Funny / Batman: Arkham Origins

As a Moments subpage, all spoilers are unmarked as per policy. You Have Been Warned.

Anti-Climax Boss incarnate

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• Enigma is, as usual, insufferable, but he's more sarcastic than outright mad in this game.
  "Oh, boy! You sure showed that grate who's in charge!"
  "Another day, another door. They're just no match for you."
• The Extortion Tapes for The Joker.
  Mobster: Uh... boss?
  "Black Mask": Huh? ...Oh, right, that's me!
• At the beginning of the game, Batman goes to Blackgate Prison to attempt to thwart a prison break. Once there, he finds a bunch of Black Mask's thugs who have Vicki Vale and her cameraman locked in a cell. Naturally, they're surprised to see Batman.
  Vicki: Are we safe in here?
  Cameraman: Relax. I heard on the news that he only hurts criminals.
  Vicki: And you believe everything you hear on the news?
• The prison break itself also qualifies.
  Goon A: The way I see it, Black Mask let us out, so we owe him one. Let's clear this place of guards so he can make a clean escape.
  (Batman drops in and begins to take them down)
  Goon B: I didn't sign on for getting my ass kicked!
  Goon C: Hey! Let us back in our cells!
  Goon D: Where's your Christmas spirit!?
• Alfred, as usual, providing his usual brand of snark.
  • When hearing about the assassins:
    Batman: It’s going to be a long night, Alfred. I just ran into a human-shaped crocodile, who told me Black Mask has hired assassins to kill me.
    Alfred: Assassins? As in more than one? ...And you heard this from a crocodile man?
    Batman: His name is Killer Croc. And he's already behind bars.
    Alfred: I pity his cellmate.
    Batman: I don't.
    • There's also Batman's tone when explaining about Killer Croc. He's so exhausted of this.
  • Alfred gives his opinion on some of the assassins, too.
    Batman: Garfield Lynns, a.k.a Firefly. His obsession will be his end.
    Alfred: How unlike anyone I know.
    Batman: Street tough named Lester Buchinsky. Calls himself "Electrocutioner".
    Alfred: Shocking.
  • As Batman swoops off to prevent an arms deal from taking place:
    Alfred: I hope you'll try to keep a low profile tonight, sir.
    Batman: Trust me, I'll take out those assassins before they even know I'm there.
    Alfred: It's not just that... if some curious child looks out to see who's pattering across their rooftop, they'll expect Santa Claus, not a black-clad bat creature.
    Batman: I don't patter.
    Alfred: (exasperated sigh)
• Batman's attempt at saving hostages early on in the game causes not only the kidnappers to be afraid, but some of the hostages as well.
  Repairman: Screw this! I quit! (runs away)
  • Just a bit earlier in that same sequence, Batman can hear the thugs having a talk with the hostages. The thugs are rather affable in their conversation with the hostages, at one point even asking what the job benefits for a fiber optics repairman are like.
• When trying to ricochet an electrified remote batarang around a tiny room to break an Enigma signal blocker.
  Enigma: I bet it takes a lot of concentration to steer that thing. (starts breaking stuff loudly) WHOOPS! SORRY ABOUT THAT!!!
  • The last two codes for the Enigma signal blockers? "AREUKIDDING" and "UWILLREGRETTHIS".
• The fight against Electrocutioner. He got his own trailer and news articles about him being confirmed, then in-game he comes into the arena, taunting Batman about how easily he will kill him, never once attacks him... only to be knocked out by a single flying kick to the face in front of his shocked audience.^note When he returns to the Batcave, Batman mentions that a child could have avoided that move.
  • It's the Stunned Silence of the crowd that really sells the scene. Tracy hypes him up, he comes down all bluster and gusto. Then you down him in a One-Hit KO and Batman doesn't even consider him more then a speed bump in trying to get to his real target.
    Batman: (after knocking Electrocutioner out, to the crowd) Who wants to show me where the Penguin is?!
  • Especially if you remember that, in a similar instance, that the previous games practically beat that fact that you can't outright punch regular goons wielding electric batons into you, so you spent some time wondering how you're gonna get around his electric gloves.
• It's semi-rare, but sometimes when using the Multi-Ground Takedown, as likely encountered in Arkham City, you can hilarious send poor thugs literally flying across improbable distances when the game engine feels generous enough to do so and every time it happens you're likely to slightly giggle if not internally giggle big time due to the physics acting wonky when the Multi-Ground Takedown and sometimes other attacks do so.
• Upon exiting the Final Offer, a group of Penguin's thugs can be heard discussing what exactly the deal is with Cobblepot's umbrella. Does it contain a hidden gun? A sword? A poisoned tip? A big spiral that hypnotizes people when you spin it around?
• Goons in general have a pretty humorous reaction to finding out that Batman is real.
  "Craaaaaap! The Bat's coming for us!"
  (whimpering) "I hate you!"
• The Joker blowing up a construction site. Because it was blocking his view.
  Batman: How many lives did you just take!?
  Joker: None! ...I think.
  • Even funnier is the Joker's conversation before this:
    Joker: You see, it's a tradition in my house to open one present on Christmas Eve... let's see... how about... this one? [detonates said construction site, then laughs evilly and sings a bit of "The 12 Days of Christmas"] And a partridge in a pear treeee!
    • All the while watching Bugs Bunny's Rabbit of Seville.
• Although Mad Hatter is, as ever, surprisingly terrifying, one conversation as he tries to test out his Mind-Control Device is hilarious.
  Hatter: Everything needs to be perfect.
  Criminal: Of course.
  Hatter: Of course, sir. You must refer to me as sir at all times. Do you understand?
  Criminal: Yes.
  Hatter: Yes, what?
  Criminal: Yes, I understand.
  Hatter: "Yes, I understand, sir."
  Criminal: Yes.
  Hatter: No, sir.
  Criminal: Of course.
  Hatter: Oh, this is (clenched teeth) maddening!
  • Even before that, you're introduced to the Hatter when you emerge from the sewers and run into three thugs in rabbit masks, who sing an invitation to the tune of "London Bridge is Falling Down" while dancing the Robot.
    Criminals: You are very cordially - cordially - cordially - you are very cordially - invited to a party! And it will be a grand affair - grand affair - grand affair - and it will be a grand affair - hosted by the Hatter! We do hope that you can come - you can come - you can come - we do hope that you can come - to share in all the joy! (then all their heads get zapped by the Hatter and they pass out)
  • In some challenge maps Mad Hatter is the enemy's Mission Control. Most of the Enemy Chatter is them complaining about how they are working for an utter nutcase. Plus the occasional comment from a mook who seems to be utterly Sarcasm-Blind towards the Hatter talking about having guests over for tea.
    "Anyone else feel as stupid as I do?"
    "Man, I miss the days when you could lift a TV, pawn it, and call it a night."
    "Does what he just said even make sense to HIM?"
    "Am I the only one who thinks this guy's a bit too nice to be hirin' guys like us?"
    "Did he say there was gonna be pie?"
• Barbara Gordon hacking into Batman's comms without him noticing until after he left. Regardless of the reason she wanted to talk to him being a rather good one, the fact that she apologizes for doing it and not telling him is priceless. Even better, Batman doesn't even respond. It's easy to get the impression that after Killer Croc, he is just done with this night in general.
  • Not only that, but he never once replies to her throughout the entire sidequest. At that point, it wouldn't be surprised if he was just being silent in case she was doing a voice recognition scan.
• As awesome as it is, the sheer extent of the No-Holds-Barred Beatdown of Joker near the end is absolutely hilarious.
  • There's even a single frame◊ of Batman making the most ridiculous angry face imaginable.
• In the ending, Gordon has Batman at gunpoint in more or less broad daylight, and, while still aiming at him, answers his police radio. When he lets it go, Batman has done what he does best.
• One possible line while Batman is facing off against the last remaining thug in a group:
  "Don't hurt me! I had a troubled childhood!"
• When you use the Disrupter to permanently jam the locks to any unopened weapon locker(s), each and every thug not wielding anything in the group will endlessly complain about it whilst fighting you until they're KO'ed after failing to open said weapon locker(s), no bullshit.
  Thug: The guns are stuck in here!
  Thug: Ah, don't do this t' me...!
  Thug: Open up, you piece a' crap...!
  Thug: I can't get to the guns!
  Thug: C'mon, c'mon, open!
  Thug: This can't be happenin'!
  Thug: Who's got the freakin' key to this thing?!
• A most wanted mission you can take after finishing the main story is hunting down escaped Blackgate Prisoners for Gordon. The exchange with one such prisoner before Batman punches his lights out is as follows.
  Prisoner: Jingle Bells... Haha... Batman smells... Hahaha...
  Batman: (in a very irritated tone of voice) No.
  • Even more amusing is that when he calls Gordon to pick the guy up, Batman advises Gordon to bring a muzzle, calling the perp a biter.
  • Before that, the Joker's same funny spoof on "Jingle Bells":
    Joker: Jingle Bells, Batman smells, Gotham's quite a mess! Blackgate's mine and you're out of time, which means you'll soon be dead! [Evil Laugh]
    • Another funny spoof on "Oh Where, Oh Where Has My Little Dog Gone?":
      Joker: Where, oh where has my little Bat gone? Oh where, oh where can he be? His cowl, his scowl, his temper so foul. I do hope he's coming for me. [Evil Laugh]
    • And this Have a Nice Death screen:
      Joker: "Ding, dong, the Bat is dead! Which old Bat? The dumb old Bat! Ding, dong, the dumb old Bat is dead!"
• At one point, Batman has to break into police headquarters. As the number of unconscious cops piles up, announcements from the station's dispatcher about an intruder are made, but she's not actually seeing what's going on, culminating in:
  "Officers at high alert. Suspect is 6'4", dressed in black, and has... wings? (Beat) Is this for real...?"
  • One officer is on his walkie-talkie, admonishing the SWAT team on the roof for not taking the Bat down. Right after he gripes that they should've spent more time paying attention instead of yapping to each other, Batman bursts out of the grate behind him and punches him cold.
  • After Batman ends the prisoner riot started by Branden's men as a means of killing Gordon, you can talk to one of the cops who survived it, whom initially assumes Batman was responsible.
    Cop: I don't get it... You let 'em out just to beat 'em up.
    Batman: I didn't start the riot, it was Branden and his SWAT officers.
    Cop: Bull. A cop wouldn't do something like this.
    Batman: You must be new here.
• During Batman's first fight against Bane, Joker ends up providing running commentary:
  Joker: 'Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the house, not a creature was stirring. Not even a... well, a bat was stirring, but a few more blows to the head, and he won't be anymore! HAHAHAHA!!
• This exchange of Enemy Chatter and "What Are You in For?", overheard when you infiltrate Blackgate Prison the second time:
  Criminal A: Oh man, I can't wait. I'm going straight to O'Kane's, havin' a pint.
  Criminal B: What's it been for you man, eight years?
  Criminal A: Twelve.
  Criminal B: And what they put you in for?
  Criminal A: Drinkin' and drivin'.
  Criminal C: Ha, an' you're gonna go have a pint?
  Criminal A: What are you, the damn parole board? I ain't rehabilitated, and I'm really thirsty.
  Criminal C: Whatever, just don't drive. You could kill someone.
  Criminal A: Yeah yeah, don't worry. What are you in for, anyway?
  Criminal C (matter-of-fact): Manslaughter.
• During the final encounter with the Joker, letting him speak leads to this gem.
  Joker: If you actually let me finish a sentence, you might learn something! You might learn we're not so different. You might even learn something about yourself.
  Batman: You need to learn to shut up.
• "What kinda man hides behind a mask?!" Not so bad if Penguin's boys are saying it. But when the goons are BLACK MASK'S... Well, that's a whole 'nother level.
• If you take long enough when taking out Joker's thugs in the Gotham Merchant's Bank, Joker goes from irritated that Batman's still alive, to gleeful that Batman's deliberately dragging out his dispatching of the goons and making it a performance.
  Joker: Well, it sounds like I can cross "hearing grown men cry" off my Christmas list. Thanks, fellas.
• Post-game, you can find mooks who have defected from Penguin's squad deciding to just act as if they'd never defected since no-one could prove it in the midst of all the craziness of the night.
• There's a conversation between mooks discussing Batman's priorities when it comes to targeting the criminals of Gotham. After reaching the conclusion that Batman should prioritize and take out the likes of Penguin and Black Mask over the nameless thugs, one thug randomly yells out "Y'HEAR THAT, BAT? PRIORITIZE!" and is immediately admonished for doing so since the Bat might be listening. He then counters that it's unlikely that's the case.
• During the Firefly battle, Batman can throw his glue grenade at him.
  Firefly: What's this? Bat spit?!
• In an optional Easter Egg, Bruce can partake in a series of discussions with Alfred about an unusually large and abnormally clever green-eyed bat living in the caverns (hinted to possibly be a former test subject of Kirk Langstrom's, but likely just to be the large bat seen in the opening cutscene). At first disgusted by and fearful of "King Bat", particularly after it makes off with an entire roast chicken and leaves dead rats and guano behind, Alfred eventually develops a rapport with him (offering food in exchange for the creature staying out of the way), and forbids Bruce from trying to apprehend the creature.
  • To make it even more funny, Batman himself states that if he apprehended the so-called King Bat, he intends to either have it as a sidekick or as a mascot. With Alfred being understandably aghast about the idea.
  • Additionally when the King Bat leaves guano behind, it turns out Alfred collected some for analysis ahead of Batman, since if Bruce wasn't going to do something about such a "horror", Alfred would. When Batman all too casually awaits Alfred's results, the butler threatens to feed the stuff to him instead.
  • In one of these optional discussions, Alfred communicates his concern regarding the difficulty in tracking down Enigma due to his seemingly unlimited financial resources and technical mastery, implying it's not Enigma he's really concerned about. Batman doesn't seem to get it.
• When Branden and his SWAT team arrive to arrest the Joker after Batman saves him from imminent death:
  Branden: Don't move, freak!
  Joker: [to Batman] I think he's talking to you.
• Scaring the hell out of mooks in the predator rooms is always fun but two of the best ones is when Bane's thugs are the victims. When Batman takes one down, the others are quick to berate him for his failure:
  Bane Henchman: This is an example of WHAT NOT TO DO!
  Bane Henchman: Learn from this man's mistake!
  • When they get terrified, they resort to hysterical shouting and threatening Batman.
    Bane Henchman: How do I kill you?!
    Bane Henchman: I will DESTROY you, Bat!
  • They also get increasingly annoyed by the Joker's taunting to the point where they loudly yell for him to shut up... of course he ignores it.
    Joker: Any of you boys up for some Christmas Carols? ...anyone? Just me?
  • Bane's mooks in general are just hilarious to listen to; they seem tough and intimidating at first glance, yet tend to scream like little girls when startled. They're like a parody of the TYGER guards of the last game.
• While going through the sewers to get access to GCPD servers, some Mooks are having trouble reuniting in the water treatment part of the underground. Can you say 'communication breakdown'?
  Thug #1: I said, ya gotta hit the button to open the gate!
  Thug #2: Nah, I already ate! Just tell me how to work this thing!
  Thug #1: HIT. THE. BUTTON. TO OPEN. THE. GATE!
  Thug #2: I know I'm late! I just wanna get down there!
  Thug #1: ...Seriously?
• Just look at the thug handing Shiva her envelope during the cutscene. After seeing her completely waste a group of guys without breaking a sweat, he edges toward her as carefully as possible, then scurries away when she has it.
• While infiltrating the hotel, Joker informs Batman that someone is about to get shot. The player naturally rushes around the corner... and directly into range of a sentry gun.
  Joker: A sucker born every minute!
  • If Batman recognizes the danger and disarms the gun from a safe distance first, Joker can't help but show a bit of disappointment, even though he tries to hide it.
  "...Well, this is unfortunate. For you, I mean. For me, it's just... it's just all entertainment."
• The Big Bad acting as CEO of Murder INC.
  "Friends, assassins. Welcome to our first quarterly performance review. As you can see here: Batman deaths are coming in far below projections. We are really going to have to turn this around."
• Shortly after Joker's debut, he makes it clear that he was always a comically Bad Boss from the beginning with this exchange:
  Thug: I'm tellin' ya, he ain't dead!
  Joker: ...I'm sorry, I'm sorry, must be a bad connection. I thought I heard you say that after I SHOT HIM, and BLEW UP a BUILDING ON HIM, THE BAT SOMEHOW SURVIVED!!!
  Thug: If he was dead, there'd be a body. There ain't no body!
  Joker: Since I know that's IMPOSSIBLE, I'm going to reconcile my vision of reality, with your VERSION of reality, and in case your pea-brain can't parse big words, I'll translate it into thug-speak for you: KILL the Bat, OR I'LL KILL YOU!!!
• A game over sequence is basically Black Mask (Joker in disguise) just having a Flat "What" over how easy you died. Made even more hilarious if it's your first game over sequence in the game.
  Black Mask: That's it? All this build-up and he falls over like he's made of sticks?! What an anti-climatic ending! (kicks Batman's corpse)
  • If you lose against Bane as Deathstroke, this can count:
    Bane: After all these years of claiming to be the best, you are beaten by my worst.
  • This brilliant Wicked Cultured gem from Joker:
    Joker: Ding-dong, the Bat is dead! Which old Bat? The dumb old Bat! Ding-dong, the dumb old Bat is deaaaad! Hahahaha!!
• In the Cold, Cold Heart DLC, some of Penguin's goons decide to raid Wayne Manor's wine cellar while they've got the opportunity.
  Thug #1: "Bohr-dee-ucks"? Is that expensive?
  Thug #2: (frustrated) It's not "bohr-dee-ucks"! It's "bohr-dukes".
  • This comment as Batman is trying to locate Freeze:
    Thug: Leave it to you two idiots to start a fire with an ice gun.
  • Later in Gothcorp several henchmen are trapped in a hallway, with the door frozen shut.
    Thug #1: Just remain calm. We'll think of a way out of this.
    Cryo-Thug: Does anyone have a flame thrower?
    Thug #2: ...I think I just got punched in the brain.
  • During the raid on Wayne Manor, Vicki Vale takes a hostage situation as an opportunity to get the scoop on Mister Freeze.
    Thug #1: Will you stop flirting with our hostage? She's using you to get information!
    Thug #2: Yeah, I know, but...It's Vicki Vale, man!
    • Continuing the theme of Gotham City's petty criminals having very poor taste, one of the thugs insists that the Waynes' collection of rare Imperial Chinese artifacts are worthless, due to the books being so old, they're almost falling apart. The jade statue, on the other hand? That's buying him some new rims.
  • The Burnley comms tower is infamous due to the glitched air vent (it's been patched). When you get close to Burnley, which has been closed off from the rest of the city by ice, you can see that the tower has been damaged by the ice so badly that it's fallen over.
  • After being frozen in a wall of ice by Mr. Freeze, Penguin sends you out to retrieve a cryodrill to release him. When you return, several of Penguin's men are already chipping away at the ice, and he is not happy about how long it's taking.
    Penguin: Do you know the first thing I'm going to do when I get out of here? I'm going to have Candy draw me a nice, hot bath... AND THEN I'M GOING TO DROWN YOU IN IT!!!
  • After Alfred suggests to Bruce that the Extreme Environment suit would be more beneficial, Bruce responds that it's not ready for deployment. This coming from the same man who requests experimental gadget after gadget while in the field, which are also supposedly not ready for deployment.

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