Funny / Carpe Jugulum

• Magrat Garlick's given name is a misspelling; it was supposed to be Margaret, but her mother's mispronunciation of the name (For Americans: In certain British accents, the name "Margaret" is pronounced closer to "Mah-grit") ensured the priest got it wrong. So when Magrat's daughter was to be named, she spelled the child's name out carefully and added a little note to the priest about it. He was so nervous, never having conducted the ceremony before, that he formally and irrevocably pronounced the infant "Esmerelda Margaret Note Spelling of Lancre".
  • Which, you have to agree, is better than the old king "My-God-He's-Heavy the First", or Mr. "James What the Hell's That Cow Doing in Here Poorchick", who's usually called 'Moocow'.
  • My-God-He's-Heavy the First, implying that there have been at least two Kings My-God-He's-Heavy.
• Magrat shocks Nanny Ogg, who wasn't expecting the coven's erstwhile Maiden to crack a naughty joke of her own, while teasing her about Igor's apparent crush on her.
  "Oh, I don't know, I really don't," said Nanny. "I mean, it's flattering and everything, but I really don't think I could be goin' out with a man with a limp."
  "Limp what?"
  Nanny Ogg had always considered herself unshockable, but there's no such thing. Shocks can come from unexpected directions.
  • It's heartening to know Magrat has become more comfortable with her sexuality and she and Verence are having a good time in that regard.
• Granny, having come back from having been apparently killed, is about to walk into a storm to fight the Magpyres and is obviously overexerted and wounded. Mightily Oats tries to rally the townsfolk of Lancre to help her by asking if it's right to have a poor old woman walk out there alone to fight a whole clan of monsters. The townsfolk ask him why they should care what happens to the monsters. Oats then tries to ask if they'd let anyone walk out alone on a night such as this. One replies that it depends on whether or not he knew where Granny was at the moment.
  • Also, Granny's reaction to this line, which is half mock-offense and half flattered crossed with Actually Pretty Funny.
• Death collecting Thcrapth, before Igor brings him back to life. Death notes that while occasionally people are relieved to see him, this is the first time he's been met with such enthusiasm or, come to that, such a sheer amount of slobber. Death allows Igor to bring the dog back partly because it seems the only way he'll get his scythe back from the mutt. Even funnier when you remember Death is a Kindhearted Cat Lover.
• Count Bela de Magpyr (the Old Count) reminiscing with the townsfolk over all the times their ancestors have killed him, including saying he's got a "good memory for necks" to Granny Weatherwax.
• As Granny Weatherwax is having a near-Death experience, Oats manages to vaguely make out Death and Binky, and recognises what that means, trying to drive them off. After Granny pulls through, Death is put out.
  It wasn't as if I said anything.
• Also while Granny is fighting through the Vampire infection, she's gripping an anvil and transferring her fever into it to the point it's almost glowing hot. She reflects that this is an impressive scene — except that Hodgesaargh has been practical and put a kettle on the anvil to make tea.
• Agnes takes a swing at Vlad, who catches her wrist. So she swings again with her other hand, which he also catches. Then she realises that while Vlad only has two hands, she's still got a foot free. Cue Groin Attack. Also an Awesome Moment
• Vampire watermelons. Nobody's quite sure what the legends say about them, except maybe they suck back.
• The vampire goths, who dress up in normal clothes, call themselves things like Henry, grow their hair short and claim to be accountants.

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