After hacking into the CCT network, Cinder finds an unexpected bounty in the form of files from Ozpin's personal computer. She, of course, eagerly takes the opportunity to read them, and finds... Ozpin stealing Glynda's shoes? Getting drunk with Qrow and letting a 15-year-old into Beacon? Betting on the tournament with other headmasters? And is that a shipping grid?!
Maybe Cinder has overestimated her old enemy...
Hack Ozpin's PC and find the fic here
The Ozpin Tropes:
- Adaptational Jerkass: Opzin is a lot more callously incompetent than he is in canon.
- Accidental Misnaming: Ozpin forgets Professor Port's name and calls him Mr. Moustache for a while, and when he later finds out his name, he thinks it's 'Porter'.
- Butt-Monkey: Poor Jaune. Ozpin has no respect for him and allowed him into Beacon just to see if he'd live.
- Comically Missing the Point:
- Immediately after writing that the thief of the Fall Maiden powers might be in the tournament under their noses, Ozpin points out that one of the Haven students is named Cinder Fall... and comments on how stupid the name is.
- Ozpin points out how JNPR's win was heavily assisted by their generated field having sources of electricity for Nora to absorb, and suspects foul play (Cinder had hacked the tournament and was in control of everything), but dismisses it on the grounds of Jaune Arc being too dumb to do something like that.
- Combat Stilettos: Discussed by Ozpin, who wonders how huntresses manage to fight in high heels after he steals a pair of Glynda's to try out.
- Girl on Girl Is Hot: After imagining ways Ruby/Pyrrha or Nora/Pyrrha could come about, Ozpin breaks off and resolves to continue in his journal.
- Hypocritical Humor: Ozpin gets mad at Glynda for chastising him about not being present for the first Grimm invasion, saying he had to finish Beacon's financial report. Earlier on, he delayed that selfsame report to investigate the term 'scrublord'.
- It Amused Me: Why Ozpin seems to do most anything.
- "No. Just… No" Reaction: Ozpin's reaction to the Nora/Yang and Weiss/Jaune ships. The first because it's likely to be horrendously destructive (he comments that if it ever comes to pass he's taking a leave of absence to fight Grimm because it's less likely to kill him), and the second because it's just that hopeless.
- O.C. Stand-in: Three, based on characters that Ozpin likely would have interacted with but had not been shown in canon yet.
- Shade Academy's headmaster (canonically Theodore, based on Dorothy from The Wizard of Oz) is Hamed Goldglow, based off of the Sultan from Aladdin.
- Haven Academy's headmaster (canonically Leonardo Lionheart, based off the Cowardly Lion) is Ahab Periwinkle, based on Captain Ahab from Moby-Dick.
- The third member of team FNKI is Neon Katt's keyboard-playing twin sister, Casio Katt.
- Paranoia Gambit: The story ends with Cinder deciding that Ozpin wants her to think he's an idiot and has a plan in motion, so she delays her attack. The POV then switches to Ozpin, noting that he's bought Ironwood time to deal with Cinder's virus.
- Pointy-Haired Boss: Ozpin steals Glynda's shoes, delays financial reports for silly reasons, and hasn't noticed that Beacon has teachers other than Port and Oobleck.
- Refuge in Audacity: Ozpin gleefully notes that no one will believe Sky Lark that Ozpin called him a scrublord, nor suspect that he's messing with students' love lives.
- Riddle for the Ages: How much of the files is Ozpin Obfuscating Stupidity and playing a Paranoia Gambit on Cinder, and how much is his real personality?
- Shipper on Deck: Ozpin's files on RWBY and JNPR are a shipping grid discussing the plausibility of each pairing for the faculty betting pool. He bets on Ruby/Weiss, Blake/Yang, Pyrrha/Jaune (he thinks they'll break up), and Yang/Pyrrha. He also actively plots to get the latter pairing together, and thinks about putting together Yang/Jaune and Weiss/Nora for personal amusement. He also thinks that Ironwood is having Penny seduce Ruby.
