Funny / Burn After Reading

• The entirety of the conversation between Osbourne Cox and Chad Feldheimer (and later Linda Litzke) over the phone.
  Chad Feldheimer: I thought you might be worried...
  Osbourne Cox: Worried?
  Chad: About the security...of your shit.
  Chad: (late in the conversation, after he has already confirmed several times) Osbourne Cox?
  Chad: (after hanging up on a very angry Osbourne Cox) I am very fucking surprised he did not give us that reward.
• "WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING IN HERE, YOU FUCKER?!"
• "I'm not here representing Hardbodies."
• 'I know you. You're in LEAGUE with that moronic woman. You're part of a LEAGUE of morons.'
• "You think it's a Schwinn!"
• Chad's "Hi, please don't kill me" smile before Harry shoots him.
• The ending, where Ted is having his head hacked to pieces, it's all very upsetting... and then the scene cuts to Palmer trying to explain the incident to The CIA Director. It's a very impressive Mood Whiplash, to say the least.
• Any scene where Chad tries to blackmail Osbourne Cox.
• The chair. In addition to the gag itself, it's done amazingly well as the movie sets up what Harry is building as something important. Then he reveals an elaborate sex toy.
• The entire final conversation between the Director and Palmer.
  Director: What did we learn, Palmer?
  Palmer: I don't know, sir.
  Director: I don't fuckin' know either. I guess we learned not to do it again.
  Palmer: Yes, sir.
  Director: ...I'm fucked if I know what we did.
  • Also:
    Palmer: He...shot the analyst. He shot Cox.
    [long pause]
    Director: Good. Great. Is he dead?
• And four words that sum up the movie perfectly:
  Director: Jesus, what a clusterfuck.
• This bit:
  Cox: Now, give me the fucking floppy or CD or whatever the FUCK IT IS, and I'll be on my —!
  Chad: As soon as you give us the money, dickwad!
  (Cox punches Chad in the nose; Chad wipes some blood away)
  Chad: You fuuuuck! *runs out of the car in tears*
• Harry's melodramatic freak-out in the park when he starts to suspect Linda of being a spy. His OTT facial expressions when he starts suspecting every single stranger in the park of being a CIA lookout are hilarious.
  • Made better by the fact that one of them actually WAS a CIA agent.
• A minor one: whenever Linda is talking with the Russian diplomat Kropotkin, she always mispronounces his name as "Mr. Crapkin."
• Harry angrily smashing his rocking chair sex toy with a sledgehammer after finding out his wife is divorcing him; as he smashes it, the hits cause the dildo to bounce up and down in the middle of his melodrama.
• The fact that Chad refuses to call Linda over the phone because it isn't secure...and then immediately attempts to blackmail Osbourne using that same phone.
• The fact that the guy from the law firm observing Harry has to keep reminding him he works for "Tuchman Marsh" and after a while the name gets funnier and funnier to hear.

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