Naked Singularity
is a My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic fanfic by Cold in Gardez.
Twilight attempts to write a romance novel. Hilarity Ensues.
Contains examples of:
- Argument of Contradictions: Two of the fillies get into one of these after the reading, when they argue over whether a character is named Uncommon or Rarity."When I grow up, I want to be like Uncommon!" one of the fillies yelled from outside.
"Her name's not Uncommon, it's Rarity!" another voice shouted.
"Nuh-uh!"
"Uh-huh!"
"Nuh-uh!"
"Uh-huh!" - Author Appeal: Twilight is inspired to fill her story with science after Fluttershy suggests making it more "personal".
- Bisexual Love Triangle: The titular romance novel has its heroine Evening Glimmer urged to choose between Prism Slash (male) and Uncommon (female). At one point Uncommon suggests that Evening Glimmer should choose her because of the joy only another mare can give her.
- Breathless Non Sequitur: At the beginning, as Twilight feverishly works on her story, she offhandedly mentions "centipedes" as one of her past obsessions before breezing past it.She wondered if she was becoming obsessed. It had happened with her before: magic, friendship reports, centipedes. Probably just part of her personality. Fortunately, her friends were always there to keep her level.
- Cringe Comedy: Much of the humor is derived from Twilight embarrassing herself.
- Deliberately Cute Child: The fillies exploit their cuteness to get customers for their bake sale.[...] the final, largest portion of fillies dispersed into the crowd, looking up at patrons with huge, watering eyes, and asking if they would please consider supporting young, needy, vulnerable foals.
- Double Entendre: The titular manuscript is named after the hypothetical concept of a naked singularity. Of course, being a romance novel, the other meaning of "naked" is intended as well.
- Drama Queen: This is noted to be Rarity's reason for bursting into coffee shops and yelling "Twilight, stop!" as she and the others try to find the one where Twilight's doing her reading. It would be easier to open the door and check to see what was going on first, but she's a bit of a drama queen and went for the more bombastic option.
- From Bad to Worse: Twilight prepares to do a reading of her story at a coffee shop. Then her parents join the audience. Then Cheerilee arrives, chaperoning a field trip for the Canterlot Benevolent Association for Impressionable Young Fillies. Then Princess Celestia joins in.
- Gender Flip: Rainbow Dash's fictional counterpart, Prism Slash, is male.
- Gilligan Cut: When Rarity is about to start reading Twilight's first story, the scene cuts from her telling herself to be open-minded about the story to Fluttershy bluntly telling Rarity that it's terrible.A few pages wouldn't hurt, she told herself. Besides, this was a favor for a friend. What was more generous than helping out a friend? Nothing, that was what.
She lifted the first page into the air before her and began to read.
***
"This is terrible," Fluttershy said. She winced at her own bluntness. "Um, sorry." - Ikea Erotica: Twilight's first writing attempt is extremely wooden and stilted, combining awkward word choices with badly written flirtations.
- Kill It with Fire:
- While discussing Twilight's first story with Fluttershy, Rarity sarcastically dismisses going the honest route and suggesting that Twilight burn it before anybody else sees it.
- After finding Twilight's second manuscript waiting for her on her doorstep, Rarity briefly considers burning down the boutique along with the package.
- Love Triangle: Evening Glimmer has steamy times with Prism Slash and Uncommon, and is urged to choose between them.
- Metaphorgotten: Twilight's novel starts to describe Prism Slash riding Evening Glimmer like a train, and then devolves into a rambling metaphor about train schedules and routes.
- Named by the Adaptation: Twilight's parents, who had yet to receive official names, are named Star Sparkle and Orion.
- Noodle Incident: Twilight mentions "centipedes" as one of her past obsessions.
- Oblivious to His Own Description: Rainbow Dash fails to pick up on the fact that "Prism Slash" is just a male version of herself. It turns out she didn't know what "prismatic" meant.
- Oh, My Gods!: There are a couple exclamations of "Thank Celestia" and "Oh Celestia."
- Purple Prose: The titular story is filled with long scientific tangents and descriptions.
- Romance Novel:
- Twilight's stories are a parody of badly-written bodice rippers.
- Rarity discusses the genre at the start of the fic as she encourages Twilight in her ambitions."You thought they were trashy?" Rarity said. She waved a hoof dismissively. "Twilight, romance novels are the best selling books in all of Equestria. There's nothing ponies want more than to read about the triumph of love over adversity."
- Twilight studies dozens of romance novels as she prepares for her second attempt at writing one.
- Shaped Like Itself: "Prism Slash reared up to his full height, towering over her like a stallion slightly taller than she was."
- Shout-Out: Rainbow Dash flying while reading leads her to bump into, among other things, a cabbage stall.
- Stylistic Suck: Twilight's writing is comically bad.
- Team Switzerland: Fluttershy avoids taking a side in Rainbow Dash and Rarity's argument over whether they have time to get ice cream, specifically stating that she wants "whatever will cause the least interpersonal conflict".
- Write Who You Know: In-universe. Twilight's characters are transparently based off herself and her friends. Twilight Sparkle = Evening Glimmer, Rainbow Dash = Prism Slash, and Rarity = Uncommon. In the latter case, she actually writes "Rarity" instead of "Uncommon" on multiple occasions. This also extends to the town in the story, which is called "Ponyburg" instead of Ponyville.
