Film / Boys Don't Cry (2000)

Stop being whiny. Boys don't cry.

Chłopaki nie płaczą (Boys don't cry) is a highly successful 2000 Polish crime comedy by Olaf Lubaszenko, starring several famous (in Poland) actors, Maciej Stuhr, Cezary Pazura, Mirosław Zbrojewicz and Michał Milowicz, in the main roles.

On the day of an important exam, Kuba Brenner, an aspiring violinist, is awoken by a voicemail from his girlfriend Weronika informing that she's breaking up with him. Later that day, his car breaks down on the way to the exam, so he comes late. Eventually, the dean Zajączek does not allow him to take it, forbids Kuba from proceeding to the final exam, and withdraws him from the scholarship in France.

Meanwhile, Oskar, Kuba's friend, is seeing a dermatologist for acne treatment. He is suggested that he should have some sex for proper hormonal balance. Being bashful, Oskar finds it difficult to approach girls. Kuba suggests that Oskar should just hire a prostitute. The two set up a visitation at Oskar uncle's house, where his cousin Laska also resides. They order two girls, Lili and Angelika. The girls are brought to the apartment by Czesiek, their pimp. Czesiek returns an hour later for the girls and the money. Oskar gives him 200 złotys, but according to Czesiek, it should be 200 US dollars instead. Because they do not have enough money, Czesiek decides to take a precious golden figure of an African shaman, which belongs to Oskar's uncle, as a collateral.

And so begins crazy adventure of trying to get back the figure, encountering gangsters Fred and Grucha, the mafia family of Szef and Bolec, and various other people. Who will manage to get away alive at the end of the story?

Not to be confused with American biographical film Boys Don't Cry produced around the same time.

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Tropes in this movie are as follow:

• Accidental Hero: The two guys who look for a "wiseguy" in tenement building end up saving Oskar from Grucha by beating the latter up.
• Actor Allusion: Mirosław Baka plays a taxi driver named Cichy. He also provides Kuba with a gun (from his veritable stash of firearms and explosives, along with exhaustive descriptions of their specifications) and claims that "he also once got on someone's bad side", explaining his low-profile lifestyle - which is a reference to Baka's Typecasting of that era.
• Aerith and Bob: Liliana stands out so much by the standards of Poland, even her job alias as Samantha was more common, even if as a Ghetto Name.
• Alcohol-Induced Idiocy: When Weronika shows up in Kuba's apartment for her clothes, he's completely plastered and plays around with the pistol he got from Cichy. Including accidentally releasing the mag out of it. Twice.
  • Also two drunk cops at the end of the movie, not noticing that the guys they flagged down to tow their car are stoned out of their minds.
• All Girls Want Bad Boys: Weronika is looking for a tough macho man and Jarek is a crude simpleton perfect for her expectations of a "strong alpha male". Except he's just some random jerk that's non-stop posturing as a wise guy.
• The Alleged Car: The old, beat-up Volkswagen Beetle owned by Kuba. It never starts, and especially not when needed in a hurry.
• Ambiguous Syntax:
  • Due to the way how it is phrased, it's hard to tell if Kuba's father is deceased, or simply away on a tour with his orchestra.
  • Szef talks in a very specific way that sometimes tends to turn his sentences into question-like constructions, despite not being actual questions.
• Anti-Villain: Bolec, who is only being a gangster for his father, Boss. Kuba later lampshades that when Fred asked to kill him, Bolec was unsure about doing so. Eventually, after a good talk with Kuba, he decides to follow his dreams and start a career in music industry as a producer.
• Artistic License – Gun Safety: Played for laughs and to lampshade how incompetent Bolec is. He manages to shoot Grucha due to lack of care, aiming and common sense, while waving a gun and trying to shoot Kuba. If Grucha wasn't wearing a vest just in case, he would be dead.
• Asshole Victim: Several.
  • Jarek is cocky one time too many, deciding to mess with Fred and Grucha.
  • Czesiek gets shot by Fred for being cheeky, however he survives the attack. Considering that he threatened Oskar and tried to kill him, Czesiek had it coming.
  • Grucha ends up severely beaten by Siwy after he tries to brutally interrogate Oskar about Kuba's whereabouts.
  • At their final encounter, Grucha finally kills his partner Fred for mocking him for his pink sweater and in general just being a dick.
  • During his stay in US, Dean Zajączek finds out about Kuba's success, becoming so furious that he kicks a random car. That car belonged to boys from the hood, who go medieval on Zajączek's ass.
• Awesome Anachronistic Apparel: Siwy is for some inexplicable reason dressed in a vintage plaid suit with a bowtie, making him look like some small-time crook from late 1940s Warsaw. His companion is dressed in completely modern clothing.
• Badass Bystander: Siwy, who beats the living shit out of Grucha and accidentally saves Oskar while running his own little grift.
• Badass in a Nice Suit:
  • Siwy is wearing an old-school plaid suit and has zero problems with beating the crap out of Grucha despite being half his size.
  • Discussed by Fred to mock Grucha’s pink sweater. Deconstructed by Grucha in response.
  Grucha: Maybe this sweater is plebeian, but that's what it's supposed to be. Because unlike you I don’t give a shit what some dude I am about to put down thinks about me. I also don’t think it fucking matters if you kill someone with style or not. […] All I know for sure is that every guy, when you shoot him from just a few centimeters away, can mess up your 3 thousand bucks suit.
• Bait-and-Switch Gunshot: Fred is about to shoot Kuba after making his iconic coin toss. A gunshot is heard as Kuba ducks, but he then realises he wasn't shot. Cut to Fred, as he wobbles on his feet. Cut to Grucha, as he's gangsta-holding a still smoking gun.
• Bavarian Fire Drill: Fred and Grucha get past a ticket booth in the conservatory by just casually walking forward and dropping completely bogus excuses.
  Ticket girl: Regular?
  Fred: I'm a friend of Piasek.
  Ticket girl: Uhh... [Fred is already behind the doors, before she can say or stop him] A-and you, sir?
  Grucha: And I have a Polsat passport.
• Big Bad Wannabe: All three get a reality check in form of being confronted by Fred:
  • The three punks from the opening. They probably would be intimidating when trying to rob an actual defenseless businessman, but Fred proceeds to turn the tables on them with such ease, they are completely overwhelmed in a matter of seconds.
  • Jarosław "Keller" is posing as a menacing, city guy. In reality, he's a total nobody Jerkass that has a hard time intimidating even a waiter, but still projects himself as the big macho man. When trying to threaten Fred and Bolec inside a hair stylist salon, next time we see him, he's beaten up and with half of his head crudely shaven clean.
  • Downplayed by Bolec. He dreams about being a tough gangsta type from a Blaxploitation flick or at least an action movie character, and does his very best to posture as a tough guy. Since they were supposed to make a business deal together, all Fred does is delivering a brutal "The Reason You Suck" Speech.
• Black Comedy: Fred and Grucha accidentally run over some poor schmuck in a hedgehog costume trying to raise public awareness of hedgehogs being run over on the highway. Cue their Seinfeldian Conversation about the likelihood of running over a porcupine in Poland and Polish wildlife and then switching to progressively more outlandish subjects as their discussion continues.
• Blaxploitation: Bolec is a big fan. Ironically, despite easy way to source some, the short clip shown during his introduction was specifically made for the sake of the movie, using black basketball players from Polish league.
• Book Dumb: Laska, for someone being stoned out of his mind most of the time, has life figured out more than any other character in the movie and thus can actually afford his laid-back attitude. Then again, his family is strongly implied to be well-off enough for him not to worry about his future.
• Brick Joke:
  • Angelika tells Kuba how she dreams about having sex with DiCaprio. Later on, when the plot moves to her own apartment, there are huge posters of young Leo on the walls.
  • Laska declares that he doesn't need the police to save his friend. But thanks to a set of crazy coincidences, he ultimately ends up literally driving two traffic cops to the site where Kuba was to be executed.
• Briefcase Full of Money: As a MacGuffin of sorts. Lion's share of the story circles around attempts to take it back from Kuba - except he didn't nick it in the first place.
• But I Read a Book About It: Bolec has no clue how to deal with Kuba when accidentally managing to capture him... but he saw a boatload of gangster movies, so he tries to follow the stride.
• Butt-Monkey: Dean Zajączek is implied as having been that for Kuba's dad and his friends (some of whom are nowadays the members of the faculty) back when they studied together at the conservatory, which is the reason for his seething hatred for Kuba.
• Camp Straight: Bolec loves flamboyant shirts (leopard print included), has a ridiculous hairstyle and goatee and is a complete wuss Manchild badly trying to pretend to be a tough adult.
• The Cavalry: No, not Laska and his friends, but the police they were towing.
• Celebrity Paradox: Paweł Deląg plays Jarosław "Keller". However, at one point, Szef is being interrogated by two police officers in a clear Shout-Out to a TV series "Policemen", in which Deląg was also playing one of the cops.
• Cell Phones Are Useless: Kuba's bulky cell phone is almost out of charge, so all he is able to achieve before it turns off for good is to call Laska who actually does save the day, even if indirectly.
• Chekhov's Gun:
  • Kuba's Alleged Car. He leaves it on the lot next to the nightclub after escaping the shootout on foot. Fred later gets the idea to check it and finds Kuba's signed sheet music inside.
  • The joint Laska gives to Kuba. He ends up giving it to Grucha after Fred throws out the latter's last cigarette.
  • The pink, knitted sweater with a pear on it.
• Comically Missing the Point: Bolec, while looking for a gangster movie to watch with Fred and Grucha, chooses film titled Death in Venice only to disappoint them with "movie about some dude on a boat".
  • During their conversation about reincarnation Fred tries to imply Grucha was an animal in previous life and suggests that Grucha might have just killed his "uncle" by running over some animal. Grucha replies this is impossible, because his uncle works in TV.
• Counting to Three: Fred threatens Weronika with a gun to her temple when negotiating with Kuba to surrender himself.
  Fred: I count to three. [Instantly, in a single breath] Onetwo...
• Cranial Plate Ability: Grucha survives being shot right into the forehead due to having a titanium plate filling in his skull.
  [After the doctor explains the whole thing in a matter-of-fact way]
  Bolec: What is he, a fucking Robocop?
• Crazy-Prepared: Grucha is wearing a ballistic vest when entering the meeting. This is one of the small signs he's a more than just dumb muscle everyone takes him for.
• Dies Wide Open: Fred dies staring at his lucky half-dollar coin after the fateful coin-toss to decide Kuba's fate.
• Dig Your Own Grave: Kuba is forced to do this at a gunpoint. Twice. In the same day. In the same place.
• Dramatic Gun Cock: Bolec does it as he's about to shoot Kuba.
• Dramatic Irony:
  • Szef is trying to take over Fred and Grucha's enterprise. Except there is none - it's a one-time scam planned by Fred, something that audiences know about before they even learn about Szef planning to take it over.
  • Played for laughs when Kuba tells Weronika he recently met few gangsters, too, when she starts to brag about being now a girlfriend of a tough gangster. She admonishes Kuba for believing in fairy tales told by others, while in reality, it is her new boyfriend that's a poser and a wanna-be, lying through his teeth to her.
• Drunk Driver: Stoned, which makes things even worse, if played entirely for comedy. Bąbel is so stoned, he falls asleep behind the wheel, somehow managing to drive for a long while. When Laska wakes him up, he insists he wasn't sleeping at all.
• Dumb Blonde:
  • Weronika is not very bright, to say the least. Kuba seems downright relieved when listening to her voicemail breaking up with him in the opening.
  • Despite his Hidden Depths, Bolec is a male version. He doesn't even check the movie he rents before showing it to his guests and is terrible with gun safety despite being a gangster.
• Earn Your Happy Ending: Kuba achieves his success in music and goes to France, Oskar loses his acne and Lily becomes his girlfriend, leaving the prostitute job. Bolec also finally starts his music career. Downplayed with Grucha, who gets imprisoned for his crimes, particularly killing Fred, but his new girlfriend Angelika visits him.
• Erudite Stoner: Laska. At first he just looks like a carefree skater that likes to smoke weed, but then comes his famous "Answer yourself this one fucking, and I mean really fucking important question" monologue.
• Eskimos Aren't Real: Downplayed. Fred insist there are no such animals like porcupines in Poland, which according to him means there is no way they could run one over.
• Establishing Character Moment:
  • Fred is a self-centered and cock-sure smooth operator that can handle any mess: be it talking religious concepts or dealing with random muggers trying to steal from him.
  • Grucha appears to be kind of a dimwit, but can keep up with Fred most of the time.
  • Kuba oversleeps for his final exam and uses the flimsiest excuse when already there, being in desperate need of growing up.
  • Weronika is unceremoniously portrayed as a vapid bimbo. In fact, it plays on Kuba's establishing moment (her phone call wakes him up), as he couldn't be happier about her breaking up with him.
  • Dean Zajączek mistreats Kuba in his very first scene. He is a jerkass who's harbouring monumental resentment towards people with any kind of success or even a prospect of success, being a mere dean of a conservatory, while his friends made careers in classical music as conductors and tenors - especially Kuba's father.
  • When we see Bolec for the first time, he's busy playing with his dachshund and discussing with his head pimp how Polish gangsters lack flair, then instantly bumbles through a simple phone call with Szef, his father.
• Euphemistic Names: Nicknames of main characters („Fred”, „Grucha”, „Bolec”, „Laska”) are all euphemisms for either penis, masturbation or fellatio.
• Evil Duo: Fred and Grucha, a pair of gangsters from the Coast. Fred is clearly the brains, and Grucha mostly the brawn of the operation, but they are both capable of covering for the other when the situation calls for it. And while it appears they have a Villainous Friendship going on, Grucha learns the hard way Fred was preparing to steal his half of the dough for the bogus deal they were making with Szef.
• Fourth-Date Marriage: Despite barely interacting together, Grucha and Angelika become a couple in zero time. In the finale, she is seen visiting Grucha in prison, where they declare love to each other.
• Funny Background Event: Foreplan, but it still applies. As Fred and Grucha keep arguing about the sweater Grucha is wearing, Kuba keeps putting dirt back into the grave he's digging for himself, trying to earn some extra time.
• Gambit Pileup: Both Fred and Szef are planning to trick the other side in their big deal for smuggling bunch of illegal cars, trying to test the other side. Eventually Fred insists that Kuba nicked the Briefcase Full of Money from the meeting at the Black Lotus club, suggesting he was also trying to double-cross his partner Grucha and sending everyone on a wild goose chase to further gain the merchandise without paying even the 20% that he was originally planning to pay with Grucha and then disappear without ever delivering the rest.
• Geek Physiques: Oskar is lanky, acne ridden and wears glasses in antiquated frames.
• Give Geeks a Chance: Lilly gets genuinely enamored by Oskar due to his geekiness and passion for his hobbies.
• The Glasses Gotta Go: Part of Oskar's "growing up" is him dropping the dorky glasses.
• Hand Cannon: Cichy recommends Kuba a Jericho 941 pistol as particularly powerful, but notes its recoil is so strong it could damage his elbow joints^note In reality, Jericho is famous for it's low recoil. Kuba, who's a violinist, asks for something else.
• Hand Signals: In their final scene together, Grucha and Angelika have an entire conversation using those, as she's standing outside the prison perimeter and Grucha is at the cell's window.
• Heads or Tails?: Fred has an intimidation trick based on making a toss with Kennedy's half-dollar coin. He also uses it when preparing to execute Kuba. The coin lands on heads, but before Fred can react on this, Grucha shoots him.
  Fred: When I'm about to kill somebody, I tell them this: "If it's heads, you win and I spare your life. If it's tails, then you lose, and I win your death"... And it's always tails.
• Hidden Depths: Bolec doesn't actually like being a gangster and even his whole gangsta posturing. When he is about to execute Kuba in the third act, he instead breaks into a tirade about how he would rather be playing guitar and singing ballads to his beloved or go on a stroll to a park, but instead is being forced into the life of a tough gangster due to his father's criminal empire. Even his actual music tastes are far more refined, since he adores pre-war romantic songs.
• Holding the Floor:
  • In the opening, Fred successfully talks the three would-be-robbers, until they drop their guard and he has just enough time to draw a gun and shoot two of them.
  • Bolec does a really bad job at it when trying to distract Fred from questioning Grucha about the shoot-out in the club during their visit to a hair stylist.
  Fred: Focus, Grucha! You have to remember somethi...
  Bolec: [reading a colourful gossip magazine aloud, with badly faked excitement]: Oh gosh! A new banana diet!
• Hollywood Density: Notable aversion. When Czesiek picks up the golden head of the African wizard, he's surprised by how heavy it is.
• Homemade Sweater from Hell: Angelika gifts Grucha with a sweater she made for him. It's garish pink, with equally garish, crude yellow pear ("Grucha" is also an augmentative for "pear" in Polish) stitched on the chest. Fred mocks it thoroughly, but Grucha wears it proudly.
• Hospital Hottie: All the nurses, which are young, very attractive and wearing heels to their borderline naughty, way too short outfits. Fred is even making advances on one of them.
• I Have Your Wife: Well, former girlfriend, but Kuba doesn't want to have Weronika's blood on his hands and agrees to surrender to Fred.
• Iconic Outfit: Grucha's infamous pink sweater, especially combined with shoulder gun holster, reached a memetic status in Poland to the point nowadays you can easily buy one online.
• Imagine Spot: Laska having a flashback about his father explaining to his younger self that everyone needs a toilet seat and thus producing those is going to make him rich. Given that currently his apartment is decorated with art from all around the world, he might actually been into something.
• In-Universe Factoid Failure: Bolec does the classic "suicide ballad" Urban Legend about "To ostatnia niedziela", where guys would order the song to be played by the bar's band and then eat their gun. However, even if he's wrong, it doesn't change the point he's making: it's one of its kind song^note albeit it bears some thematic resemblance to more well known and two years older Gloomy Sunday about unfulfilled love, and it's nothing like the modern pop jingles.
• Internal Reveal: Grucha learns that Fred had the money on him all the time and nobody had stolen the Briefcase Full of Money - but only after already shooting Fred for being such a shitty partner.
• Invulnerable Knuckles: Siwy beats Grucha with his bare knuckles in a way that would draw blood from his own hands. All he does afterward is a few squeezes of his fist, but he is otherwise no worse to wear.
• Irony:
  • By pure chance, Fred and Grucha drive to the exact same spot as Bolec to dispose of Kuba.
  • Fred and his coin toss: the outcome is head, thus Kuba is spared - just not due to Fred's decision, but Grucha shooting his partner, being fed up with his dickhead behaviour.
  • Laska declares that he doesn't need the police to save Kuba and packs his stoner friends to reach Brzózki Stare. Except by random chance, they end up towing two drunk traffic cops, who end up arriving precisely at the site where Kuba is about to be executed.
• It's All About Me: Weronika is incredibly self-centered, to the point you wonder why she and Kuba even hooked up in the first place.
• Jerkass: Fred and dean Zajączek. Grucha also counts, though he gets better as the story unfolds.
• "Just Joking" Justification:
  Grucha: I'm not going to kill you... for now. [Starts to crack when Bolec gets scared, defusing the moment]
• Leaning on the Fourth Wall: Numerous characters talk about impressing their father and maybe being a match to their level of fame. That's both Maciej Stuhr (Kuba) and Olaf Lubaszenko (the director) dealing with being the scions of two famous Polish actors.
• Literal Metaphor: This is how Fred’s relationship with some woman ended.
  Fred: I would give up my arm for her. And you know what? [Dramatic fiddles] Now I would have no fucking arm.
• Look Behind You: How Bolec distracts Grucha long enough to try to shoot him.
• Love at First Sight: Grucha and Angelika instantly catch each other's attention when he's going for a business meeting in Bolec's club and Angelika is dancing on the pole. They even discuss it later, during their casual date. Angelika is also the only thing Grucha remembers about the events prior to the shootout at the club, much to Fred's annoyance.
• MacGuffin: The briefcase full of money and, to a lesser extent, the golden figure of a wizard from Africa.
• Mafia Princess: Bolec, despite being male. He's a complete pushover who's doing nothing but running a small nightclub and watching tough guy movies all day, and it's implied that Szef has to make a bold face for the rest of the city, already writing off his son as a failure.
• Magical Defibrillator: Played with. After hearing about the aforementioned titanium plate, Bolec actually attempts to kill comatose Grucha by applying defibrillators directly to his head, hoping it will fry his brain, since he knows Grucha will implicate him as his shooter if he wakes up. He ends up getting him out of the coma instead, but luckily for him, Grucha doesn't remember who shot him.
• Morality Pet: Angelika is this for Grucha, by giving him a pink sweater that she made, making him soften up a bit and rethink his partnership with Fred.
• Mugging the Monster:
  • When he meets three guys that try to rob him in the gas station's restroom, Fred defends himself with usual I Have a Family talk. It obviously doesn't work, but he wasn't trying to get their pity anyway, just stalling, and once they are distracted, he grabs a gun and kneecaps them.
  • Weronika's new boyfriend also ends up with his head (and apparently not only head) crudely shaven when he tries to mess with Fred and Grucha.
  • Grucha eventually gets on the receiving end of this when he tries to intimidate two minor crooks asking around about a "wiseguy" and tells them to fuck off. One of them (played by a professional boxer) casually caves his shit in and leaves, while his partner loots Grucha's wallet telling him to be more polite next time.
• Mutual Kill: Apparently Grucha and Bolec shoot each other dead. They both get better.
• N-Word Privileges: Bolec affectionatelly calls his head pimp, Czesiek, "czarnuchu", which is the Polish equivalent of "nigger". Keep in mind that not a single person of color is a character in the story and people do get offended by his antics one way or another.
  Czesiek: Bolec, I'd much prefer if you didn't call me nigga.
• Neck Lift: Grucha does this to Oskar after finding his way to his apartment. For his credit, he uses the door frame to support the weight of Oskar, but he still lifts him up.
• Neighbourhood-Friendly Gangsters: Who Bolec ends up being, even if by accident. He scares the living hell out of Kuba and almost executes him over a (still undug) shallow grave in a forest, but ultimately it becomes part of Kuba's motivation to get his shit together and get back into performing.
  [As they are about to part like two good friends] Whatcha laughing about? I'm going to read the papers, watch TV... and if within four years time you don't become a famous violin player... then I shall come back and shoot you.
• Nepotism: It's implied the faculty at Kuba's conservatory is willing to let him attend the exam despite running late because his father is/was a famous conductor. Dean Zajączek objects to this, but only because he has a personal grudge against Kuba's father himself.
• Nerds Are Sexy: The prostitute Lili thinks that Oskar is a weirdo in a cool way, after explaining his love for comicbook ''Captain Wildcat". She says that so far she met rather boring and samey types, and Oskar is really an original one. They start a relationship at the end of the movie, with Lili being pregnant.
• Never Bring a Gun to a Knife Fight: Grucha makes a thinly veiled threat with a holstered gun to Siwy. Siwy apologises and starts leaving the scene, but then he suddenly sucker-punches Grucha and proceeds to beat the crap out of him before he can even think about grabbing the gun.
• Never Bring a Knife to a Gun Fight: In the opening, three punks with a hatchet threaten Fred in a public restroom. He stalls for time, makes them position themselves in the way that suits him, and ultimately distracts them by dropping the key to the suitcase he's chained to - all so he can grap the gun and easily dispatch two of them while kicking third in the face.
• No Ending: While most of characters' plotlines are resolved, story of Laska and his friends end with them realising that they are at the seaside.
  Bąbel: So... any bunkers?
  Laska: No, no bunkers...but still, it's fucking awesome...
  [The camera pans out, revealing they reached the sea shore, hundreds of kilometers away from Warsaw. Cue end credits.]
• No Social Skills: Oskar is incredibly brash in direct contact, easily gets excited and at the same time is a Shrinking Violet.
• Not a Morning Person: Szef complains about Fred constantly calling him at 6 a.m. to ask about the briefcase. He later orders Bolec to start calling Fred at 5.30 a.m., just to be petty about it.
• Not What It Looks Like:
  • As Bolec is still making up his mind about killing Kuba, he drops the following:
  [Kuba is kneeling on the ground, and Bolec cocks his pistol right behind his head]
  Bolec: So you are a musician?
  [Kuba nods]
  Bolec:And you like old Polish tunes?
  [Kuba hesitates, then makes a confused nod]
  [Bolec takes a deep breath, then uncocks the gun]
  Bolec: I have a neat compilation. Come, I'll play it for you.
  [Kuba is so terrified and confused, he just trembles in place as Bolec walks back to his car.]
  • Weronika constantly thinks Kuba is in deep depression after she dumped him, first finding him drunk and playing with a gun, then witnessing him running away on a rooftop from Fred, thinking he's trying to jump out of grief. She becomes The Millstone the second time, nearly getting him murdered.
• Number Two: Silnoręki^note lit. Armstrong is this for Szef, being his top enforcer and the right-hand man. He combines his high competence with just as high loyalty.
• Only Known by Their Nickname Fred (which is an alias), Bolec, Szef, Silnoręki. Averted with Grucha, as he introduces himself to Bolec as Andrzej. And while it is implied to be her actual name, we never learn for sure what's the real name of Angelika.
• Pinball Protagonist: Kuba is most of time escaping from Fred and Grucha and survives them only because Grucha gets fed up with Fred and kills him.
• Politically Incorrect Villain: On top of being an unscrupulous gangster and a con-man, Fred is also misogynistic and racist.
• Pop-Cultural Osmosis Failure: Nobody in-universe seems to be aware of what Death in Venice is about nor even heard about it prior. Hilarity Ensues.
• Porn Names: Might be Lost in Translation, but those names really, really stand out in Poland, especially due to their deliberately foreign forms.
  [Two prostitutes and their pimp walk into the living room]
  The older prostitute: So what's up, I am Angelique and this is Samantha.
• Pretty Fly for a White Guy: Bolec is fascinated with Afroamerican culture and tries to imitate it.
• Product Placement: There is a Drinking Game based on spotting the logo of Nata mineral water. Few other brands are spread around with lingering shots, but Nata just keeps coming back.
• Punk in the Trunk: How Fred packs Kuba for a "trip" to Brzózki Stare. This includes a POV camera from the trunk once they arrive at the place.
• Real Men Wear Pink: Grucha is fully aware his pink sweater is cheesy and makes him look like a clod - but he doesn't care. It's a present from a beloved, and that's all that matters to him.
• "The Reason You Suck" Speech: Fred is prone to dropping those, mostly at Grucha, but later also at Bolec. It eventually gets him killed when Grucha gets fed up with him.
• Reasonable Authority Figure: Rector Rudolf for Kuba, who thanks to him have managed to get approval to go to France at the end of the movie. It is also revealed that he was his father's dear friend.
• Record Needle Scratch: As Angelika starts talking about her time with Oskar and Kuba as a funny anecdote to light up Grucha's mood, she eventually mentions the "wizard's head". Grucha instantly connects the dots, and the cozy, romantic tune in the background takes an instant scratch.
• Rise of Zitboy: Oskar is introduced asking a doctor how to get rid of his acne. His (similarly zitfaced) dermatologist advises him to get laid. Unlike the typical example, Oskar is in his early 20s, making it shameful for him due to already being an adult.
• Sean Connery Is About to Shoot You: The poster. Cezary Pazura, Mirosław Zbrojewicz and Michał Milowicz are all about to shoot Maciej Stuhr.
• Seinfeldian Conversation: Fred and Grucha are spending a lot of time on detailed discussions about things seen by them, leading to unrelated topics.
• Shallow Cannot Comprehend True Love: The iconic line about the sweater is ultimately about this. Grucha doesn't care how awful his sweater looks, he cherishes it because it was a gift from his girlfriend, something which the style-obsessed Straw Misogynist Fred would never understand.
• Shotgun Wedding: Implied at the end of the movie. After getting rid of his acne, Oskar actually tries to break up with Lili, only for her to inform him she's pregnant. Later Kuba asks Oskar if he already told his parents about this, with Oskar replying that he's easing them slowly into the situation.
• Sissy Villain: Fred, at least by the standards of a stereotypical Polish gangster. He doesn't smoke nor does hard drugs, follows a strict diet to stay in good health, is well-read and articulate and also cultivates an image of a Badass in a Nice Suit. This is further contrasted with Grucha, who's closer to the baseline "template" of a rather rough around the edges guy that beats people first, asks questions maybe.
• Sophisticated as Hell:
  • Fred is surprisingly articulate and well-read on various topics for someone who apparently graduated only vocational school.
  • To a lesser extent, Szef, mostly thanks to his actor's elocution making him sound more like an elderly gentleman than a hardened mob boss prone to dropping regular F-Bombs.
• Spotlight-Stealing Squad: While Kuba is the main good character, he is Pinball Protagonist and most of time is focused around villains, Fred and Grucha.
• The Stoner: Laska and his friends. At the end of the movie they get into the car to rescue Kuba from Fred and Grucha, but on their way there they get flagged down by a pair of drunk cops demanding that they tow them. After a while they completely forget about the cop car and, assuming they're being tailed, try to escape, causing the towline to snap and the police car to crash next to Kuba and Grucha just moments after Grucha shot Fred dead. Meanwhile, Laska and his friends also completely forget where they were supposed to go and instead end up on the shores of the Baltic sea, hundreds of kilometers away from Warsaw.
• Straight Edge Evil: Downplayed, since he doesn't seem to have a problem with alcohol, but Fred doesn't indulge in coke and complains about second-hand smoke, forbidding Grucha from smoking in their car and throwing away his last cigarette.
• Suddenly Shouting: Szef is all smiles and easy-going, until he's pushed one time too many.
  [Szef casually lets a long list of insults lobbed at him and his outfit by Fred slide, looking unimpressed]
  Szef: All's good with me.
  Fred: Listen to m...
  Szef: [Switching to surprisingly stern tone] NO, YOU LISTEN TO ME! What happened - happened. No point crying over spilled milk! I could say "no money - no goods". But I want to make business, instead of smelly farts!
• Suspiciously Specific Denial: Remember, Fred and Grucha are not gangsters. They are businessmen. Ironically both Fred and Szef use the exact same wording on two separate occasions.
• Tasty Gold: Czesiek the pimp bites the nose of a golden bust to check if it's actually golden.
• Teeth-Clenched Teamwork/Those Two Guys: Grucha and Fred, with the latter being constantly rude to the former.
• Title Drop: In the opening, when Fred fends off three delinquents trying to rob him in the toilet - by (non-fatally) shooting all three of them. When they naturally start to literally cry for help, he drops this line:
  Stop being whiny. Boys don't cry. [cue the title screen]
• Totally Not a Criminal Front: Szef is running a bogus charity (sending aid to Poles deported by Stalin to Kazakhstan) as a cover for his car smuggling ring.
• Tranquil Fury: Szef is always calm and collected, but that doesn't stop him from being really pissed off at times and tossing profanities like candy. Most notable is his increasing irritation with Fred.
• True Art Is Incomprehensible: Played for Laughs. During their attempts to track down Kuba, Grucha stumbles his way into an experimental music performance by a string quartet. It's a complete mess, further made weirder by the fact that the show continues as Grucha is interrogating the poor guys on stage and yet the auciences go with it as part of the performance.
• Two Lines, No Waiting: The film only starts to connect the two plotlines after first 25 minutes and things only really get connected another 15 minutes later.
• Unfortunate Name: Real surname of Jarosław "Keller" is revealed to be Psikuta, which is (routinely) misread as Psikutas (dog’s dick).
• Unproblematic Prostitution: Angelika discusses this with Kuba, pointing out that for her it's a job as any other. Even including closing her eyes and imagining it's DiCaprio in case of particularly ugly clients.
• "Well Done, Son" Guy: Bolec would love to be appreciated by his father. The film shows him growing to realise that maybe he should actually do something with and for himself, rather than trying to please the old man - and that ends up being what impresses Szef, who actually congratulates Bolec in the end.
  Bolec: I'm 30 years old, and yet I constantly feel as if I was doing school homework. Do you have any idea what sort of pressure it is to be the son of a mafia boss?
• You Can Keep Him:
  • Bolec is surprised to see some kid running around his family mansion and calling Szef "Dad", and asks since when he has a brother. As it turns out, the kid isn't his brother, just a hostage from some rich family who refused to pay the ransom, so Szef decided to keep him around (and, implied, use as a potential spare if Bolec fails to live up to his expectations).
  • Subverted when Fred takes Weronika hostage, trying to force Kuba into surrendering himself. She's probably the last person Kuba cares about... but he simply doesn't want to have her blood on his hands.
• You Need to Get Laid: What kickstarts an avalanche of events unfolding the whole plot is Kuba managing to convince Oskar that he should have sex, even if with a prostitute.

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And the story of this sweater you wouldn't get anyway.

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