Things We Don't Tell Humans
, by Sinead Rivka is an ongoing Transformers Fanfic that follows the Autobots of the 2007 movie series as they learn to trust their new human allies with more and and more of their culture. As they make friendships and form alliances, it becomes plain that both the humans and the Autobots are more alike than they ever could have dreamed, and that the future of the Cybertronian race is far from over. It is organized into Story Arcs.
As of December 30, 2019, the first story in the series: Things We Don't Tell Humans is complete. Some spoilers.
Things We Don't Tell Humans contains examples of:
- Adults Are Useless: Mostly averted, as the grown-up Cybertronians and humans all work together to create a better future for their young charges while also working with them for advice on matters they may not have experience with.
- Aliens Speaking English: Justified; the Cybertronians learned it through the internet and interaction with humans, and share the information amongst themselves. The Cybertronian children don't have the capacity to learn human languages at first, though a few patient humans can get through to them using symbols, tone of voice, and body language.
- Ancient Tomb: The Tomb of the Primes is important during the Revenge of the Fallen arc, and becomes important again when Faust realizes the Primes in the Tomb would have had their own Matrixes with them, not just the one they sealed themselves away to guard.
- Anger Born of Worry: Ratchet's reaction to anyone he remotely likes, given his duties as the chief medical officer of the Autobots and experiences with seeing many of his comrades die in battle throughout his long life.
- Angst Coma: Prowl goes into a catatonic state if he experiences an emotional extreme and/or an event his battle computer can't rationalize. They can get very serious, especially when they involve the life or death of those close to him.
- Awesome Moment of Crowning: Chapter 21: The ascension and renaming of Orion Pax, Ariel, and Megivor to Prime, Prime's Consort, and Lord Protector. Prowl has a badass speech, and even Sentinel Prime's revelation that he's become a Naytheist and can't continue the ceremony only sets the stage for more awesome.
- Badass Bureaucrat: Ratchet is a senator. Also a medic, a war hero, a father several times over, and doesn't take nonsense from anyone.
- Bedmate Reveal: A variation. Wheeljack wakes up wondering why Prowl is in his apartment and giving him an amused look. It takes a moment for it to sink in; he's in Ratchet and Prowl's apartment, he was supposed to have left before Prowl returned, and he was sleeping on the couch with Ratchet in a pretty compromising position.
- Better as Friends: Bumblebee and Barricade initially don't pursue a relationship, as the latter is a spy in the Decepticon ranks and the former is an advance scout for the Autobots. They eventually decide to throw caution to the winds.
- Crossover Relatives: Sam is related to Indiana Jones and Hogarth Hughes, of The Iron Giant fame.
- Culture Clash: This is what drives the original list of "things we don't tell humans". The Autobots are slow to share their views on gender, family, relationships, politics and religion due to how radically different they are from what humanity believes to be normal.
- Deep Cover Agent: Nightbird infiltrated the Decepticons under the identity of Flamewar once the war began, to the point that no one suspected that she was a spy. Barricade is another mole in the Decepticon ranks, but Megatron knows all about him and doesn't mind.
- Dies Differently in Adaptation: Instead of being shot in the head by Optimus Prime via Megatron's fusion shotgun, Sentinel Prime is decapitated by Prowl before his spark is torn out of his body.
- Fighting from the Inside: Megatron, and later Barricade, end up having to fight for their sanity in the Peril Arc after the revelation that many of the Decepticons are infected with restrictive programming that severely handicapped their capability for empathy, twisting them into insane monsters in the process.
- Friendly Address Privileges: Terratron is Master to his students when they're training, Lord Terratron everywhere else, but Terra to his friends.
- It seems only Terratron gets to call Sentinel Prime "Nel" due to their friendship.
- Elita-One occasionally calls Optimus Prime "Orion Pax" as a holdover from their pasts as Orion Pax and Ariel, as do the past Primes due to their omniscience.
- Gender Is No Object: For the Cybertronians, any bot can be capable of a variety of duties regardless of their coded gender, despite the fact that "Femmes" are relatively rare.
- Gender Rarity Value: Femmes are valued as they are the least common of the three genders in a dying race, but they avoid being enslaved or worshiped because they are not strictly necessary to reproduce.
- Good Costume Switch: Barricade is more streamlined and graceful around his Autobot family, and paints himself black so that he isn't confused with his Caretaker, Prowl. After he gleefully scares the pants off Sam, of course.
- Happily Married: Quite a few of the characters enjoy loving and stable relationships. A few examples would be Optimus Prime and Elita One, Ironhide and Chromia, Jazz and Prowl, and Megatron and Nightbird.
- Hard Head: Played for Laughs when Ratchet conks Optimus over the head with his own damaged armor after a fight, as Optimus shrugs off the hit without much issue. Horrifyingly subverted and Played for Drama with the head injury Megatron received in the second film, which has left him with debilitating health issues on top of the gaping hole exposing his brain module to the elements, especially with the conflict between the restrictive programming implanted within him and true self running wild.
- Headbutt of Love: Cybertronian children headbutt to say hello. It seems to be the equivalent of a hug.
- High Priest: Optimus Prime is one of the Priest King variety, serving as the religious and political leader of Cybertron and its people.
- Huge Guy, Tiny Girl: Optimus Prime towers over his sparkmate Elita-One by a sizeable factor.
- In Your Nature to Destroy Yourselves: One of the reasons why the Autobots are wary of sharing their technology is because they fear that humanity may use it to fuel armed conflicts that are even more destructive than what has already happened before.
- Jerk with a Heart of Gold: Ratchet wields his Doctor Jerk persona to make his patients live so they can "stay mad at [him] longer".
- Long-Lived: The Cybertronians are quite long-lived due to their nature as Mechanical Lifeforms. Dana, Tom Banachek, Mikaela, and Sam join this list after they respectively receive nanite therapy and awaken his latent abilities as a Prime, extending their lifespans far beyond what is possible for humans.
- The Mole: Barricade is actually an Autobot Deep Cover Agent within the Decepticon ranks.
- Old Master: Terratron, the Lord Protector of Cybertron before Megatron, is still as experienced in combat as he was in his prime even after the passage of time.
- Mind Rape: Installing restrictive programming (which can create an alternate personality) in someone else's mind is invariably a horrific, invasive process that is rightly seen as abhorrent by many Cybertronians for the mental damage it incurs. It's almost as bad when you do it to yourself.
- Mind Virus: The restrictive programming that Megatron was under is infectious enough to put Barricade out of commission, to the point that it required Ratchet's medical expertise to expunge it from his systems.
- Modest Royalty: Optimus Prime, Elita-One, Megatron, and Nightbird are very much aware of the high status their positions afford them, but they never use it as a tool to demand respect from their allies with.
- More Deadly Than the Male: Elita-One is physically tiny (compared to her mate –she's still huge in human terms). She is also much more violent and downright terrifies Megatron and Sentinel Prime. This seems to be the norm in-universe –a traditional femme frame might not be as strong as a mech's, but it is usually faster and potentially more lethal.
- Obfuscating Insanity: Megatron pretends to be the ruthless, psychopathic Decepticon warlord he was under Shockwave's restrictive programming after the events of the Peril Arc to ensure that his subordinates won't immediately turn on him while he works to bring the Autobot-Decepticon war to an end.
- Only Mostly Dead: Jetfire at the end of Transformers: Revenge of The Fallen still has enough presence of being that the Autobots can bring him back to life by rebuilding him.
- Papa Wolf:
- Optimus scares everyone when he finds out how badly the agents who took Quicksilver in treated him.
- Ratchet tries to shout down a general who keeps disrespecting Prowl.
- Relegated Mentor: Terratron embraces his retirement with grace, dignity, and some enthusiasm since it means he doesn't have to go through so much stress now that his successor has proven themself worthy of being the next Lord Protector. Sentinel Prime, on the other hand, does not.
- Royals Who Actually Do Something: Pre-War Megatron, Optimus, Elita, and Nightbird are well-known and loved on Cybertron for this. They were working-class before becoming the leaders of Cybertron, and they still like doing things with their hands, Optimus especially.
- Ruling Couple: Optimus Prime and Elita-One, as well as Megatron and Nightbird. Despite Optimus and Megatron being the ones with the Matrix/official title, their consorts are held as equal (or at least, equally capable) ruling partners. It's Elita who takes over as leader of the Autobots in the Revenge Arc, rather than Prowl, his second-in-command in the military aspect. Meanwhile, Nightbird, in the disguise of Flamewar, becomes a commander in the Decepticon forces, handing one of the few heroic Decepticon teams.
- Screw Politeness, I'm a Senior!: Skyfire does not mince his words around anyone despite his great age, often speaking his mind however he sees fit around his younger compatriots.
- Shipper on Deck: Ratchet, Wheeljack, Blues, Techni, and Terratron all ship Jazz and Prowl, who in turn ship their son with Bumblebee (Optimus Prime ships it as well), as well as Bluestreak with Sideswipe and Sunstreaker. Optimus Prime also ships Sam and Carly.
- Training from Hell: Barricade and Nightbird went through extremely rigorous training to prepare them for their operations as undercover agents within the Decepticon ranks, including methods of retaining information under any form of interrogation they could be subject to if they were caught.
- What the Hell, Hero?:
- Elita-One calls Sam out on his avoiding responsibility in Transformers: Revenge of The Fallen.
- Ratchet and Prowl call Sentinel Prime out on resurrecting Detrious and then ignoring his unstable mental state, and also waiting to reveal the fact that he's become a Naytheist until the worst (or best) possible moment.
- Megatron, Optimus, and Elita give Sentinel a what-for for breaking into Optimus' office, lying about having called ahead, and interrupting a moment between Optimus and Elita.
- Who Wants to Live Forever?: Dana and Tom aren't worried about this due to having nothing left to lose from their time as Sector 7 operatives, but Sam is due to the possibility of outliving his family and friends.
