Funny / Berserk Abridged

• Episode 2: Griffith's reaction to Guts fighting in battle and his attempt to cover up his feelings.
  Griffith: Such power and grace. I must have him.
  Red-Headed Member of the Hawks: What was that, sir?
  Griffith: In... my army. I must have him in my army. I covered that up well.
  • "DAMMIT, I THOUGHT I SAID NO MUSIC!" "You said no Johnny Cash — this is Billy Joel!"
  • Guts's dream sequence. All of it.
  Guts: It's almost as if this is a metaphor for something too horrible to contemplate!
  (cut to manga panel of young Guts getting raped by Donovan)
  Guts: Holy crap! Too horrible to contemplate is right! First thing tomorrow, I'm getting back to work repressing this...
  • Guts' first day with the Hawks:
    Judeau: But I don't get it. One minute, Griffith is coming on to you like a fangirl backstage at a Backstreet Boys concert, and the next he's ordering a naked woman to share your tent.
    Casca: Maybe he's playing hard to get.
    Guts: Yeah, or maybe he's hoping one night with you will turn me off of women altogether.
    (Casca decks him)
• Episode 3: The entire rematch, but especially Griffith.
  Griffith: (in a hilariously effete tone) Now say you're my bitch, or I'll dislocate your shoulder.
  Griffith: And now, by some alien logic, I own you, Guts.
  Griffith: Hey, everyone! I own a human life!
  The Band of the Hawk: (Hooray! Cheering!)
• Episode 4: The homoerotic water-fight.
  Guts: Well, I guess it's true what the Republicans say: All it takes is one homoerotic water-fight to turn ya queer. But I still won't sleep with you, because your taste in jewelry is atrooociousss!"
  • "Here, look at my butt for a while."
• Episode 5: "The porn! The porn! The porn is on fire! Everyone retreat, we'll just have to make do with Griffith's back issues of Cosmo!"
  • The advertisement for the Dreamcast game.
  Oh...and Puck's in it. A LOT. ...Have fun with that.
• Episode 6: Zodd telling Guts' and Griffith' futures and comparing Guts to Naruto and Griffith to Sasuke.
• Episode 7: Guts' mercifully short lived musical moment.

  Guts: (As he kicks the crap out of some perfectly innocent guards in a Brock Sampson Comedic Sociopathy moment) I loooovvveee hurting people! I loooovveee beating people up!

  • Also Griffith's reaction to the Naruto comparison above.
  Griffith: Wait, how come I have to be the emo freak? You're like eight times more emo than I am.
• "Hey Griffith, put some pants on! Straight people are here!"
• Episode 12: Guts thinks menstruation is a myth, and that women steal men's bodily fluids to make leprechauns.
  Guts: Hey seriously, you should take a look at that injury between your legs. I'm kinda starting to worry. I tended the rest of your wounds while you were asleep, but I couldn't get that one to stop bleeding.
  • "Governor, I brought you a Pogo Stick!" "Oh Thank you!" "NAUGHTY!"
  • "Oh, now this is just ridiculous! Is there anyone in this show who's not a prostitute?"
  • "Note to self: detecting sarcasm is not one of Casca's strong points."
• Episode 13: Casca debunks another urban legend about women.
  Guts: You know, the enemy could discover us here any moment. This might be a good time to pull out your broom and fly us to safety.
  Casca: For the last time, women can't really fly on brooms!
• Episode 18: "Hey! How am I supposed to gloat when you people are too stupid to realize you're burning to death?"
  • "Dear God, he's a necromancer!"
  • "What's the matter? Got tired of being the only flaming queen in this series?"
  • Then there's the "Ring of Fire" parody Griffith sings during the stinger.
• Episode 20: "See Guts, back then I wanted to become a kindergarten teacher. But it turns out all I was good at was hitting stuff with hammers. So after the lawsuits were settled, I became a blacksmith
• Episode 22: "Damn you demons and your diet pills... DAMN YOU ALL TO HELL!!"
• When Zodd finds out the show is cancelled due to, according to the vampire priest from Hellsing, personal reasons, it didn't go well on the abridger's end...
  Zodd: KNEEL BEFORE ZODD, BITCH! KNEEL BEFORE ZODD!
• From one of the "War of the Abridged Series Creators" videos, when Guts works too well at getting a Cactrot upset.
• As well as the Christmas episode done with a few other abridgers: NAUGHTY! NAUGHTY! NAUGHTY!
• "Hey, come back with my meal ticket!"
  • "Well, that's something you don't see every day: Griffith chasing after a chick."
• The "Ghost of Christmas Past" Griffith in episode 23. Also, regular Griffith's reaction to him.
  "Oh, hell, I'm tripping balls again, aren't I?"
  • Call back to the previous episode, where Griffith hallucinates while in the dungeon.
• In the finale:
  "You, the big black guy. Would you like to sacrifice your friends to become an all powerful demon?"
  "Nah, if I ever kill these crackers it'll be with my bare hands. Thanks anyway."
• The opening song of the first Golden Age movie.
• When Guts discovers Casca is a girl.
  "A chick, huh. Now I feel better about this Raging Stiffie."
• Rosine's messenger bee. All 13 seconds of him.
  Bee: Mortal! I speak for Rosine! Queen of the fairies! My mistress will reward you greatly if you-
  (Judeau throws a knife at the bee)
  Guts: What was that?
  Judeau: Just the wind.
  Bee: You will regret this insult mortal! On the day of the Eclipse I shall personally feast upon your testicl-
  (Knife to the head)
• In the two-part finale, Griffith has a hilarious Oh, Crap! moment when he learns the Godhand can read his mind.
  Griffith: Oh, God! They can hear my thoughts! Don't think about sex, don't think about sex! Meow, meow, meow, meow, meow meow, meow meow...
  • The Godhand then assure him that they are used to "the occasional dirty thought", and insist Griffith open his mind to them... which he does. As it turns out, he is too twisted even for a group of evil demon lords.
  Slan: "Oh. My. God. That's the kind of thing that goes through your head? You're one sick little puppy, you know that?"

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