sir.
Kevin (slowed-down voice): I'd like a hotel room.
Plaza Hotel woman: Yes.
Jeremy: If you needed any more proof that Kevin grows up to be Saw and/or The Collector, here it is.
- A Brick Joke ensues in the stingers:
Plaza Hotel woman: Plaza Reservations, may I help you?
Jigsaw (recording): Hello, Amanda. I want to play a game.
Jeremy takes a sin off when Tim Curry shows up.
Jeremy: I know I'm going hard on this movie, and it deserves it, but I'm taking off a sin for Tim Curry, who's a national f*cking treasure. And I don't care that he's English, we're claiming him! (-1 sin)
Everything with Mr. Duncan:
Mr. Duncan: Two turtle doves. You keep one, and you give the other one to a very special person.
Jeremy: "Or to a random homeless lady that you'll meet tonight and get to know for less than two hours. Up to you." *ding*
Mr. Duncan: You see, turtle doves are a symbol of friendship and love.
Jeremy: The 1990's was the last decade where this line being delivered by an old dude to a kid wouldn't be creepy. *ding*
When Kevin slips on ice as he runs from Marv and Harry:
"It took nearly two full movies for Kevin to finally be hoisted by his own petard." *ding*
Dubbing one of Henry Jones Sr.'s lines into the moment where Harry and Marv are swarmed by pigeons. What's even funnier is that this was added after Marv's girly scream as he's being repeatedly pecked.
"I suddenly remembered my Charlemagne. Let my armies be the rocks and the trees and the birds in the sky!"

Illumination Entertainment films

Despicable Me

When the bank loan officer is seen, he is eating an apple, prompting Jeremy to do a variation on the "eating an apple makes you look like an asshole" Running Gag:
Jeremy: The director said, "Let's have your bank loan officer character eat an apple in this scene. It'll make him look like an even bigger bank loan officer."
Jeremy referring to the rambunctious kid at the beginning.
Jeremy: Despite being ordered to stop by multiple authority figures, this asshole kid continues to asshole assholey.
In one clip of the post-review stinger, Gru tells Agnes what happened to her stuffed unicorn:
Gru: It has been disintegrated. (voice turns into that of Daffy Duck) And brother, when it disintegrates, it disintegrates!

Despicable Me 2

Jeremy's rising annoyance at the Minions and their antics leads to him giving them nicknames such as "piss filled tater tots" and "jaundiced dildos".
After one of the Arctic scientists clad in yellow coats shouts something in a foreign language:
Jeremy: Jesus, can't ANY characters that are prominently yellow say anything comprehensible in these movies?!
During Gru's date with Shannon, Lucy discreetly drugs her, prompting Jeremy to question why Gru did not "immediately call Bill Cosby's lawyer right now."
One of the stingers shows the "most annoying sound in the world" scene from Dumb and Dumber, only with the noise dubbed over by the minion's "beedo, beedo".

Despicable Me 3

The movie opens with sixteen sins right off the bat: One for Comcast, five for the Minion logo, and a fart tax of ten more for introducing its first fart joke in under a minute.
"Boastsposition. Or is it Boatsposition? I mean, I guess it's Bothsposition."
Jeremy singing his own lyrics to "O Christmas Tree".
Oh, f*ck me hard, oh, f*ck me hard, how stupid is this movie?
When Gru and Dru accidentally recreate the yin-yang symbol:
Jeremy: "Well, looks like someone's been reading the Kama Grutra, and finally got the section on Grustynining."
Jeremy gets more and more annoyed at the Minions as the film goes on, culminating with him screaming in agony when they start singing 99 Bottles of Beer on the Wall.
When Jeremy hears that Bratt is the AVL's most wanted villain, we have this:
Jeremy: But I thought you said—
[cut to the famous scene from The Professional]
Stansfield: EVERYONE!!!
Jeremy: I mean...
Silas: I want every agent in the area of the scene immediately!

The Grinch

The first three sins in succession:
(Universal logo with Comcast byline)
Jeremy: Comcast.
Bob the Minion: Illumination!
Jeremy: Minions.
Snowball: AW YEAH!
Jeremy: The bunny from Secret Life of Pets.
Jeremy notices a sign from a Who baker:
Who Baker: Fresh peppermint bread!
Jeremy: JESUS. Whos are workaholics. They're open from 8 in the morning until Midnight?! WHO NEEDS BREAD THIS MANY HOURS IN THE DAY?!
This bit:
Who: Here you go, kid, have a wreath!
Jeremy: Socialism.
"Well, Scott Mosier did direct this movie. He knows a lot about snowballing!"
When The Grinch throws things at his radio:
Jeremy: Movie plays decidingly human Christmas songs. I demand to see an old timey film where Eisenhower meets the Whos in the Oval Office to team up with their common enemy The Snorks!
This bit:
Narrator: Now, The Grinch hated Christmas...
Jeremy: How can you tell?
- Immediately followed with:
Narrator: Please don't ask why, no one quite knows the reason.
Jeremy: I wasn't.
This bit:
Narrator: But I think the most likely reason of all was that his heart was two sizes too small.
Jeremy: Armchair cardiologists!
"This mother is making so many poor decisions. She's serving piping hot toast to these poor toddlers. And she named them Buster and Bean! Those poor, poor children...
This bit:
Narrator: All the Whos would link hands and start singing.
Jeremy: Ooh! Did they do Won't Get Fooled Again? Baba O'Reilly? AMERICAN WOMAN?!
This:
Narrator: The Grinch got a wonderful, awful idea!
Jeremy: You mean "was".
As The Grinch plays his organ:
Jeremy: The Grinchy of the Opera is there...in your mind!
This bit:
Cindy-Lou Who: I'm gonna sit in the living room with my eyes wide open like this, and if I start to drift off, I'll just open them wider!
Jeremy: Is she trying to see Santa Claus or avoid Freddy Kruger? OOH, OOH! What if it's both?!
This:
Cindy-Lou Who: We're going to trap Santa Claus!
Jeremy: I'm sorry. My ears can't register anything that insane unless it's said by Nicolas Cage.
This bit:
The Grinch: Now that is a great cup of coffee!
Jeremy: You know, I didn't think anything of Max being able to make coffee but now I'm confused as to how the wild reindeer did it.
"Of course, there's a drone in this thing."
This bit:
Groopert: But I can see the string.
Cindy-Lou Who: It'll be dark at night!
Groopert: What if he has a flashlight?
Jeremy: Groopert would be amazing at "Cindy-Lou's Stupid Plan" Sins.
Upon seeing a slow-motion shot, Jeremy makes a personal vow to add 50 sins every time one shows up in an animated movie, starting with this one.
At one point, Jeremy refers to the movie as "the original cartoon's Synder Cut".
This bit:
Cindy-Lou Who: 8 hours until Christmas morning. That's 28,800 seconds!
Homer Simpson: NEEEEEEEEEEEEERD!
"From the studio that brought you the original Bruce Almighty moon comes ANOTHER BRUCE ALMIGHTY MOON!"
As The Grinch steals an enormous amount of gifts from a house:
Jeremy: Jesus, is this Jeff Bezos' house?!
This bit:
Donna Who: The Grinch didn't steal Christmas, he just stole stuff. Christmas comes from the heart.
Jeremy: Oh, THAT'S where my BMX dirt bike I asked Santa went to!
Followed with:
Donna Who: Besides, I already have the greatest gift of all. You.
Jeremy: "Your twin brothers, not so much."
"Guys. No one is pulling this sleigh. Either this thing is autonomous or...f*ck, I just can't!" 5 sins are added
When The Grinch goes to Who-Ville after reforming:
The Grinch: Here, let me get that for you!
Jeremy: Too soon, Grinch, too soon.
The final sin:
The Grinch: To kindness and love! The things we need the most!
Jeremy: God bless us, every one.
The sentence: A Red Ryder BB Gun complete with audio:
Ralphie: Oh my god, I shot my eye out!
One of the outtakes:
The Grinch: All the trimmings! All the trappings!
Bela Lugosi: PULL THE STRING! PULL THE STRING!

The Lorax

The opening:
The Lorax: "I am the Lorax. I speak for the trees..."
Jeremy: "Talk if you must on that stage on our screen, but narration's narration whether seen or unseen."
One of the stingers plays Fake Plastic Trees over a shot of Thneedville.
This:
The Onceler: Thneeds can do anything, they're super absorbant, can mop up the floor and they even make a nice hat!
Jeremy: So... it's a towel.

Minions

Even the YouTube description doesn't hide how much Jeremy hates this movie:
YouTube description: F*cking Minions.
Jeremy immediately calls out the movie for its opening logo, which has the Minions singing the Universal jingle.
This:
Narrator: This is Norbert. Norbert is an idiot.
Jeremy: That's racist!
One of the most scathing comments Jeremy's ever given out:
Narrator: Minions are predisposed to find the most despicable masters they can find.
Jeremy: So, the producers of this movie?
Jeremy wonders if, since the Minions need to serve evil villains, if they ever worked for Hitler.
When Kevin, Bob and Stewart arrive in Manhattan, Jeremy hopes that they'll run into Jason Voorhees.
This bit:
Scarlett Overkill: No! No! Don't say anything!
Jeremy: You hit the nail of the head there, Sandy.
This:
Elderly Guard: So you think it's funny to mock the elderly, do you?!
Jeremy:I wish someone brought that up in the writer's room.
This scene:
British Newscaster: Bob, who onlookers believed to be a bald and jaundiced child...
Jeremy: Hahaha, fine, okay, that was actually funny. But if you think you're getting a sin removed for one good joke...you've got another sin coming.
Jeremy reaching for the Brain Bleach when he learns the Minions have a sex drive.
Jeremy: It was an itsy bitsy teeny weeny yellow blob can't be unseeny. *Ding* Also, does this fire hydrant threesome mean that Minions have sex drives? Aaaaand I just realized Rule 34 applies to Minions and I would like to be done existing now, thanks.

The Secret Life of Pets

This:
Minion: ILLUMINATION! ILLUMINATION!
Jeremy: IRRITATION! IRRITATION!
"For a movie that likes animals so much, you think they'd stop beating a dead horse."
"A daschund that slinks up a stairwell couldn't be more Toy if it Storyied."
This exchange when Max runs away from the Flushed Pets:
Max: We're sorry. Can this be over now?
Jeremy: Max summarizes my feelings about watching this movie.

The Secret Life of Pets 2

Jeremy starts off the video by not only sinning Comcast, but also the amount of time it took to create the byline for Comcast as well.
At the Logo Joke of a Minion being pulled by a group of dogs, Jeremy becomes horrified at the concept of a crossover between the franchises.
Jeremy is annoyed at Jay-Z being on the soundtrack, launching into a rant about him while the movie plays.
At baby Liam:
Jeremy: This kid looks like The Boss Baby on steroids.
Jeremy adds 50 sins for all the poor parenting throughout the movie.
- Later on, he wonders if the parents "were replaced by the adults in Peanuts".
The Running Gag about Jeremy's increasing frustration over no one noticing the animal's adventures, culminating in him adding 10 sins.
Jeremy's comments on Snowball:
Jeremy: It's like the screenplay writer had a bet with Kevin Hart that he couldn't make the material funny. Said writer proceeded to get HAMMERED that night.
This bit:
Daisy: We went through the baggage compartment. The owners always blame the airlines!
Jeremy: More like Secret Life of JERKS, am I right?!
At a Wilhelm Scream:
Jeremy: I'm more in pain than that guy who got thrown through a building.
Jeremy notes that Rooster is so much like Harrison Ford, "all he needs is an earring."
At the end credits that show viral videos of people with animals:
Jeremy: These end credits just won the 10-thousand-dollar prize on America's Funniest Home Videos.

Sing

The Illuminations logo at the start features the Minions from Despicable Me singing the logo name, prompting Jeremy to do his usual studio-logo-is-too-long criticism thus:
"Dammit Illumination, stop trying to distract me from the 48 seconds of logos by dressing them up with your tiny little cash cows!"
- At the end, the Illumination logo is seen again, and once again, the Minions sing the logo name. Again, it is sinned, but with no explanation at all this time.
"Jeez, it's like some suit at Illumination saw Zootopia and said, 'Give me that, except more animal variety and less plot! Oh, and NO f*cking Shakira!'"
Jeremy insults the way Meenah sings "Happy Birthday":
"No one likes a person that over-sings the Happy Birthday song. You either shout it off key or you don't sing it at all, Tori Kelephant. Those are the rules."
As the fan blows all of the flyers for the contest out the window, out of Buster's reach, Jeremy exclaims, "90% of this movie is fan-based!"
As Buster mourns his theater's destruction while holding his father's bucket...
Jeremy: Contrived koala carelessly cries, casually clutching cup. *ding*
When the camera does a close-up of Ash's mouth when she's singing...
Jeremy: Easy camera... it's only the porcupined version of Scarlett Johansson. *ding*

Sing 2

After the traditional "Comcast" sin, Jeremy promptly sins the Illumination logo. Which now has thousands of Minions clapping in sync, working in 48 seconds of logos combined with the Universal logo.
"I just need to say how disturbing it is to never be told what sort of animal is zipped in the flower costume."
Jeremy losing his mind at the way the lights are turned on by flicking the switch down.
"Here's something that says 'Something-oopie.' And I think we all know what that first letter is."
Upon seeing Porsha in a skintight alien suit:
Jeremy: A reminder that this costume was originally worn by a pig.

Indiana Jones franchise

Raiders of the Lost Ark

When a native is frightened by a giant statue of a head:
Jeremy: Well, somebody saw the Brady Bunch Hawaiian 2-Part special!
An inverted version of a Running Gag takes place:
Subtitle: South America 1936
Jeremy: "Yeah, this is somewhere between southern Chile and northern Columbia. Take a right at the gas station, you can't miss it."
Two quick sins:
Jeremy: Unreadable map is unreadable! *ding* Also, look at that thing! It looks more like four used Mcdonald's napkins, not a map. That thing is useless!
When Indy swaps the idol for the bag of sand:
Jeremy: He releases sand from the counterweight BY EYEBALLING THE IDOL! That is...just BEYOND ballsy.
As the natives try to kill Indy:
Jeremy: These blowers do a terrible job at reaching a climax...I mean, killing Indy! And these hand-jobbers...I mean, archers, are terrible too!
This bit:
Indiana: There's a big snake in the plane, Jock!
Jeremy: Indy is instantly tired of these motherf*cking snakes on this motherf*cking plane.
"The director said, 'let's have your character give Dr. Jones an apple after his lecture, it'll make you look like more of an asshole!'"
"Gun. Whip. Leather jacket. Let's all go to the airport. Let's go right now!"
This bit:
Jeremy: These two flight attendents are standing ''directly under'' the spinning propellers!
Jeremy removes 3 sins without any explanation for Indy shooting the swordsman.
This bit:
Indiana: I ought to shoot you right now.
Belloq: Hardly a private place for a murder!
Jeremy: "Of course, you've gotten away with 3 murders in the last 5 minutes so what's one more?"
This:
Sallah: Bad dates.
Jeremy: Dr. Jones' fate abates once the primate playmate ate a not-so-great date.
"Never set living snakes on fire. One of my life rules."
This bit:
Toht: You Americans, you're all the same. Always overdressing for the wrong occasions.
Jeremy: Wait, THAT'S his burn? "Americans are always overdressing for the wrong occasions"?! Is that even marginally true? Americans dress up for weddings, funerals, church, graduation ceremonies, business meetings...does Toht want us wearing business suits to Wrestlemania? Or shorts to revival services?
This:
Indiana: Take this and wave it at anything that slithers.
Jeremy: A dangerous thing to say to a woman who you previously slept with.
When Indy bites into the giant Nazi mechanic's arm:
Jeremy: Cannibalism.
As the Nazi submarine sails on:
Jeremy: Steven Spielberg's Das Boot.
When Major Toth's face melts off:
Jeremy: HOORAY! Nightmare Fuel! I do believe in spooks, I ''do'' believe in spooks...
As Indy and Marion walk off together at the end:
Jeremy: To think, this romance is going to produce a kid named Mutt.
One of the outtakes plays Anakin's sand speech over the Nazis opening the Ark of the Covenant.

Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom

When Short Round arrives at just the right time to save Indy with the car, Jeremy asks "Is this guy Everything Everywhere All at Once?"

Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull

"Indy makes a casual reference to an adventure that would easily have made a better movie than this one."
Jeremy has Mutt's introduction be a sin without any explanation.
After Irina kicks Mutt off of the vehicle with the titular Crystal Skull and is getting away.
Mutt: What are you looking at, daddy-o?!
Jeremy: DUDE. THE FU*KING GUN. YOU'RE PROPPED UP AGAINST THE SOLUTION TO THIS VERY PROBLEM. *ding*
After the monkeys attack the Russians but not the heroes.
Jeremy: The monkeys of the Amazon are anti-communist by nature. *ding*
When a Soviet henchman gets eaten by the "big damn ants":
Jeremy: If ants that could eat you this quickly actually existed, I'm pretty sure South America would be completely uninhabited. *ding*
- Then, while Indy and another Soviet henchman are fighting:
Jeremy: Thank god the killer ants have carved two separate paths around this fist fight so that Indy doesn't get eaten. I mean, I know Ox took out the skull and the ants scattered around him, but why do they continue to separate well after passing the skull? *ding*
Dubs Dr. Kimble's denial of murdering his wife from the interrogation scene from The Fugitive over Indy's interrogation, then dubs in Gerard's line of "He just did a goddamn Peter Pan off of this dam!" to the waterfall scene.
"Nobody does terrible aim like Indiana Jones bad guys." *ding*
Having survived the nuclear blast, Indy sees a prairie dog staring at him, which prompts this remark:
Jeremy: Indy, meet this prairie dog. Prairie dog, meet Indy. ONE of you... is the star of this movie, I'm sure of it. *ding*
This exchange:
Indiana: What exactly am I being accused of, besides surviving a "nucular" blast?
Jeremy: Did PROFESSOR Jones just say "Nu-Cu-Lar"? *ding*
As Indy and Mutt ride a motorcycle through a library, they almost run into one student who sees them and lets loose with a Wilhelm Scream.
Jeremy: This is the first of the Wilhelm clan to go to college, I believe. *ding*
This exchange:
Indiana: (to Spalko suggesting that the skull came from aliens) Come on!
Jeremy: Indy's reaction is exactly what the filmmakers should have thought before making this movie. *ding*

Insidious series

Insidious

The medium, Elise declares that the comatose boy, Dalton is lost in a place she calls "The Further".
Jeremy: Aww...couldn't you have named it something a lot cooler?
Elise declares that ghosts have gathered in the home because they can smell the boy's empty vessel.
Jeremy: Yes these dead things can smell Dalton's empty, living vessel. That's why they waste their time turning on record players downstairs and appearing out of nowhere and generally making a nuisance of themselves.
Elise is wearing a World War II gas mask to conduct a seance, for some reason.
Jeremy: Oh come on.
Elise: "LEAVE HIS BODY!"
Jeremy: Why are demons so easily removed by yelling at them?
Josh is overpowered by a being, and Elise gives him a motivational speech, assuring him that he is stronger due to having a living body. This allows him to shove the male with great force.
Jeremy: Really? that's all it took to fend off the demon? A little pep talk and a Street Fighter move?

Insidious Chapter 2

Sin 46: When the ghost of Parker Crane's mother appears before Renai, screams "Don't you dare!" and slaps her unconscious.
Jeremy: Movie doesn't cater to my male-gazing hot-ghost-lesbian-on-hot-living-bi-curious-MILF wish-fulfillment.
Sin 48: Carl the medium mentions how everyone has their own way of contacting the dead. Carl presents his alphabet dice.
Jeremy: Mine just happens to be dumber than everyone else's.
Sin 49: Carl tosses the dice onto the table
Jeremy: Yahtzee!

Insidious Chapter 3

Insidious: The Last Key

The warning during the title screen of "disturbing key-related scenes".
When a little girl does a drawing of a strange figure:
Jeremy: This girl is drawing Slenderman all wrong.
At a Dull Surprise performance by one of the leads:
Jeremy: Josh Stewart is as excited to be in this movie as I am watching it.
This bit:
Elise: His name was Wayne Fisher. He was 32 years old and killed a woman with a hammer.
Jeremy: She's fun.
This:
Elise: I'm not in the closet.
Jeremy: Yeah, that's where the ghosts from The Conjuring series hang out.
At one point, Jeremy gleefully points out that the demon looks more like "a rejected Ninja Turtle" than an actual demon.
"In the last 13 minutes of this film, there's been more key action than in the previous record holder for key-related activities, Saw III. Sorry, Saw III. You had a good run."
Jeremy laments that Tucker and Specs, the two inept ghost hunters from the last movie are main characters.
- During one of the many comedy relief scenes involving Tucker and Specs, Jeremy overdubs a wacky soundtrack over the scene.
One of the most biting remarks from Jeremy yet:
Elise: Remember when I went into the Nether that one time?
Jeremy: You mean the last film, where sh*t actually HAPPENED?!
When the key finally enters the keyhole:
Jeremy: Foreplay.
Jeremy claims that the demon isn't actually evil and that it "just wants to be loved".
"Yeah, I'm a demon. I slap people when I'm angry. You want a slap about it or what?!"

James Bond films

Goldfinger

When Goldfinger is revealed to be on the plane at the end of the movie:
Jeremy: Oh come on. I could probably rattle off a hundred reasons why Goldfinger couldn't possibly have pulled this off, but I'm just gonna ding it. I mean, damn. *ding*
In one of the stingers, they put the "Ricola" commercial sound over a shot of the Swiss mountains.
During the scene where Bond sends away a female masseuse by slapping her butt, Jeremy muses "You take care, Continuity Girl!", lamenting the fact that there is a credited "continuity girl" in the film.
Jeremy is less than awed by one of the most iconic scenes in action movie history:
Bond: You expect me to talk?
Goldfinger: No, Mr. Bond. I expect you to die!
Jeremy: Something that a bullet could have done unconscious o'clock ago. *ding*

Thunderball

Jeremy tries to hit the movie with a "Roll Credits" sin for the musical Title Drop, but is tripped up by the fact that credits are, in fact, rolling.
"Oh no! Water! We can't possibly step to the side of it and shoot the tires out now! Oh the humanity!" *ding*

Diamonds Are Forever

This bit:
James Bond: One chance. Where can I find him?
Jeremy: Marie...
Jeremy: James Bond plays the pronoun game so this guy... wait a minute. This guy knew EXACTLY who James Bond was looking for! PRONOUN GAME WINNER! FATALITY!
When Blofeld's cat meows after his master is seemingly dead, leading into the opening titles:
Jeremy: Movie forgets to tell you when to start taking drugs.
At Mr. Wint and Mr. Kidd:
Jeremy: Discount Crispin Glover. Seriously, he looks like he could be his father.
When Mr. Wint and Mr. Kidd give a helicopter pilot an explosive package:
Mr. Wint: He left this for you.
Jeremy: Taking a package two mysterious men give you without checking what it is.
As Bond meets Tiffany Case:
James Bond: I thought you were a blonde.
Jeremy: See, it's funny because she's a blonde in the book. So, if you had read the book, this is either funny or annoying, depending on how much of a book snob you are. The sin, as always, is reading.
This bit:
Felix Leiter: Where are the diamonds in that body?
James Bond: Alimentary, dear Lieter.
Jeremy: Digestive Sherlock Holmes puns.
This:
Gambler: Well, that's it, pussycat, I just shot my whole wad. How about you come back up to my place?
Jeremy: But you just said you shot your whole wad!
Immediately after:
Jeremy: Also, Discount Natalie Wood. Seriously, she looks like she could be her sister.
When the Vegas gangsters attempt to kill Plenty O'Toole by throwing her out the window:
Jeremy: These uncool drooling fools threw Plenty O'Toole in the pool.
When an elephant wins on a slot machine:
Jeremy: WHAT THE F*CKING F*CK IS THIS SH*T?!
This bit:
Tiffany Case: Keep leaning on that tooter, Charlie, and you'll get a shot in the mouth!
Jeremy: This is the dirtiest thing anyone ever said in a Bond film.
Jeremy angrily asks "What's so damn funny?!" at a shot of Mr. Wint and Mr. Kidd laughing.
This:
Bambi: I'm Bambi.
Thumper: And I'm Thumper.
Jeremy: While nowhere near as sexy as the Disney characters, this fight scene does nothing except give audiences a boner. Fight scenes like this were like guitar solos in 1971, basically a sign to start making out with your significant other.
When Blofeld's diamond power laser blows up a submarine:
Jeremy: So realistic!
This:
Blofeld: Well, if we destroy Kansas, the world may not hear about it for years!
Jeremy: That's Kansist.
Jeremy cracks up at Blofeld in the bathosphere.

A View to A Kill

When the Soviet helicopter explodes:
Jeremy: Being in a helicopter in a Bond film is like being the Titanic in...well, you know.
Jeremy's rapid fire description of the opening credits:
Jeremy: Neon snowflakes! Lasers! Fire-lady! Ski-lady! Melting ice-lady! Shadows. THE SHADOWS ARE SKIING, FATHER. Tassels!
Jeremy gets distracted by Q's Snooper robot in every scene it's in, cooing over it like its a pet.
When Bond is spying on Max Zorin:
M: Speaks 5 different languages with no accent.
Jeremy: And you cast Christopher Walken?! The guy is an accent!
When Bond spots May Day:
James Bond: Who is that with him, under the hat?
Jeremy: Because she looks like she's been exiled from the Q Continuum.
Jeremy is dumbfounded with the stage show in the Eiffel Tower, sinning it for "Whatever the f*ck this is."
When May Day escapes from the Eiffel Tower:
Jeremy: Great plan. No one will notice the woman getting away with the giant yellow parachute.
When Bond and Geoffery investigate the horse ranch:
Jeremy: Seeing Bond in a tracksuit is like seeing Vision in a sweater. It's unnerving as hell.
This bit:
James Bond: Killing Tibbet was a mistake.
Max Zorin: I'm about to make the same mistake twice.
Jeremy: You're going to kill Tibbet again? That seems like...well...overkill.
At a appearance by a KGB guard:
Jeremy: Discount Dolph Lund- HOLY SH*T!
Jeremy dubs [[Series/Seinfeld Seinfeld music]] over the scene where General Gogov and Pola discover Bond switched the tapes on them.
Jeremy's rant about Zorin refusing to kill Bond is interrupted when he eagerly notes that a desk lamp looks like Luxo Jr.
When the cop cars smash into each other after failing to cross the bridge:
Jeremy: What is this Keystone Kops bullsh*t!
This bit:
Conley: Lots of seepage. This place could flood any minute!
Jeremy: This was the seventh most used excuse my college girlfriend used for not having sex with me.
This:
Conley: But...what about May Day?! AND MY MEN?!
Max Zorin: Yeah. A convenient coincidence.
Jeremy: Zorin would be the main villain at CinemaSins.
At Zorin's zeppelin:
Jeremy: Clearly, Max Zorin went to the "Hey, wouldn't it be cool if..." school of villain vehicle selection.
When Max Zorin falls to his death:
Dr. Mortimer: MAX! MAAAAAAAX!
Jeremy: Max.

Licence to Kill

The first sin of the movie:
Felix Leiter: You sure you have the ring?
Jeremy: James Bond in The Hangover, Part 0.
Jeremy, at seeing a familar actor, gleefully comes up with a scenario where both Agent Johnsons from Die Hard surived with one becoming Franz Sanchez.
"This guy shooting over the Jeep's windshield and holding the gun over his head might be the dumbest thing I've seen all day AND I WATCHED CHOPPING MALL EARLIER TODAY."
Immediatelly after, at the first appearance of Dario:
Jeremy: Discount Benecio del To- HOLY SH*T!
Jeremy sins the movie for "not knowing how to spell the American word "license".
When the movie refers to the events of On Her Majesty's Secret Service, Jeremy admits he believes the "Bond is a Codename" theory, wondering how Bond never ages despite it.
This bit:
Krest: I want to deep-six him. [...] I don't like it, he can finger me.
Jeremy: Deep-sixing, fingering...my virgin ears can only take so much.
This:
Dario: We gave her a nice honeymoon.
Jeremy: Oscar Winner Benecio del Toro, everybody! *canned applause plays over the scene*
When Bond kills Killifer, Jeremy laments that Bond wasted 2 million dollars.
Jeremy sins a kid with a VH1 t-shirt.
As Bond dispenses the drugs into the ocean:
Jeremy: Getting sea creatures high on cocaine.
This bit:
Sanchez: What's the matter, baby?
Lupe: You know I hate that thing.
Jeremy: That's Iguanist!
When Q shows up to help Bond:
Q: Explosive alarm clock. Dentine toothpaste, to be used sparingly. It's filled with plastic explosives...
Jeremy: How did Q get all of this past airport security?! Most of this stuff is explosives and you know MI6 didn't have him use a private plan!
When Bond spies on Sanchez's mansion, Jeremy notices Bond grabbing a female statue's breasts.
At Krest's death by explosive decompression:
Jeremy: Is this the darkest death we've seen in a Bond film? [[Narm And the funniest?!]]
Jeremy removes a sin for Wayne Newton as Professor Joe Butcher.
This bit:
Truman-Lodge: Well done, Sanchez! Another 80 million dollar writeoff!
Sanchez: Guess it's time I start cutting overhead! *shoots Truman*
Jeremy: But why kill HIM?! The only thing he did was make you a ton of cash then get rightfully pissed when you destroy said money.
When Bond kills Sanchez:
Jeremy: While Bond shows Sanchez Felix Leiter's lighter, I want to say that the villain's name was Franz Sanchez. FRANZ. SANCHEZ.
The last sin has Jeremy skipping the reconcilation between Bond and Pam.
One of the outtakes splices in Bruce from Finding Nemo when Felix is tortured by a shark.

Goldeneye

Them giving the film a sin for every scene where Sean Bean doesn't die.
At the end, when James and Natalya are making out in a field:
Jack Wade: Maybe you two would like to finish debriefing each other at Guantanamo, hmm?
Jeremy: You see kids, there was a time when having sex at Guantanamo didn't have bad connotations. *ding*
- The sentence? Debriefing at Guantanamo (not the cool kind).

Casino Royale (2006)

The "Do I look like I give a damn?" martini scene is funny enough that Jeremy deducts a sin for it!
During the scene where Bond's car crashes and rolls, Jeremy waits until the car stops rolling to finally say "Bond survives this."
The sentence? Bad Beat, which is accompanied by Teddy KGB's Villainous Breakdown from Rounders. And it continues to play over the "Subscribe" screen.

Quantum of Solace

"Discount Older White Obama cameo - blink and you'll miss it!" *ding*
Jeremy noting how the Big Bad looks more like Stevie from Eastbound & Down rather than a menacing villain.
"Whoa, Bond is at the EXACT spot where Harry & Dumbledore found the Horcrux!!" *ding*
Jeremy suddenly falls asleep mid-narration during the climactic fight in the burning hotel.

Skyfall

When the words "Think on your sins" suddenly appears on M's hacked computer:
Jeremy: Some people think we should do more of this. *ding*
- It comes back as a Brick Joke again, when the exact same message appears for the second time.
Jeremy: It's almost like this movie is daring us to make this video. *ding*

Spectre

When M indefinitely suspends Bond after the incident in Mexico:
Jeremy: Which in spy-movie speak, means you’re about to have the craziest mission of your life! *ding*
When Bond is examining the files that were recovered from Skyfall:
Jeremy: When the fire started burning this photograph, it knew exactly which person to delete from the picture because fire loves mysteries. *ding*
This exchange regarding a slight Out-of-Character Moment for Bond:
Q: I also have a mortgage. And two cats to feed.
Bond: Well, then I suggest you trust me... for the sake of your cats.
Jeremy: Did... Bond just threaten Q's cats? And maybe Q's life in the process? That's the reason Q's going along with this? My hero? *ding*
During the snow plane scene, these sins ensue:
Jeremy: As Bond's incredibly stupid stunt is about to prove, this easily could have killed Madeleine, but f*ck it. *ding*
(When Bond is using the snow plane as a toboggan to turn at a dangerous curve...)
Jeremy: This bulls*it is the most Pierce Brosnan-esque the Daniel Craig Bond movies have ever gotten]]!! *ding*
(And after he uses the snow plane to crash through a building and ram it into the enemy's vehicles...)
Jeremy: This is the kind of lucky bulls*it that I can't f*cking stand in these movies anymore. *ding*
Madeleine: Did it cross your mind that you led them to me?!
Jeremy: Madeleine is 100% f*cking correct. *ding*
(And during the moment where the supposedly dead Mr Hinx has a Finger-Twitching Revival...)
Jeremy: Batista is a horror movie villain. *ding*
When the third act of the movie begins in London:
Jeremy: Don't tell me it's London... don't tell me it's... (The caption "London" appears on the screen) goddammit. *ding*

John Wick series

John Wick

In regards to John's Kubrick Stare after he buried his dog...
Jeremy: Oh sh*t! Keanu just realized he's being filmed!! RUN!!! *ding*
After Iosef pleads to his father about making amends, Jeremy claims that his dialogue could be secretly replaced with that of Theon Greyjoy from Game of Thrones.

John Wick 2

After Giana slits her wrists:
Giana: I did it... my way.
Jeremy: Well, that's an odd thing to say. And Sinatra beat you to it. *ding*

John Wick 3: Parabellum

This bit:
Vagrant: Tick-tock, Mr. Wick! Tick-tock!
Jeremy: TikTok? If this movie came out in 2015, would he be saying "Vine, Mr. Wick! Vine"? *ding*
When John kills an assassin in a library:
Jeremy: Thank goodness this was a section no one goes into. If he was in the YA section, the cops would be called in ten minutes! *ding*
Jeremy cracks up at the movie twice within 2 minutes. He removes sins for John both using knives thrown in him back at his assassin and how he uses a horse's kick to kill another assassin.
This:
Jeremy: The biggest sin is how none of the assassins in this movie just try to shoot John. *ding*
This bit:
John Wick: I seek a meeting with the one who sits above the table.
Jeremy: You mean there's someone with even MORE power in this world?! F*ck me, by John Wick 9, we're going to find out that the head of the mafia was Thanos. *ding*
When a dog attacks Beradda:
Jeremy: Looks like he brought a crotch to a dog fight! *ding*
Jeremy is stunned at how several stabbings occur in full view of crowds in Grand Central Station and no one cares.
Jeremy: This is in front of everyone. People would scream and run away. New Yorkers have come a long way since 1976. *ding*
At the Sanctuary being made of glass, Jeremy wonders how anyone gets around. The video then cuts to footage of a person trying to get out from a maze of glass doors.
The last sin of the video:
Bowery King: Under the table is where sh*t gets done.
Jeremy: My creepy uncle Toby is inclined to agree with you. *ding*

Jumanji series

Jumanji

This:
Bully: Prepare to die, Parrish!
Jeremy: Come on, kid, his actual name is Parrish! "Prepare to perish, Parrish" was just sitting there for you and you completely missed it! *ding*
"Yeah, they're terrifying and definitely a nuisance, but these bats aren't doing jack s*it to Sarah except flying around. Maybe they're trying to teach her about becoming a symbol of hope to a crime-riddled city or something like that".
"Notice how Monopoly is at the bottom of the other stack. That's because Monopoly, much like Jumanji, tears peoples' lives apart".
Another gem:
Alan: I've seen things you've only seen in your nightmares...
Jeremy: Ah, so Alan saw an early cut of Bicentennial Man!
Near the end, Jeremy goes on a rant due to the inconsistencies of the pieces on the board and adds a total 63 sins: 23 for the number of inconsistencies, 15 for each minute he spent writing up said inconsistencies, and 25 more for the studio screwing it up so often.
After hearing the girls speaking French at the end, he swears to god that if Dwayne Johnson isn’t wearing a beret and eating croissants in the sequel.

Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle

When the board game transforms into a video game offscreen with a sickly green glow:
Jeremy: Is there a Gremlin masturbating to a sleeping Alex?
Jeremy instantly notes the movie's Sony product placement:
Jeremy: It's 2017 and these kids all have Sony phones. Nothing weird about that at all.
When the movie first enters Jumanji:
Jeremy: Oh sh*t, we're in Journey 2: The Mysterious Island.
At one point, Jeremy considers Jumanji to be a bigger dick than Myst because "at least you could exit Myst."
Jeremy takes glee in pointing out every single instance the game doesn't act like a real video game.
The character Alex is referred to as Camp Rock's Nick Jonas throughout the entire video.
"This jumping is so fake, they should just play Mario noises over it. In fact, let's do that right now!" The video then rewinds and plays Mario sound effects over the scene in question.
After the game is destroyed:
Jeremy: Yeah, like that'll stop a sequel.
The last sin:
Guns n' Roses: (during credits) Welcome to the jungle!
Jeremy: Roll cr-- oh.

Jumanji: The Next Level

At an establishing shot of Jumanji:
Jeremy: Oh sh*t, they accidentally set the new Jumanji movie in Pandora! James Cameron's gonna be PISSED!
Jeremy sins nose rings.
Jeremy: What is this, 2005?! Take that out, you damn hippie!
This bit:
Eddie: What do you want, Milo?!
Milo: It's good to see you too.
Jeremy: Oh cool, they finally got around to making Grumpiest Old Men.
This:
Game: Welcome to Jumanji!
Fridge: Wait, we haven't even picked our guys yet!
Jeremy: I know! It's like the script's being written in real time.
This bit:
Eddie/Xander: Are we in Florida?!
Jeremy: This movie is SUCH a rehash of the first one in this part. So the sin here is "sequels." F*cking sequels. *15 sins are added*
At a shot of chaos in the village:
Jeremy: Mad Max: Jumanji Road.
When Eddie/Xander harrasses an ostrich:
Jeremy: This movie has so much dicking around, it's like an orgy video on a porn site.
"Ostriches! Dune Buggies! Zero Stakes! Excitement?!"
This:
Martha/Ruby: I guess that's the next level.
Jeremy: Roll Midrifts! Wait...I mean, short shorts. I mean, cleavage!
At Jurgen the Brutal:
Jeremy: Discount Goth Beardo Bobby Cannavale.
"What f*cking video game from the 1990s would feature a scene where the main character randomly makes out with a hot lady?! I don't care if it's magic, this isn't Leisure Suit Larry."
This:
Sheldon/Fridge: Martha?! MARTHA!
Jeremy: WHY DID YOU SAY THAT NAME?!
When Fridge and Martha switch characters:
Jeremy: Hey, remember when they were actually playing the game? That's about 3% of this movie's plot.
"When you can predict the main actors literally walking up to a green screen for the setup of this scene, it removes all tension from a scene."
At one point, Jeremy refers to the new Jumanji game as "The 2019 version of the Friday the 13th NES game."
This:
Sheldon: Yo, you guys got to see this!
Jeremy: "You Got To Come See This" cliche!
During the climatic fight:
Jeremy: Well, it's not so hard taking on a Rock when you've defeated a Mountain.
The Running Gag of Jeremy wondering just who would actually want to play a game as nonsensical and boring as the game in the movie.
When Milo chooses to stay in the game:
Jeremy: This is some TRON level bullshit.
"Oh yeah, in case you forgot this is a CHRISTMAS MOVIE FOR NO REASON WHATSOEVER."
The sentence is Fatality, complete with pixelised letters.

Jurassic Park franchise

Jurassic Park

The Lost World: Jurassic Park

The SEGA line:
Jeremy: SEGA wishes that line wasn't dated as hell!
The film's All-Star Cast.
Jeremy: Movie keeps putting in all these actors who were red hot in the mid-90s like that's not distracting as sh*t. I mean, I love this guy and his character, but damn it's like the casting director looked at the list of actors for this movie, tried to narrow it down, and finally said, "I will choose...
Gary Oldman in The Professional: EVERYONE!!
When Sarah snarks that the T-Rex is "just happy to see them":
Jeremy: <sigh> Sarah's still anthropom—, anthrop—, anthropomor— ...giving human characteristics to the T-Rex.

Jurassic Park III

The Talking Raptor dream:
Jeremy: Jurassic Park III can't tell you enough how much it hates you.
- Made even funnier when he actually uses the audio of the scene as the sentence of the film.
The Reveal that Billy stole some Raptor eggs in the hopes he can sell them and help fund Grant's failing dig is Hilarious in Hindsight (in either a really funny or darkly funny) way with all of the twists in Jurassic World and Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom:
Jeremy: It's not a Jurassic Park movie if someone isn't trying to smuggle something dino-related off the island. No, seriously. Every movie. I bet Jurassic World has some theme park investor trying to smuggle a baby dino inside his suitcase or some sh*t. You watch.

Jurassic World

What is probably some of the most biting sarcasm ever put in a video:
Owen: (after the I. rex just wiped out a capture team) Get everyone off the island.
Claire: We'd never reopen.
Jeremy: Ooooooh, okay then. Keep it open. *ding*
Jeremy references a different film that one of the boys was in:
Gray: I Googled. They're divorce lawyers.
Jeremy: Which happens, dads leave, no need to be a pussy about it. *ding*
The shot of Owen and the raptor pack charging through the jungle, set to the tune of "The Quintet" from West Side Story.

Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom

At a shot of a bathyosphere:
Jeremy: James Cameron immediately had to change out of his pre-ejaculation jeans after watching the first 3 minutes of this film.
This bit:
Mercenary: What the hell is that?
Jeremy: Well, considering you're at a park that last contained a T-Rex, I'm going to guess...the smoke monster from LOST!
At the opening title effects:
Jeremy: Wow, I haven't seen CGI fire this impressive since Spawn.
Jeremy's brutal honesty:
Newscaster: Should these dinosaurs be given the protection that other endangered species enjoy?
Jeremy: No.
Newscaster: Or should they just die out?
Jeremy: Yes.
This bit:
Congressman: We will not condone any government involvement over what amounts to private land.
Jeremy: AND THE DINOSAURS WOULD EAT EVERYONE!
Followed with:
Claire: They're all going to die. And no one cares.
Jeremy: Roll credits! ...Please?!
This:
Claire: You're more likely to die on a horse than on a plane.
Jeremy: Oh yeah? Why don't you tell that to...
Text to Speech Voice: LANGUAGE NOT APPROVED LANGUAGE NOT APPROVED
When Owen reunites with Blue, Jeremy remarks that he'd remove 500 sins if Blue just ate him.
Jeremy gives the voice of Mr. Bill to two dinosaurs in the background:
Jeremy (as Mr. Bill): Oh no! The volcano is erupting!
This:
Jeremy: Dino transfusion is an illusion to cause confusion despite its inclusion suggesting a foregone conclusion.
Jeremy is dumbfounded at the dinosaurs selling for only 10 million dollars, noting that there's condos in New York that cost more.
Jeremy declares the movie is "Dumber than Rampage Dumb. Dumber than Emoji Movie Dumb. Dumber than Dumber and Dumber Too Dumb!"
When Blue escapes an explosion, Jeremy questions if they put any DNA from John McClane in her.
Near the end of the movie:
Claire: But they'll all die!
Jeremy: Good! Let them die and decrease the surplus population!
This bit:
Maisie: They're alive. Like me.
Jeremy: Kid. Silverfish are alive. Killer wasps are alive. John Tesh is alive. But none of them contribute to society and are invasive species.
The last sin of the video:
Ian Malcolm: Welcome to...Jurassic World.
Jeremy: PLEASE ROLL THE MOTHERF*CKING CREDITS!
One of the outtakes:
Lockwood: Go to bed!
Samuel L. Jackson: Go the f*ck to sleep!

Kingsman series

Kingsman: The Secret Service

When Valentine has a rant about politicians:
Jeremy: Is this guy a bad guy... or simply... right? *ding*
During the church meeting sequence that happened before the infamous church fight:
Jeremy: Movie saves a lot of money by simply recording a Westboro Baptist Church meeting. *ding*
One character sprints through a cramped area being shot at by about a dozen guards without getting tagged (technically his suit is bulletproof, but his face and limbs aren't). CinemaSins responds to this by playing the invincibility music from Super Mario Bros. over the scene.
"Man...anal sex...it could be said that the end of this movie got downright cheeky, amiright?" *ding*
One of the stingers involves a scene of dogs in cages overdubbed with audio from The Muppets Take Manhattan.

Kingsman: The Golden Circle

When the inevitable Title Drop happens:
"Roll joints." *ding*

The LEGO Movie series

The LEGO Movie

Jeremy calling himself out for being a bit mean-spirited during Emmet's morning routine.
Jeremy: Hi, I'm Cinema Sins, and I take joyful moments and try and f*ck them up. Jeez, what an asshole I am.
Jeremy gives Superman Take Thats throughout the video.
Jeremy asks if LEGO sex is "the most basic thing ever".
Jeremy: "Hey, my rounded peg can fit into your rounded hole. Come, let us attach and unattach ourselves together repeatedly for a few minutes".
This quote:
Jeremy: Is this the silliest movie Morgan Freeman's ever appeared in? No, he was also in Ted 2, Now You See Me 2, and Dolphin Tale 2. I know, I'm crazy, right? Still true.
When Vitruvius dies of decapitation, Jeremy laughs, removing a sin.
- Although this scene is more depressing than funny.
When Jeremy sees Emmet watching Where Are My Pants?, we get this:
LEGO steals the "Ow, My Balls!" show from Idiocracy.
The last sin:
President Business: Whoops, I have the antidote for the Kragle.
Jeremy: Yeah, but even when they douse this universe in mineral spirits, there's no fucking way you can get dude's pants off now.
Sentence: LEGO Jail
Red: I have no idea to this day what those two Italian ladies were singing about. Truth is, I don't want to know.

The LEGO Batman Movie

The movie starts off with Batman lampshading how all important movies begin, and Jeremy, uncharacteristically, gets quite giddy at the film essentially being a parody of CinemaSins:
Batman: All important movies start with a black screen
Jeremy: Movie would be amazing at CinemaSins. *ding*
Batman: And Logo's. Really long and dramatic logo's
Jeremy: Holy S*it! Movie would be amazing at WATCHING CinemaSins. *ding*
Batman: Get yourself ready...for some...reading *ding*
Jeremy: Holy S*it! Movie is a FAN of CinemaSins. *ding* Also...reading. *ding*
Batman: If you wanna make the world a better place-
Jeremy: If the movie had just said, "Narreading," I would have stopped the movie and the sins video right here. Shortest sins video ever. Job would be done. We'd have an internal discussion about even releasing it.
The movie did a great job of actually making Jeremy laugh, prompting quite a few sin removals.
Jeremy points out that the elevator is way slow, microwaving lobsters are for suckers, and Batman is watching Jerry Maguire.
This scene.
Dick Grayson: But all the kids in the orphanage called me "Dick".
Bruce Wayne: Well, children can be cruel.
Jeremy: [laughs, then removes a sin]
"Batman's exhaust fire kills hundreds, film at 11".
Jeremy lampshades the fact that Batman is playing a guitar in the middle of fighting crime.
The last sin.
Batman: All important movies end with a white screen.
Jeremy: That's racist.

The LEGO Ninjago Movie

"Old-timey ninja-movie-style logos are...hopefully not racist."
"LEGO shark projectiles rip off the seagulls from Finding Nemo."
"Gee, thanks Oracle, Yoda, sensei, Dustin Hoffman-rat, Morpheus, Obi-Wan, and Gandalf!"
When the Wilhelm scream is heard four times:
Jeremy: Repetition Equals Laughs Ex Wilhelm.
Followed by this:
One of Garmadon's minions: Phew. Just one day till retirement. (blows up)
Jeremy: "Guy has one day 'till retirement, mentions it, and dies" cliche.
"Garmadon would be excellent at CinemaSins."
"Not sure what I just saw, but I'm ready to kill the Malaysian prime minister at my next fashion show."
"Lloyd's friends are a dick to Lloyd. And they're also really stupid."

The LEGO Movie 2: The Second Part

Jeremy is shocked that Lord Business wasn't punished or didn't even get any comeuppance for his actions from the last movie.
When LEGO Batman first appears:
Jeremy: If you look up the word "overexposed" in the dictionary, you'll find a picture of LEGO Batman.
During the chase scene, Jeremy admits that it's cool enough to almost remove a sin. Then he remembers that he said "almost" and adds a sin instead.
At a shot of General Mayhem:
Jeremy: EVE-AH!
This:
Star: Oh, the pain! It's getting so cold!
Jeremy: Skip!
This bit:
Emmet: Hold on to your fronds, Planty!
Jeremy: Discount Groot.
This:
Wyldstyle: Are we in a musical?
Jeremy: I sure as f*ck hope no- oh f*ck me sideways!
At the first Bruce Willis cameo:
Jeremy: This movie is so full of pop culture ripoffs, I thought seeing Bruce Willis in a hot tub with a red drink was a Color of Night reference.
- Jeremy eventually removes a sin for the third cameo...but immediately adds 2 more for "Bruce trying harder in this than in his last 2 Die Hard movies."
This bit:
Wyldstyle: I liked you better when you were sweet and innocent.
Jeremy: NUCLEAR SKIP!!!
When Unikitty flies into space:
Jeremy: Nyan Cat.

Funny / Cinema Sins Series and Franchises: G-L

Previous

Index

Next

Funny / Cinema Sins Series and Franchises: G-L

Edit Locked

Previous

Index

Next