Drinking Game / Hamlet

The four-hour Hamlet drinking game . Before thou sayeth goodbye to thine liver; make sure the drink is not poisoned, like at the end of the play.

• Chug a beer for a soliloquy.
• Drink whenever a vagina joke is made.
• Drink whenever a famous actor is clearly shoehorned into the movie.
• Drink whenever a flashback or scene clearly not in the original text happens.
• Do a shot every time BRIAN BLESSED!!!!! appears onscreen. Take a sip of beer every time Kenneth Branagh is clearly trying to out-ham him.
• Drink whenever Gérard Depardieu says "My lord".
• Drink whenever someone enters/exits through a secret door.
• Do a shot for every major character who dies in the final scene.

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For the play in general:

Take only a sip whenever

• Someone tells a lie.
  • Two sips if it's Hamlet being lied to.
    • Toast if Hamlet easily sees through the lie.

Take a drink whenever

• A new expendable character appears.
• Horatio says "my lord."
• Ophelia says "my lord."
• Claudius uses the Royal "We".
• Polonius is about to stop talking . . . and then doesn't.
• Hamlet compares someone to a mythological figure.

Take a chug whenever

• Someone reads from a paper.
• A messenger is sent.
• Claudius says something embarrassingly suspicious.
• Ophelia's chastity is mentioned.
• Hamlet solioquizes.
• Someone dies.
• Fortinbras is mentioned (finish the bottle and cry when he appears).