Characters / Perfect Hair Forever

From Los Angeles, California, the character list for Perfect Hair Forever. This is currently at only a starting state, and contributions will be welcome.

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Main Characters

Gerald Bald Z.

"Uncle Grandfather, I want perfect hair forever."

Voiced by: Kim Manning

A teenager suffering from very premature baldness who wants to acquire legendary "Perfect Hair Forever." He's the central protagonist.

• All There in the Manual: At no point in the series is his full name ever said.
  • Actually, Uncle Grandfather says his full name in the first episode, but his accent makes it hard to catch it.
• Crossdressing Voices: Gerald is obviously voiced by a woman, and a rather sexy sounding one at that. This parodies the highly feminine voices given to Bishōnen characters.
• Dull Surprise: This is his normal voice, almost all the time. Likely intentionally.
• Meaningful Name: A pun on Dragon Ball Z, and a nod to the state of his hair.
• Prematurely Bald: He is a teenager with a combover. Just look at the main page image.
• Would Hit a Girl: He has a sword fight with Brenda in the first episode for some reason. He loses.
• Yandere: In the final episode, he goes to some... great lengths to try to get Brenda to fall for him.

Uncle Grandfather

"Stay true to the pass, and beware of...you know, the guy."

Voiced by: Matt Maiellaro

A parody of Master Roshi, he is supposedly the mentor to Gerald, yet spends most of his time at his apartment asking Brenda to do lewd things for him.

• Big "NO!": Lets out one when he learns that Brenda started the Cat-Bun wars.
• Dirty Old Man: He's a large pervert and seems completely unashamed of it.
• Everyone Calls Him "Barkeep": He's "just"" Uncle Grandfather.

Brenda/Margaret

"..."

A (mostly) silent girl who resembles a loose parody of Sailor Moon and serves as a parody of anime fanservice. She mainly stays by the apartment with Uncle Grandfather.

She's called Brenda throughout the series, but according to Young Man in the final episode, her name is actually Margaret.

• Action Girl: Can sword fight at least, and is able to beat Gerald but not Young Man.
• Easily Forgiven: Uncle Grandfather quickly forgives her for starting the Cat-Bun wars.
• Kinky Spanking: Subject to this by Young Man.
• Ms. Fanservice: Brenda is the anthropomorphic personification of typical anime fanservice directed at young men, which is fitting considering the show's status as an Affectionate Parody.
• The Quiet One: Almost never talks. She does once — in Japanese, when initiating the Cat-Bun Wars. She also makes occasional sound effects like "HI-YAH!!"
• Shameless Fanservice Girl: At no point does she seem to object to anyone being able to see her in her state. Even when it comes to Uncle Grandfather's blatant advances. Judging by the topless women at The Stinger of the third episode, and the Naked Apron used later by Gerald's mother, it just seems that female nudity really isn't objectionable in whatever could be considered their world.
• The Smurfette Principle: She's basically the only female character of note in the show.
• Stripperiffic: Played for laughs as a parody of the resident fanservice girl. Her skirt is so short that her thong is out at all times

Gerald's Helpers

Action Hotdog

"Do the la la la la la la la..."

Voiced by: Will Armstrong

A hot dog that is supposed to aid in Gerald's quest for hair.

• Animate Inanimate Object: A floating hot dog with a face.
• Fairy Companion: A parody of such, he serves as one to Gerald.
• Verbal Tic: Says "Do the la la la la la..." a lot. In fact, it's most of his dialogue. The final episode implies that he's gotten sick of it.
  "Do the la la la la la.........This is stupid."

Norman Douglas/Inappropriate Comedy Tree

"I HAVE SEX WITH DOGS! WHAT'S UP WITH THAT?!"

Voiced by: Nick Ingkatanuwat

A large tree that lacks an indoor voice and formerly worked for Coiffio.

• Catchphrase: "WHAT'S UP WITH THAT?!"
• Demoted to Extra: He was a minor character in the eighth episode.
• Minion with an F in Evil: He joins Gerald's group, despite how he was supposed to be working for Coiffio.
• No Indoor Voice: And how.

Terry/Twisty

Voiced by: Dave Hughes

A living tornado with a split personality. Terry is more benevolent, while Twisty is fairly violent towards others.

• Demoted to Extra: In the eighth episode, he only made a small non-speaking cameo, also he is the less focus compared to other characters.
• Red Eyes, Take Warning: His more malicious personality, Twisty, has red eyes. Terry has blue.

Secondary Characters

Young Man

"You don't understand!"

Voiced by: Clay Martin Croker

A strange man in purple, who claims to be the "King of Animals."

• Catchphrase: "You don't understand!" The final episode adds "She loves me!", "In eight minutes!", and "Her name is Margaret!"
• Everyone Calls Him "Barkeep": While never referred to by name, he's either called Young Man or King of the Animals.
• Friend to All Living Things: To some degree. He has a bunch of animals following him around, but he gets into arguments with them a lot.
• Jerkass: He rubs his marriage with Brenda in Gerald's face in the final episode. Is it any wonder Gerald kills him?
• Killed Mid-Sentence: "You don't underst—"
• Killed Off for Real: Possibly, in the eighth and final episode. He seems to be shot by Gerald, but it's left ambiguous as to if he was really killed or not.
• Would Hit a Girl: Spank one, as a matter of fact.

Young Man's Animals

A bunch of animals owned by the Young Man & are crammed into a red hatchback, they include Felix & Sherman, they are a monkey, a small parrot on Young Man's shoulder, a tail of a small blue whale, a zebra & a giant green parrot, also a flying monkey that doesn't speak, there was also a Elephant & a Deer.

• Early Installment Character-Design Difference: All the animals looked different in their debut episode, they start to change by episode 3 through 4.
• Early-Installment Weirdness: The animals only made animal noises in their debut episode, also there was also an elephant & deer that was in their group in episodes 2-3.
• Chuck Cunningham Syndrome: The Elephant & the Deer from episodes 2-3 disappear later on as they don't appear in the fourth episode & the eighth episode.
• Funny Animal: All of the Young Man's Animals, a giraffe, a bear, a parrot on Young's Man shoulder, two monkeys, a whale, a zebra, a giant green parrot & it also includes the forgotten Elephant & Deer.
• No Name Given: Outside of Felix & Sherman, all the animals which never given names, to begin with.
• Talking Animal: The entire animal group all have abilities to talk in English there are some exceptions, however.

Felix The Bear

Felix the Bear, is a bear with a jet pack who, after hunting Space Ghost, joins the Young Man group. His first appearance dates back to the seventh season Kentucky Spacemare's episode of Space Ghost Coast to Coast but also reappears in the episode of the first season "Escape from Leprechaupolis" by Aqua Teen Hunger Force.

• Early Installment Character-Design Difference: He was originally used a bear from Space Ghost Coast To Coast, in his first appearance, it does reappear in episodes 2 & 6.
• Funny Animal: Felix is a Grizzly Bear.
• Recurring Extra: Felix appears in many times throughout the series, most notably the "Woke Up Drunk" episode, he was absent in episodes "Cat Snatch Fever" & "Tusk".
• Talking Animal: He has the ability to talk like a Human.

Sherman The Giraffe

Voiced by: MF Doom

Sherman the Giraffe, is one of the animals of Young Man. He constantly complains of being hungry. His best friend is the Felix bear and they are often seen together. He likes tap dancing.

• Actor Allusion: This is sort of for Sherman the Giraffe, as he is voiced by rapper MF Doom, with a song on his Dangerdoom album named for and about the show to boot. The episode Woke Up Drunk opens with him singing on stage with a California bear.
• Early Installment Character-Design Difference: In the second episode, he had a different design, his design was also different in the third episode, his current design is used in the fourth episode.
• Funny Animal: He is a talking giraffe.
• Talking Animal: Like Felix & most of the talking animals of the Young Man, Sherman has an ability to talk like a Human.

Coiffio & His Minions

Coiffio

"We're either very, very, very much in danger, or very, very, very much...safe."

Voiced by: Dave Willis

The closest thing the show has to a primary antagonist, Coiffio is a man with a large amount of hair that slowly changes its color. Besides that, he looks like a more fit Uncle Grandfather.

Him saying "EFF" is used to censor most f-bombs on the show.

• Anime Hair: He sports some of the best anime hair ever.
• The Bad Guy Wins: The final shot of the series shows his box army running amok in the Tunaminium.
• Big Bad: Supposedly.
• Cats Are Mean: He's been described as the "evil controller of cats." He even has a minion in the form of a cat with wings.
• Characterization Marches On: He was fairly neutral towards Model Robot in the first episode, whereas afterwards he suddenly gets a lot more hostile, calling him "Model Asshole" and eventually ordering him to self-destruct.
• Dodgy Toupee: Turns out that impressive Kaleidoscope Hair is just a wig.
• Elmuh Fudd Syndwome: How he talks.

Cat Man

"Cat Man will *EFF* you up!"

Voiced by: Dennis Moloney

Another one of Coiffio's henchmen, this is a man in a cat suit that appears to be remarkably more sane than the other characters.

• BFG: He has one when he's manning the convenience store.
• Cat Girl: Gender inverted, being a cat man. His real nature is played with. He obviously looks like a guy wearing a cat suit, but he denies it whenever it's brought up around him.
• Cats Are Mean.
• Helpful Mook: He tells Gerald how to get to Tuna Mountain.
• Minion with an F in Evil: Cat Man really doesn't give a damn about much of anything, most of all his mook duties.
• Only Sane Man: He's well aware of the fact that he's in an anime parody (or thinks he's just in a really weird anime), and would try to opt out of the storyline as much as possible. As early as the second episode, he develops a complete disdain for "all you anime people and your stupid journeys", and does his best to abstain from actively participating in the plot, preferring instead to...hang out at his house, and work at a convenience store. Like a sane person.
• Punch-Clock Villain: Works at a convenience store when he is not doing Coiffio's evil bidding. Or rather, when he is not blatantly ignoring Coiffio's evil bidding. Or rather, while he is blatantly ignoring Coiffio's evil bidding.

Model Robot

"I think we're dealing with a very very very very smart person, or a very very very very stupid person."

Voiced by: Matt Harrigan

A small robot that serves as one of Coiffio's henchmen.

• Butt-Monkey: Coiffio frequently abuses him for no given reason.
• Demoted to Extra: This started in episode four since he was killed by the explosion & remained as a robot head in episodes 5-7.
  • In the eighth episode, Model Robot only made a small non-speaking cameo.
• They Killed Kenny Again: His death in the fourth episode of the series.
• Mini-Mecha: He's more-or-less human-sized.
• Unexplained Recovery: He appears briefly in the final episode, just fine, after self-destructing.

Astronomic Cat

"Meow"

Astronomical, also known as Space Cat or Pedro, is the winged cat of Coiffio. Under the latter's control, he usually grows wings instantly and travels through space to complete any mission. The cat is mainly used for information retrieval. Astronomicat is his real name but every time Coiffio tries to pronounce it he always jumps on the third or fourth syllable, gives up, and then simply calls him Space Cat or Pedro. He managed to steal the hamburger necklace and dismember Young Man's hand.

• Early-Bird Cameo: In the pilot episode Astronmicat Cat makes his first appearance before he reappears in the third episode, Uncle Grandfather had the same design of the Astronomic Cat, he was colored blue, but it had no wings & he owned it; however, this was only a fantasy/vision.
• Funny Animal: The Cat is a flying cat with wings.
• Nonstandard Character Design: This cat looks extremely different compared to the other cats in the show.

Other Characters

Rod The Anime God

"Beware the coiffed one. He is the evil controller of cats. And another thing, the wolf is the cat."

Voiced by: Matt Maiellaro

A self-proclaimed "Anime God," he is a giant flame who appears from time to time.

• Recurring Extra: He makes recurring appearances in the series.
• Energy Being: Made almost entirely out of fire.
• Meaningful Name: He lives in a pa-ROD-y of anime.
• Who Writes This Crap?!: His final line in the series: "This show is so confusing."

Secret Military Policemen

The Secret Military Policemen are policemen who have appeared several times during the series, even though their real purpose remains unknown. They are always depicted standing at attention with submachine guns. Physically they all look identical and are also homosexuals, since on one occasion three of them were seen in bed.

• Ambiguously Gay: In "Woke Up Drunk" & "Returning To Blading Victory" the three policeman are having sex with each other in a bed in the bedroom, we can assume they're all gay.
• Recurring Extra: They more recurring appearances in the series.

Wetsy

Wetsy is an entity of water that appears in the last three episodes of the series, although in the last two, it appears only briefly. His face is identical to Terry's. Basically, it's a huge pool of water that can flood everything.

• Animate Inanimate Object: He is a giant living flood of water.
• Flat Character: Wetsy doesn't have much of a personality as the character Terry/Twisty.

Space Ghost

Voiced by: George Lowe

Space Ghost makes occasional appearances.

• The Alcoholic: Has fallen on hard times since the end of Coast To Coast and can be seen drunk off his ass a couple of times.
• Bears Are Bad News: Just ask him.
• Butt-Monkey: He's usually getting killed or injured. He's mauled by a bear in his first appearance, and then he's shot after drunkenly stumbling into a network executive room.
• Jaded Washout: Reduced to drunkenly begging execs to give him another show, and bitterly laments with Zorak in the finale how all his pitches were rejected while this show gets more content; adding that it takes four days for Keith Crofford to call him back.
• Who Writes This Crap?!: His cameo in the final episode has him observing the show from his studio. He didn't like what he saw.