This is the Character Page for The Goon.
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The Goon and Franky
The Goon
The series protagonist, Goon is the head of the Labrazio crime family, but disguises himself as an enforcer. Originally a circus hand, Goon is a self-made man in the dog-eat-dog world of crime. His grim attitude are a product of the rough life he's lived. He often finds himself battling monsters and other supernatural forces, especially those of the Priest, effectively making him the sole source of protection for the town.- Curse: Played for laughs; whenever the Goon attempts to eat a pork chop, a magical goblin named Mac Giolla Bhride will teleport to his side from the faerie lands and throw it in a mud puddle. The story "An Irish Wake" explains this is due to a vendetta between the two.
- Dark and Troubled Past: His mother split on his father and left the baby Goon with him; his father promptly dumped him on his Aunt Kizzie, telling her that the alternative would be going with his original plan and drowning Goon in the river. Then his Aunt Kizzie was killed in a crossfire between the police and the gangster Labrazio. Then Isabella, the first girl he ever loved, broke his heart and left him after he got his face maimed and his eye blinded saving her from the Chinese mob boss Xiang Yao. Then all the crap in the series happens.
- Despair Event Horizon: Invoked in the final volumes. The Arab's plans are to push Goon beyond his ability to tolerate heartbreak anymore, which he believes will fuel the curse on the town and make him all but godlike in power.
- Does Not Like Spam: Goon hates the smell of sauerkraut, and will threaten bodily harm towards anybody dumb enough to eat it in his presence.
- Dragon Ascendant: Goon used to claim he was just Labrazio's #1 muscle, whilst secretly running the organization.
- Eye Scream: Being clawed across the face and then set on fire has left Goon's left eye too damaged to see out of.
- Fantastic Racism: Goon really doesn't like zombies much (although he grows fond of Willie Nagel in his way) and especially dislikes vampires.
- From Nobody to Nightmare: A humble carny kid who grew up to become one of the most feared crimebosses in the area.
- Genius Bruiser: The Goon may be big and tough, but he's also really smart, which is why he's stayed in power.
- Good Scars, Evil Scars: The Goon's trademark facial scars and dead eye are this, though hidden most of the time. But how does this work with a Sociopathic Hero?
- Guile Hero: The Goon may be strong enough to beat a man to death with his bare hands, but he is also extremely smart and cunning.
- Heterosexual Life-Partners: Though their sexuality is firmly established as heterosexual, Goon and Franky are best buds, always hang out together and their friendship has proven stronger than any relationship either of them has tried to have.
- Irony: Goon starts the series with a rather prominent (if somewhat understandable) streak of Fantastic Racism. By the comic's end, he's teamed up with and, in a way, genuinely befriended the zombie Willie Nagel and the Bog Lurks called the Brothers Mudd. In the two post-series comics, he's also become a sort of adoptive father to Roscoe the werewolf pup.
- Laser-Guided Karma: Because he chooses not to kill Kid Gargantuan for murdering the man that he was supposed to protect, the Kid shows up at the climax of the final issue and manages to talk down the hate-filled duo who have become embodiments of the town's curse. This saps the power from the Arab, allowing Goon to kill him, and implicitly breaks the curse over the region.
- Made of Iron: The amount of punishment, physical and emotional, that the Goon has taken in the series is truly incredible.
- Noble Demon: Goon may be a Sociopathic Hero, but what morals he does have are solid as stone, and there's a reason he's the last hope that this city has.
- No Good Deed Goes Unpunished: In "An Irish Wake", Goon tries to persuade the goblin Mac Giolla Bhride not to take Trevor Kelly's corpse for his meal until after Kelly's widow was gone, because it was upsetting for her to know her husband was going to be goblin chow. In the ensuing cerfuffle, the corpse was flung out a window, down a hill and into a great mucky puddle, for which Mac Bhride vowed to forever after ruin any attempt by the Goon to eat pork chops.
- Not So Above It All: He may be the closest thing in the comic to a Straight Man, but Goon has his share of weird behaviors, and often ends up going along with some of the less weird crazy stuff.
- Pet the Dog: In the two "post-story" issues, Goon has basically become an adoptive father to Roscoe, the orphaned werewolf pup who stowed away with him and Franky to escape the Unholy Little Bastards.
- Seen It All: Goon is pretty unflappable even at the start of the series, because he's just seen so much crazy shit since becoming a crook. By the time of the relaunch series, pretty much nothing phases him. For example, when he and Franky are ambushed by the hulking Seti the South-Side Mummy in issue #3 of the revival series...Franky: What's that?Goon: I don't know. But considering my line of work and life history, it's a safe bet that it's here to punch me in the face.
- Top-Heavy Guy: It's even lampshaded that he looks like a gorilla, with his overly long arms and comparatively tiny legs.
Franky
Goon's loudmouthed sidekick and longtime friend who's always there when the Goon needs an extra hand in fighting whatever monster is terrorizing the town or dealing with enemies and those who can't make their dues in the criminal underworld. While neither as cunning nor as strong as Goon, Franky's belligerent personality more than makes up for it. His favorite combat trick is "knife-to-the-eye".- Ax-Crazy: Becomes this once Rockso introduces him to cocaine in the Metalocalypse crossover comic.
- Eye Scream: Franky's favorite means of fighting people who are bigger than he is consists of stabbing them in the eye with his knife.
- Heroic Comedic Sociopath: Frankie is a sexually depraved, psychotic, hair-trigger murderous maniac, but also Goon's staunchly loyal best friend, and his blood-thirsty antics are played for laughs.
- Heterosexual Life-Partners: Though their sexuality is firmly established as heterosexual, Goon and Franky are best buds, always hang out together and their friendship has proven stronger than any relationship either of them has tried to have.
- Lovable Sex Maniac: Franky is the most unashamedly horndog member of the cast, but it's played for laughs.
- Noodle Incident: Franky is the absolute king of these, constantly referring to strange incidents that he and/or Goon have gotten into between stories.
- Toilet Humor: In the stories that make up the second-last volume of the series, through some Noodle Incident, Franky has earned the wrath of "Revenge Shit Guiseppe", a crazy old man who gets revenge on people he dislikes by attacking them with his poop, such as dropping it in Franky's beer mug or putting it on his alarm clock. This is played for levity against the otherwise bleak and dramatic events of the story going on around him.
Allies
Buzzard (Claire Buckley)
Originally the sheriff of a Wild West town that the Priest was taking over, Buzzard was transformed into an immortal humanoid creature that could only subsist on corpses in a botched attempt by the Priest to kill him. His vendetta against the Priest has made him Goon's most important ally. When not delving into the spirit world to learn more about the Priest, the town's curse, and Goon's destiny, Buzzard protects the cemetery with his twin handguns.Norton
The mild-mannered and dependable owner of Goon's favourite hangout bar, Norton's. His mother is an elderly gypsy whose eccentric behavior belies her powerful magic. When Norton's mother is killed by Labrazio, Norton takes up his mother's gypsy ways.The Unholy Little Bastards
A group of delinquent orphans who live at the McGreg Home For Illegitimate, Wayward and Possibly Homicidal Youth. As fans of Goon, they like to help him out when possible, although Goon usually sees them as unnecessary. The group name came from Willie Nagel cursing at them. Made of Smitty, Charlotte, Specs, and Peewee. Towards the end of the storyline, they gain a fifth member in the much-abused werewolf Roscoe.Taliba
A powerful gypsy sorceress and leader of a rival clan to Norton's family. After the death of Norton's mother, she married Norton as a sign of reconciliation. Usually accompanied by her bodyguard Demeter.Bill and Charley Mudd
A pair of outstandingly unintelligent ogre-like monsters called Bog Lurks. The Mudd Brothers are Goon's enforcers, who break the legs of those who fail to pay any debts they have to Goon.Merle
An alcoholic werewolf patron at Norton's. He is usually seen in his human form, but able to transform into a huge brown wolf when he pleases. Goon calls in his help from time to time, Has an illegitimate son named Roscoe who joins the Unholy, Little Bastards.Willie Nagel
A zombie with a personality, self-awareness, and the ability to speak in coherent sentences. Willie Nagel has no interest in the machinations of the Priest, preferring to work as a conman and drink at Norton's. Goon doesn't like him very much, but Willie's resourcefulness has proven useful on multiple occasions.- Dark and Troubled Past: Revealed in the second-to-last volume: his father was an abusive preacher whose behavior drove his kinder, gentler son to pack up and hit the road. He hitchhiked all over America until he met a girl and fell in love with her. But she had a suitor, a big mean ape of a man who, with a friend, caught the girl in a barn and brutally raped & killed her before pinning her death on Nagel. He escaped being lynched, then crept back and murdered the two men responsible - but he got caught standing over the former suitor in his home and was gunned down, going to his grave accused of all three murders. Then the Zombie Preacher's magic happened to bring him back as a "talker".
- Our Zombies Are Different: He's a magically reanimated corpse who retains his full consciousness and identity. He may need to eat regular amounts of meat, but he sates it with normal meat, rather than chewing on people.
Spider
A giant talking spider with a bowler hat, Spider is a ne'er-do-well barfly and cheater. Despite Goon's dislike for him, he has managed to remain on Goon's good side. His real name is Percival Goodbody. Antagonists
The Priest
The Goon's archenemy, the Priest (also known as the Nameless Man) is a powerful wizard who seeks to take over Goon's town from his hideout in Lonely Street, using hordes of zombies. Accompanied by his familiar, an orange cat with a human face. He is later revealed to be a member of an ancient race of wicked, magical beings and is considered a disgrace amongst his kind. It is also revealed that speaking his name allows one to command him, with heavy implications that he is in fact Rumpelstiltskin.Labrazio
A powerful and brutal crime lord whom Goon first met when he was twelve. The boy was greatly fascinated by him. But when Goon's only family, circus strongwoman Aunt Kizzie, was killed by Labrazio in a shootout with the cops, the young Goon killed Labrazio, taking his hat and book of names to secretly take over the syndicate. The crime lord's name was used as a cover-up, claiming he had gone into hiding. Then the Arab brought Labrazio's soul back from the afterlife, channeling it into the Mother Corpse's Chugheads to challenge Goon. A second Labrazio was created from the monsters, this time with shapeshifting powers and blue skin.Lazlo
An intelligent zombie who acts as the Priest's assistant, but later betrays him and joins Labrazio's gang.The Mother Corpse
When the Priest started to run low on zombies, he cast a spell on the corpse of a pregnant woman to create the Mother Corpse — a creature that spawns imp-like creatures called Chugheads that contain Labrazio's spirit. It is unaware of its state though due to the Priest putting a spell that makes it believe it is an expectant mother surrounded by many children.Mme. Elsa
The owner of a burlesque house and brothel called Mme. Elsa's. Being one of Goon's major crime rivals, she allied herself with the resurrected Labrazio. Her attractive body is contrasted by her hideous face, the result of a curse by Taliba.The Harpies
A pair of vulture-like humanoids that are given physical form by a magic gem and usually appear as curvaceous, scantily clad women. Originally the servants of a magician called the Drakstone Entity, they later become Mme. Elsa's minions, using the magician's zombie as their slave.Mr. Wicker/Skinny
Mirna's younger brother and a pianist at Norton's. His hatred of Goon, led him to transform himself into Mr. Wicker, a hulking figure of twisted branches, able to self-immolate. Originally introduced in the graphic novel Chinatown and The Mystery of Mr. Wicker, he was resurrected as a zombie, with his powers intact, to work for Labrazio.Hostus Grave
A bodysnatcher who digs up corpses for the Priest to resurrect. Hostus is inflicted with severe leprosy from his pact with the Priest. Is accompanied by his deformed twin sons, who wear potato sacks on their misshapen heads.Fishy Pete
A large fish-man who leads a gang of fellow underwater freaks, Fishy Pete controls the city's docks. Has two peg legs and two hook hands from an early encounter with Goon. His mother is the giant nymphomaniac Sea Hag.Joey the Ball
A midget who has his right hand permanently stuck in a bowling ball, giving him a monstrously muscular arm. As a leader of one of Goon's rival gangs, he likes to commit crimes with panache. Speaks in third person.- Death by Irony: Joey the Ball likes to kill people by crushing their skulls with his bowling ball. Charley Mudd crushes his skull with a stump after Joey kills his brother, Bill Mudd.
Other Characters
Dr. Hieronymus Alloy
A outstandingly brilliant scientist with gold skin from an accident in experimenting with alchemy. His misguided attempts at bettering society and gentlemanly behavior have made him sometimes an ally and sometimes an enemy of Goon. Often accompanied by his robot butler Randolph.Mirna
The lounge singer at Norton's. She is interested in Goon, though Goon feels no woman could ever truly love a man like him. Unfortunately for Mirna, the resurrection of her brother Skinny as Mr. Wicker would have a strain on her interest in Goon.El Lagarto Hombre
A mutant Spanish-speaking lizard that began as a Godzilla-sized monster. Dr. Alloy shrunk him down and made him into a manservant. However, Lagarto later escaped and reverted to a more monstrous state.Peaches Valentine
A mentally retarded man who appears from time to time. Likes to play with his own poop.Toilet Humor: The be-all, end-all of his existence is to laugh at his stupidity and poop obsession.
SPOILER CHARACTER
