Funny / Being A ΔΙΚ

As this is a moments page, all spoilers are unmarked per troping policy. You Have Been Warned.

The game takes inspiration from college comedy movies and, as such, has many hilarious moments:

Episode 1: The Initiation

• The intro that pops up when you start up the game for the first time is absolutely brilliant, as DrPinkCake plays the part of a grouchy and horny developer opposite Jill’s Nice Girl, capping off with him admitting that he would show his chest if it wasn’t hairy, then realizing that he forgot to shut the recording off.
• At the start of Episode 1 at the minimart, Steve calls you fuckface, which leads into the part where you input your name to correct him. You can actually input your name as the same one as Steve called you, leading to this:
  Fuckface: Oh, wait...it is...
• During lunch, the MC is working up the courage to ask Josy out, thinking up such openers as "Your top looks great" and "You look radiant today". When Josy walks in on him preparing, he does get out the first opener...only for Josy to remark that both of them are in their work clothes. Then, in attempting to go for his second...
  You: You look like a radiator today!
• A small moment in Episode 1 is when you quit your job at the minimart you worked at over the summer so that you can start going to B&R. Your dad asserts that your boss will miss having you as an employee; Gilligan Cut to him saying "Great! That saves me the trouble of firing you."
• A bit later, when you get ready for your sort-of-date with Josy, you take a shower after a sparring session with your dad. While you're in there, you fantasize about how the night could go. One possible outcome you ponder is Josy letting you "fuck [her] right there". Your dad is awkwardly standing outside hearing the whole thing, forcing you to come to your senses and continue getting ready.
• During the first free roam event of Episode 1, and several times thereafter, your dad constantly tells you that you should use condoms if you can. The first time he does it, it comes out as if he wishes he had used a condom when he and your mother conceived you.
• Soon after you arrive at B&R, you meet your future best friend at college, Derek. His first appearance features him shirtless, asking about booze and parties during a serious school tour.
  • In general, the jokes that Derek makes and the way he delivers them is one of, if not the funniest part of the game.
• Later in the cafeteria, after you meet Sage, Derek tries to banter with you about how hot she is by talking about her boobs. If you indulge him, you'll say that you were actually looking at her ass. He then proceeds to call you Ass Man for the rest of the game.
  • If you choose to "go through the backdoor" with some partners, they can call you out on that nickname.
  • If you call him out for being rude, he'll call you bro instead.
• When you first meet Isabella in the library after meeting Magnar to talk about the Tri-Betas, you can either joke with her or just ask her about getting a library card. If you have DIK status and joke with her, you'll say some crude line that results in Isabella shoving you out of the library.
• After doing the panty raid at the HOTs house and getting kicked out naked by Quinn, you'll eventually run into Isabella, who will help you by giving you spare clothes. You decide to leave college, as it already sucks after just the first day. While sitting on a bench figuring out what you're going to do, campus security comes up to you and asks about a "naked guy running [around campus]". Turns out the guy they're talking about is Derek, who comes out completely nude as soon as he's gone.
• Maya comes by a bit later, and gets into an argument with Derek about letting you stay in her dorm for the night. There's a moment where Derek accidentally uncovers his penis, making Maya scream at him to put some clothes on.
• From the panty raid onwards, some HOTs, mostly Quinn, will start calling you pervert in casual conversation. Regardless of your status/affinity, this usually leads to you getting increasingly pissed off at them calling you that.
• When Quinn proposes that she give you the number to her "restaurant", she asks if you get laid a lot. If you say that you do with DIK status, she'll humor you, otherwise, she'll call you out for lying. If you say that you don't, she'll be confused as to why you wouldn't even lie about it. And if you tell her it's none of her business, she'll assume that it's a no from you and insist that it's her business anyway.
• If you take Quinn's number and buy Riona's services from her, you'll get a blowjob from her through a glory hole in the coed bathrooms. Someone else outside of the stalls hears your moaning and thinks that it's coming from the fact that you're taking a shit.
• When you go to your first gender studies class with Maya and Derek, Jade asks why you and Derek are taking the class. Derek starts to say that he's just taking it for "easy credits and vaginas" before Maya stops him. If you have Huge DIK status, you can choose to say the exact same thing.
• During the minigame for the first gender studies class, you and Dany, your partner, talk about a bunch of stuff. One of the funnier parts is when she openly talks crap about how fat and unhealthy her friend Linda is.
• The ending of the final lewd scene in Episode 1 can be shocking or abrupt to first time players, but for those going through the game again, it can be quite funny when you get tazed right before things get really hot and heavy.

Episode 2: Maggot Brothers

• In Episode 2, you start by being taken blindfolded to the DIK mansion to engage in the CUM-petition. Afterwards, Derek raves about how you guys are basically in with the DIKs. If you give a negative response, you'll say that you still don't really want to join them, eventually leading to Derek hugging you koala style begging you to stay and pledge with him.
• The mere fact that John Boy and Elena don't wear clothes at parties may give a slight chuckle. Later on, in Episode 3, He and Jacob recount how when they went to The Pink Rose for the first time, one of the other guys at the club thought John Boy was a stripper because he wasn't wearing very much clothing, leading to him asking him for a dance.
• When the tri-alphas throw dildos through the DIK mansion windows, you and the rest of the DIKs go and confront them. You have the option of either staying quiet or joking about how the jocks actually use the dildos themselves and didn't just buy/steal them to prank the DIKs.
• Afterwards, when cleaning up the dildos and the mess in general, Derek says that he's never seen so many dildos in one place. You can make a joke about it regardless of status or affinity. The joke is about how there's a bunch of dildos in Maya's (Derek's sister's) drawer. The joke can be funny in the moment but also crosses into "messed up" territory.
  • There's a couple of other times where you can joke about wanting to get with/fuck Maya, all of which result in Derek getting irked at you at best and outright pissed off at worst.
• The next day, when you're raiding the prep mansion to "have some fun" in Tybalt's room, Derek makes a joke about how he feels like a secret agent. You can go along with it or tell him to cut the crap and focus.
• The extent that Derek goes to to mess with the preps is funny in and of itself. From straddling a mounted deer head to putting Tybalt's toothbrush up his ass, there aren't any limits with him.
• When you go back home to see Josy before she leaves, you stop by the minimart to buy her something. On your way out, you hear Steve sobbing in a supply closet. As a major choice, you have the option of comforting him or ignoring him entirely, but either way it can be funny the first time you see that dickhead sobbing by himself.
• The next day, back at B&R, you get a call from Sage after talking with Maya. She tells you to go to the tri-alpha gym so that you can get proof that Chad is cheating on her. How does she know that he and his friends are there? She's looking at them from far away through a pair of binoculars. Even better is when you ask why she has them:
  You: Why the fuck do you own a pair of binoculars?
  Sage: Uhhh... birdwatching...
• When you're in the locker room getting the proof, the way Chad dirty talks to the girl he's cheating with can sound quite stupid. It can make sense, given that he's part of the "dumb jock" squad, but at the same time, he's actually one of the less stupid ones, which makes it a bit more chuckle-worthy when he does say something stupid.
• Whether or not you stay and fight the jocks or you immediately run away, you'll still take a bit of a beating before you leave. When you go back to Sage's place to give her the proof, she notices and asks what happened to you:
  Sage: What the hell happened to you?
  You: Cute outfit.
• Later on, you run into Jill and Isabella doing yoga out on the grass. Eventually you end up doing it yourself, which segues into a cute scene with Jill showing you how to do the different positions. Right in the middle of this cute interaction, Isabella leans over and just stares at you with her trademark resting bitch face.
• After Jill leaves, Isabella decides to give you one more chance by having dinner with you at Luigi's. The whole night out ends up being a shitshow because of how much beer the DIKs make you drink beforehand because you missed the first big weekend at college to go see Josy. Between how stupid you act when you're drunk and how many times you piss off Isabella by calling her Bella, it's one of the funnier scenes in the game.
  *You and Isabella sitting in her car*
  Isabella: Your breath reeks of alcohol.
  You: You are driving really fast.
  Isabella: I haven't even started the engine yet.
• During the free roam event at Isabella's house, you have the option of texting Josy, Maya, and Sage. Given that you're very drunk, you don't really end up saying anything coherent.
  • When you text Josy, you type perfectly, saying "Hey sexy, I'm thinking about you.", but it turns out you actually texted that to your dad, who asks if everything's okay.
  • Maya texts you, saying that she saw how drunk Derek was and got worried about you. Initially, you see the options to either text her that you're fine and say you'll see her soon, or telling her that she's really sweet for caring and that you like her a lot. No matter which one you choose, you just end up texting her gibberish.
  • Sage also texts you, thanking you for the sparring session that made her feel better after confirming that Chad is cheating on her. Like with Maya, you have two possible text options, one nice, the other a bit more flirty. You, of course, end up texting her gibberish either way, after which she asks if you're drunk. You can then try to text her one of two options explaining that you're "fine" that also result in gibberish, one of which literally just makes you text her "3."
• The next morning, you end up taking a ride with Isabella back to campus. On the way, you tell her about how you're taking gender studies, and she asks you why. If you say that you take it to learn more about women's issues, rather than to get easy credits, she'll comment about how you are one of women's issues.
• Later, during the gender studies class, you end up partnering with Linda, Dany's fat friend from before. She opens up with "Why don't boys like me?" and talks about how she's had five boyfriends (they were all imaginary) and even asks you to be her boyfriend immediately after the conversation ends.

Episode 3: 100%

• In the beginning of Episode 3, you're talking with Derek in a mall about how some of the girls that pass by look. The conversation eventually turns to how you two are going to do the tasks for the pledge board, and the first shot of Derek's face you see is of him wearing the dildo helmet.
• If you choose or end up wearing the dildo helmet when it's first offered to you and Derek at the start of Hell Week, Hilarity Ensues as basically every character you talk to when wearing it points out how ridiculous it looks:
  *After you and Jill argue about whether she should take you to the hospital after you and Chad fought*
  Jill: Are you gonna tell me what's with that ridiculous helmet?
  *When you go to the meeting with Jill, Chad and the teachers the next day*
  Stephen: Okay, let's address the obvious thing first; what's with the helmet?
  • For this Trooper, the casual answer "fraternity hazing" sold the scene.
  • In an ironic twist, the helmet will quite literally cockblock you from getting close with Jill during the night, one of the few times picking a DIK choice will deny you a lewd scene.
• The first scene of episode three, in the mall, takes place some time after the end of episode 2. When you get to this scene in "real time", you and Derek do the "gay guard catcher" task from the board. This entails streaking through the mall, having a security guard chase you the whole time. The one that you and Derek do results in Derek farting in the guards face to distract him so that you can get away, as well as you getting slapped by Cathy while you and Derek are running past her and Jade.
  Guard: Lord have mercy, not this year again!
• You have two chances to make fun of Quinn on Rooster in Episode 3. The first is on Maya's cluck showing off her different hairstyle:
  You: At least she could afford an entire haircut. Why did your barber stop at 50%?
  • The second is on Quinn's cluck with her and Maya, and your burn against her is arguably even funnier than the previous one:
  You: Come on, Quinn! Maya is indeed hot, but there's no need to put yourself down like that.
• Later on, in math class, you and Maya are talking about how Derek seems to be taking an interest in Ashley. As soon as Maya comments about how he seems to actually be trying with her, Derek sees Cathy bent over helping a student and he takes a picture of her ass. He then sends it to you, telling you how hot she is and how you should try to fuck her to complete one of the pledge board tasks.
• When you, Derek, and the DIKs go to The Pink Rose for the first time, it gets crazy, especially if you choose to party without limits rather than just letting Derek do the pledge board tasks.
  • If you go really crazy, you can end the night having gotten a lap dance from every stripper in the club (touching them everywhere while they dance), get slapped by Lily for putting a finger in her ass, getting a private dance ending in anal and/or a blowjob from Envy with her signing your dick afterwards, and end up doing a whole line of shots at once, only to wake up naked under your bed in Maya's dorm wearing the dildo helmet.
  DIKs: GAY GUARD CATCHER!
  • One of the funnier parts of the night, though, is the "guess the boobs" contest that you and Derek do. For one, Derek starts off by referring to the girls by descriptions of their boobs, ending with him calling Envy "old boobs". For another, if you guess at least 2 of the boobs correctly, Derek gets a second chance. What he doesn't know is that he ends up touching and even licking Stanley's chest. He's absolutely disgusted.
  Derek: SOMEONE SHOVE A TITTY IN MY MOUTH TO GET RID OF THE AFTERTASTE!!
  • Guessing only 1 or none of the boobs correctly results in you on the receiving end of Stanley's chest instead, leading to you instantly downing some shots in an attempt to wash away the taste.
  You: BEER! I NEED A FUCKING BEER! NOW!
• The next day, when you play Dungeons and Gremlins with the nerds and Jill, you have two chances to have your character spank Magnar's girlfriend's character if you have Huge DIK status.
• Later, in English class, Derek (and you, if you agreed to help), put a used condom into Dawe's shaker to prank him as part of the pledge board tasks. He ends up throwing up all over Arieth when he talks to her in the hallway.
• Some time later, in Gender Studies class, Derek is adamant to be your partner instead of ending up with Wendy again, as he despises her. He starts off talking about vaginas in detail, but carries on the conversation like it's a perfectly normal thing to talk about. Even better is his outburst when Jade separates the two of you.
  Derek: NO! I WANT TO TALK TO MY BUDDY!!! HE AND I WILL SIT HERE AND DISCUSS VAGINAS!!
  *Derek gets partnered with Wendy again*
  Derek: Kill me. Please, just kill me...

Episode 4: When Worlds Collide

• At the end of Episode 3, you will be able to pick from 1-3 people to go to after leaving Josy and Maya's dorm after finding out that they're dating each other. These options are going to Derek and staying in his dorm (always an option), going to Sage and staying at the HOT house (If you got her lewd scene in Episode 3), and going to Isabella and staying at her house (if she decided that she likes you as a result of your actions up until this point in the game). Each branch has its funny moments:
  • In Sage's branch, you and Sage talk the morning after your crash in her room about some of the new HOT pledges. In particular, she asks about Ashley and Lily. You have the option of talking about how Lily is a stripper rather than just saying you and the DIKs know her.
  • In the same conversation, Elena walks into the room and asks "who are you doing here?" as a greeting. You have the option of asking if she's interested, to which she gets annoyed and says she's going to tell John Boy, her boyfriend, that you made a move on her. Later on, at the DIKs party, you can talk to John Boy, and if Elena told him about the "move" you made, he'll actually be happy/impressed about it because, the way he sees it, he must have a hot girlfriend if dudes hit on her.
  • The question is also funny in the context that if you are a massive DIK, living in the HOT House will give you ample opportunities to get to know many of the women there intimately.
  • Back to the conversation with Sage at the beginning of the episode, there's a point where Quinn walks in making fun of the drama between you and Maya. You can promptly tell her to eat shit.
    • If you instead tell her that the joke is getting old, she'll ask if it's the part about her saying that Maya looks like a bimbo that's getting old. You can respond by saying that you'll take a bimbo over a half-shaven mole rat any day (Quinn has a shaven undercut).
  • Later on, in the showers, you hear Sarah and Melanie come in to shower as well. You have the option of telling them that you're showering, which will make them yank the curtain open to try and embarrass you. If you have DIK affinity, you can remain confident, which can ultimately lead to you and Melanie having shower sex. The funny part of this situation is when you and Melanie have to cover up what you're doing when Sarah asks Mel for her conditioner and you why Sage would let you stay at the HOT house.
• Regardless of what branch you choose, you will eventually meet up with Derek on campus if you didn't already go to him at the end of Episode 3. After a conversation about what happened, you have the choice of wearing the dildo helmet or not, but either way, Derek will see a crowd of angry feminists protesting and will proceed to hit them with a bunch of statistics about women in the workplace that he thinks are true. Jade sees all of this and immediately take him to her office.
• If you don't pay Magnar two money tokens to do the wedgie task for the pledge board, Derek will give his roommate one later on in the episode. He immediately gets his ass handed to him in the middle of the hallway.
• Episode 4 has Dawe posting a cluck with him showing off his legs at the gym proclaiming that they don't skip leg day, only for him to immediately contradict himself by replying to Chad that sometimes they have to skip leg day. There's also Anthony's reply of "NO PAIN OR GAIN!" to boot.
  • You can either point out a Not What It Looks Like moment with the mirror or call attention to Anthony's reply.
• If you are Friends with Benefits with Sage, you'll be invited to the HOTs movie night. After the movie, in the bathroom, Sage talks about how there's no way to look attractive when brushing your teeth, to which you agree. She then tests the theory by brushing her teeth while making bedroom eyes. You point out that while that is attractive for her, it wouldn't work for you, and she agrees and says that you probably shouldn't do it. You have the option of doing it, to which Sage bursts out laughing.
• In the Gender Studies class in Episode 4, Maya tries to talk to you about what happened between you, her, and Josy. The serious story beat that this conversation highlights is punctuated with you stating random facts about the girl you're talking to in the class, much like the other sessions.
• When you go on your date with Jill, you open up to her about how you've been dating multiple girls and about what happened between you, Josy, and Maya without getting to specific. She tries cheering you up by making a stupid face, which is both funny and incredibly cute.
• At the DIKs party towards the end of the episode, you run into Mona basically blacked out sitting at one of the tables. After getting her another drink, if you asked Camila to have sex outdoors with you for the pledge board, Mona loudly tells you about how her and Camila both want to have sex with you.
• If you smoke weed with Tommy, Quinn, and Riona on the roof of the mansion, you can potentially end up having sex with Quinn on the roof. Since it's your first time smoking weed, you end up saying a bunch of stupid things that make basically no sense.
  • If you choose to get lewd with Quinn on the roof while high, you, in a surprisingly lucid moment, reject her demand that you pay her for sex. She actually goes along with your proposal to do it just for the fun of it.
• If you have sex with Jade in Episode 4, there will be a point where you'll have Jade against her window with no curtains drawn while a married man who lives in the building across watches through a telescope.
• The car wash is one of the funniest scenes in the entire game, especially when you get it for the very first time. You and Derek are on one "team", while every single HOT pledge is on another. As you can imagine, the HOTs are getting sales left and right, while you and Derek are lucky to get three, one of which is a burly guy that enjoys watching Derek washing his car in his skimpy outfit, and another being an elderly former teacher who Derek will get with if you didn't have sex with Jade or if you did and didn't show him the proof. The whole scene is crafted perfectly in a comedic sense, juxtaposing the HOTs incredible success with their sex appeal with you and Derek in ridiculous outfits barely even getting one.

Episode 5: HOTheaded

• The evaluation at the beginning of Episode 5 has a few golden moments, most of them having to do with the proof of Derek doing the various tasks instead of you:
  • No matter your choices, there will be proof of Derek having sex with Wendy shown, much to Derek's embarrassment
  • If you don't pay Magnar to let you give him a wedgie, Derek will give one to Bert, which counts for the task, but the proof of him doing it also shows him getting his ass kicked immediately afterwards.
  • If you don't have sex with Jade, or do but keep it a secret, Derek will go off with a very old teacher during the car wash to do the deed himself. The proof of this happening is both funny and horrifying.
• During the alphas' Hell Week party in Episode 5, the first shot you see is of Anthony dancing in a way that is a clear reference to Drake's Hotline Bling.
  • Immediately afterwards, Arieth comes onto him, making it seem like they're going to hook up (again), but instead she asks him to introduce her to one of the new alpha pledges, Caleb.
• The way that Tybalt handles himself around halfway normal people is hilarious between him not being able to use simple/casual names with people and the general vocabulary he uses.
• During the first free roam event in Episode 5, you find Riona on the balcony of the prep mansion. You talk about how you and Derek are sneaking in to get the HOTs out of the preps' party, and explain how Derek is inside trying to blend in. Gilligan Cut to Derek laying himself on the bar in extravagant fashion trying way too hard to sound rich and fancy.
• Also during the first free roam event, while trying to figure out what's going on with the HOTs, you run into Sarah, Melanie, and Heather relaxing in one of the preps' baths. All three are naked, but only Heather is even remotely disgusted. Sarah, Mel, and potentially you give her shit for it.
• Later on, you can find Tybalt's phone in his room. You have the option of leaving it alone, checking it to see a photo of him and Jill as the lock screen, or taking a picture of your dick and saving it to his phone.
• After you find the suit, you have the option of going out to the balcony to signal to the DIKs that you're making progress. If you have a CHIK affinity, you give them a thumbs up. If you have a DIK affinity, however, you do so by dancing around the banister like a stripper.
• When escaping the prep mansion, Tybalt catches you before you can cross the security gate. He starts calling you names and telling you to leave. You have the option of sucker punching him on his own porch. Doing so constitutes as a Major DIK choice and will upset both Jill and Isabella later on, but it can be incredibly funny and satisfying to knock out such an annoying, fake posh, momma's boy. The scene even comes with a replay button!
• When talking to Cathy in Bella's house, you try the honest approach. If you have DIK status, you say that even though the picture was spread on the internet, you don't think anybody saw "the good stuff", much to Jill's embarassment.
• Right afterwards, Bella opens up about her hazing experience in the Omega Mu Gamma sorority. Both the MC and Jill burst out laughing at the acronym until Bella tells them to cork it or they're not getting the rest of the story.
• During the second free roam event, one of the new girls you can talk to on Swyper is Paula, a vegan practitioner of nude yoga. You have the option of asking her more about it, which prompts her to send you pictures of her doing various poses. She eventually catches on and blocks you.
• Later on, you do yoga with Jill and Bella, where you have the option of making jokes at several points. Jill loves it, Bella hates it; the whole situation is hilarious.
• Even later, you make pancakes with Bella and Jill. She tells you to use the flipper to flip the pancakes, but you insist that you can flip it without the flipper. Your first attempt sends the half-made pancake flying into the ceiling.
• If you're Friends with Benefits with Sage, you'll get a scene with her in the HOTs backyard. You talk about all that's happened basically since the semester started, including how Arieth has slept with basically every DIK and, potentially, that she gave them all crabs.
  • As she's practicing the guitar, she gets increasingly frustrated at trying to play the G chord, leading to a hilarious outburst from her:
  Sage: Maybe we could...PRACTICE THIS FUCKING G CHORD IN YOUR ROOM!?

Episode 6: Damage Control

• In Episode 6, during the first free roam, you eventually end up in Tommy's room. After a conversation, you have the option of checking what's behind his curtain. Turns out it's Heather, completely naked, and you can even flirt with her if you have DIK affinity.
• In the same free roam, you have to talk to John Boy as one of your tasks before being able to move on. When you go to his room, you walk in on his girlfriend Elena laying naked on his bed. John Boy explains how he enjoys having his room of the mansion in full view of the rest of the house, and it's implied that him and Elena would be fine with having you as a third, though it's not clear if they mean a one-time threeway or polyamory.
• If you fought Caleb in Episode 5, Dawe sucker punches Jamie. In Episode 6, his girlfriend, Dany, will confront you about it. You can either apologize for Jamie's sake or trigger her.
  • Regardless, she'll leave Jamie and you alone to get to class, calling him Jam-Jam as she leaves. You can make fun of Jamie for the nickname.
• In Episode 6, the DIKs get a job working at an old age home. If Derek had sex with the elderly teacher in Episode 4, Tommy cannot control himself from making granny jokes. Derek and Rusty reminding him of the code being called means he has to inaudibly mumble all of his granny sex jokes in rapid succession.

Episode 7: True Colors

• In episode 7, you can help Bella in the library. The main character for some reason becomes a very strict librarian. Sage and Maya have an important conversation, while the protagonist scolds a random student for leaving a book in the wrong place, only to find out later that the student was right after all.
• Three words: "Vodka fanny bullets". It shows how much party withdrawal the DIKs are experiencing by this point that Derek's plan of literally placing a tampon in vodka till it swells up and then inserting it rectally for (alleged) faster alcohol dispersal in the bloodstream seems like a good idea. The whole scene is laugh-out-loud funny, especially given that the MC is off to one side on the couch (joined by Jacob deciding Screw This, I'm Outta Here once he realizes the Ass Shove part) acting as the Only Sane Man first trying not to listen, and then asking somewhat confused questions about whether the rectal route is necessary.
• The fact that you can aim your tennis balls at Tybalt to hit him during the tennis match in Episode 7 is nothing short of highly amusing and cathartic. Hit him all 3 times, and he'll lose his prosthetic teeth, resulting in his speech becoming slurred. This makes his threats and insults toward you in the shower even more impossible to take seriously than ever before. Oh, and he'll still have his slurred speech during his presentation later on.
  • If you don't hit Tybalt with any tennis balls, Bella sees Tybalt staring at Jill while she bends over to pick up a tennis ball. She gets so furious that she hits Tybalt with a tennis ball herself despite telling the MC to not physically harm him beforehand. The MC will call her out on this on their way back, too.
  You: I gotta say, it's nice to not be on the receiving end of these talks.
• Near the end of episode 7, Tybalt makes his big presentation. The whole thing is funny, mostly because not only he considers middle class homes poor (and as Jill points out, one picture shows Bella's house), but he made his assistant do all the footwork. The real punchline comes next: If the MC took a dick pic with Tybalt's phone way back on episode 5, not only is it displayed on a giant screen, but several women in the audience confirm it's him if he had slept with them.

Episode 8: Crossroads

• After the confirmation of Cathy's resignation at the end of Episode 7, Gen Ed at B&R requires replacement teachers. Derek prays for a teacher with "great tits and ass". The first time, the replacement teacher is an overweight male professor; but the second time, the teacher is Isabella. She expresses happiness at everyone having found the new classroom; Gilligan Cut to Dawe sitting, alone, in his spot at the back of the old classroom, apparently confused why no one else is present.
• If the MC is in a relationship with both Maya and Josy, he and Derek go to a store together, and Derek sees MC picking up flowers, candles, and other objects of romantic features. He then sees MC pick up a brand of soda which he recognizes as his sister's favorite brand, and blankly asks MC what he is going to do with his sister. The MC blows him off, and he asks the same question again, and is still left unanswered. Finally, Derek walks away from MC, and MC hears Derek ask it again, this time over the store's sound system.
• Episode 8 features the return of you and Derek getting way too drunk, this time at the dorm party. By the time you wake up, you're sleeping in your bed next to what appears to be a woman in lingerie and panic at the prospect of having slept with someone while drunk out of your mind. Of course, that "woman" turns out to be Derek, and you find out that you got gum stuck in your hair. And peanut butter didn't help in getting the gum off.
• The dialogue you have with the other characters at the dorm party plays out normally enough if you're sober. However, try talking to them after having at least 3 drinks. The dialogue will actually change to reflect your drunken state! Some particularly hilarious parts include making dog sounds along with Elena, dancing in front of Tommy and Nick and telling Tommy that you love him too, and ending your conversation with Sally with "Sayonara!".
  • The absolute highlight has to be with Riona:
  You: Riooooo!
  Riona: Haha! What the fuck? You're hammered! Looking to blow off some steam before the midterms?
  You: Midterms? Rio… Why? Why does it always have to be about studying with you?
  Riona: Haha! It has? Dude, you should chill from now on. No more drinks, ok?
  You: You're absolutely right! I should chill with a drink. Excellent suggestion!
  • Normally, when you speak to Riona, she'll offer you a smoke, you decline her offer (regardless of whether you smoked weed with her or not), and she'll suggest that you get intoxicated. However, the roles are reversed if you’re already drunk. You'll ask for a smoke, she declines your request, and she tells you to lay it off on the drinks.
  • And it doesn't stop there either, as it gets even funnier if you agreed to find her stalker near the end of Episode 7. The scenes where you chase down the stalker at the dorm party go from relatively serious to nothing short of hilarious. Between calling the stalker "cap guy", stopping mid-chase to down even more shots, and burping right at the stalker's face once you catch him, the drunk version of the chase sequence becomes one of the funniest moments this game has to offer.
• During Episode 8 at the DIK's dining table, Heather sees John Boy give Elena his jacket, leading to her asking Tommy for his jacket and getting into an argument with him over it. When she asks the MC for his input, you can have him crack a joke at her expense by repeating the same thing Tommy told her:
  You: Sure. Go get it. It’s in my room.

Interlude: Riding the Waves

Episode 9: Vixens

• Before the Halloween party starts in Episode 9, the MC is trying to find the beer, and he asks Tommy to help look for it. When Tommy tells the MC to say the magic words, he’ll say them if his affinity is neutral or CHICK. If his affinity is DIK, however...
  You: Fuck. You.
• How does the MC cheer Riona up after she's feeling down and telling him that it's nothing? By treating nothing as if it were sentient and stabbing it to "death".
• If the MC is single and kisses Riona after cheering her up, he declares that he slayed "nothing" and saved the princess, and Riona points out that she's actually dressed as a cat. This leads to the following response from him:
  You: Well, I’m not gonna say that I got a boner from making out with a cat.

Episode 10: Calm Before the Snow

• The camping trip becomes one of the absolute funniest parts of the game if you chose to eat a shroom, as Hilarity Ensues throughout the entire free roam. To let you know just exactly what the hell you're in for, instead of the usual "Complete the tasks in the Task app", it opens with "Explore the magic kingdom".
  • The tasks in the task app will be replaced with the following:
    • Talk to the wicked witch (Sally).
    • Greet the blueberry (Zoey).
    • Acquire floating sphere (Derek).
    • Talk to the nude man (John Boy).
    • Talk to the elf (Jill).^note She even appears in her elf outfit from the Dungeons & Gremlins game!
    • Find the white-haired maiden (Quinn).
    • Talk to the druid (Maya).
    • Inspect the rogue (Josy).
    • Talk to Princess Nadia (Sage).
    • Find the Unicorn (Nora).
    • Fend off mosquitoes (Jacob).
    • Find the leprechaun (Nick).
    • Find the shapeshifter (Riona).
    • Find your Queen (Lily).
    • Listen to the mermaid’s song (Isabella).
    • Find the lifeguard (Heather).
    • Find the village idiot (Arieth).
    • Play the Bard's song.
    • Throw the white sphere.
  • If you're on Isabella's route, you pick up her call while hallucinating her as a mermaid singing a song. She assumes that you're drunk and won't remember what she's telling you, prompting her to hang up early.
  • After your conversation with Jill, Sage shows up to greet her, and you end up greeting Sage by cracking the same joke from Episode 1.
  You: Sage…I get it now. It’s an herb!
  • Talking to Sally results in you stroking her cheek several times after she slaps you. Eventually, she pulls a Screw This, I'm Outta Here, but the fact that she doesn't do so right away is funny in its own right.
  Sally: Holy fuck, you drunkard! Is the peroxisome count in your body zero? How does one get this fucked up at a laid-back barbecue party?
  *After she slaps you*
  You: Her hit is effective. It does 5 damage.
  • When John Boy approaches you, you poke his nose, and if you accepted Elena's shot in Episode 8, he'll ask you to rate how sexy she is on a scale from 1 to 10. If you say that she's hot, you'll give her a rating of 500, and if you say she's not your type, you'll hold up five fingers as your response.
  • Throughout the conversation you have with Jacob regarding his feelings for Zoey, you end up slapping him multiple times due to you hallucinating mosquitoes buzzing around him, and you also call him Jackoff for good measure.
  • Your conversation with Nick regarding what he and Heather did at the Halloween party has you initially sitting on the floor instead of the bench and you poking his nose and stroking his cheek.
  • If you went on a date with Nora in Episode 10, she'll call you to break things off with you due to the revelation that you're her student for science class. While the conversation itself plays out normally enough, it becomes hilarious when you hallucinate your phone as a rock and Nora "arrives" to you naked and riding on a unicorn.
  • If you attempt to play Beer Pong against Camila, you end up hallucinating a naked Isabella on the ball.
  You: Balla?
  • After that, you throw the first ball right at Camila's breast and the second ball at Riona's forehead. Cue Curb-Stomp Battle from Camila and you having to strip naked.
  Camila: Wrong cups, MC.
  • And if you refuse to play against Camila?
  You: I AM NEEDED ELSEWHERE!
  • The fact that Quinn of all people hesitates in offering you a smoke if you're on her route. Then she gives it to you anyway after you insist on having it.
  • If you play your guitar at the campfire, you sing a song dedicated to those who are single, and it goes like this:
  You: DON'T BE LONELY ANYMOOOOORE! WHATEVER THEY SAY, YOU'RE BEAUTIFUL!
  • The area with the park bench has dinosaurs looming over.
  • The area with the lake becomes Christmas themed, complete with a snowy background, a Christmas tree, a "Welcome to The North Pole" sign, and a sleigh in the lake.
    • Clicking on the life ring results in you throwing the life ring out to the sleigh in an attempt to save Santa from drowning, only for you to draw the conclusion that Santa can't swim, which means the end of Christmas.
  • And last but certainly not least, the conversation you have with Riona on the park bench if you're single and went on an arcade date with her sees her playing as the only sane woman while you’re still tripping off of the mushroom, and it is both heartwarming and fucking glorious.
  *You're trying to sit down while holding a large branch*
  Riona: There you go. Think happy thoughts. Put that branch away.
  You: But it’s got +5 attack damage against trolls.
  Riona: Put it aside for a moment. I've got all the spells needed to protect you.
  *Riona calms you down*
  Riona: Maybe it's a stupid question, but are you guys having a good time?
  You: Huh? Yeah. Yeah. We ate booze and drank some food. Then a gnome stole some cheese from us. Then we talked about sex and Arieth's pregnancy.
  *You admit that you wish you could grow more body hair*
  Riona: When I looked at that picture of you in the poster, do you know what I saw?
  You: Dinosaurs?
  Riona: No.
  *You offer to have sex with her on the park bench*
  Riona: That's gotta be the shrooms talking.
  You: It probably is.
  Riona: Ok, fuck it.
  • It caps off with you hallucinating Riona as a devil at one point during her lewd scene.