Funny / Chronicles of the Gods

A Game Of Gods

• Ravage makes Lord Montague wet himself.
  • Then Jorge shatters Lord Montague's sword by squeezing it with his hand, freaking him out so badly that he falls unconscious.
  • Jorge orders Mecha Sonic to "drop it", i.e. to stop making a nuisance of itself while he and Hahli resuscitate Juliet. Mecha Sonic interprets that order in a very creative fashion, prompting Stunned Silence and a Face Palm from the Spartan:
    "MECHA SONIC WILL "DROP IT", YES."
    The robot proceeded to breakdance.
• Then there is Gordon Freeman's line to Narumi after assuming that Gordon distributes Gaia Memories.
  Gordon: Alright, could somebody explain what's going on to this guy? Because I think an explanation is just a little bit overdue."
• In Halloweentown, expecting a musical number, most of the characters try to prevent it.
  • Naturally, this leads to a musical number—with the whole town joining in!
    • And everyone being tormented by it. (Except Eddie, Hahli Craft and Narumi.)
    Ravage: Don't give it an excuse to sing!
    Jorge: I appreciate the concern, Ravage, but I'm sure that this, er, tree, realizes that randomly bursting into song will quickly earn our ire-
    Tree: *singing* Boys and girls of every age, wouldn't you like to see something strange?
    Jorge: ...You've got to be taking the piss.
    Ravage: NO!
    Saren: Cooperate, fools, and maybe this will end sooner. Do you like the feeling of being deaf, Spartan?
    Jorge: If it means being unable to hear this mind-grating, ear-splitting, insanity-inducing trash they call a song, then yes, Saren, I'd enjoy the feeling of being deaf. Unfortunately, the music is not even close to reaching the decibel levels needed to permanently damage my ear drums, so I'm out of luck. I'm getting angry, Saren. Really. Angry.
  • Ravage revealing that he helped Lock, Shock, and Barrel kidnap "Sandy Claws" solely so he could get his paws on the Naughty & Nice List. And promptly betraying them by using the List's power to declare them all naughty and encasing them in coal from the waist down. It's as ridiculous as it sounds.
  • Right after this, Ravage starts singing metal songs from the soundtrack to The Transformers: The Movie, purely to annoy Santa and give the people of this world a taste of their own medicine.
• After Saren is killed in the Prison Break challenge, he awakens in a mysterious void before meeting one of the Nomads (seemingly, anyway) face-to-face. After being shown what his efforts at cooperation with the Reapers would have wrought in his own galaxy and being forced to witness—and experience—his own suicide, the Nomad then decides to punish Saren further by trapping him in the room and forcing him to listen to a non-stop loop of Always for seven hours.
• The Magical Girl Challenge. All the champions are turned into magical girls. Seriously.
  • The Champions' reactions upon discovering that they have all been transformed into Magical Girls.
  • Gardenia discovering her Covert Pervert status several times by mistake in the Magical Girl challenge, as well as the commentary of the others at certain points.
    Rey: "I'm pretty sure human bodies aren't designed to do that."
    Ravage: "Is that...is that a hor—"
  • After the Champions send the angler fish monster packing, a dazed and concussed Ravage starts quoting "Like a Boss" with a vacant smile, to Gardenia's mounting concern.
    Gordon/Gardenia: Ravage? You're saying nonsense and falling over. I think you might have a concussion.
    Ravage: Nope.
    Gardenia: I think you do.
    Ravage: Nah, that ain't me. I'm the boss.
• When the Champions return from the Magical Girl challenge, Lambda abruptly shows up to ask if they enjoyed getting in touch with their feminine sides. Saren is just done with the Nomad at this point:
  Saren: Don't you have something better to do?
  Lambda: In a word? No.
• What Vezon thinks of alcohol.
  Vezon: "A drink that kills off parts of the brain, yet people will keep on drinking... Whoever invented that must be the greatest assassin who ever lived."
• The Silver Sentinels arc. Especially this gem when Ravage is trying to shoot someone.
  "Reckon once more, Doctor Walrus!" Ravage boomed, taking aim at him with his ray gun. "You shall rue the day your rugged and rugose rear rolled out of bed and resigned itself to robbing this redolent repository of the regal taxpayers' rightly-earned restitutions! Ready yourself, for the wrath of Rav, the Ruthless Rocketeer Ravager from Rigel, and the roaring rage of his red ray gun!!!"
  Stop talking and pull the slagging trigger!!! he commanded, but his hands would not obey; it seemed that his body was dead-set on giving out a speech, and nothing would stop it.
• Edna Riggs, unicorn rider.
  "Fuck you! I'm riding a unicorn, I can be obvious if I want."
• Mason's Shout-Out to Snakes on a Plane and the post immediately below it.
• The Crossover challenge is as nightmarish and bleak as you'd expect a Cosmic Horror Story to be, but it does have its moments of levity:
  • Dr. Langley's increasingly exasperated reactions to the Champions and their powers. By the time the Dullahan rejoins the group, you can tell she's just about ready to give up on logic.
    "So now we're joined by the headless horseman," she muttered under her breath to no one in particular. "What's next — a man with the proportionate strength and speed of a spider or a talking hedgehog who can move at hypersonic speeds?"
  • When the group stops at a clearing for a bit, Vanitas gets sick of the Doctor raving about the blood on his hands and punches him out. A curious alien bird then comes over to the unconscious Doctor and inquisitively sticks its beak into his mouth to lick his uvula, startling him awake and amusing everyone else present.
  • After yet another pointless argument breaks out, Administrator Washington suddenly hijacks the bus's radio to announce that he's found them once again. Cue Ravage snarling in anger and Dr. Langley slamming her head down on the steering wheel in frustration.
• In the boss fight against Digamma, Mason, in an attempt to escape the Nomad's... clothes tearing tendencies, strips down to his underwear and sets his uniform on fire. Sub-Zero's response?
  • Sub-Zero looked over at Mason and raised an eyebrow. "What, are you going to disturb him so much he kills himself?"

Twilight Of The Gods

• Upon discovering that he's no longer in Latveria, Doctor Doom assumes that Reed Richards must somehow be responsible, and reacts accordingly.
  Doom: RIIICHAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRDS!!!!
• The reactions to both of Azula's seduction attempts.
  • And then, Black Mage tries to seduce Azula...it goes about as well as you could imagine.
• Dr. Eggman proudly shows off his badniks to the other Overlords. Nobody is impressed.
  Zod: ...Please tell me that those are target dummies for your real robots.
  Dr. Eggman: These ARE my robots! Isn't it delightful?
  Dr. Doom: It's pathetic. These...machines—and I use the term loosely—are an insult to even the least-skilled robiticists. And you proclaim yourself a ruler, with minions such as these? Are you fighting a war against children, for goodness' sake?
• Gilgamesh meets Gilgamesh. Each takes offence at the other's besmirching of their shared name.
• After the first challenge wraps up, the Overlords begin discussing the theologies of their respective universes. Norman Osborn's contribution is... rather beige.
  Norman Osborn: I worship a God by the name of God. He gave his son to us and made him die for our sins.
  Zod: Well that's just unimaginative.
  • Shortly after this, Daido asserts that his Gaia Memory gives him the powers of a god. The other Overlords are skeptical, so he tries to prove it by transforming into Kamen Rider Eternal and challenging Doom to a duel. Jack Spicer accepts the challenge instead, and after the subsequent fight ends in a Double Knockout, Fawful sarcastically congratulates Daido on getting his ass kicked by a pasty teenager.
    Fawful: Congladuration, your divinity has even matching for a teenage boy of scrawniness, too little sun, and eye makeup. You have fail.
• Maleficent arrives in the All-Lair, bombastically introduces herself, and demands to know where she is. Several of the Overlords somehow missed her name and ask who she is, much to Fawful's confusion.
  Maleficent: Tremble before me, mortals! Am Maleficent! Master of the Dark Arts and future Queens of all Worlds! I wish to speak with a person of authority immediately! I will not tolerate being spoken to by imbeciles and lackeys beforehand!
  Kamen Rider SHOCKER: And who might you be?
  Spades Slick: (terrified) Who. The hell. Are you?
  Fawful: Why does everyone have asking of her name when she had clarity of saying it was Queen Maleficent? Do you have stuffing fuzzies in your earholes?
• The SHOCKER Rider explains his organization's acronym. Several of the Overlords are bewildered by the Meaningless Meaningful Words on display.
• In the Dog Soldiers challenge, Fawful learns from Visser Three that the planet they're on is called Earth. He thinks it's a stupid name.
  Fawful: ...and what kind of a name of terribleness is "earth" being for a planet!? You might as well have calling of it "dirt." Planet Dirt!
• Doom (or rather, a Doombot) ends a rather catty argument with Harry Osborn by casually remarking that Harry has something in common with Doom's version of Norman Osborn: they both go after much younger women. This comment leads Harry to realize that he's been macking on a fourteen-year-old girl. He doesn't take it well, and one of the Daleks ends up stunning him into unconsciousness.
• In the aftermath of Gilgamesh's death, Richard tries to propose that they create an impartial being (using his sorcery, of course) to act as decision maker and tiebreaker for all the Overlords' decisions. Several of the Overlords disagree with that strongly, and open fire on him simultaneously. Megatron, Zod, and Doom all fire their most powerful energy blasts at Richard, Norman Osborn chucks a few pumpkin bombs at him, and Flandre... throws a toy soldier at him.
  • Right after this, there's the sheer Mood Whiplash of Norman Osborn getting his foot blown off by a reflected pumpkin bomb while Harry pays no attention to his father's suffering whatsoever.
• Daido, having somehow missed the big fight with Gilgamesh, learns about his death second-hand from Black Mage. He offers a very insincere eulogy for him and nails a sign to his door, which reads "Here lies Gigolomax".
• Percer trying to free an ice spirit out of a fridge much to Mechakara's annoyance.
• A bunch of Shy Guys using Harry Osborn as a battering ram.
• Zod makes a Lightbulb Joke.
  • Zod explains the various modes of transport out of the Watchtower.
• Majora trying to justify why it's killing humans, with Norman arguing why he shouldn't.

A Game of Gods: Infinities

• Donkey Kong makes Fluttershy his squeaky toy.
• Shotaro thinking that Alouette is more than friends with Recette.
• A con-man tries to nab 50,000 pix off Reccettear. When the Champions catch him and knock him out, Wreck-Gar decides he's a police car and runs off with the guy.
• Tyrell's reaction when he realizes that the woman he fell in love with on Cybertron was a Pony.
• Fluttershy's explanation about how she was born.
• Damballah's reaction to Shotaro telling him about the challenges thus far.
• Yaguruma's response to Shotaro constantly defending Fluttershy.
  "You only defend her since she makes your monster grow, you deviant"
• Eddie's response to a Breaking Speech about Tainted Coil demons being Always Chaotic Evil.
  Eddie: "You know what? That's just plain racist!"
• Magical Amber (Kohaku) in the Magical Girl challenge. After interrupting two of the antagonists' date, she then went on a tangent about them being aliens. Needless to say, no one knew how to deal with her state of mind, not even the villains!
• Starting here, Rey Mysterio refused to go to sleep after a series of stressful challenges. Over the next few minutes, this culminated into, to quote the discussion thread:
  An argument where a 36-year-old man refuses to go to bed like a cranky toddler escalating into a four-way brawl between the most ridiculous characters in the game wherein said 36-year-old man ends up getting smashed full-force in the face with a sledgehammer after falling for "Hey look over there!" I cannot quit giggling at this point.

A Game Of Gods: Taskforce Sifuri

• Yuuno discovers he's accidentally absorbed a very specific part of Ayumu's magic. Hilarity ensues.
• Team Magic's dialogues during the Commorragh challenge is full of pointed remarks, insults, and so much snark you almost forget they're on the same side.

Eclipse of the Gods

• The Joker crosses a rickety bridge in the safest possible way, showing great concern for his fellow Overlords.

The Discussion Board

Because the users on the discussion boards are so quirky, the moments on the board get their own page.

• Over on the discussion, the players discuss the Glurge that is Narumi and Taki's wedding. Starting here.
• Watch the reactions when Psyga proposes a F.A.T.A.L. Challenge here
• And the reactions when he proposes a challenge based off Road To The North Pole here.
• The "Party Games" scene in the conversations as well.
• AGOG: FULL LIFE CONSEQUENCES!
• After a "plug" from Psyga, nearly everyone subjected themselves to Sleeping Lioness. The nightmare begins here.