"Lydia Rodriguez Katz, you are so not invited to my Bat Mitzvah."
— Stacy Friedman
You Are So Not Invited to My Bat Mitzvah is a 2023 American family dramedy directed by Sammi Cohen, based on the young adult novel by Fiona Rosenbloom. The film was produced by Adam Sandler and stars his real-life daughters, Sunny and Sadie Sandler, alongside Idina Menzel, Sarah Sherman, Jackie Hoffman, and Luis Guzman.
Stacy Friedman (Sunny Sandler) and her best friend, Lydia Rodriguez Katz, have been eagerly planning her bat mitzvah, also known as the most important day of her life. She envisions a lavish New York-themed party and sharing a dance with her crush, Andy Goldfarb. Her plans quickly unravel when a competition for Andy's attention threatens to derail their friendship.
Previews: Trailer
The film was released by Netflix on August 25, 2023.
You Are So Not Invited to My Bat Mitzvah contains examples of:
- Alpha Bitch: Kym Chang Cohen is a popular and wealthy classmate of Stacy, who befriends Lydia, but acts cold to the less affluent Stacy, Tara, and Nikki.
- Amazingly Embarrassing Parents: Stacy is trying to look cool in front of the popular kids when she runs into them at the movies, but her dad comes out in a bathrobe, kisses her on the forehead, and talks about them snuggling, embarrassing her in front of them.
- Amicable Exes: Lydia's parents are getting divorced and while there's ample snarking between the two, they take Lydia shopping for her dress together, and also arrive together for Stacy's party.
- As You Know: Rabbi Rebecca explains what a mitzvah is to Stacy, which she would already know if she's been going to Hebrew school for years.
- Big Jerk on Campus: Andy Goldfarb is the most popular boy in Stacy's class, with nearly every girl having a crush on him. He's also a complete Jerkass. Part of Stacy's Character Development is her seeing him as this and realizing he wasn't worth ruining her friendship with Lydia
- Bumbling Dad: Downplayed with Stacy's dad Danny. He's not really that dumb, he just doesn't understand his kids as much now that they're growing up. He is the kind of guy to sleep on a couch in the store while his wife and daughter go shopping, though.
- Butt-Monkey:
- Aaron, a classsmate of Stacy, who gets called out by Cantor Jerry and Rabbi Rebecca for not paying attention, and catches the ire of DJ Schmuley by requesting Journey's "Don't Stop Believin'."
- DJ Schmuley gets into two car accidents over the course of the film.
- Chronically Crashed Car: DJ Schmuley's Kia Soul has seen better days after a couple of accidents, both unintentionally caused by the Friedman sisters, render it barely drivable.
- Coming of Age Story: The entire movie centers around Stacy preparing for her bat mitzvah.
- Confidentiality Betrayal: Stacy considers Lydia to have "betrayed" her by getting together with a boy they both like, so she includes embarrassing video clips of Lydia in a slideshow to be shown at Lydia's bat mitzvah. She doesn't go through with it, deciding not to send the file, but her mom doesn't realize Stacy changed it and sends it to Lydia's mom anyway.
- Cringe Comedy: Much of the film relies on it.
- Dodgy Toupee: As seen before Lydia's bat mitzvah, part of DJ Schmuley's pre-party preparation is putting on his toupee.
- Embarrassing Slide: Angry at Lydia's betrayal, Stacy incorporates deeply private clips of Lydia into the video she was supposed to make for Lydia's bat mitzvah. Without Stacy's knowledge, Bree sends it to Lydia's mom and it is played in front of everyone in attendance, humiliating Lydia and ruining her party.
- Embarrassment Plot: Stacy gets embarrassed when her pad comes loose after she jumps off the Edge, and Lydia is humiliated when Stacy included embarrassing videos of her in the bat mitzvah video, and then it gets played in front of everyone.
- Everyone Has Standards:
- Stacy's initial response to Lydia's betrayal is to add several embarrassing private video clips of Lydia to her bat mitzvah video. But after doing so, she decides this would be going too far and decides to just not send her the video at all. Unfortunately, her ignorant mother sends Lydia's mom the video when asked for it, resulting in Lydia being humiliated and Stacy being horrified.
- Upon seeing the embarrassing video Stacy made at Lydia's bat mitzvah, Kym comments that even she's not mean enough to do something like that. It's subverted when her friends immediately tell her that she absolutely is mean enough to do something like that.
- Foreign Exchange Student: One of Andy's friends is an Ecuadorian exchange student, Mateo, who harbors an unrequited crush on Stacy. He stands out among the Jewish cast.
- Green-Eyed Monster: Stacy, when she sees Lydia kissing Andy at her party, leading to a confrontation and the Title Drop.
- Hippie Teacher: Rabbi Rebecca is pretty spacey and dresses like a hippie, even having a Grateful Dead kippah.
- Jerkass: Andy Goldfarb may be popular, but he's also an egotistical, self-centered Spoiled Brat. Even his friends outright tell him that he's a mean person.
- KidAnova: Andy Goldfarb is popular with nearly all the girls in his middle school, and dates at least three of them: Lydia, Stacy, and Kym.
- Making Love in All the Wrong Places: A PG version — Stacy and Andy kiss in the Torah ark at the synagogue. Rabbi Rebecca is not happy when she finds them.
- Nice Guy: Mateo is a sweet boy who helps out younger children at the Hebrew school (despite not even being Jewish).
- Only One Finds It Fun: Aaron is the only kid who enjoys Journey's "Don't Stop Believin'", which earns him mockery from DJ Schmuley.
- "The Reason You Suck" Speech: Stacy abruptly stops reading from the Torah during her bat mitzvah to deliver one, calling out Kym and her Girl Posse, along with Andy for destroying her friendship with Lydia. Stacy herself also gets one from Lydia, which she admits is deserved.
- Running Gag: At every Bar/Bat Mitzvah, Ronnie and her friend Zaara are watching a horror movie on her phone, and two boys come up and try to impress them by asking if they've seen some other film. Each time, they lie and say yes, and that it sucked, just to get the boys to go away. At the end, the four of them are all watching a movie together (still on a tiny phone), and an adult woman fills the role of the pretentious boys.
- Setting Update: The book takes place in 2005, while the film is set in 2023.
- Single Girl Seeks Most Popular Guy: Stacy, along with nearly every other girl in their grade, has a crush on Andy Goldfarb. Over the course of the movie, she realizes he's actually the Big Jerk on Campus.
- Spoiled Sweet: Lydia, who has very wealthy (albeit divorcing) parents and lives in a beautiful home, but often acts as Stacy's conscience.
- Teens Are Monsters: The focus characters are only 12-13 years old middle schoolers, but the film shows just how vicious they can be to each other in their efforts to be popular or get revenge.
- Title Drop: Stacy drops the film's title when she uninvites Lydia after seeing her and Andy kissing at her party.
- What Does She See in Him?: Upon seeing Andy's behavior towards his grandmother, Ronnie is unimpressed and makes her feelings known to Stacy. This leads to Stacy's Jerkass Realization.
