manwithoutabody came up with two drinking games for the legendary badfic My Inner Life while doing a Dramatic Reading. The easier of the two is the plot points version:
- Whenever there's a sex scene, you drink.
- Whenever there's a Costume Porn scene, you drink.
- Whenever you come across an unnecessary Triforce symbol, you drink.
- Whenever Jenna develops a new power at exactly the right moment, you drink.
- Whenever a plot point is introduced, then wrapped up within the same chapter, you drink.
- Whenever a canon character's name is misspelled (particularly Ganondorf), you drink.
- Whenever there's a blatant contradiction of Zelda canon, you drink.
- Whenever a character makes some sort of personal sacrifice just for the benefit of Link and Jenna's relationship, you drink.
- Whenever someone boots the horses in the legs, you drink.
- Whenever Dalamar tells them to "Hurry up! We must make hast!", you drink.
- Whenever the word "dead" or "cold" is used in an illogical context, you drink.
- Whenever Jenna cries tears of either joy or sorrow.
But if you really hate your liver, there's the "key words" version:
- Whenever you see the phrase "sheer ecstasy" or "heavenly naked body," drink.
- When she uses "threw" instead of "through" or "minuet" instead of "minute," drink.
- Whenever someone's eyes "grow big as saucers" or "widen in shock," drink.
- Whenever someone's face goes "white as a sheet," drink.
- Whenever "so" is spelled with two o's, drink.
- Whenever someone says, "Oh my goddesses!", drink.
- If a line of dialogue is "sneered," you drink. If it's "said," drain the whole cup.
- Whenever there's a reference to Link's eyes, drink.
- Every reference to tigers in a sexual capacity, you drink.
- Every time "shower of sparks" is used during a battle.
- Whenever a character actually says "sigh".
Rytex would like to make a contribution.
- Every time it is stated or implied that Jenna is given something that a non-Hylian would never have (e.g. The Ocarina of Time, a position in the Royal Family, etc.), take a shot. Drain the cup if if Link used to own it.
Fofa has an idea.
- Every time Link Jr doesn't act like a baby his age (or at all), take a shot. If you're at the point where he's doing math at four months, drain the cup.
magmablock would also like to contribute.
- Every time Link calls Jenna "love" (or vice versa), take a shot. You'll probably get alcohol poisoning by this one alone, so proceed with caution.
whippersnapper has two more ideas.
- Every time Hero of Time is in quotes, drink.
- Every time Jenna refers to Princess Zelda as some variation of her "good friend," drink.
mrpanda would like to contribute.
- Every time the author misuses quotation marks, take a shot (e.g. "Nice to meet you Mistress Jenna. You are as beautiful as a winter rose" [Link] said [...] is instead written as "Nice to meet you Mistress Jenna" "You are as beautiful as a winter rose"). This will probably get you killed from alcohol poisoning, so use caution.
- Every time someone tends to Link's and Jenna's horses, take a shot.
- Every time there's a redundant statement, take a shot.
- Because drinking whenever there's a sex scene isn't enough, take a shot every time there's a euphemism for Jenna's vagina and/or Link's penis (e.g. "my mound", "his swollen organ", etc.).
- Take a shot every time Jenna "gushes" during her orgasm.
- Take a shot every time Link has sex again right after achieving his orgasm.
- Take a shot every time Jenna digs her nails into something. Drain the cup if it's anywhere on Link.
- Drain the bottle if they have sex while Jenna is pregnant.
LiveInTheMind would like to contribute.
- Take a shot every time Jenna describes Link as if he were food (e.g. "tasting the sweetness of them.......so firm, so sweet," "I wanted nothing more than to taste every bit of flesh before me, to swallow its taste...")
wildkatgirl suggests:
- Every time Jenna or Link makes animal noises during sex, drink.
- If either of them makes cat noises, drink twice.
- If tigers are mentioned, take a shot.
- Drink every time Jenna or Link's back arches/arcs.
- Whenever either of them 'bucks up'.
- Whenever anyone 'ups the movements'.
- Whenever Jenna's 'juices' or Link's 'essence' are mentioned.
- Whenever Jenna or Link is sent 'over the edge'.
- Drink again if it's their 'undoing'.
- Whenever there's a reference to someone's 'lower organs'.
- Whenever someone is in 'pure bliss'.
- Whenever there is an orgasm, have one drink for that orgasm plus one for each previous orgasm in the sex scene. (For example, drink three times for the third one) Just be careful at the sex scene directly after the timeskip. There are eight there, making thirty-six drinks in total.
- Drink whenever Jenna's pregnancy/baby is described as a 'miracle'.
- Whenever someone's eyes glow, drink.
- For the manwithoutabody reading, drink whenever a word is replaced with a clip of someone else saying that word.
- Take a shot for every clip that's directly after another one.
- Drink twice if the clip is from the CD-i Zelda games.
- Every time Mr Volcano says "WATER!" drink some WATER!, preferably Volvic WATER!.
- Drink every time he adds background music.
