how do i admit i'm falling apart
(called how do i admit i am falling apart on Archive of Our Own) is a Sonic the Hedgehog fanfic co-written by king.needlemouse and tekina fiction (with cover art by tekina fiction).
Sonic realizes that she's become more self-conscious lately but doesn't understand why, chalking it up to teenage insecurity until she sees news coverage that famous Extreme Gear rider Wade the Swallow now goes by Wave the Swallow. Everything suddenly clicks in his head after that.
This fic provides examples of:
- Adaptational Gender Identity: Instead of a cis man, Sonic was born as a girl and transitions after the events of Sonic CD. The kick off to his realization comes from Wave - who is presumably canonically cis - coming out as a trans woman.
- Adaptational Modesty: Used for pragmatic reasons; Sonic wears shorts because he thinks just wearing a binder would be weird.
- Adaptation Relationship Overhaul: Sonic is on friendlier terms with Amy than in canon, the two being close friends with Amy's crush being mutual.
- all lowercase letters: The fic's title is written with no capitalization.
- Alternate Universe Fic: Sonic is a trans boy who began transitioning between Sonic CD and Sonic 3.
- Coming-Out Story: The fic is about Sonic realizing he's transgender, coming out as trans, and how it affects his life.
- Elective Mute: Sonic has selective mutism, and he reverts to sign language when he is too fearful or stressed to speak.
- Incompatible Orientation: Subverted; Sonic spends the entire fic worrying that he can't be with Amy because she's a lesbian, but she's actually bisexual.
- Internalized Categorism: Sonic has a lot of self-hatred and dysphoria about being trans, made worse by his crush to Amy, who he thinks is a lesbian that only likes him as a girl.
- LGBT Awakening: Seeing the media's reaction to Wave coming out as a trans woman gives Sonic the spark needed to realize he's a trans boy.
- Patchwork Fic: The work is predominantly based on the games, but the planet is named "Mobius" like in the 1990s non-Japanese media, and Sonic's species is "Mobian".
- Trans Relationship Troubles: Subverted; Sonic worries about coming out to Amy because she's a lesbian and likes him as a girl, but finds his worries were for nothing when Amy reveals that she's actually bisexual, not gay, and likes him for him.
- Trans Tribulations: The main theme of the story is Sonic being a transgender boy, predominantly dealing with his internalized feelings on the matter.
- What If?: The fic's premise is "What if Sonic was a transgender boy?".
