In an Establishing Character Moment in the opening credits, Otto is fast asleep with a gun in his hand and a copy of Friedrich Nietzsche's Beyond Good and Evil on his chest. His alarm clock goes off - and he promptly opens fire.
When Wanda introduces Otto (as her brother) to George and Ken, Otto wastes no time antagonising the latter by insulting his stutter and his love of animals. Wanda tries to placate Ken after Otto leaves:
Wanda: I'm sorry about my brother, Ken. I know he's insensitive. He's had a hard life. Dad used to beat him up. Ken:(beat, smirking to himself) Good.
During the robbery, Otto uses a crossbow to disable the locks on the vault door. While George and Ken are rifling through the vault's contents, Otto amuses himself by balancing an apple on one of the employees' heads and preparing to shoot it à la William Tell. George drags him away before he can complete the "performance".
Wanda and Otto have double-crossed George by tipping off the police, and Otto is opening the safe in which George hid the diamonds while Wanda, unnoticed by Otto, is waiting to cosh him once the safe is open... and it turns out to be empty. Otto's reaction is hysterical.
Otto: Okay...okay...DISAPPOINTED! Son of a bitch! What do you have to do in this life to make people trust you!? Wanda: Shut up! Otto: People always take advantage of me! Wanda: Shut up and think. Where has he moved it? (Otto shoots the safe) Wanda: What are you doing? Otto: I'm THINKING! Thinking what I'll do to him. First, I'll hang him up with piano wire...
Otto pretending to be using the toilet when Ken interrupts his tryst with Wanda, who has wrapped a towel around her head and pretended to have just come out of the shower. Meanwhile, Otto sits on the throne with his pants and suspenders on, and then flushes it when Ken comes to check the situation.
Otto realizes there's something fishy between Ken and Wanda. So how does he defuse things? By pretending to be gay of course!
Otto: May I kiss you, Ken? Ken:[squirming out of Otto's grasp, his stutter temporarily vanishing] NO YOU FUCKING CAN'T! Otto: C'mon, just a peck! No tongue!
In a bid to get any information out of Archie that George might have told him about the whereabouts of the jewels, Wanda shows up at his office to seduce him, even after her cover story of being an American legal student falls apart when she admits to being George's alibi. The funniest part comes when Archie's next appointment arrives:
Archie:[answering the phone] Yes? Davidson:[on phone] Sir John is here. Archie: Thank you, please show him in. Wanda:[whispering to Archie] I want you to make love to me. Davidson: Pardon? Archie:[mortified] Nothing! [hangs up]
The charade of Otto pretending to be gay continues while he laughs off the idea that Ken will succeed in killing the Crown's witness to the crime, the bad-tempered, dog-loving old lady Eileen Coady.
Otto: I love watching your ass when you walk. Is that beautiful or what? [to onlookers] Don't go near him! He's mine!
"Touch his dick, and he's dead!" The Brick Joke for that line is hilarious, as Otto is so jealous he actually sneaks into the house, and right where only Wanda can see him (prompting her to mouth "FUCK OFF!"), points at his crotch and gives a "NO!" gesture. The look on Wanda's face really sells it.
The whole scene where Archie's wife is seconds away from discovering his affair with Wanda.
Otto saves the day in his unique way when Wendy demands to know why there's a car blocking their driveway.
Wendy:Whose car is it? Otto:(steps out from behind a door) Mine, it's a beauty isn't it...? Hi. I'm Harvey Manfren-jen-sen-den.
Made more hilarious when Wendy repeats it after not so much poking holes in his cover story as driving a tank through them:
Wendy: My father was in the Secret Service, Mr. Manfred St. John-Smithson.
Otto: Don't call me stupid. Wendy: Why on Earth not? Otto: Oh, you English are so superior, aren't you? Well, would you like to know what you would be without us, the good ol' U.S. of A. to protect you? I'll tell you. The smallest fucking province in the Russian Empire, that's what! So don't call me stupid, lady. Just thank me! Wendy: Well, thank you for popping in and protecting us! Otto: If it wasn't for us, you'd all be speaking German! Singing "Deutschland, Deutschland, uber alles!"
Otto may be gone, but Wanda is still there, and Archie's daughter Portia has found Wanda's necklace. Archie first tries to vacate the crime scene with the sudden, outlandish proposal "let's go to the pub", to which Wendy retorts that they have not done such a thing in years.
His panicked shriek when Wendy closes the drinks cabinet door Wanda had been hiding behind one second earlier.
Archie: I thought the picture was falling.
The attempts to kill Mrs Coady go hilariously wrong in the worst possible way for the animal-loving Ken:
He starts by posing as a meter reader so he can steal an item of Mrs Coady's clothing, give the scent to an incredibly vicious Doberman Pinscher called Maggie, and then sic the dog on Mrs Coady. He opens the doors of the van he is using for cover (which has been shaking in a way that looks as though people are having sex inside), and Maggie barrels out... and grabs one of Mrs Coady's Yorkshire terriers in her jaws instead. Cut to a funeral scene:
Choirboys:Miserere domino... miserere domino... canis mortuus est...note "Have mercy, lord... have mercy, lord... the dog is dead..."
So Plan C is to wait until Mrs Coady exits her front door, then shoot a block and tackle suspending a large piece of masonry over the pavement so that she is squashed under it. Inevitably, it is the remaining Yorkie that gets flattened, which Mrs Coady doesn't notice until she walks off down the road and gets jerked back by the extendable leash reaching its full length.
But fortunately for Ken, this is enough to give Mrs Coady a fatal heart attack. The outraged expressions on the faces of the other onlookers when he starts cheering after a policeman covers Mrs Coady's body with a blanket are the icing on the cake.
Wanda and Archie regarding Otto:
Wanda: He's so dumb. He thought that the Gettysburg Address was where Lincoln lived. [...] And when he heard your daughter's called Portia, he said 'Why did they name her after a car?' Archie How come a girl as bright as you could have a brother who's so... (Otto appears out of the blue and assaults Archie) Otto: Don't call me stupid.
Otto lets loose a stream of profanity after finding Archie and Wanda together, leading a bemused Archie to call him a "true vulgarian". Otto, true to form, has no idea what the word means.
Archie's very lawyer-esque apology to Otto. All while he's hanging upside-down out of a window. For bonus laughs, a crowd has gathered on the ground in the distance to watch.
Archie: All right, all right, I apologize. Otto: You're really sorry? Archie: I'm really really sorry. I apologize unreservedly. Otto: You take it back? Archie: I do. I offer a complete and utter retraction. The imputation was totally without basis in fact, and was in no way fair comment, and was motivated purely by malice, and I deeply regret any distress that my comments may have caused you or your family, and I hereby undertake not to repeat any such slander at any time in the future. Otto: ...Okay.
After Otto has finished holding Archie upside-down out of a window, Wanda gives him a blistering "The Reason You Suck" Speech, mashing her hand repeatedly on his Berserk Button of being called "stupid":
Otto: You said you loved him! Wanda: Right! Here's a multiple choice question for you: (a) Wanda was lying, (b) Wanda was telling the truth. Which one are you gonna pick? Otto: ... What was the first one again?[Wanda groans] You said you weren't gonna see him! Wanda: 'Cause I knew you'd come along and fuck it up! I was dealing with something delicate, Otto. I'm setting up a guy who's incredibly important to us, who's going to tell me where the loot is and if they're going to come and arrest you. And you come loping in like Rambo without a jockstrap and you dangle him out a fifth-floor window. Now, was that smart? Was it shrewd? Was it good tactics? Or was it stupid? Otto: Don't call me stupid. Wanda: Oh, right! To call you stupid would be an insult to stupid people! I've known sheep that could outwit you. I've worn dresses with higher IQs. But you think you're an intellectual, don't you, ape? Otto: Apes don't read philosophy. Wanda: Yes they do, Otto. They just don't understand it. Now let me correct you on a couple of things, OK? Aristotle was not Belgian. [Otto scoffs] The central message of Buddhism is not "Every man for himself." Otto: You mean- Wanda: And the London Underground is not a political movement. Those are all mistakes, Otto. I looked them up.
So Wanda demands that Otto apologise - not to her, to Archie. Otto drives up to Archie's house, rehearsing his "apology":
Otto: Oh, I'm so very, very, very, very s... FUCK YOU!
Meanwhile, Archie is recovering Wanda's locket by staging a burglary of his own house. There's a small moment when he pauses from stuffing things into his sack to smash a porcelain figurine and briefly raises his fist in triumph. You just know he's hated that thing for years and never said a word about it.
Otto hears the simulated burglary, charges into the house, and attacks and ties up the "burglar". And then apologizes for it after he it dawns on him that the burglar called him "Otto". Then repeatedly kicks him for making him apologize. Then apologizes for that.
Otto: I'm sorry. I didn't know it was you. How could I know it was you? I mean, how could you expect me to guess? Stupid jerk. I mean, what the fuck are you doing robbing your own house?!(kicks him some more) You asshole! You stupid, stiff, pompous, English... I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Uh... Yeah. (leaves totally confused)
Wendy arrives, prompting Otto to beat a hasty retreat. Archie quickly gobbles the locket when he realizes he can feign being a victim of burglary. However, he has scheduled a meeting with Wanda to return the locket, so he ignores Wendy's insistence that they call the police and dashes out again, leading Wendy to tell Portia that her father has gone completely mad.
Archie being caught naked in the apartment by a family with four children, prancing around reciting Russian poetry.
There is an extremely long silence that follows. He digs himself deeper by covering his privates with a portrait of the lady of the house, then decides he should be the offended one since he knows the owner of the flat is in Hong Kong.
Archie: Will you leave immediately, please?!
Unfortunately for Archie, the family have just leased the flat from its owner. And then the mother recognises him, as they've met before.
Immediately after Archie breaks things off with Wanda and returns home, Otto shows up to apologize again, after chasing Archie across his lawn, tackling him, and holding a gun to his head. To make it better, Wendy overhears most of the following:
Otto: I understand you wanting to play around with her. It's OK, I was wrong. I'm sorry I was jealous. Just go ahead. Pork away, pal. Fuck her blue.
The entire scene of Otto torturing Ken by eating his fish. It may go into Crosses the Line Twice territory, but it's still funny. Having already stuffed a chip up each of Ken's nostrils, Otto ponders, "What goes with chips?" His Brit-accented "W-yait ay mee-yoa-ment!" is priceless. And then after he eats one fish, Ken tries to stammer "You bastard!" but can only get to the "B" before Otto decides to turn it into "You better try the green ones."
Otto: I'll call this one Lunch. Hello, Lunch! Hello! (eats the fish and grimaces) Ew. Avoid the green ones; they're not ripe yet. (Otto acknowledges it's a sick joke by putting on a hilarious face)
George's trial:
Wanda knocks Archie completely off balance by abruptly changing her story, claiming to have been in George's flat with her brother instead of alone with George:
Archie: Your brother, good and... Y-your brother? Are you sure it was your brother? Judge: Mr Leach, I'm sure Ms Gershwitz can recognise her own brother, after all she's had a relationship with him her whole life.
Archie proceeds to slip up and address Wanda by her first name. He tries to stumble out of this gaffe by turning "Wanda" into "I wonder..." As if that's not bad enough, Wendy, who now knows about Archie's affair with Wanda, is sitting in the public gallery, and Archie's verbal errors multiply:
Archie: I Wendy...I Wanda...I wonder...
When Archie asks Wanda how she was so sure George left the flat early enough to have taken part in the jewel heist, she lands an epic double-cross on George, derailing the trial completely:
Wanda: Because I looked at the clock. I remember looking at the clock and thinking, where could George be going with that sawed off shotgun? Archie:(gobsmacked) Darling! Judge: Mr Leach, "Darling"? Archie: Yes, dear? George: YOU BITCH!! YOU FUCKING BITCH!!! (jumps from his booth, possessed by a homicidal rage)
Archie visits George in his cell after the disastrous trial to get him to reveal where he has hidden the jewels, ostensibly to get him a lighter sentence but actually so he can steal them for himself:
George: Tell them pigs to fuck off! Archie: (turns to the cops, calmly) Fuck off, pigs.
George tells Archie that Ken knows where the jewels are, and George's solicitor, Bartlett, tells him that Ken is back at the flat, so Archie goes there and finds Ken tied up with a pear stuffed in his mouth.
Archie ungags Ken and tries to calmly encourage Ken to tell him where George hid the jewels but, due to time being of the essence, is getting increasingly frustrated until he finally just screams "Oh, come on!" And then sheepishly apologises and starts again, this time having Ken just write it out.
Archie: The Cathcart Towers Hotel? Ken: Cathcart Towers Hotel. (Ken, unseen by Archie, realizes what he just did and gives the sunniest, most amazed smile you could imagine.)
His stutter returns, and he just makes Airplane Arms and landing noises.
Archie: Heathrow Airport.
Archie rides to the airport on the back of Ken's motorcycle, sitting perfectly upright, still prim and proper in his barrister's suit.
The entire Cultural Posturing argument when Otto has Archie at gunpoint on the tarmac at Heathrow Airport.
Otto's faux Brit accent alone is hilarious.
Archie: You're going to shoot me? Otto:(thick, convincing Quintessential British Gentleman accent) Yep, 'fraid so, ol' chap! Sorry!
Otto's outrage when Archie countersnarks his dismissal of the English as not liking winners by mentioning The Vietnam War, insisting "it was a tie!" Archie then counters Otto's accent imitation with one of his own:
Archie: Boy, they whooped yer hide REAL GOOD!
But Otto's attempted murder of Archie is derailed by Ken driving up in a steamroller:
Otto: It's K-k-k-ken, coming to k-k-k-kill me! How you gonna c-c-c-catch me, K-k-k-ken?
Otto: Go ahead! You don't have the guts! [Ken continues driving toward him] Okay you have the guts!
And the payoff, when Ken finally smashes Otto into the wet concrete in which he is stuck:
Ken: HEY! I LOST MY STUTTER! It's gone! I can speak! (proudly) How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?
As Archie and Wanda curl up together on their flight to Rio de Janeiro, Otto is looking in through the window, mouthing "ASSHOLES!" And then the plane accelerates to takeoff speed, throwing him backwards onto the runway with another scream of "ASSHOOOOOLES!"
On the set, Crichton wore a T-shirt presented to him by his pseudo-co-director Cleese and inscribed "Age and treachery will always overcome youth and skill".
. It may go into Crosses the Line Twice territory, but it's still funny. Having already stuffed a chip up each of Ken's nostrils, Otto ponders, "What goes with chips?" His Brit-accented "W-yait ay mee-yoa-ment!" is priceless. And then after he eats one fish, Ken tries to stammer "You bastard!" but can only get to the "B" before Otto decides to turn it into "You better try the green ones."Otto: I'll call this one Lunch. Hello, Lunch! Hello! (eats the fish and grimaces) Ew. Avoid the green ones; they're not ripe yet. (Otto acknowledges it's a sick joke by putting on a hilarious face)