Fanfic / Frank's Night Out

"I woke back up in some kind of janitors supply closet, with a searing pain in my lower half. It took me some time to grasp the situation. Reaching down, I felt my burning groin. It was gone. Reduced to atoms. There was nothing there. I was smooth. So horrifically smooth. MY PENIS was GONE."

This has been the worst night of my life. I can't tell anyone what I have done tonight, not even Manny. Even a 3 year old knows what I've done is horrific... But I can't keep this to myself. That's why I'm writing in this diary. To keep my sanity.

Frank's Night Out is a Dark Comedy Diary of a Wimpy Kid fanfic (also known as LLB (Look-like books) by r/LodedDiper) originally written by u/ToothpickInCockhole for the subreddit r/LodedDiper. The story follows Frank Heffley as he reminisces about what happened last night involving unfortunate circumstances with Robert Jefferson. You can start reading here.

A sequel, Frank At Large, is ongoing.

My TROPES were GONE.

• Adaptational Villainy:
  • While Robert was a Jerkass in the original material, he didn't resort to torture or deal meth unlike his Frank's Night Out counterpart.
  • Frank becomes a lot more psychotic after losing his penis.
  • Susan was a nice if clueless person in the source material, but she's willing to murder her own husband over cheating on her.
• All for Nothing: The lengths to which Frank must go to retrieve his penis, involving the deaths of Robert and Susan, were for naught as she dropped his penis into the acid.
• Armor-Piercing Question: Frank gives one to Robert after Robert reveals his plan to eat Frank's penis.
  Frank: But Robert... wouldn’t that make you GAY?
• Anyone Can Die: Only Frank, Rodrick, Greg, and Rowley make it out alive, and the last three are The Ghost.
• Bald of Evil: Benny has one.
• Big Bad Duumvirate: It turns out that Susan and Robert were working together to get revenge on Frank for his adultery.
• Bond One-Liner:
  Frank: Where are my balls, Benny?
  Benny: R-Robert ate them.
  Frank: WRONG ANSWER, FATASS!

• Disc-One Final Boss: While Robert drives most of the plot, he's later disposed of, and Susan takes center stage.
• Disposing of a Body: The very first page has Frank disposing of a body. It's heavily implied (and later confirmed) to be Susan.
• Disproportionate Retribution: Robert and Susan being willing to castrate Frank over banging Robert's wife definitely counts.
• Downer Ending: Frank successfully kills Susan and Robert but failed to save his penis. To make matters worse, he becomes a serial killer.
• The Dragon: Benny is one to Robert.
• Evil Feels Good: After killing Susan, Frank realizes he loves killing people and the ending implies he's going to become a Serial Killer.
• Eunuchs Are Evil: Seems to be this way regarding Frank, given that he later shoots up most of Frank's guards.
• Face–Heel Turn:
  • Susan after learning Frank was cheating on her.
  • Frank becomes a Serial Killer after the events of the story make him realize how much he loves killing people.
• The Ghost: Rowley, Greg, and Rodrick.
• Jerkass:
  • Manny, as per usual, who spies on Frank when he has sex with Linda, then reveals this to Robert and calls him a "cucktard".
  • Benny helps Robert in his plan, sells Frank's pants, and threatens Frank with a shotgun.
• Pyrrhic Victory: While Robert and Susan ultimately destroy Frank's penis, their lives were lost in the process.
• Refuge in Audacity: Frank escapes from the closet by using the water in a mop bucket to trick Benny into thinking that “his cock hole is leaking”, and then knocks him out with a mop.
• Serial Killer: The ending reveals Frank has become this.
• Shout-Out: During the part where Frank realized what happened to his penis, he makes a statement that "It was gone. Reduced to atoms."
• Slashed Throat: Robert gets his throat slashed by Frank.
• Unwitting Instigator of Doom: Had Manny not reported on Frank cheating on his wife, a lot of things in the story would have not happened, including him being thrown out of Frank's car.
• Wham Line: Page 9:
  Frank: My PENIS was GONE.
  • Page 16 has 2:
  Frank: Linda is DEAD.
  Robert: I am going to EAT your PENIS, Frank.
  • After Robert's death, a mysterious and familiar figure approaches Frank. Frank's words in page 19 reveal who that was:
  Frank: S-Susan?!
  • On page 29, Frank reveals he's succumbed to a major case of He Who Fights Monsters.
  Frank: I can't write where I'm going in case anyone finds this diary, but I'm going to go somewhere nobody can find me. Somewhere I can KILL in peace.
• Woman Scorned: Apparently, Susan didn't take the fact that Frank was cheating on her very well...
• Would Hurt a Child: Frank throws Manny out of his car through the window.