A one-shot Discworld short by A.A. Pessimal in which Lord Vetinari has to rule on the establishment of a new City Guild and whether or not its chosen name is permissible.
To be found here, at Fanfiction.net
. A slightly expanded, revised and improved version of the story is here, at Archive Of Our Own.
This Fanwork has examples of the following:
- Band of Brothels: Mrs Sandra Battye has in fact secured Guild status for the other sort of Seamstress, the type that actually mends clothes, and is naming it the Guild of Prostitutes, Copulatrices and Working Women.
- Deadpan Snarker: Sandra is able to explain how a seamstress would (quite broadly) fall under the definition of "prostitute, copulatrice and working woman" with a very honest tone. Perhaps also Vetinari.
- Exact Words: It takes a pretty steep amount of wordplay, but Mrs. Battye is able to explain to Patrician Vetinari that seamstress work does sound like prostitution just enough for the Guild to warrant its name.
- Hoist by Their Own Petard: So the Guild of prostitutes does not wishes to be called that? Ok, cool. Let's see how much of a headache they can handle with the confusion of the Guild of non-prostitutes grabbing the name.
- Refuge in Audacity: Sandra Battye's reasons why her Guild should have that name. A seamstress is, quite obviously, a woman that works, she does work for men by going to their places and handling their unmentionables for a price, and "copulatrices" in this case would mean "copulate pieces of fabric to create clothing".
- Unusual Euphemism: Sandra manages to subvert this and subvert it again. Her entire conversation with Vetinari is how she plans to start and expand the city's (actual) seamstress market in terms that make her sound like starting a prostitute ring. Mrs. Rosie Palm (the leader of the actual prostitute guild) can only sputter outrage at all of the wordplay.
