"I Never!" is a oneshot fanfic by Rae of Rosemary. It follows Obi-Wan Kenobi's 21st birthday, when he is finally allowed to drink; he invites several friends over to drink. Some of their masters show up as well to keep an eye out on them. They decide to play some drinking games.
While it is hard to find on the internet, it's available some places, including here
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I Never Used the Following Tropes:
- Brain Bleach: The response to every present female having had fantasies about Master Yoda is for everyone (Yoda excepted) to try to drink them away.
- Crack Fic: Jedi playing a drinking game?!
- Fan Disservice: Most of the Jedi present are very squicked out that Bant, Jai and Tahl all had fantasies about Master Yoda. Including Bant, Jai and Tahl.
- I Never: The main premise of the fic is that the Jedi play this. Though they also slip into Truth or Dare at one point.
- Lap Pillow: The fic ends with Obi-Wan laying down with his head in Bant's lap.
- Naked People Are Funny: Mace goes streaking, much to people's amusement. Twice.
- Noodle Incident: According to Yoda, the time he used a mind-trick "involves a pretty lady". Though he refuses to elaborate as "need to hear this story, the padawans do not".
- Not So Above It All: Two council members, Mace Windu and Yoda, participate in the games.
- Tempting Fate: Mace orders Obi-Wan to give him a good dare during the truth or dare round. Obi-Wan dares him to kiss Yoda. He promptly back down and agrees to streak instead.
