Drinking Game / Big Finish Doctor Who

A drinking game to accompany Big Finish Doctor Who.

Take a sip when:

• Someone says, "Doctor, what's happening?"
• A companion gets kidnapped.
• A new alternate universe is discovered.
• One of the extras tries to out-ham the Doctor.
  • Two sips if they actually succeed.
    • Three sips if they manage to out-ham Seven in any way.
• The Doctor loses his memory.
  • Two sips if it's Eight.
• An alien race designed by Nicholas Briggs shows up.
  • Two sips if he designed it before he got out of puberty.
  • Three sips if designed it before he got out of puberty, and he's still got his old Concept Art napkin doodles lying around.
• You spot a blatant reference to the Doctor Who Audio Visuals.
• Events from the comics are mentioned, and treated as perfectly normal canon.
• Events from the novels are mentioned, and contradicted again a few months later.
• Someone points out that talking to yourself is the first sign of madness.
• The Doctor is flustered at the lack of censorship compared to the TV series.
• A companion is delighted at the lack of censorship compared to the TV series.
• Someone falls in love with the Doctor.
  • Down the bottle if it's mutual.
• A cliffhanger takes over a year to get resolved.
  • Take a big shot if a cliffhanger takes over five years to get resolved. You are listening to Gallifrey and, let's be honest, you want to drown out your feelings.
• Lucie says "Lucie Bleedin' Miller".
• Hex says "Oh my God!"
  • Two if someone lampshades it.
• Five is knocked unconscious.
• Six compares himself to a cat.
• Seven goes off the deep end and makes the bacon fly.
  • Take two if Seven topples a government.
    • Take three if he makes the bacon fly and topples and government. Note - the order is not required.

• Eight gets distracted halfway through a — hey, look, shots!

Take a shot when:

• Five, Six or Seven say they must get around to making another sonic screwdriver.
• The Web of Time is shredded and put back together again.
• An alien race develops time travel, and immediately heads to Earth just to screw up history.
• A building turns out to be somehow sentient.
• Another sentient race on Earth is revealed.
• Ace gets shot, kidnapped, or beat up.
• The characters get stuck in a "Groundhog Day" Loop.
  • Two shots if the "Groundhog Day" Loop is, in turn, inside a Lotus-Eater Machine.
• The story turns out to be All Just a Dream.
• The Monster of the Week is made of sentient sound.
• The show suddenly turns into a panto.
• Yet another set of minor characters get their own spinoff series.
• London gets blown up.
  • Two shots if it's the entire planet Earth.
• Cybermen show feelings.
  • Two shots and a celebratory soufflé if Daleks show feelings. Other than all-consuming hate towards everything non-Dalek, that is. Or fear of the Doctor.
• A companion suddenly disappears from the episodes altogether, and only vague references are made to their departure.
  • Two shots when this is finally explained several years later.
• Someone sings the Zagreus tune.
• Someone claims the Time Lords are really nice people deep down.
  • Two shots if it's the Doctor, who really should know better.
• Five accidentally commits genocide.
• Six dresses up for an episode.
• Seven has to kill someone to preserve the timeline, and can't bring himself to do it.
• Eight loses his shirt.
  • Two shots whenever he loses his trousers, too.
• The Doctor makes out with a companion.
  • Down the bottle if it's Seven and Ace.
• Several Doctors get into a bitching match.
• Several versions of the same Doctor get into a bitching match.
• The Doctor gets gruesomely tortured.
  • Two shots if it's through Mind Rape.
• Six loses a body part.
• A character is brought back from the dead.
• Ace becomes even more emotionally screwed up.
• Mel shows her dark side.
• The Brigadier is really bad at being retired.
• Peri gets realistically broken.
• Rassilon does a moral flip-flop.
• You suddenly feel sympathy for Davros.
• The Master shows up unannounced.
  • Two shots if you genuinely couldn't tell it was him.
• Blackpool is mentioned.
• The CD case falls apart in your hands.
• There is a Tomato Surprise or Tomato in the Mirror reveal that would have been immediately obvious if the story had visuals.

Other suggestions:

• If you can't follow the plot because you were supposed to listen to five dozen related audios first, reach for the whisky bottle and start mourning your bank account.
• If you're watching the TV series and everyone looks just weird, because you're used to only hearing their voices, break out the vodka until they all look normal again.
• If Iris Wildthyme shows up: try and match her drink-for-drink. Good luck.