A dossier of characters that appear in the Team Fortress 2 fan film Emesis Blue.
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The BLU Mercenaries
In General
The titular BLU team employed by Blutarch Mann in his war against his brother Redmond. All four of them end up in the Slaughterhouse for various reasons, leading to them encountering the abominations mercenaries there had become.
- Blue Is Heroic: The main heroes are all members (or ex-members) of the BLU team, and have the similarly-colored outfits to match.
- Death Row: All nine mercenaries were former death-row prisoners that waived their bodies for use in the Respawn Machine experiments.
- Dwindling Party: The mercenaries are slowly killed one-by-one as the movie progresses, with only Jane Doe (definitively) alive by the end.
- Trauma Conga Line: Let's just say that absolutely nothing goes right for them in the Slaughterhouse. By the end, Ludwig has died three times, Jacques is burnt to a crisp, Jeremy has been turned into liquid thanks to a botched respawn, and the Soldier is now willing to do a murder-suicide.
Ludwig
Fritz Ludwig
"What the hell could've done that?"
Voiced by: Chad Payne
"You don't want to know."
BLU's Medic. He has been treating Jeremy for illnesses that have struck him recently, likely in regard to issues with the Respawn Machine. Lately, he has been haunted by something else."You don't want to know."
- Action Survivor: Ludwig is a medical doctor who, compared to the BLU members, isn't really suited for direct combat. But he proves himself to be much more adept and resourceful than he appears to be, and when pushed far enough, is capable of some pretty brutal violence.
- Adaptation Relationship Overhaul: Though the Medic is friendly with most of his teammates in the game/comics, he's generally depicted as being Heterosexual Life-Partners with the Heavy the most. In Emesis Blue, Ludwig's closest friend is Jeremy instead, a relationship that hasn't been examined much in the base game. Furthermore, the film's depiction of the Heavy is a ruthless Russian who's later reanimated as a zombie, means Ludwig is anything but friendly towards him.
- Adaptational Heroism: In Team Fortress 2, Ludwig is an utterly amoral scientist who doesn't hesitate to harm or even kill others, would eagerly betray his own team if it meant pursuing his scientific experiments, and even sewed other people's souls onto himself so he could sell them off and ensure no-one has a majority share in his soul, including the Devil himself. Here, Ludwig actually takes his medical responsibilities seriously, has a genuine friendship with Jeremy to the point of going out of his way to try and rescue him from Conagher Slaughterhouse, and actively represses his murderous impulses until they're absolutely necessary to defend himself.
- Adaptational Name Change: Downplayed. While the Medic's real name is indeed Ludwig in the game/comics, the Rottenburg stage in Mann vs. Machine implies that his last name is Humboldt. Here, Ludwig is his last name, with his first name being Fritz, which was a derogatory nickname an enemy Soldier would call him after dominating him.
- Ambiguously Christian: Ludwig crosses himself after entering the Conagher Slaughterhouse, wears the cross that was given to him in the cathedral while he was hiding from the Butcher, and begs God to help him in his native German before downing the "Valium" at the very end of the movie. His religious status is never clarified, so it's up to viewer's interpretation if his faith is genuine or a coping mechanism.
- Ambiguously Evil: It's left unclear just how involved he was with the events regarding Jeremy and his mother.
- Bilingual Bonus: Ludwig doesn't speak German as often as his canon counterpart, but he utters one German sentence at the end of the movie.Gott hilf mir.note
- Decoy Protagonist: Whilst he doesn't die at least not until the very end of the story, Ludwig stars as the main protagonist throughout the first portion of the film, and his story is given the main focus. It is only when things start transpiring at the Slaughterhouse that Jane Doe is given a much larger focus, with his actions being the ones that progress the main plot.
- Early-Bird Cameo: He, or a Medic that's clearly meant to be reminiscent of him, appears at the end of Spy's Disguise, another Fortress Films production, complete with a cross necklace.
- Frame-Up:
- The Detective and Jane Doe initially believe Ludwig to be part of the kidnapping plot and responsible for the murder of Scout's Mom due to his bonesaw being on-site and the use of pre-recorded messages of him from an unknown party.
- The Detective later tries to frame Ludwig as a mad cultist who murdered Jules Archibald... keyword being tries, because unbeknownst to him, Ludwig has been hiding in Jules's coffin and ambushes him, gunning the Detective down before he can even finish what he's saying.
- Go Out with a Smile: Ludwig's (presumably) final death reveals he died with an extremely unnerving grin, not helped by the fact that his corpse has his eyes bulging out of their sockets and is decomposing.
- Grievous Bottley Harm: After he revives for the first time, he grabs a bottle and retaliates against Maynard for killing him by smashing it against his head, knocking off his goggles and hardhat.
- Looks Like Cesare: Looks almost exactly like him when he pops out of Archibald's coffin to ambush the Detective.
- Resurrective Immortality: Is able to revive from fatal injuries, seemingly due to the Respawn Machine. This happens twice: the first when Maynard blasts him with a shotgun and the second after Murnau forces him to play Russian Roulette.Jane Doe: "You're gonna make it, Fritz."
Ludwig: "I know." [Shoots self in the head] - Sanity Slippage: His grip on reality was already rather tenuous, but losing Jeremy and learning the truth of the Respawn Machine drives him over the edge.
- Slasher Smile: He sports a sinister one as he kills the Conagher brothers, it slowly grows bigger as he aims Maynard's sentry right at Zed with the help of the Wrangler.
- Together in Death: A platonic example: if the ending is any indication, then he eventually is reunited with Scout after his death.
- The Unsmile: Flashes one of these when he reunites with Scout at Dell's bar.
- Uncertain Doom: An unusual example: He's last seen seemingly dead after crashing a stolen ambulance, but given his Resurrective Immortality it's left ambiguous on whether or not this has done him in for good.
The Detective
Detective Jacques Murnau/The Smoker
"If we don't find out where he is, they'll have all our heads."
Click here to see him as "The Smoker" (SPOILERS)
"Who was there to save ME, Jules?" Voiced by: Chad Payne
"You have compromised this entire operation!"
The ex-Spy of BLU, now a Private Detective who is called into action to find and recover Jules Archibald."You have compromised this entire operation!"
- Adaptational Jerkass: While Spy wasn't the nicest guy, he cared for his teammates underneath all his aloof snark. Here, he is a straight Jerkass, through and through, with no redeeming qualities.
- Adaptational Job Change: At no point during the film is Jacques Murnau ever referred to as a Spy, as his occupation is that of a Hard Boiled Detective, something his game counterpart never was. A flashback reveals that Murnau used to work for BLU as a Corporal, and only changed professions after completing his stint with them.
- Adaptation Relationship Overhaul: It was heavily implied then outright confirmed in the Team Fortress 2 comics that the Spy is Scout's father. This is not mentioned at all in the movie, and the Detective isn't particularly bothered at all by the death of Jeremy's mother (who was his lover in the comics) and later Jeremy himself.
- Adaptational Villainy: This Spy is a purely selfish hitman who kills innocents and covers up Jules' heinous crimes for money.
- Adaptational Wimp: In the base game, the Spy is a Professional Killer capable of faking his death and has a disguise kit that allows him to assume the identity of pretty much anybody. Here, since Murnau is primarily a detective over all else, he really only has his markmanship abilities and invisibility watch (the latter of which ends up waterlogged and near-broken for most of the film).
- All for Nothing: The Detective listens in via CCTV that Archibald pulled a Fake Kidnapping on himself so he can avoid an ongoing investigation into his dealings, which Jacques was not privy to. As a result, he loses his car, gets ditched by his partner, and is burned alive only to find out his boss was never in any real danger. Little wonder he shoots Archibald.
- Asshole Victim: He's the right-hand man to Jules Archibald who, when ordered to execute treasonous BLU mercs with the promise of a promotion, feigned hesitation so that Archibald would give him what he wanted. It gets worse when he ends up being immolated and covered head to toe in burn scars, at which point he completely sheds any pretense of caring about anyone other than himself by gunning down Archibald, forcing Jane and Ludwig to play Russian Roulette and trying to frame Ludwig for killing Jules. Needless to say, Ludwig coming back to life and repaying the Detective with a bullet to the head was well-earned.
- Be Careful What You Wish For: By the end, all the rewards and incentives Archibald gives Murnau are taken away from him: his new car is blown up (by his own hand, no less), his assistant turns against him, his promotion only results in him having to clean up even more of Archibald's messes, and he is killed before he ever gets to use his vacation time.
- Big Bad Ensemble: Despite working against the Slaughterhouse Mercenaries, he can ultimately be considered an antagonist since he's Archibald's right-hand and tries to take his master's place after betraying and killing him.
- Big Bad Slippage: Despite being The Dragon for Archibald, it's not until he gets his body horrifically burned that he loses it and turns on everyone around him, becoming the main threat of the third act.
- Bitch in Sheep's Clothing: At first he seems like your regular Film Noir detective: coarse and uncooperative, but ultimately dedicated to finding the truth of what happened. Things start to slip when he tries to shoot Jane for blowing up his car (even though it was actually himself who was responsible)... and then it turns out that he's been on Archibald's payroll this entire time, and is more than willing to kill people and obstruct justice if it means he gets what he wants. After being disfigured by the fire, he completely drops any pretense of caring about anyone other than himself.
- Boom, Headshot!: How he takes out Archibald. He ends up on the receiving end in the climax, when Ludwig ambushes him at Archibald's funeral.
- Bullying a Dragon: Every mercenary the Detective ever threatens in the movie comes around to hit him back twice as hard with increasing severity:
- The Russian: Held up at gun point by the Detective at point-blank range, yet the Russian effortlessly overpowers and nearly kills him.
- The Butcher: Also held up at gunpoint and is ordered to drop its weapon. It immediately shoots the Detective’s leg. This leads to a sequence of events that end in him being completely burnt.
- Ludwig and Jane: The Smoker coerces the two into a game of Russian Roulette. Ludwig dies, then later revives and shoots the Detective dead. Jane would have killed the Smoker himself via a suicide bombing with a grenade.
- Cigar Chomper: It wouldn't be the Spy if he wasn't perpetually smoking a cigarette. Not even fighting for his life in the hospital seems to stop him.
- Deconstructed Character Archetype: Of the Private Detective. Not only is he dedicated to finding out what happened to Archibald to an almost psychotic degree, but he's willing to kill innocents and obstruct justice to achieve his goal. It's then later revealed that he acted as the corrupt Archibald's executioner and right-hand man during the Gravel Wars, executing his own comrades for a promotion. In the end, Murnau is just out for his own gain and thinks of nobody but himself.
- Decoy Protagonist: He's initially set up to be the focal character alongside Ludwig, only to get wounded and abducted by the Butcher shortly after he and Jane go into the slaughterhouse. From there the story alternates between Jane and Ludwig (with Cyclops serving as a tritagonist), while Murnau, as the Smoker, ends up becoming the main antagonist of the third act.
- The Dragon: He turns out to have been this for Archibald during the Gravel Wars, executing "traitors" and helping him whenever he got in over his head. But even he has his limits, as he shoots his former boss dead after discovering that Archibald was in on the kidnapping from the start.
- Didn't Think This Through: The Detective's Fatal Flaw is his rather half-thought out actions that keep causing him harm throughout the film.
- Dirty Cop: He's a private detective who acted as an executioner for Jules Archibald.
- Evil Sounds Raspy: His voice becomes harsh and raspy after being burned alive in the fire and becoming more outwardly ruthless.
- Expy: After accidentally setting himself on fire, he is left with a completely burnt face and a harsh, raspy voice. This combined with his suit and demeanor make him very similar to Harvey Dent, just without the split personality and having his whole face burnt off instead of half.
- Facial Horror: Has his face singed off in a fire around the halfway point of the film.
- Failed a Spot Check: How he ended up getting horribly burned. He failed to realize that the cannister he bashed the Butcher with had doused the interrogation room in gasoline, so when he tossed a lit cigarette behind him on the way out...
- Fan Disservice: We get to see his scorched and naked body while he's in the hospital, confirming that it's not only his face that was burnt to a crisp.
- Fatal Flaw: His carelessness. While he's not stupid per say, he has a tendency to not think things all the way through. Even his first appearance in the movie establishes this when he doesn't listen to Doe's warning about confronting Stalingrad on his own due to the Russian being much bigger than him and getting overpowered as a result.
- Frame-Up: During Archibald's funeral, he attempts to pin the blame on Ludwig. Keyword being attempts, as he gets shot in the head by Ludwig himself, abruptly putting an end to the entire plan.
- He Who Fights Monsters: After he suffers third-degree burns from his attempt to escape the Butcher, his suit turns black and his face is horribly scarred, making him resemble the Slaughterhouse mercenaries. By that point, he starts acting just like them.
- Humiliation Conga: Goes through an absolutely brutal one over the course of the movie, with every single instance of it being entirely his own fault. The Heavy is killed to save his life after he stupidly goes up against him alone to try and get info out of him, his car is destroyed due to his own carelessness, the Butcher captures him due to failing to shoot the armed and dangerous psychopath on sight, and he causes himself to be horribly burned after he accidentally sets himself on fire with a cigarette... after the Butcher had doused him in gasoline. By the end of the movie, he's lost everything, including his life when Fritz comes back to life and guns him down.
- Hypocrite: Twofold. Jacques calls Archibald out for his care for no one but himself, yet he's no better than him since he helped him out in his scheme, not to mention how he was willing to throw Jane Doe under the bus in spite of him saving him several times.
- Jerkass: While appearing at first to be a calm and level-headed professional, he gradually reveals himself to be greedy, self-serving and sociopathic. Even at the beginning, he's already bossy and dismissive towards Doe, who refers to him as a prick.
- Karmic Death: After forcing Ludwig to play Russian Roulette and attempting to frame him for Archibald's death, Jacques is shot in the head by the man after he comes back to life.
- Made of Iron: It wouldn't be surprising if his sheer hatred for Archibald and Jane was the only thing that kept him moving through the climax after sustaining third- and fourth-degree burns to his entire body.
- Malevolent Masked Man: Near the end of the film, Jacques has to wear a white mask with a vocal modulator to disguise his severe burns. By this point, he's also a monstrous human being who wants to cover up all his crimes to the public.
- Named by the Adaptation: The source material never gave the Spy an actual name outside of his class role to emphasize his Mysterious Past. Emesis Blue gives him the name of Jacques Murnau.
- Never My Fault: He blames Jane for blowing up his car and him and Archibald for his horrific burn scars when both were really a result of his own carelessness. Granted, Jane did flee when Jacques was being pinned down by the Butcher, but Jane was planning to come back to rescue him, and Jacques actually managed to escape the Butcher's clutches. He would have gotten out just fine if he hadn't tossed that lit cigarette behind him...
- Oral Fixation: He constantly smokes, even after it gets him burned alive.
- Professional Killer: He serves as Archibald's personal agent and hitman, killing any dissenters to BLU and rescuing Archibald any time he's in danger.
- Rule of Symbolism: During much of the film, the Detective is shown wearing a dapper suit, coat and hat to emphasize his commitment to his job and his desire to rescue Jules from certain death. After becoming horrifically disfigured after fighting and killing the Butcher, Jacques's burnt clothes and body now represent his ruthless, selfish and vengeance-filled persona as the Smoker.
- Secret Police: His job for Archibald amounts to this, tracking down and killing all enemies of the mayor while using the investigative techniques of a standard police detective.
- Ungrateful Bastard: Zig-Zagged. While his service to Governor Archibald was richly rewarded, the horrendous disfigurement he suffers during the rescue operation causes him to reconsider his priorities and ultimately murder his employer when he finds out his kidnapping was faked. In addition, he's furious with Jane Doe even after the latter saves him several times. In fairness, Doe had cost them some of their leads, though Jacques crosses the line by threatening to shoot him.
- Vocal Evolution: After getting his face burned off halfway through the film, Jacques' voice becomes significantly darker and raspier. He ends up having to wear a modulator to disguise it at the end of the film.
- Walking Spoiler: If the many white bars in this entry aren't enough to cue one in, the Detective isn't who he presents himself as.
- White Mask of Doom: Wears one of these to Archibald's funeral after his face is burnt off in a fire, complete with a voice modulator to mask the damage to his vocal cords.
- Wild Card: At first he works with Jane to save Archibald from the Slaughterhouse Mercenaries, but is revealed to be on Archibald's payroll to help cover-up his secret dealings. Then he turns on Archibald and kills him, going against Jane and Fritz purely for his own self-interest.
Jane Doe
Jane Doe
"I've already lost one man, I'm not gonna lose another."
Voiced by: JazzyJoeJr
"It's the voice of God, you son of a bitch — and I'm coming for you!"
BLU's Soldier, a war veteran who the Detective brings along in his search for the missing governor."It's the voice of God, you son of a bitch — and I'm coming for you!"
- Accidental Murder: Unwittingly sends a police officer to his death when he tells him to tail the Undertaker's hearse, only for the Undertaker to murder the poor officer and stuff his body in a dumpster.
- Adaptational Backstory Change: In canon, Jane Doe is a mentally ill man who never actually served in the military and went on a killing spree in Poland until long after the war was over. In this continuity, he was enlisted and did actually see combat. Or at least the original Jane Doe did—the one the story follows is a clone, presumably with false memories to match.
- Adaptational Heroism: While the Jane Doe of canon isn't precisely evil, he is an insane and violent mercenary. In this continuity, not only is he drastically more level-headed, but he constantly puts his life on the line to save others. Although he does leave Murnau behind with the Butcher, it's justified in that he was willing to shoot Jane for getting them spotted, and despite that Jane made an attempt to get back to him anyway. He is also shown to be greatly conflicted when Jacques passes him a script to read at Archibald's funeral that would frame Ludwig as being behind his murder when it was actually Jacques who killed him.
- Adaptational Intelligence: By no means is he a genius, but he's far from the rambling, overly-patriotic loon that is canon Soldier, being decently reliable in combat and surprisingly perceptive.
- Batman Gambit: When first facing the Hunter, Jane provokes him into shooting him where his body armor is, whereupon he plays play dead and floats towards his rocket launcher undetected. Of course, Soldier didn't know if he'd shoot for his body or his head.
- Bunny-Ears Lawyer: He's clearly not the brightest, but he proves himself to be very competent in combat and has excellent lateral thinking. An early example is when he accidentally listens in on police radio channels, then later uses them to help the Detective track down the hearse they are pursuing.
- Crazy-Prepared: Keeps a rocket launcher in the Detective's car and wears body armor in case he ever needs to go into heavy combat.
- Death Row: Before becoming a BLU mercenary, Jane Doe was executed via electric chair, with his body used for the Respawn Machine, and an earlier copy would later be executed by Archibald himself.
- Dumbass Has a Point: Jane Doe is very much book dumb, but his combat instincts are on the money when he warns the Detective not to confront the Russian close up as the man is twice the Detective's size. Naturally, the Detective refuses, and is overpowered as soon as the confrontation starts.
- Irony: Out of the three main characters, it's the clone who ends up being the most human.
- Laughing Mad: Instead of reading the cue card given to him at Archibald's funeral, he erupts into panicked laughter before being pushed away by the Detective.
- Only Sane Man: By the end, he's just about the only character who hasn't gone completely insane after what occurred at the Conagher Slaughterhouse - and that isn't saying much, since he's still been immensely ravaged by it both physically and mentally.
- Pay Evil unto Evil: He coldly empties his gun into Blutarch Mann, presumably to end the feud between RED and BLU and all the suffering taking place because of it.
- Pocket Protector: In Chapter 6: Katabasis, he is suddenly shot in the chest but manages to survive thanks to his flask.
- Sole Survivor: By the end, Doe is the only one of the mercenaries to still be alive. Judging by his attempt to pull a murder-suicide on the Detective later, it's likely that he doesn't want to be.
- Shell-Shocked Veteran: Implied by his hallucination of the war, which sees him in a water-filled trench while his dead comrades are all scattered around him. The burning American flag in the distance doesn't help either.
- Suicide Attack: He comes very close to using a grenade to blow up himself and the Detective at the funeral, but is ultimately thwarted thanks to Ludwig killing the Detective himself.
- Taking You with Me: Doe tries to blow himself up with a grenade with Jacques standing next to him during Jules' funeral. Thankfully, Ludwig kills The Smoker first, and Doe instead uses his grenade to blow up a group of mercenaries who try to kill Ludwig.
- Tomato in the Mirror:It's implied that he was grown in a vat solely to act as the Detective's aide. He inherited all the memories of the original Jane, and only finds out the truth when he stumbles into a cryogenics lab full of backup copies of himself.
- Trash Talk: When the Hunter keeps missing Jane Doe, Jane mocks him by saying "Looks like Ray Charles traded the piano for an M40."Context
- War Hero: Jane Doe turns out to be a Medal of Honor recipient from President Lyndon Johnson. However, this did not stop him from getting a death sentence for an unknown crime prior to being found respawn compatible.
- What Happened to the Mouse?: What happens to him after he shoots Blutarch dead is unknown, with the newspaper afterwards simply describing him (as part of the two gunmen) fleeing the scene.
Jeremy
Jeremy
"Doc... what is wrong with the Respawn Machine?"
Voiced by: Cameron Nichols
"Doc? If they ever hit you with something... you hit back twice as hard. You hear me?"
The ex-Scout of BLU, who's still reeling from losing his job and moving back in with his mother. He's good friends with Ludwig."Doc? If they ever hit you with something... you hit back twice as hard. You hear me?"
- Adaptational Nice Guy: Is a lot less arrogant and egotistical than Scout usually is, likely as a result of the incident traumatising him.
- Adaptational Wimp: Isn't as lightning quick or proficient in combat as the canon Scout, owing to the number of side effects that using the Respawn Machine has given him. This leads to his capture and death at the hands of Zed Conagher when he runs into a sentry.
- Bound and Gagged: Ludwig finds him tied up in a coffin at the Conagher Slaughterhouse.
- Came Back Wrong: Seems to have been the survivor hit the hardest by the side effects of using the Respawn Machine, with Ludwig's notes mentioning that he is experiencing seizures, schizophrenia-like symptoms, and brain atrophy to the point where he can no longer live on his own and must be cared for by his mother. Unfortunately, neither he nor his mother live very long after his diagnosis, and Ludwig's later attempt to revive him with the Respawn Machine only makes things worse when the machine fails and effectively liquefies him.
- Cruel and Unusual Death: Zed murders him with a cordless drill, and while we thankfully don't see it, his piercing screams make it very clear how much agony he's in.
- Ear Ache: His ear was one of the parts Zed used his drill on.
- Intergenerational Friendship: With Ludwig; His kidnapping is what spurs Ludwig to jump into action and go to the slaughterhouse, and he later attempts to bring him back after Zed murders him.
- Sacrificial Lamb: He doesn't live past the first 1/3 of the film, dying a horrible death at the hands of the Conagher brothers, setting the bleak tone for the rest of the movie.
- Sound-Only Death: We only get to hear his tortured screams when Zed murders him with a drill.
- We Used to Be Friends: He is incredibly hostile to Ludwig when they reunite, punching him once he's freed from his bonds and running away. This sadly results in his death, as the Conagher brothers spot him and shoot him down with a sentry before Zed drags him away to be tortured.Ludwig: Wait, Scout! I'm trying to help you!
Jeremy: If I had a gun... I'd shoot ya, you sick bastard...!
The Slaughterhouse Mercenaries
In General
The mercenaries found at the Conagher Slaughterhouse, the majority of which have been turned into monsters that are out for blood.
- And I Must Scream: If the phrases "It's longer than you think" or "It's eternity in there" are anything to go by, those that have died have to wait an ungodly amount of time in the afterlife until the Respawn Machine brings them back. By the time it does bring them back, the process leaves their bodies and mental states intensely damaged.
- Ax-Crazy: Almost all of the Slaughterhouse Mercs have broken minds thanks to being brought back from death, either due to the Respawn Machine or the Undead Medic's experiments; these former mercenaries are nothing more than damaged, mentally unstable creatures that'll kill anyone that gets in their way.
- Big Bad Ensemble: They serve as the film's main antagonists but oppose the Detective, who also serves as a Big Bad.
- Came Back Wrong: With the exception of Cyclops, all the mercenaries of the Slaughterhouse are malformed in some way owing to the Respawn Machine, both physically and mentally.
- Defector from Decadence: The Slaughterhouse Mercs consist of RED and BLU members that assumably left their initial teams to make up this group. The Detective hints at this when he questions Stalingrad in the alley about his new allegiance and that he'll get killed for crossing BLU.
- Evil Wears Black: Aside from Cyclops and the Undead Medic, the Slaughterhouse Mercs wear pitch-black cosmetics and clothes.
- A Fate Worse Than Death: The phrase "better off dead" best describes the Slaughterhouse Mercs. Sure, you're virtually immortal thanks to being revived by a machine that can bring a person back from the grave, but is it truly worth it when you come back as an undead monster? If that wasn't bad enough, merely waiting in the afterlife for god knows how long until revival is another kind of hell. It's no wonder these mercenaries have lost their minds.
- Implacable Man: Some of the mercenaries are slightly more durable than the normal mercs (who are already pretty durable in their own right) due to their abnormal nature, being able to shrug off injuries that would easily put someone down like gunshots, blown off limbs, incineration and head trauma.
- No Name Given: Most of the mercenaries' names are never revealed — the credits and screenplay instead refer to them by epithets (or, in Stalingrad'snote and Cyclops' case, the nicknames Jane Doe gave them respectively). The Conagher Brothers themselves have names, so they avert this.
- Resurrective Immortality: Horribly Deconstructed. Emesis Blue shows the terrifying problems that a machine that brings a person back from death can cause. The Undead Mercs were regular people, but the Respawn Machine turned them into horrific monsters with severe mental and physical problems. It's a miracle that Cyclops is the only one not screwed up.
- Sanity Slippage: Most, not if all of the mercenaries have been driven violently insane by the Respawn Machine, turning them into homicidal maniacs. However, some cases are more severe than others, with some being left completely feral and borderline mindless.
- Was Once a Man: The Slaughterhouse Mercenaries are still technically human, but the Respawn Machine has warped their bodies and minds so horribly that one could barely call them that anymore; if anything, they're more akin to ghouls than people.
The Undertaker
The Undertaker
- Ambiguously Evil: Whether he meant to get the protagonists killed or to bring down the Emesis company by luring them into the Slaughterhouse is left up in the air.
- Ambiguously Human: Who or what the Undertaker truly was is never found out. He might not even be real to begin with.
- The Chessmaster: Appears to be responsible for luring the BLU mercenaries to the slaughterhouse, leaving clues and opening passageways for them to learn the truth about the facility.
- Part of Soldier's PTSD-induced hallucination shows the Undertaker literally playing chess with Ludwig, implying a connection between the two.
- Cop Killer: He kills a police officer that Doe sent to follow him, leaving his body in a dumpster.
- Sole Survivor: He can be seen in one scene in the middle of a crowd escaping from the church after Ludwig kills the detective, being the only Slaughterhouse member known to be still alive (leaving aside his possible undead status and implying he's even real to begin with).
- Undertaker: Travels around in a black hearse, hence his nickname.
- Wild Card: The Undertaker retrieved the briefcase for the Conaghers from the Detective, yet at the same time appears to be responsible for luring him, Jane Doe and Ludwig to the slaughterhouse, leaving enough clues to cause the downfall of the facility and those responsible for the Respawn Machine, meaning that his ultimate motives and stance remain as much a mystery as he himself is.
Stalingrad
Stalingrad/The Russian
"Builders League..."
Click here to see him when he was alive
"You want Voiced by: Chad Payne
"It does not concern you."
An undead Heavy wearing a skull-shaped metal mask. He was killed by Jane Doe near the start of the film and is later resurrected by the RED Medic into an unstoppable monstrosity that now roams the Conagher Slaughterhouse."It does not concern you."
- Attack on the Heart: His first death comes when he was shot in the heart by Jane Doe while he was fighting the Detective, killing him on the spot much to Jacques' chagrin.
- The Big Guy: The Russian is the most physically powerful and biggest of the Slaughterhouse Mercenaries; he gets even stronger and more imposing after his revival by the Undead Medic to the point where he can crush a man's skull in one of his hands.
- Came Back Strong: Stalingrad was already a strong enforcer when he was alive, but being resurrected by Helix's experiments makes him nigh-unstoppable. It literally takes an entire building falling on him just to take him down for good.
- Death from Above: What finally kills him - not a grenade or rocket, but the entirety of the burning Slaughterhouse falling onto and crushing him.
- Expy: He's a combination of two Tyrants from the Resident Evil series. He has a hat and demeanor similar to Mr. X, even getting upset when his hat gets knocked off. The other half is Nemesis, with a One-Word Vocabulary in the form of "Builders League".
- Implacable Man: Even as a Heavy and among the other Slaughterhouse mercs he's this, able to take eye-stabs, bullets, grenades, and rockets point blank without any real reaction.
- The Juggernaut: Before his death, he beats Jacques in the alley and has him at his mercy before Jane Doe shoots and kills him. After the Undead Medic revives him, he towers over the other mercs and becomes unstoppable. Anything the heroes throw at The Russian does little but slow him down; bullets, bombs, and even a rocket from an RPG can't stop him. All these do is buy the heroes enough time to run from him.
- Menacing Mask: After he dies, Stalingrad wears the Mad Mask
, a skull-shaped mask made of iron around his face. - Mother Russia Makes You Strong: He is known as "The Russian" in the screenplay and becomes one of the strongest characters in the movie after his resurrection, shrugging off bullets and even being burned alive like it's nothing.
- Nice Job Fixing It, Villain: He punches Jane away, which saves him from the slaughterhouse collapsing.
- Only Known by Their Nickname: Stalingrad is a mocking nickname created by Jane Doe, and the screenplay only refers to him as "The Russian".
- Run or Die: Despite shooting, stabbing, and blasting him, the protagonists realize they can't hope to stop The Russian and choose to run for their lives.
- Sharp-Dressed Man: He wears a black suit when he meets with the Detective. He retains it for a while when he reappears as an undead monster at the slaughterhouse.
The Hunter
The Hunter
"Don't you wanna die for something worth dying for?"
Voiced by: Chad Payne
"See you on the other side."
Formerly the RED Sniper, he suffered severe mental trauma from the Respawn Machine and is now part of the conspiracy to kidnap the man he holds responsible for his pain."See you on the other side."
- An Arm and a Leg: One of his legs is blown off by Jane Doe and is replaced with a metal peg leg, making his steps very loud and audible.
- Corrupted Character Copy: Of the Christian Brutal Sniper. Both were former RED Snipers who, after an altercation involving a BLU Spy, wind up dying a horrible death, resurrect, and start wearing all-black. Though in contrast with the CBS, who is a master in hand-to-hand combat, the Hunter is seen exclusively using ranged weapons and is admittedly pretty bad at doing so. And, of course, the most notable similarity is their taste in hats, both donning a Holy Hunter.
- Death Seeker: Before Doe ends him for good, The Hunter admits that he's been waiting for this to happen.
- Fate Worse than Death: He makes it clear that this is how he feels about being brought back by the Respawn Machine, and it's easy to see why.
- Handicapped Badass: He's lost one leg, but like the rest of the Slaughterhouse mercenaries, he's a very real threat, making up for his lack of mobility with his sniper rifle and rocket launcher.
- Imperial Stormtrooper Marksmanship Academy: Despite being a professional marksman, he misses every shot except one that hits Jane's leg, and even that one is non-fatal. While never outright said, it can be inferred that his resurrection and subsequent loss of sanity have had a seriously negative impact on his aiming skills.
- Only Sane by Comparison: He is a delusional psychopath, but when compared to his other teammates in the Slaughterhouse, he's far more lucid and mentally intact.
- Too lucid for his own good. As it is implied that most mercs don't have memories about the phase before they respawn or have dreams about it at worst, his audiotape makes it clear that he's fully conscious during the process. "I've seen the other side. It's longer than you think."
- Slasher Smile: His mouth is permanently locked in a pained-looking rictus grin.
- The Starscream: While Archibald's kidnapping turned out to be fake, the Hunter would love nothing more than to kill the fat bastard himself.
- Villain Has a Point: While he is murderously insane, the Hunter isn't exactly wrong when he asks Doe if he's willing to risk his life for a corrupt bastard like Jules Archibald. Doe has no response, having already found a photo of Archibald executing a previous clone of himself or possibly even the original Doe.The Hunter: You really wanna die for that fat bastard?
The Butcher
Butcher
Click here to see their face
An especially frightening Pyro that works at the Conagher Slaughterhouse.
- Adaptational Name Change: Originally called the Pyro in the game, but is known as The Butcher here.
- Ax-Crazy: Right next to the Conagher Brothers as the most deranged and sadistic of the Slaughterhouse Mercenaries. While quiet and subdued, they like to toy with their prey.
- The Butcher: They live up to their namesake well.
- Evil Laugh: Even though they only communicate through deep, rumbling noises, they make a sound reminiscent of a sinister chuckle before opening fire on Murnau when he tells them to drop their weapon and take off their mask.
- Facial Horror: The Butcher's face is completely burnt off, with little more than charred flesh and yellowed teeth remaining.
- Hoist by His Own Petard: The sheer size of their axe makes them rather easy to disarm, resulting in Ludwig easily managing to get the advantage in their fight by simply knocking it out of their hands and turning the axe on them.
- Literal Disarming: Chopped off Cyclops' arm and Jeremy's mother's head, then is subjected to this themself when Ludwig uses their axe to cut off their leg at the knee before decapitating them.
- Mythology Gag: The Butcher's mask is based on Pyro's face from Valve's earliest sketches, before they decided to cover it up completely with the iconic gas mask instead.
- Sadist: Shows shades of this. When they have Jacques at their mercy, they pick up and show off a variety of weapons to possibly torture him with and shows him their face under their mask to scare him. In a fight with Ludwig while on fire, they grab his face with their burning hand just to hurt him.
- The Speechless: Compared to the normal Pyro, the Butcher is near-silent, probably owing to their burn injuries. The vocalizations they do make are muffled noises even quieter than the ones Pyro makes.
- Stock Slasher: Has the white mask, quiet behavior, and oversized bladed weapon typical of a slasher villain.
- The Unintelligible: They only communicate through deep, muffled growls.
- Weapon-Based Characterization: While they used a submachine gun in their first appearance, they seem to have a fondness for a Viking-like axe, which helps solidify them as a silent yet deadly threat.
The Creature
The Creature
- Attack! Attack! Attack!: He'll blindly attack anybody he sees, likely due to the Respawn Machine's effects on his brain.
- Glass Cannon: He hits like a truck, but goes down pretty quickly when Jane impales him in the head with a crowbar.
- Humanoid Abomination: He is this even compared to the other mercenaries of the Slaughterhouse. In addition to his unnaturally long limbs, he seems to be completely feral, feeding on human flesh and attacking anything he sees.
- No Name Given: The screenplay only refers to him as "The Creature".
- Noodle People: His limbs are scarily elongated, which adds to his incredibly eerie presence.
- Set a Mook to Kill a Mook: A minute or two after recovering from his head impalement, he ambushes the only character out in the open at that very moment: Stalingrad.
- Static Screw: When he's close to grabbing Jane Doe on the stairs, the screen slowly turns to static until Jane strikes back.
- Whatever Happened to the Mouse?: The Creature was last seen chasing Jane Doe out of Conagher Slaughterhouse, but it's unknown if he escaped or if he died with Stalingrad when the slaughterhouse burnt down.
The Jaunts
The Jaunts
"I've seen the other side. It's longer than you think."
—The Hunter
The unlucky RED mercenaries who have been left to rot in the spawn room, becoming zombies by the time Jane Doe and Cyclops encounter them.
- Ambiguous Situation: It's unclear if the Jaunts are a result of the Respawn Machine or the same type of experiments that Helix performed on Stalingrad.
- It Can Think: Played for Laughs surprisingly when the Jaunts initially try to force their way through a single doorway, but soon realize that they can't fit all at once and a few withdraw momentarily for others to go through first.
- Removing the Head or Destroying the Brain: While not as invincible as Stalingrad, they take body shots without a problem and are only taken out when they are either shot in the head or completely destroyed (via explosions, crushing or even electrocution).
The Conagher Brothers
Zed and Maynard Conagher
Zed Conagher
Maynard Conagher
Voiced by: Anton Pelizzari (Zed), Chad Payne (Maynard)
Zed: Well, whoever let you out... I'm glad they did, because... I like company.
Maynard: Why does he get to have all the fun?
Zed: Well, whoever let you out... I'm glad they did, because... I like company.
Maynard: Why does he get to have all the fun?
Two Engineers unaffiliated with RED or BLU that work at the family slaughterhouse.
- Actually Pretty Funny: Maynard is heard laughing after Jeremy spat at Zed. He could just be mocking Jeremy's situation, however.
- Ambiguously Human: Maynard is shown to have an Eyeless Face, yet in relation to the undead mercenaries that roam their slaughterhouse, he and Zed don't share any of their other supernatural traits, and both go down easily. The film never specifies if they're simply Ax-Crazy humans that have a Red Right Hand, or if they too were affected by the Respawn Machine.
- Ax-Crazy: It's pretty obvious that the two of them are homicidal lunatics, though Zed is clearly the more psychopathic of the two.
- Big Brother Bully: It's unknown if Zed is older or younger than Maynard, but either way, Zed calls him a dumbass and punches him in the face when he thinks he didn't lock up Jeremy properly.
- Brains and Brawn: Zed is the brains to Maynard's brawn.
- Canon Foreigner: Dell was never implied to have had any brothers in the original game, or the tie-in comics. This makes them original creations for this film.
- Cold-Blooded Torture: Zed tortures Jeremy to death with an electric drill.
- Die Laughing: Both brothers let out demented cackles to Ludwig as they go down.
- Eyeless Face: After Ludwig smashes a beer bottle on his face, Maynard Conagher is revealed to be missing both of his eyes.
- Even Evil Has Loved Ones: Maynard is concerned for his younger brother when he learns that Dustbowl is gone and Dell has disappeared.
- Fat Bastard: Maynard has a large gut and is an antagonistic psycho to boot. He ends up being the first to properly kill Ludwig, although he quickly gets better and kills Maynard.
- Hidden Depths: While he may be lacking in the brains department, Maynard turns out to be a talented pianist.
- Hillbilly Horrors: Zed and Maynard are both Southerners and quite possibly some of the most terrifying (living) characters in the movie.
- I Resemble That Remark!: Maynard accuses his phone contact of being insensitive in the same breath he yells at the tortured Scout to stop screaming.
- Jerkass: Both of them are assholes, though Zed takes the cake by hitting and insulting Maynard for not keeping an eye on Jeremy.
- Knight of Cerebus: Zed and Maynard's presence marks the point where the horrors of Conagher Slaughterhouse shift into full gear and the levity starts to die down. Zed himself provides one of the most horrifying moments in the movie by personally torturing Jeremy to death with an electric drill, and while this is never shown on camera, the drilling and Jeremy's chilling screams are heard in all of their glory. Even when Ludwig kills them, it's ultimately a Pyrrhic Victory for him because of Jeremy's death.
- Quick Draw: Zed tried to do this on Ludwig, but botches it by drawing his drill instead of his pistol.
- Small Role, Big Impact: The brothers are quickly killed off by Ludwig surprisingly early in the film. Despite that, they built the slaughterhouse the entire film revolves around, are responsible for Jeremy's death, and set the dark tone the rest of the film has.
- Sibling Rivalry: Zed berates and hits Maynard for supposedly not locking the coffin properly. Maynard further expresses his annoyance that Zed gets to enjoy torturing Jeremy to death while he has to stay in the intel room.
- This Is a Drill: Zed uses a cordless drill to murder Jeremy.
- Walking Spoiler: It's difficult to talk about Zed and Maynard without inevitably spoiling their involvement in Jeremy's death, or that Maynard killing Ludwig reveals the latter's Resurrective Immortality.
- Wild Card: In the wider Gravel Wars conflict at least. They have no vested interest in the conflict between RED and BLU, instead randomly taking over a RED base and turning it into their personal slaughterhouse.
Cyclops
Cyclops
"You're right where you belong, you fat, crooked bastard!"
Voiced by: Chad Payne
"Oi, you gonna finish that?"
A RED Demoman locked inside Conagher Slaughterhouse, and the last RED mercenary alive on the premise. With Soldier's help, he is able to break free of his prison and help investigate the facility."Oi, you gonna finish that?"
- The Alcoholic: He is properly introduced when Jane Doe is drinking from a flask and he asks if he's going to finish it. His alcoholism becomes his undoing as he enters a room with a broken sign that reads out "bar" but is actually a cryogenics lab, locking himself in and freezing to death.
- An Arm and a Leg: Lost his left arm at the shoulder, having had it hacked off by the Butcher.
- Deuteragonist: Of Jane's story after he gets separated from the Detective, and is the Tritagonist of the entire film overall. Albeit, he doesn't keep this status for long, dying roughly half way through the film.
- Dying Dream: He dreams about meeting Dell at a bar while he's dying from hypothermia.
- Enemy Mine: Despite the rivalry between the RED and BLU teams, Cyclops and Jane are forced to team up against the monsters roaming the Slaughterhouse. It helps that Cyclops is probably the only one within the Slaughterhouse who's still alive at this point.
- Handicapped Badass: He may be missing an arm and an eye, but he's still rather good with an M1911 pistol.Jane Doe: He's been handy, sir.
Jules: He's got none left! - Kill It with Ice: He freezes to death when he accidentally locks himself inside the cryogenics lab.
- Mythology Gag: A RED Demoman teaming up with a BLU soldier is a reference to TF2's "WAR!" update from 2009, where the friendship between the RED Demo and the BLU Soldier was a major plot point.
- Off the Wagon: If Dell is right, then Cyclops had managed to kick his alcoholism prior to the slaughterhouse incident. He ends up relapsing because of said incident, and it inadvertently leads to his death.
- Only Known by Their Nickname: Cyclops is the nickname Jane Doe came up for this Demoman, and no one refers to him as anything else.
- Token Good Teammate: He's the only RED mercenary in Conagher Slaughterhouse that hasn't become a deranged undead monster. Either because he hasn't died yet, or he has, but he managed to keep his sanity while the rest of the mercs lost theirs.
The Undead Medic
Undead Medic
"To hell with Helix, the old fools. They don't deserve this."
Voiced by: Chad Payne
"Normally we have papers signed for these things but... ah, no matter."
A RED Medic who was responsible for reviving Stalingrad but got killed for his trouble."Normally we have papers signed for these things but... ah, no matter."
- Big "NO!": Lets one out as Stalingrad grabs him and flings him into his desk of supplies.
- Bit Character: In contrast to the other Slaughterhouse Mercs, the Undead Medic gets little focus. He just performs unethical medical experiments on dead mercenaries for science while believing Helix doesn't deserve his achievements, speaks a total of seven lines (not counting his undead form's growls), and his only appearances end with him being killed by Stalingrad, who he resurrected. Despite this, it is because of his experimenting that the latter Came Back Strong.
- Electricity Knocks You Out: Ludwig puts him on the receiving end of this by shoving the broken hose of his Medigun into his skull. Subverted, as he remains conscious long enough to crawl towards an approaching Stalingrad's foot.
- For Science!: Performed undocumented medical experiments on deceased mercenaries, believing Helix didn't deserve his achievements. This leads to his death at the hands of Stalingrad, one of the products of said experiments. For this reason, he's arguably closest in personality to the canon Medic.
- Head Crushing: Stalingrad finishes off the Undead Medic by crushing his head into a pulp.
- Hoist by His Own Petard: His unsanctioned revival of Stalingrad ends up killing him twice.
- Playing with Syringes: He performed undocumented medical experiments on deceased mercenaries For Science! While what the previous experiments entailed aren't explicitly shown, his latest experiment on Stalingrad's corpse resulted in said subject coming back to life while growing in size and immediately killing his resurrector.
- Scary Stitches: The Medic is shown to have stitches running across the center of his face. It's initially hidden by the surgical mask he's wearing, but we get a better look at them when Ludwig tears the mask off after killing him.
- Small Role, Big Impact: Although he has little screen time and died in both of his appearances, he brought Stalingrad back as an Implacable Man, who becomes a persistent threat throughout the film.
- Truer to the Text: Unlike Ludwig, this Medic has far more in common with his game counterpart, being a gleeful Mad Scientist who enjoys conducting scientific medical experiments to satiate his own ego.
Others (UNMARKED SPOILERS)
Jules Archibald
Jules Archibald
"The war is their business, and mine is to drag it out for as long as humanly possible!"
Voiced by: David Love
"Mercenaries are very cheap these days! With a Respawn Machine on every frontline, there will be no worry!"
The BLU Civilian, founder of the Jules Archibald Foundation, and the Governor of New Mexico in 1968. He has a vested interest in Builders League United and Emesis Pharmaceuticals, and his dealings in those companies lead to his kidnapping in late October, mere weeks away from election day."Mercenaries are very cheap these days! With a Respawn Machine on every frontline, there will be no worry!"
- Antagonistic Governor: He's the current governor of New Mexico and a corrupt piece of work with many horrid deeds to his name.
- Asshole Victim: The film delves deeply into all of the horrible acts he has done that lead to current events. From playing both of the Manns to keep their Forever War going, conducting horrible experiments to perfect the Respawn Machine (killing untold amounts of death row prisoners), executing anyone he deems guilty of dissenting, and overall being a disgustingly remorseless and unrepentantly corrupt scumbag. With a rap sheet like his, his death via a headshot courtesy of the Detective is a quick and merciful end for a horrible monster like him.
- Corrupt Corporate Executive: He is the founder of the Jules Archibald Foundation, and not only is he complicit in the conspiracy to prolong the conflict between RED and BLU, but had Murnau serve as his secret policeman to execute "traitors". His most heinous act was to use death row inmates as mercenaries experimented upon using the Respawn Machine, then selling the tech and the mercs to both sides of the war.
- Corrupt Politician: He's the governor of New Mexico who has been purposely prolonging a war between two idiot billionaires and their companies to line his own pockets.
- Dirty Coward: It's made obvious Jules relies on the Detective and many others for his own dirty work. He even fakes his own kidnapping just to keep his own sorry ass out of any investigations into his shady dealings. Before his death at the hands of the Smoker, Jules is terrified and he tries to desperately reason with him to stay alive, but it doesn't do him any good.
- Evil Brit: Jules speaks with a distinct upper-class English accent, and is one of the most despicable characters in the entire film.
- Fat Bastard: Jules is a quite rotund man, and he's a deeply corrupt lowlife who goes to disturbing lengths for power and money. Both Cyclops and the Hunter even refer to him as this.
- Faked Kidnapping: It comes to light that Archibald doesn't consider himself kidnapped to his lawyer, and it's implied it is all a ruse to avoid investigations into his dealings with Redmond.
- Faking the Dead: Contemplates faking his death by using the Respawn Machine on himself, though states he'd rather it be as a last resort since he's aware of the risks involved. He doesn't need to, as Murnau shoots him in the head soon after.
- Greater-Scope Villain: The one behind pretty much all the events of the story.
- Horrifying the Horror: Even he is genuinely horrified when he sees Jacques's burned face.Jules: Good God!
- Karmic Death: Is executed by his very own right-hand man, the very person who served as his executioner that killed traitors.
- Jerkass: A gigantic one. He's pompous, cowardly, arrogant, greedy, and has absolutely no regard for anyone except himself.
- No Animosity in the Afterlife: If Dell's Bar does represent the afterlife, then he doesn't show many reactions to both Ludwig and Jeremy when he encounters both of them despite the two being responsible for his troubles in life.
- Playing Both Sides: Archibald is part of The Conspiracy which works to prolong the Gravel Wars for as long as possible. His contribution was through his foundation working to develop and sell the respawn machine and the nine mercenary classes to Blutarch, then selling the same device and the copies of the mercenaries it produces to Redmond.
- Pet the Dog: Jules is an amoral governor and businessman, but he's friendly toward Jacques and rewards him for doing his dirty work. Then again, he only gave those to Jacques as incentives when he looked unsure about killing three mercenaries guilty of treason.
- Politically Incorrect Villain: On top of being an already corrupt scumbag, he needlessly antagonizes Cyclops for missing an arm, despite helping Doe find him.
Emesis Pharmaceuticals
Emesis Pharmaceuticals
Less known is its subsidiary Helix, which is responsible for the development of the Respawn Machine.
- Evil, Inc.: Under its subsidiary Helix, Emesis Pharmaceuticals undertook highly unethical experiments with the Respawn Machine that killed 90% of test subjects and made the other 10% company property to be sold as mercenaries.
Agent Stemmons
Agent Stemmons
"Whatever it was you saw inside Conagher Slaughterhouse.. you are not to speak of it with anyone. Not a soul. Do I make myself clear?"
Voiced by: Chad Payne
"There's nothing left of it. And I think that's for the best."
A CIA agent who was monitoring the activities of Jules Archibald. Not much else is known about him other than the fact that he knows of what happened in Conagher Slaughterhouse."There's nothing left of it. And I think that's for the best."
- Even Evil Has Standards: Agent Stemmons is working to cover up the events in Conagher Slaughterhouse from the wider public, but even he was disturbed by Jane Doe's discoveries and thought its destruction to be for the best.
- Evil Sounds Raspy: Speaks with a deep, raspy voice during Jane Doe's debriefing.
- The Faceless: Agent Stemmons' face is always enshrouded in darkness, making his facial features impossible to see.
- Hide the Evidence: Debriefs Jane Doe to extract a guarantee that he won't reveal what really happened in Conagher Slaughterhouse.
- Pet the Dog: Gives Jane Doe a seemingly sincere reassurance that the Detective will pull through his injuries, still believing both of them to be on good terms.
The Mann Brothers
Redmond and Blutarch Mann
"Did ya kill him?"
Voiced by: Chad Payne (Redmond), David Love (Blutarch)
Two idiotic quadridecacentennial billionaires that have fought over a hundred years to capture the other's property over a wasteland in New Mexico that only contains gravel. The so-called Gravel Wars form the impetus of the two Team Fortress games.- Adapted Out: There's no indication that their third brother Gray exists in this film.
- All for Nothing: Ultimately neither brother wins the Gravel Wars, as Jane Doe shoots Blutarch to death while Redmond is mowed down by Ludwig as he's fleeing the scene in a stolen ambulance.
- Dies Differently in Adaptation: In the comics, Redmond and Blutarch were both murdered by their brother, Gray, after he became tired of their utter incompetency. Here, Blutarch is shot dead by Jane Doe after his car crashes, while Redmond is run over by a fleeing Ludwig as he celebrates outliving his brother.
- Dumbass Has a Point: During a phone-call with Archibald discussing the respawn machine, Blutarch warns Archibald about the possibility of gaps in the process. Archibald brushes this concern as a joke. As the rest of the film shows, Blutarch was right to be worried.
- Everyone Has Standards: He may be a crotchety, petty, and pompous old man, but even Redmond finds the Detective's graphic description of Jeremy's mother's corpse uncalled for at a funeral.
- Knight of Cerebus: Inverted. Their appearance marks the end of the really grotesque horror, and the film begins to feel like the original TF2 in tone.
- Last Disrespects: Redmond's reaction to seeing his brother Blutarch dead?Redmond: Good gravel, I won! I outlived you, brother! I AM THE LAST MANN STANDIN- (Gets hit by the car Ludwig was driving)
- Laughably Evil: Just as cartoonishly and curmudgeonly petty and dickish as they were in the original game and comics, and stick out from the monstrosities and sadistic psychopaths because of this.
- Long-Lived: Both brothers have lived for more than a hundred years, with Blutarch lamenting the 58-year-old Archibald's death because he was "just a kid".
- Look Both Ways: Redmond is accidentally run over by Ludwig while he was fleeing the scene and Redmond was celebrating Blutarch's death.
- Oh, Crap!: Blutarch had a subtle one when he realizes that Jane is about to shoot him when approaching his vehicle.
- Out of Focus: Neither Mann brother plays a huge role in the film's events, but Blutarch is far more involved than Redmond is.
- Plucky Comic Relief: They provide some much-needed levity after the horrors of the film.
- Sibling Rivalry: The two of them have fought for over 100 years in order to claim each other's land. Redmond's only reaction to seeing Blutarch dead in his crashed car is to celebrate that he is the winner of their feud… while still in the middle of the road.
- Tempting Fate: Redmond spends his last moments celebrating outliving his brother only to get run over by an escaping Ludwig.
- Too Dumb to Live:
- Blutarch has his chauffeur run a red light in order to escape Ludwig. Their car is almost instantly T-boned as a result, giving Jane the opportunity he needed to gun Blutarch down.
- Redmond isn't any better, as he takes the time to gawk at the car crash and celebrate his brother's death while he's in the middle of the road. To the surprise of absolutely no one, he ends up getting run over before he can even finish his sentence.
- Undignified Death: Redmond gets unceremoniously run over by Ludwig's ambulance while gloating about his brother's death in the middle of the street.
- Villainous Friendship: Blutarch had a one-sided one with Jules. While Jules only saw both Mann brothers as a means to make a profit, Blutarch genuinely cared about him. He was heartbroken at his funeral, speaking of found memories of him, and even referred to him as his "best friend" and the "brother I never had" right in front of Redmond.
The Tenth Class
The Tenth Class
"My eyes hurt."
"It's eternity in there!"
1 of the 10 mercenaries that were compatible with the Respawn Machine. However, the Tenth Class was subject to the worst of the machine's side effects, with every known respawn putting him through excruciating pain.- Driven to Suicide: Having suffered the worst of the Respawn Machine's side effects, the Tenth Class commits suicide not long after the experiments were finished by shooting himself while Archibald was pitching the mercenaries to Blutarch Mann.
- Eye Scream: The second time the Tenth Class respawned, his eyes were gouged out and bleeding.
- Major Injury Underreaction: As seen above, his reaction to essentially having his eyes burst is simply, "my eyes hurt".
- Mythology Gag: Him being dead in the present day and largely forgotten is a reference to the tenth "Commander" class that was scrapped early in Team Fortress 2's development.
- Overdrawn at the Blood Bank: Implied by the massive quantities of blood seen around the Respawn Machine in the fourth trial.
- Nothing Is Scarier: We never see what happened to him in the fourth trial, but the lead-up indicates the result was nothing less than horrifying and resulted in him shooting himself soon after.
- Posthumous Character: The Tenth Class is dead even before the events of Team Fortress 2. However, Jane Doe sees hallucinations of him within Conagher Slaughterhouse.
- Trauma Conga Line: The four respawn trials shown leave him in progressively worse states. The first trial has him come back largely intact (as much as can be inferred from a shadowy figure), but severely mentally damaged. The second has him return without his eyes. The third has him respawn with violent bodily spasms and while his body remains shadowed, the results likely aren't pretty. The final trial isn't fully depicted, but vast quantities of (presumably) blood are shown staining the floors and the door to the Respawn Machine.
The Bartender
Dell Conagher
Voiced by: Anton Pelizzari
"Who says I've been hiding?"
A RED Engineer, who disappeared after the destruction of Dustbowl and now works as a bartender."Who says I've been hiding?"
- Ambiguous Situation: Since his only two scenes are later revealed to be Dying Dreams, it's ultimately left up in the air whether or not he's still alive after the Dustbowl incident.
- Dead Person Conversation: Claims that while he awaited respawn, he had a conversation with his grandfather Radigan, who has been dead for thirty years.
- Expy: Of Lloyd from The Shining, being an enigmatic bartender with ties to the overarching narrative.
- Uncertain Doom: Maynard hears from someone over the phone that Dell hasn't been seen since the destruction of Dustbowl, which upsets him. Considering the only times we see him are when two other characters are on death's door, it's heavily implied that Dell might've perished in the incident.
- Walking Spoiler: It's impossible to know anything about Dell thanks to his both appearances being the Dying Dreams of main characters.
