"Things like heroes are unnecessary."
— Touma Kamijou, A Certain Magical Index
The greatest comic never made by Dookie, the Dumbest Smartass In The Universe(TM). One day, Dookie and some friends decided to make a Deconstruction of shonen fighting anime. And so he came up with this and decided to spare the world a gruesome fate. It wasn't much of a Deconstruction but it sure was funny. It may plausibly become a webcomic.
A child asks his father why there are no superheroes anymore and he got... this. This load of BS about how an extraordinarily powerful teen who, By the Power of Grayskull! and his Puberty Superpower, managed to blow all costumed superheroes out of existence. Yay.
Characters:
- Dad
- Kid, an awfully curious child who got the bedtime story of his life.
- The unnamed hero: One day he woke up to find that he had a single pubic hair and could now set things spontaneously on fire. Hilarity Ensues.
- Oberon, the resident vigilante who loves to piss off the official superhero of the Big City, Citizenman. Also has the same superpower as the hero, but is pissed off at the hero for trying to take his job.
- Titania, Oberon's longtime childhood friend and the closest thing he has to a maternal figure (Oberon's own mother is blissfully ignorant of his "fun").
- Big Daddy-The mysterious Big Bad who is always cloaked in shadow and wears a horned helmet with a massive and apparently functioning eyeball on it despite the fact it would make him vulnerable. He wants the hero and Oberon dead for unclear reasons. Loves a good Evil Plan.
- Repairman, one of Big Daddy's servants who is in charge of Big Daddy's petty crimes division, known as the League of Not-Nice People, to avoid association with Big Daddy. He is a pathetic weakling who comes across the opportunity of his lifetime when he runs into the hero. He dresses like a repairman but can't repair crap, so he destroys it instead. His crew in the petty crimes division:
- Nuclear Baby, an adult who looks like a baby that happens to shoot radiation around. Generally a pickpocket.
The Scrappy of the League of Not-Nice People, which is expressed in Repairman's constant punishment of him. - The Monster Clown, a mercenary that doesn't talk much. He wears a mask with a smiley face on it at all times to hide his actual facial expression as part of some strange superstition of his. It's speculated that he's just plain ugly.
- SUPAChicken, Repairman's animal sidekick and close confidant. Can
- Robomaster, a robotic superweapon originally built during the Cold War by a bunch of conspiracy theorists with spare time on their hands to annihilate humanity so that humanity would not suffer from a nuclear war. Scrapped when he developed a heart. A white elephant in that he's too overly emotional for violence, so he's the League's political insider.
- Nuclear Baby, an adult who looks like a baby that happens to shoot radiation around. Generally a pickpocket.
- Citizenman, the Big City's local superhero with the power of great citizenship. He has voted in every election in the Big City ever and has a 99.9% approval rating as resident superhero. Who's the 0.1% you ask? Actual superheroes who kindly point out that he's done nothing.
- I'm not giving out any more spoilers, so I'm not giving out any more characters.
This Work Displays Examples of the Following Tropes:
- Cool Sword: An Informed Ability of Oberon in that he always carries the sword but never uses it.
- Jerk with a Heart of Gold: Citizenman really means well despite being hopelessly delusional about his own abilities and obnoxiously pedantic.
- McGuffin: The Helm of the Fallen, which is a literal Hero Ball. Lampshaded and proves useless, to the hero's consternation.
- Meaningful Name: Oberon and Titania. What Shakespeare play is that from?
- Parody Sue: Oberon's a parody of a Jerkass Stu.
- Ridiculously Human Robot: Parodied with Robomaster in that he acts so human he's overdoing it, but, in fact, has the appearance of a brutal killing machine despite being pretty harmless.
- Sorting Algorithm of Evil: Lampshaded and mostly averted once Big Daddy realizes it. Then played straight and justified when Big Daddy sends his weakest fighters out first so he can watch them suffer and send out his strong fighters after they fail.
- Super Mode: Bears no similarity to Super Saiyans.
- Super-Powered Robot Meter Maids: Inverted with Robomaster, who is a military robot who has surprisingly few weapons but lots of things useful in nonmilitary situations, like housekeeping or political coverups. Averted with other robots that appear who generally stick to the purpose they were built for.
- Supervillain Lair: There are quite a few, but a recurring one is the League of Not-Nice people's lair, hideously underfunded by Big Daddy, and complete with an Insecurity System.
- What Kind of Lame Power Is Heart, Anyway?: Literally with Robomaster, but it also applies to Citizenman, who is Blessed with Suck but is too full of himself to realize it.
- What Measure Is a Non-Human?: Subverted. Nonhumans aren't arbitrarily swept aside, but Robomaster suspects that this is true and this leads to his being incredibly paranoid on missions, one of the reasons why he is epic fail as a combat robot.
- You Have Failed Me: Subverted. The exact phrase is uttered by both Repairman and Big Daddy but no one is ever executed on the spot.
