Characters from Pizza Game! Beware of Unmarked Spoilers! (Including the Spoilers that were spoiled in the trailer)
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The Terrible Main Character!
Kiane
Kiane P.L. Pepper
Voiced By: Kiane King
The Useless Bachelorette and player character. A recent College graduate who is looking for a boyfriend. Or Girlfriend. Or just a friend really. Shes lonely help. Her hobby is Boy!
- The Alleged Expert: One of her soundbites is "Don't worry! I'm kind of an expert!", which is applied to a lot of situations, including dating, writing poems, arranging parties and boy.
- Brainless Beauty: She's pretty cute and good-looking, but she doesn't have a whole lot going on upstairs.
- Cute and Psycho: Sure, she looks cute and her main goal is to get a boyfriend but to do this, she will randomly kick people, set fire to things she doesn't need and will happily watch people get murdered if it means she'll have a boyfriend at the end of the day.
- Extreme Omnisexual: The game has 4 Males Routes and 2 Female routes, One of which is a rabbit-like alien from the moon, and as Brendan Blaber puts it in the launch party stream, "Kiane is EXTREMERLY thirsty."
- Idiot Hero: She is not the brightest knife in the toolshed.
- Medium Awareness: She's very aware that she's in an Otome Game.
- Straw Vegetarian: In Keen's Route, he brings her an "incidental" pizza, she hates it because it has Pepperoni on it and constantly berates Keen for bringing it to her, but refuses to let it go to waste, so she eats the whole thing anyway.
Inner Kiane
Inner Kiane/Inner Me
Voiced By: Kiane King
A figment of Kiane's imagination. She thinks all of Kiane's thoughts.
- Deadpan Snarker Very much.Kiane: Wow! He's such a charming!
Inner Kiane: Yeah he'll get along grate with your mother. - Only Sane Man: Well, when compared to Kiane.
The CHARMING BACHELORS! charm is dlc only please buy for $59.99
Mr. Arimnaes
Mr. Arimnaes, Rich Handsome CEO
Voiced By: Tom Laflin
A Rude, arrogant, aloof, cheap, yet handsome and insanely rich CEO of Big Micosoffit. Kiane starts the game on the first day working as his secretary, hoping their relationship will be "Like 50 Shades of Grey, but with more Sex." Also, he MIGHT be a serial killer. He is a Serial Killer
- Bad Liar: Comes up with some iffy explanations of why his office is covered in Human bones. Thankfully for him, Kiane isn't that bright.
- Boastful Rap: "Mr. Arim Rap", Needs to be heard to be believed.
- Corrupt Corporate Executive: The CEO of a big company, who fires Kiane multiple times for small offences, and makes a deal with her to give him her paycheck for 3 years. Also, in his Boastful Rap, he mentions evicting 40,000 orphans.
- The Nicknamer: Rarely, if ever, calls people by their actual name. He'll refer to Kiane, Keen, and Roobit as "[Insert noun] Boy", "Pizza Boy", and "Children's Mascot/Toy" respectively. It comes across as him either being intentionally demeaning or not caring to bother learning people's actual names. Funnily enough, he'll get upset if someone calls him by anything else other than his own name.
- Pet the Dog: On the Chris route, if you defend on every turn, he congratulates you on trying to earn extra money from his attack and admits he's getting tired of always being the bad guy, wanting to just once be "the cool uncle". He'll then give you an extra $100 and leave peacefully.
- The Un-Reveal: The fact that he is a murderer and serial killer is made very clear in the trailer but treated as a twist in some of the routes (Keen and Roobit) and a not-so-well-hidden secret in others. (Like his own route)
Chris
Chris, He is a DEMON!
Voiced By: Christopher Gilstrap
A Cafe Owner/Worker with Dark Secret.
- Cute and Psycho: Rare Male Example. In his route, Chris is a little too willing to kill people to place his zucchini beacons.
- Dark Secret: Claims he can't be Kiane's boyfriend because of his dark secret past and refuses to speak about it because "a danger might happen.". Of course, if you've seen the trailer, you'd know what that secret was.
- Horned Humanoid: Suddenly gains a pair of tiny horns when it is revealed he is a demon.
- The Un-Reveal: The fact he is a demon is said out-right in the trailer, but treated as a plot-point in his route.
Lamp
Warped Lamp, Master of Twisted
Voiced By: Warped Lamp
Self Proclaimed "Cool Guy" and "Master of Twisted" who goes to Kiane's Drivers Ed Class. Acts rude and tried very hard to be cool.
- The Bully: Pretty much.
- Cloudcuckoolander: Comes across like this when they're not coming across as a bully.
- Do Not Call Me "Paul": Sensei calls Lamp "Douglas", which they hate. It's left ambiguous whether this is some kind of Deadname, or just Sensei being Sensei. The True Route confirms it's a Deadname.
- Lady Looks Like a Dude: Is revealed to be female near the end of her route. The game manages to hide this by never using pronouns when addressing Lamp before the reveal.
Sensei
Sensei, h-HOT FOR TEACHER...?
Voiced By: Brendan Blaber
The Driver's Ed Instructor who has wheels where his legs should be, apparently. According to the trailer, you should "pick a different route". Inner Kiane is not a fan.
- Blink-and-You-Miss-It: According to the trailer, he is "Some kind of mutant" and there are "Wheels where his legs should be???". While we do hear what could be wheel squeaking when he first appears, his character portrait, like all the other character portraits, only show him from the waist up. However, in the main menu Sensei's wheels are visible for a split second when the portraits slide in before Kiane's portrait immediately covers them up.
- Cloudcuckoolander: Where do you start with this guy?
- Conspicuous Gloves: Always wearing oven mitts. The artist was feeling too lazy to draw his hands.
- Ink-Suit Actor: MASSIVE subverted. According to the Developer's Commentary, Sensei is the "Pizzasona" of Brendan Blaber, but the only things they have in common is "They're both blonde, like the color green and have seen every Scooby-Doo Movie."
- Strong Family Resemblance: Has an extensive family, all of which look like him with a different accessory.
- Why Did It Have to Be Snakes?: Sensei seems to legitimately have Phasmophobia, the fear of ghosts. He'll break down crying while panicking if he thinks he's so much as interacted with a ghost recently.
Keen
Keenarnor, Delivery Boy Next Door
Voiced By: Michael Howell
Sole Worker of The Town Pizza, which is right next door to Kiane's apartment. If you pick his route, you find out he's being framed for murder, a mess that Kiane isn't too keen in getting involved with, but he does have tickets to her favourite boy band, Secret Flower...
- Benevolent Boss: Kind and compassionate to his new hires. He'll even demand Mr. Arimnaes show respect to Roobit when he belittles her.
- Obsessively Normal: Out of the possible bachelors, Keen is definitely the most normal.
- Pizza Boy Special Delivery: Averted. Sure, Keen does show up at Kiane's place with "incidental pizza", he does this to ask her to work at The Town Pizza to help prevent it being closed down. And also to possibly help him clear his name of murder. And he uses concert tickets to grease the wheels.
Roobit
Roobit, Mascot Character
Voiced By: Jād Saxton (Trailer Only)
According to the trailer, "The Only Good Character". A Rabbit Cop who is trying to blend in with humans. She claims that she is not from Space. She is most definitely from Space.
- Bizarre Alien Biology: Roobit can see colors on the light spectrum beyond humans except for the color red, can hear higher pitches than humans can, and apparently, if a loading screen can be believed, when a roobit dies, they explode into seedlings that become new roobits.
- Moon Rabbit: She's a rabbit. And she's from The Moon.
- Ridiculously Cute Critter: She's an Alien Rabbit who is "Hooray!" when she gets given Gumballs. Definitely the cutest character in the game.
- Series Mascot: In both her own and Keen's Route, She is this for The Town Pizza when she is working there undercover. She's also this for Pizza Game itself, according to the trailer.
Other (Undatable) Characters
Johnny
Voiced By: Anthony Sardinha
Kiane's Roommate. He mostly spends his time using the shower when Kiane needs it, eating Ice Cream as part of a "Get Rich Quick" Scheme that makes no sense and balancing his spoon on his upper lip. Kiane cannot stand him.- Cloudcuckoolander: Constantly eating his dad's brand of Ice Cream as part of a Get-Rich-Quick Scheme, despite the fact he doesn't earn a penny from it.
- Disproportionate Retribution: Zigzagged. Sometimes Kiane hates on him for justified reasons, because he's using the shower all day or he's eating her work acceptance letter. And sometimes, it's just because he's "doing things like saying hey" to her, or that he isn't Johnny Yong Bosch.
- Implied Love Interest: It is possible he has a crush on Kiane, despite her being horrible to him all the time. Or he's just nice and let's Kiane be mean to him.
- The Slacker: Justified. Johnny suffers from narcolepsy, which prevents him from holding a job or functioning like a normal person.
Kiane's Mom
Voiced By: N/A
Kiane's... Mother. She calls to check up on Kiane at the end of everyday.- Catchphrase: Usually ends her phonecalls with "Drake and Josh!" note
Sav
Voiced By: Brendan Blaber
A Substitute Teacher... And also Demon Hunter.- Apathetic Teacher: Certainly comes across like this when he substitutes for Sensei. When he isn't being a Sadist Teacher.
- Warrior Poet: Arguable on both counts. He attends the poetry slam where he mostly rants about his mother but it's mostly as an excuse to track Chrysanthemum.
- Vampire Hunter: In Chris' route, Sav reveals he is a vampire-demon-slayer that's hunting down Chrysanthemum, AKA Chris.
Brain
Voiced By: N/A
A girl who works at the grocery store.- Author Avatar: The In-Game Avatar of Pizza Game's Writer, programmer and composer, Plasterbrain. Brain confirms this herself, as well as being further confirmed in Developers Commentary Mode.
- God-Mode Sue: Invoked, Parodied and Subverted on Chris' Route, where Chris has an RPG Fight with her, and her HP is extremely high. She explains this is because she is the self-Insert Avatar, and as such, should be overpowered... She then gets IBS which causes her current HP to be halved at every turn.
Siv Illian
Voiced By: Siv Ryan
A Regular Ordinary citizen, who is absolutely not a police officer.- Bad Liar: Very insistent that they are not a police officer, while asking perps to step into the ordinary civilian vehicle so they can make a trip to the civilian building.
- Punny Name: Siv Illian... The Civilian.
Baron Von Boo
Voiced By: Zach Maher
Keenanor's rival from Pizza School, who despite being rich and successful, he is insanely jealous of Keen's Pizza Place.- Catchphrase: "FORSOOOOOOTH!!!"
- Fan Boy: Big fan of Mr. Arimnaes.
- Flowery Elizabethan English: Likes to shout "Forsooth" a lot.
- The Rival: Of Keen
- Signature Laugh: "ABooBooBooBoo! AAAAHBOOBOOBOOBOO!!!"
William-Sama
Voiced By: Will T. Sopp
The Town Hobo who lives in the alley near Kiane's house. Chief Stabby True Route Spoilers
Chief Stabby
Voiced By: ???
The Chief of Police. Only shows up in the True Route.- Gentle Giant: He's quite tall, seeing how he barely fits on the screen and he's a nice guy.
Lillibean True Route Spoilers
Lillibean/Liliam
Voiced By: ???
The first, and only love of Mr. Arimnaes. Only shows up in the True Route.- The Lost Lenore: She's definitely this to Mr. Arimnaes.
- Stylistic Suck: She looks like a badly drawn stick figure in a Minnie Mouse outfit. Kiane lampshades this.
SPOILER CHARACTER True Route Spoilers
MOTHER
Voiced By: ???
The Eldritch Abomination who is responsible for trapping Floriaddle in a week-long time loop. Also, Sav's actual Mother.- Knight of Cerebus: Only appears in the True Route, where things are a lot darker.
- Walking Spoiler: Their existence (sort of) explains a lot of the strange happenings in the game.
