Of Art and Autographs
is a Sherlock Holmes fanfic by KCS.
Watson and Holmes have a disagreement when the detective learns his biographer is participating in a book signing for the romantic stories he so despises. During the event, an unusually meddlesome gentleman drives Watson to the end of his patience, demanding to know why Watson puts up with the detective. Before the night is over, Watson will be doing some detective work himself, and Holmes will have a few things to explain.
This fanfic includes examples of the following tropes:
- Agree to Disagree: A prying gentleman asks if it's true that Holmes hates Watson's writing. The doctor, trying to control his temper, answers that they prefer different styles and have agreed to disagree. The meddler points out that Watson's comments in his stories that Holmes keeps bringing it up gives the lie to that.
- Another Story for Another Time: Watson wraps up the account by mentioning him having to dislodge food from Holmes' windpipe onto the tablecloth right before Mrs. Hudson arrived to announce a client. However, he says that these events and the following ones are another story.
- Backhanded Compliment: Holmes tells Watson that his talent as a writer is wasted on romantic fiction. Watson explicitly calls it a backhanded compliment and is too angry to appreciate it.
- Dramatically Missing the Point: When the meddling gentleman doesn't go away with the rest of the crowd, Watson asks him irritably if he doesn't have friends or family who will be missing him. The man answers that fortunately, he has had the good luck not to have to deal with the pettiness and daily drama involved in such relationships. Watson then retorts that clearly; he's missed the entire point of relationships and it's lucky for everyone else that no one has had the bad luck to be related to or friends with him.
- Dreadful Musician: Played With; though Holmes isn't presented as across-the-board bad, Watson considers the screechy piece of "music" (his own composition) that he's playing at the start completely torturous.
- Funetik Aksent: The author uses misspelled words to indicate the cockney accents of some of the audience.
- Grey Rain of Depression: Watson's argument with Holmes destroys most of his excitement for the book-signing, and the dreary rain as he leaves for the bookshop accentuates his mood.
- Mood-Swinger: Cyril Smythe, the employee in charge of the event, can swing from calm and professional to excited at the blink of an eye. Watson, luckily, finds it amusing.
- Not So Stoic: Despite his normal stoic demeanor, Holmes becomes quite emotional (for him) while trying to patch up his friendship with Watson after the doctor becomes furious at his ruse. His voice becomes rather expressive, and he fiddles with his pipe out of nerves about whether he can explain adequately.
- Offing the Annoyance: Played With. As the story opens, Holmes is playing a hideous composition while standing near the window. Watson hypothesizes that the across-the-street neighbors might shoot the violin if he continues.
- Rewatch Bonus: If the reader doesn't guess who the meddling gentleman is the first time around, a lot of his dialogue takes on a much different feeling on a second read-through. Most striking of all is his statement that despite his study of humanity, he doesn't understand Watson's loyalty to an unworthy, terrible friend like Holmes...which it turns out isn't mockery; it's self-deprecation.
- Sherlock Scan: Watson performs one of his own. When he goes to retrieve his pen from his soaked coat, he notices a strangely familiar get-up hanging next to it. Then he remembers that Holmes said he was staying home and that the tea was still hot, which it wouldn't have been had it been made a while ago. Withdrawing glasses and false hair from the other coat's pocket only confirms his suspicion that Holmes was the meddling gentleman.
- Smug Smiler: When Watson demands how Holmes deduced what he was thinking, the detective smiles smugly. Watson comments that he finds this even more annoying than his superior attitude.
- Spit Take: Inverted; when Watson asks if Holmes would like him to re-address the book with more personal terms than "Best wishes, John Watson", the detective inhales a piece of tart.
- Tranquil Fury: British gentlemen are taught not to row in public, so Watson tries to keep his anger with the prying gentleman quiet. He's boiling mad and sends definite signals to the fellow not to try his patience while smiling and signing books for the other customers in line.
