Funny / A Thousand Words

• In the beginning Jack sees a long line at the coffee shop. He then comes up with a sly idea to get to the front of the line.
  Jack: Excuse me, mind if I cut in front of you?
  Old Lady: I will run you over dead in the parking lot. Dead, dead, dead.
  [Jack moves to the back of the line; he jerks his cellphone to his ear and pretends to speak into it]
  Jack: Hello? What?! She's in labor?! Look, I can't miss the birth of my first child! I only went out to get some coffee!
  Crowd: Go ahead! Go ahead! Expectant father coming through!
  [the crowd wave Jack to the front of the line]
  Jack: Keep going! I got a baby on the way! [Jack reaches the front line where two burly men glare at him] Twins? It's twins! I'm having twins! [the barista gives him his trey as the crowd continues applauding] It's on the house? Thank you so much! Thank you!
• When Jack tries to chop down the tree with an axe ignoring Sinja's protests. He hits the tree and is sent flying into the garden. He opens his shirt to find a wound in his hip.
  Dr. Sinja: Be glad you don't own a chainsaw.
• In an attempt at a Loophole Abuse, Jack writes a message for his wife before leaving for work to avoid speaking to her. But as it turns out, writing words causes the leaves to fall off the tree as well, prompting Jack to direct the middle finger at the tree upon finishing his message, which also caused it to shed a few extra leaves in mutual spite.

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