Refusing this time around to be vexed by a moustache, lack of indoor plumbing, and no more guacamole, Selyse Florent must persevere her way through the Seven Kingdoms to ensure her prize: surviving the upcoming Long Night and not letting Melisandre go Full Melisandre.
Down a Rabbit Hole to Westeros
is an A Song of Ice and Fire Self-Insert Fanfic written by Lamia Kuei, wherein the author goes to sleep in the merry month of May, only to awaken as ten year-old Selyse Florent.
Down a Rabbit Hole to Westeros contains examples of:
- Adaptation Expansion: The entire House of Florent, naturally. In the books, Alekyne is The Ghost, and Erren and Imry have very small roles before they get imprisoned and killed respectively. Here, they are much more prominent characters; Imry has his own POV in Chapter 17.
- Adaptation Relationship Overhaul: Selyse, Rhea and Delena become friends with Lysa Arryn in this story, which never happened in the books.
- Renly Baratheon befriends Samwell Tarly.
- Affectionate Nickname: Stanny Blue Eyes, courtesy of Selyse.
- Lady Alannys Greyjoy would always be Lanny to her siblings, Gwynesse and Rodrik.
- Affluent Ascetic: Selyse is happy with a manor, a few gowns cut in a sober style and filling meals smallfolk could cook on their own. She's very critical of huge castles, dresses suffocating under embroidery and gems and elaborate food no one can actually consume.
- Alice Allusion: This is how Selyse explains her otherworldly knowledge about Westeros and her uncanny brilliance, calling herself "Alys" in the metaphor. The fact that Alys went back to her world after exploring Wonderland causes a lot of anguish to her husband and siblings.
- All Men Are Perverts:
- When Selyse persuades him to accept his libido, Stannis starts having sex with her in his office, every day at noon. It's quite awkward for the servants.
- For all his flaws, Robert knows how to please women. Hearing about his dour brother's newfound sexual prowess pushes him back to Cersei's bed in order to deploy his mastery.
- Oberyn Martell isn't discreet about his blatant desire for a wild night with Stannis and Selyse together.
- Animal Motifs: Stannis is compared with a turtle, the symbol of his mother's maiden family - he prefers safety and security to excitement and prefers to duck for cover when disturbed and wait until it is safe to re-emerge. Selyse manages to bring him out of his shell.
- Authority in Name Only: Cersei likes to remind everyone she's the Queen. However, her family considers her worse than useless in the game of thrones since her husband ignores and rejects every suggestion she makes, with Selyse and Lysa sharing the duties Cersei doesn't care about fulfilling between them and as such being more sought after by players.
- Badass Creed: This fic gives House Florent the words: "We dare with craft."
- Beware the Nice Ones: The Florents will smile and offer to help you, and they are genuine in doing so, but they have no compunctions about conning or murder. Everything is permitted, after all, and if you're smart enough to not get caught, why would you stop?
- Big Brother Instinct: Played with in that he is her younger brother, but Imry is eager to defend Selyse's honour against Brandon Stark and Robert Baratheon at Harrenhal, never mind that the latter is two feet taller than him.
- Big "WHAT?!": Stannis utters several of these when he reads Selyse's notes about his canon self's actions.
- Cock Fight: When he hears of his grim and dour brother giving his wife daily, glass-shattering orgasms, Robert feels challenged in his maleness and starts using every trick he learned from his many sexcapades to pleasure Cersei. Cersei herself feels rather disgruntled to be objectified in such a way, something Olenna empathizes with.
- Cool Uncle: Alekyne and Stannis are both this for Sam, the former patiently teaching him how to hunt and the latter praising his vocabulary.
- Cunning Like a Fox: Thanks to Selyse's stories about cunning heroes (adapted from games, books and films), her cousins and siblings become inspired to develop their skills at ambushing and subterfuge.
- Entertainingly Wrong: Olenna Tyrell believes the Florents are gaining more and more influence because they're spurred to do so by Stannis Baratheon, intent on avenging the months in which he starved in Storm's End.
- Family-Unfriendly Violence: When Stannis reads Fantastic Mr. Fox — a story Selyse wants to tell their young son — he's horrified not only because the fox is praised for stealing, the fox parents outright plan to kill their children to spare them starvation.
- For Want Of A Nail: House Florent becomes far wealthier and more influential, with modern and revolutionary ideas emerging from Brightwater Keep.
- Ser Axel Florent becomes Chief Auditor to the Master of Coin, rather than castellan of Dragonstone.
- Stannis and Selyse have a son named Armand in the aftermath of the Greyjoy Rebellion.
- Lysa Arryn gives birth to twins - Roland and Elyse Arryn.
- Giving Radio to the Romans: Lamia!Selyse helps Maester Bryan discover the Mendelian genetic inheritance laws, she introduces the Dewey Decimal System to Brightwater Keep's library, she teaches her siblings and cousins Morse Code and she gives House Florent the cotton gin and carding drum, later going on to develop the Seven Kingdoms' fabric industry. She even introduces Westeros to waxing and Regency-era fashion, among other advancements.
- Good with Numbers: Rhea Florent is outright called a mathematician genius.
- Happily Married: Selyse and Stannis.
- Hartman Hips: Men easily forgive Selyse her lack of bosom when they get to admire her scrumptious bottom. She's aware it's her major charm point and tailors her gowns to emphasize her butt.
- Hopeless Suitor: Oberyn Martell very much lusts after Selyse and Stannis — yes, both of them — and would enjoy a little threesome. Alas, they are happily monogamous and stubbornly heterosexual for Stannis.
- Yara Greyjoy develops a rather obvious crush on Irmy Florent when he's tasked with escorting the Iron Islands party to King's Landing, and her uncle Rodrik is dismayed to conclude that he would have been an excellent husband for her, if only he wasn't an unlanded knight with no coin, on top of being the Son of a Third Son of a Banner house, the match being too unequal to allow.
- I Am Not Pretty: Stannis has been unfavorably compared to his older brother Robert — often described as "a maiden's wet dream" — since he was young. He struggles to register Selyse's attraction towards him on a physical level as a consequence.
- Immodest Orgasm: When Selyse is visiting Stannis in his office, it tends to get loud. Needless to say, the guards feel horrendously awkward and impressed.
- In Vino Veritas: A drunk Selyse tends to babble about White Walkers and plead for Stannis to not believe she's crazy.
- Mama Bear: Melessa for Sam, more so than in canon. Randyll Tarly learned the hard and painful way to tread carefully around her.
- Never Got to Say Goodbye: A huge part of Robert's issues regarding his parents and Lyanna Stark was how sudden their demise were, leaving him unable to accept it. He finally moves on from Lyanna when Selyse helps him to properly bide farewell to her memory.
- Nice Job Fixing It, Villain: Cersei mocking Lysa Arryn and snubbing her drove the Hand's wife into Selyse's circle, giving her friends interested in building her confidence and work with her to better Westeros.
- Obnoxious In-Laws: Cersei cannot stand her goodsister Selyse, calling her an ugly cow who's unable to see how great Cersei is, unable to uphold the standards of a noblewoman and is a whore for enjoying sex with her husband. On Selyse's side, she would like to stay as far as possible from Cersei since she's perfectly aware of how toxic the Queen is — and Stannis bluntly tells Oberyn Martell he would be alright with Cersei's disgrace after hearing the lioness insulting his wife.
- Averted with Selyse and Robert. In spite of a botched introduction, Robert genuinely admires Selyse's spunk and grows to like her as a sister.
- One-Man Industrial Revolution: Downplayed — Selyse does kickstart a technological race, but her siblings and cousins help her a lot with inventions and ideas.
- Shout-Out: When Selyse is planning out her future as a girl, she says that she would have to be the Kevin to Stannis' Captain Holt and that she is more like Gina Linnetti.
- Simple, yet Opulent: Selyse's aesthetic is to avoid a lot of trimmings, jewels and embroidery on her gowns, donning fitting dresses sown with good materials instead. She quickly sets the new fashion trend for King's Landing, constrasting her with Cersei who stubbornly believes in the Ermine Cape Effect.
- There Are No Therapists: Selyse acts as a therapist to help Robert move on from Lyanna Stark and to help him and Stannis reconcile.
- Uptown Girl: Alekyne Florent is Heir to a rising house that is accumulating wealth and fame by droves, and he decides to marry Dacey Mormont whose pedigree is impeccable but whose house is so poor she's basically a peasant. Alekyne doesn't care, pointing she's at least able to think by herself.
- Wham Episode: In Chapter 30, Selyse tells Stannis the truth about her previous life.
- In Chapter 47, Varys's Targaryen machinations are discovered, and he is executed on Robert's orders.
- Women Are Wiser: The Reader muses it might be true for the Florent House, but since Westerosi society is staunchly patriarchal and bent on favoring male heirs, it wasn't apparent until the latest Florent generation in which the men decided to listen their sisters and daughters more. With Selyse as the main driving force behind the current technological revolution and Rhea as a genius mathematician, it's hard to disprove this viewpoint.
- Wine Is Classy: Any Reacher will have opinions about wine, commenting on the taste and the age instead of chugging it.
- You Are Better Than You Think You Are: As she tells Stannis about her previous life, Selyse tells him about Proudwing and how that proves his character:Stannis: “You know my foolishness.”Selyse: “I know that a stubborn, patient, loving boy cared for an injured bird beyond what others could do. I know that birds when sick often die rather than show any such weakness. That she became well under your care was wonderful. You are wonderful.”
