Funny / Carry On Doctor

• Matron's conversation with Dr Kilmore:
  Matron: This hospital just isn't big enough for both of us, Dr Kilmore.
  Dr Kilmore: Oh, now, come on. You're not all that big, Matron. (Beat) Oh, yes, I see.
• The entire Hospital Gurney Scene in which Mr. Bigger moans and groans in the ambulance and is then launched out of the back when Henry brings it to a sudden stop.
• The scenes when Mr. Bigger meets the other patients:
  • Mr. Roper:
    Mr. Roper: What they got you in 'ere for, something nasty?
    Mr. Bigger: No, not really. Just a pain in the back. It's a- cor, cor, dear!
    Mr. Roper: Last bloke in that bed had the same thing.
    Mr. Bigger: Did 'e?
    Mr. Roper: Right up to the end.
    Mr. Bigger: Oh, that's cheering. (Beat) Ah, I'll say one thing for them - it's a nice warm bed.
    Mr. Roper: Should be. They only took him out half an hour ago.
  • Mr Barron:
    Mr. Barron: Is this your first?
    Mr. Bigger: Pardon?
    Mr. Barron: Is this your first?
    Mr. Bigger: First? First what?!
    Mr. Barron: Baby.
  • Mr. Biddle:
    Mr. Bigger: What's your trouble?
    Mr. Biddle: Oh, I 'ad my appendix out.
    Mr. Biddle: Appendix? Well, what about your leg?
    Mr. Biddle: Oh, n, that 'appened when I fell off the operating table!
• Seeing Mr Barron in prenatal classes with unfazed pregnant women doing exercises is a sight that should be seen to be believed.
• Mr. Bigger getting electrocuted by the x-ray and Simmons caring about the machine instead.
  Simmons: Oh, dear. There goes another tube.
• Mr Smith and Dr Tinkle discussing Smith's condition and surgical removal treatment:
  Mr Smith: But won't it 'urt?
  Dr Tinkle: Yes, it will hurt, Mr Smith, and I want it to hurt! Perhaps next time you consider having a lump, you'll think twice about it.
• Dr Tinkle after an operation:
  Dr Tinkle: Where's my watch?
  Mr. Hardcastle: You must've taken it off.
  Dr Tinkle: No, no. I distinctly remember having it on when I started to sew that... fellow... Oh, no! An' it was an alarm, too...
• Mr. Bigger getting injected in the ass when Dr. Kilmore trips over a pillow he threw at him when he was being difficult with the staff. At least he'll know how much of a pain in the ass he's been with them.
• Mr. Roper trying to smoke discreetly in bed, and Matron finding smoke billowing out of the covers when she suspiciously raises the bedsheets.
• Seeing the 6'7 Ken Biddle in a dainty nurse's outfit and tiny high heels, and not even getting spotted by Sister Hoggett.
• Mr. Roper and Nurse May's first meeting. She politely introduces herself, causing his blood pressure thermometer to explode.

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