Nobody's Business is the second-ever Disney comic created by Don Rosa, originally published in Uncle Scrooge #220 in August of 1987. It's the first of Rosa's shorter, gag-based stories rather than the epic adventures he's most famous for, and also marks the first appearance of Gladstone Gander in one of his comics.
At the Money Bin, a rather frustrated Scrooge McDuck observes his two spendthrift and lazy relatives, Donald Duck and Gladstone Gander, watching through his telescope as they waste the whole day either laying around or enjoying themselves rather than working, in contrast to his industrious great-nephews Huey, Dewey and Louie, who are busy with a lemonade and coffee stand fundraiser for the Junior Woodchucks. While Scrooge has already decided to make the boys his sole heirs due to their hard-working nature, he doesn't want to completely snub his two older relatives either, and decides that a challenge might inspire them to care about more than their next soda.
Summoning Donald and Gladstone to his office, Scrooge offers them a deal - he'll front them $1000 each to invest in any way they can imagine. If they succeed in turning a profit in 24 hours, he'll set them up in a business of their own, the size of which will depend on the profit they made. While Gladstone prefers being a passive investor, letting his luck provide the opportunities for him, Donald is uncharacteristically excited by the deal, proclaiming that he's going to be a go-getter and build a business empire of his own. Watching the two leave, Scrooge suddenly has an omnious feeling that he may just have let loose the worst economic disaster since the Great Depression...
Unfortunately, despite his enthusiasm, Donald soon runs into a roadblock, as he doesn't really know that much about business, and struggles to come up with ideas. At the suggestion of his nephews to focus his efforts on things he himself enjoys, he tries investing in a fast-food franchise, but after insisting on a business lunch with the owner, he accidentally stuffs the man with so much food that the deal not only fails, he gets stuck with the massive bill. His other idea fails similarly, with his attempt at real estate yielding nothing but a worthless cliff side. Meanwhile, Gladstone gets a hit after ten minutes sitting in his recliner when a wrong number turns out to be an inventor needing to loan exactly $1000 for a revolutionary new carpet to show investors, with similar opportunities almost literally falling in his lap throughout the day.
Down to his last $5, Donald buys an invention from Gyro Gearloose in one last, desperate shot at success, a new fertilizer using liquid helium to make leaves fly off their branches and eliminating the need for raking the yard. However, Donald uses too much when he tries to show it off, causing a whole forest to lift off into the sky and scaring off the customers. However, a pair of shadowed figures observe the disaster, and agree that once perfected, the invention might interfere with their own business...
Meanwhile, one of the flying trees causes a minor plane crash, with the pilot landing in Gladstone's living room. Finding out that the plane contained lobsters for an upcoming seafood event, meaning that the prize for lobster will now skyrocket, Gladstone has his final investment, and quickly places a call before word can get out, topping off his successfull day as an investor.
The next day, Donald and Gladstone meet with Scrooge again to showcase their success (or lack thereof). As it turns out, the men who approached Donald the previous days were representatives of an airline worried that the fertilizer would clogg up the sky with leaves, and wanted to buy the rights to the invention just to keep it off the market. Donald agreed - to the tune of $1000 and a case of soda, much to Scrooge's frustration, as Donald could easily have held out for millions, and such a pitiful "profit" only earns the smallest of businesses in return. He's much more impressed with Gladstone, who made quite a profit, and as promised, Scrooge will now set him up in a business of his own. However, one of his employees show up, revealing that Scrooge's own businesses took a real hit yesterday - in fact, pretty much the same amount Gladstone earned. Scrooge only now realizes that he's created a monster; no amount of hard work or business savy can possibly compete with Gladstone's luck, and he's effectively funding his own doom in whatever line of business he gives Gladstone. Luckily, his employee has a suggestion...
Some time later, Scrooge ponders the mixed result of his efforts. True, both Donald and Gladstone now have their own businesses, but Scrooge has doubts about how long they'll last, Donald is manning a soda stand, and will probably drink all his profits before long, and Scrooge doubts that even Gladstone could make it in his new line of work - publishing comic books!
Tropes:
- The Cameo: Azure Blue and Lawyer Sharkey from The Golden Helmet and The Lost Charts of Columbus can be seen walking by in the background when Gladstone is lying in his hammock.
- Did Not Think This Through:
- Donald's "business lunch" with the restaurant owner, ignoring that he's already ready to make a deal, and stuffing him so full of food he loses interest in the restaurant business entirerly.
- Scrooge, who set up the whole investment deal, not realizing he was also creating an unbeatable competition with Gladstone.
- Know When to Fold 'Em: The reason for why Donald went with such a small profit - considering how all his previous attempts at investing went, he decided to cut his losses as quickly as possible rather than try and hold out for more. Plus, he was getting thirsty anyway.
- Pyrrhic Victory: In Scrooge's own words, a "hollow victory"; he set both of his nephews up with businesses of their own, but predicts they will be back to square one within a month.
- Read the Fine Print: Donald didn't read through the contract for his "real estate" deal very well. Oh, it's the exact size he was promised, but it's all vertical, as he'd actually bought a worthless, stony cliff rather than land.
- Shockingly Expensive Bill: The bill Donald runs up at the restaurant, which costs him a sizeable chuck of his $1000.
- Take That!: Even this early in his career, Don Rosa knew that comics, especially working with Disney, didn't earn much of a living, commenting on how even Gladstone's supernatural luck couldn't make a go of it in that line of work.
