Stonewall Jackson: Zombies?! Well, that sounds like slave talk to me, sir!
Abraham Lincoln vs. Zombies is a 2012 historical action comedy horror film written and directed by Richard Schenkman and produced by The Asylum as a Mockbuster designed to cash in on the release of the film adaptation of Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter.
It stars Bill Oberst, Jr. as Abraham Lincoln, who is interrupted while in the process of writing the Gettysburg Address with news of a failed attempt to take a Confederate fort. The sole survivor, who is in the process of turning into a zombie, describes how his squad was decimated by undead Union and Confederate soldiers who "ate their flesh". Knowing straightaway that zombies are the cause, Abe decides to lead a crack squad of Secret Service men to investigate the fort and take it back from the undead menace.
Despite being a particularly bad offender of Anachronism Stew and a blatant ripoff of the Seth Grahame-Smithe book and movie, this movie is surprisingly not that bad as far as movies from The Asylum go. This is likely due to the influence of director Schenkman, best known for previously making the sci-fi picture The Man from Earth, as well as the performance of Bill Oberst Jr. as Lincoln.
Provides examples of:
- 1-Dimensional Thinking: There's one poor sap who could have just stepped off the tracks, but instead he tries to outrun the train and gets run over
. - Artistic License – History: Stonewall Jackson would have been dead at this point and the Secret Service was founded by Lincoln to combat counterfeiting, and was not assigned to protect the President until much later after his death.
- Awesome, but Impractical: Abe's switch-blade scythe.
- Been There, Shaped History: Lincoln meets up with a young Theodore Roosevelt, and inspires his "Walk softly, and carry a big stick" motto that he'll use years later.
- Bittersweet Ending: A year after the zombie attack, Abe is infected by Mary, whom he refused to kill. Knowing that he's going to turn, he intentionally sets up his own assassination by anonymously informing John Wilkes Booth that he'll be at Ford's theater that night. However, Abe did succeed in stopping the zombies from spreading, thus saving the planet from a global epidemic.
- Deceased Parents Are the Best: When Abe was a child, his father killed himself after being bitten by his infected wife, whom Abe was then forced to kill. While not a happy example, the experience did give him the knowledge and skills needed to take on the zombies years later.
- Enemy Mine: Lincoln tries to convince Jackson and the other confederates that the zombie menace is bigger than the Civil War, and that they need to work together to stop it from spreading. While Pat Garret joins him fairly quickly, it takes time for the others to realize he's right.
- Heroic Sacrifice: Stonewall Jackson decides to bring the fire to the powder kegs, after somebody's foot scuffs out the fuse.
- Honor Before Reason: Jackson puts more stock in the Confederate cause then in helping to avert a zombie apocalypse. He eventually changes his mind.
- Idiot Ball: The team's handling of zombies is seldom very bright.
- The Mole: John Wilkinson, AKA John Wilkes Booth.
- Not Using the "Z" Word: Averted, as the zombies are called exactly that.
- Our Zombies Are Different: While generally of the slow, mindless, killed-by-head-trauma variety, these zombies will fall asleep standing up if left alone long enough.
- Our Presidents Are Different: Abraham Lincoln has no qualms about charging into a battle zone to take on zombies.
- Rank Scales with Asskicking: Lincoln has no problem mowing down dozens of zombies single-handedly.
- [Verb] This!: "Emancipate this!"
- What the Hell, Hero?: Lincoln's men are horrified after he kills one of them (who was bitten by a zombie). Justified in that, at the time, they don't know what happens when you're bitten.
- Zombie Apocalypse: A minor one in the town near the fort, but averted overall by Abe's actions.
- Zombie Infectee: Multiple examples, eventually including Mary and Abe.
