Fanfic / EarthBound: The Celestial Melodies

"Six nerds, a cooler dragon, two sad adults, an alien, and a lot of randomness from a random user."

— The thread's description

EarthBound: The Celestial Melodies is a multiplayer choose-your-own-adventure fanfiction of the Mother series, created by pio_dov. Hosted on the Starmen.net forums, it is the longest-running active thread in the Interactive Games section.

The storyline's mechanics involve the writer creating a narrative followed by a prompt for the participants, who then respond with their character’s dialogue or actions. That dialogue and actions are then incorporated into the next narrative and prompt. As of 2024, the story has ten user-controlled characters.

In the story, the plots of EarthBound Beginnings and EarthBound were real events that occurred. However, the government eventually became weary of the public’s knowledge of aliens and had everyone’s memories erased. They then ordered the stories of what had happened to be turned into video games.

Meanwhile, the aliens, still reeling from their second defeat, came up with a new plan to conquer Earth. In 2005, they abducted two infants from Earth to raise as their own, similar to what they did before, but in reverse. One of the children was raised to excel in playing and composing music, the other to be able to get into a good conversation and casually pull any info from anyone.

13 years later, Dana and Drake Porter, along with their parents, dog, and cat, have just moved to their new apartment in the Eagleland province of Van Clover, a large city in America. As they adjust to their new surroundings, they meet two boys at school: Dov “Pio” Pioneer and Ian Henderson, who reveal that the four of them have psychic abilities and it’s up to them to save the world from the aliens, who are returning once more for vengeance. However, there is more happening in the shadows than the kids realize…

The thread can be found here

This fanfic contains examples of:

• Academy of Adventure: Snow Wood, while still teaching normal academics, is made to be a special learning environment for young psychics. Despite not having its curriculum around the paranormal, it's an ordinary Sunday for students if they spend the day fighting possessed school staff.
• Acid-Trip Dimension: While on a bus heading back from Crafty's store, Dana's jelly beans merge together, the driver and road disappear, and the giant jelly bean tells him it's his destiny to save the world.
  "You, Dana, are a hero chosen by fate to defeat an army of invading aliens. The same aliens from [EarthBound]. You are stronger than you think, and only you can use the incredible power of PK properly-researching-and-presenting-papers-on-obscure-academia."
• Alien Abduction: Dana and Drake's parents are submitted to this.
• Alien Invasion: The main antagonists are aliens.
• All-Stereotype Cast: The Porters are kind Canadians, Ian's a fancy Brit, and Pio and Ham are dumb Americans.
• Ascended Meme: pio_dov once misspelled the word "snacks" as "snakes" in a prompt. The other players referenced this in their responses. One thing led to another, and now Crafty runs an illegal pet shop under his store.
• And Now for Someone Completely Different: Unlike some of the other newer characters that joined the story, Pey's adventure starts in a setting and with characters that none of the readers had any prior information about.
• Another Side, Another Story: Ryler's tale.
• Bag of Kidnapping: Ham get recruited into the EBPI via an extremely 2018 hipster variation of this (a chloroform-filled New Yorker tote bag).
• Brainwashed and Crazy: The Vice Principal, who acts as the first "Sanctuary Guardian" for Dana and Drake upon attacking them in their dorm room. After defeating him, his eyes turn from bright orange to normal white and he reveals he had just woken from a nap and had no memory of coming there. The two boys gain a strange piece of film with music written on it upon his defeat.
• Calling Your Attacks: The characters are required to do this to use their PSI. This isn't much of a big deal for most of the gang, since nearly all PSI moves are 1-2 syllables long (PK Fire, PK Freeze, PK Thunder, PK Rockin, etc.) Dana's PK Special, however...
• Chain of Deals: The brothers just want to find their parents, but so far they've needed to spill some chili, befriend a dragon, get involved in a government conspiracy, fight against two different secret agent duos, go to a boarding school, learn about a magical psychic song, and do other irrelevant things to get remotely close to that goal.
• Curb-Stomp Battle: The Mysterious Humanoids have no trouble intimidating, knocking out, and capturing Crafty the Shopkeeper. They don't fare so well against the heroes. Not only do they completely fail to hit a single target with their wrap gun, but they both get blasted by PSI Rockin and Humanoid B receives an arrow to the knee. They likely would've been burned to death by Pio's PK Fire if it weren't for Humanoid A's Emmons Badge.
• Creator Provincialism: Billytown is based off of Philidelphia, pio_dov's hometown.
• Decomposite Character: Ian and Pio were originally intended to be one character.
• Dramatic Sit-Down: When Ryler's given a bunch of vague information regarding his adoption and sprains his ankle trying to dig into it, his dad sits him down to give him some massive exposition.
• Emotional Powers: PSI abilities activate when the user is feeling a certain emotion. The emotion depends on the user:
  • Dana and Connor: Happiness
  • Drake: Determination and hope
  • Pio, Camber, and Ryler: Fear
  • Ian: Stress
• Fantasy Counterpart Map: Most of the cities in the story are differently-named versions of real locations (Van Clover -> Vancouver, Port Atlas -> Atlanta, Billytown -> Philadelphia, etc.)
• Flashbacks and Chronology: All of Ryler's chapters, which take place two years in the past.
• Foil: Ian, outgoing and profound, to Pio, awkward and oblivious.
• The Food Poisoning Incident: Ian's plan to catch Dana's attention is to give him spoiled milk and wait in the bathroom.
• Four-Philosophy Ensemble: Dana is the Cynic, Drake is the Optimist, Pio is the Apethic, and Ian is the Realist.
• GMPC: Keiran and Pio.
• Good Morning, Crono: The story starts with Dana being woken up after a long car ride to his family's new apartment.
• Hero with Bad Publicity: The Eagleland government sees paranormal activity as bad, and thus attempts to capture Dana and his friends, a group of kids with psychic powers.
• Hide Your Otherness: Scale wears a trapper hat to hide his big, horn-like ears, Ryler makes sure not to psychically levitate while downtown, and Keiran (reluctantly) stays in Ryler's pocket rather than hover.
• History Repeats: The plot is about aliens invading Earth for the third time.
• Improvised Weapon: On several occasions, including backpacks, baseballs, and at one point a charging wire.
• Iron Butt Monkey: Pio scorches himself using PK Thunder on a possessed toaster and gets his hair set on fire by a reflected PK Fire. Ryler steps on a Lego, has his body possessed by a poltergeist, and slams into his mattress after snapping out of a nightmare-induced psychic levitation. Both of them bounce back pretty quickly from their respective injuries.
• Knee-capping: The method Dana uses to immobilize an enemy about to attack his brother.
• Lost Food Grievance: The alien who captured Dana and Drake is hit by a double dose of PK Freeze before it can deliver them chili. The attack causes it to drop the chili, and it spills everywhere. Oh, and the alien gets, you know, maimed.
• Military School: Snow Wood Boarding School is an educational facility where kids who display signs of PSI are trained to properly use their powers.
• The Noodle Incident: Scale is prone to cryptically speak of things that happen in his home world.
  Drake: By the way, where’d you get that magic sword? Do they just hand those out of the gift shop or something? ‘Cause I could really use one of them if they do.
  Scale: Magic Sword?! This is a Cyberhex given to me by the Dragon King himself!
  Ian: I’m sorry, who exactly is it you’re referring to?
  Scale: Not important.
• Non-Mammalian Hair: Despite being a dragon, Scale has hair rather then, well, scales.
• Not Now, Kiddo: In the fight with the Mysterious Humanoids, Drake's ramble about fencing gear gets cut short.
  Drake: You’re… talking about me, I assume? Also it’s called a sabre, one of the three ‘swords’ used in fencing and-
  Mysterious Humanoid B: Yeah okay now I'm gonna beat you.
  Drake: Wh-
• No-Sell: After Dana and Drake discover Rhelkky in their apartment and that he kidnapped their parents, Drake smacks him repeatedly with his bat. Rhelkky's facial expression doesn't even change.
• No Time to Explain: Scale does not let the uncle and nephews who haven't seen each other in eleven years catch up.
  Scale: "Cut the dramatic reunion. These guys are in trouble with both the government and a whole bunch of interdimensional conquest boys, can you help us or not."
• Obsessively Normal: Learn about the paranormal truth of the world? Say goodbye to your memory!
• Overly Long Name: The PK Special attack is named after your favorite thing. Dana's favorite thing? Properly researching and presenting papers on obscure academia.
• Parental Hypocrisy: Emily doesn't want her kids adventuring without an adult around, despite the fact that her brother got into even more dangerous hijinks at their age.
• Player Party: The four main characters are all played by different users.
• Poltergeist Possession: Ryler is subjected to this after an out-of-body experience. Luckily, Keiran is a nice guy and gives Ryler his body back quickly.
• Present Tense Narrative: The entirety of the main story is written in present tense.
• Psychic Powers: Considering the story is based off the Mother series, it's not a surprise that most of the characters can use PSI. All four main party members wield it, along with several side characters.
• Red Eyes, Take Warning: Well, orange eyes anyways. Also an example of Mind-Control Eyes.
• Schrödinger's Gun: Oh, very much so. There is much the author has not revealed to the participants.
  pio_dov: "It’s been coming together in WAY more massive ways. Just ones that would be spoilers to explain."
• Screw This, I'm Outta Here: The Masked Humanoids decide to flee after taking a beating from the heroes and try to escape in their truck. Unfortunately for them, Scale and his Cyberhex have other plans.
• Secret Legacy: Almost all of the characters find themselves connected to the story of the Mother series in one way or another.
• Secret Shop: Crafty runs a pet shop/animal hospital of dubious legality underneath his corner store.
• Spider-Sense: Pio is able to tell Dana and Drake, who are sitting in front of him and Ian on the bus, are psychics.
  Pio: "I feel the presence of someone else’s PSI, and it’s not yours."
• Transformation of the Possessed: orange
• Tranquilizer Dart: Ham uses one to knock out Dana after he begins regaining conciousness.
• Villains Blend in Better: When Rhelkyy walks around in nothing hiding his identity but a trenchcoat and bucket no one bats an eye, but numerous people report on seeing Scale and actual child-shaped creatures.
• Villain Reveals the Secret: How do the brothers learn their mother's the sibling of a psychic hero? Rhelkyy proudly announces it before revealing their parents are being held hostage.
• Word-Salad Horror: orange
• Who You Gonna Call?: The Eagleland Bureau of Paranormal Investigation, a branch of the government dedicated to fighting or capturing anything out of the ordinary so people don't know they exist.
• You Can Talk?: Dana's reaction to hearing his pets' thoughts when his psychic powers kick in.