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The Main Six
Harry
The star of the show. An incredible Jerkass with little respect for any other character.
- Ambiguously Gay: Thinks that Cedric is hot, and seems to only like Ginny based on how similar she is to Ron.
- Big Ego, Hidden Depths: Harry actually has a lot of issues, he just hides them behind his ego most of the time. Sometimes he does admit to them though.
- Fantastic Racism: Does not approve of humanity, being a puppet, and wishes to destroy humanity.
- Small Name, Big Ego: While not a small name exactly, he did survive Voldemort, there is NO accomplishment that could match how cool Harry thinks he is.
Ron
The sidekick. Bit of a ditz.
- Ambiguously Gay: Says a lot of suspect things about Harry, including:"Every day is beautiful with you here Harry"
- Yes-Man: Agrees with anything Harry says. Often to his detriment.
Hermione
The only sane person in Hogwarts. Smarter than every other character combined.
- The Generic Guy: Compared to every other character, Hermione has no real characteristics except not being some variety of weird. Her lines are usually about books or the plot. There's a reason Harry refers to her as 'Female Ron'.
- Only Sane Man: Isn't a total weirdo, and usually has the sense to leave when things get weird.
- Screw This, I'm Outta Here: Could be considered her only active personality trait outside of being boring.
Dumbledore
The headmaster of Hogwarts. An incredibly odd old man, whose whims are unknowable.
- Catchphrase: Uses 'Alas' in a lot of sentences, even when it doesn't make sense.
- Cloud Cuckoolander: Often lives in his own imagination.
- Has an obsession with streaking. He is seen naked half the time.
- Naked Nutter: A deranged Cloudcuckoolander who strips down for any reason or none at all and especially enjoys streaking.
- Obfuscating Stupidity: Can drop the odd thoughts to be somewhat sensible.
- The Reveal: He's an android. A gay android.
Snape
Voldemort
Minor Characters
Neville
Hagrid
Draco
Ginny
Cedric
