In General
Numpty
Set fire to your hair
You will often find Numpty hanging with similarly-named brother on a wall. Eventually, he discovered fire, got too curious, and set fire to his hair, killing him. He now does public speaking for baldness.
- Curious as a Monkey: He apparently lit the matches because he was curious.
- Ignorant About Fire: His bio states that he was curious about some lit matches, and that's how he set fire to his hair.
- Invisible Anatomy: He somehow set his hair on fire, despite not being drawn with any.
- Kill It with Fire: He died by having his hair on fire.
- Literal-Minded: According to his bio, when he lit the match, someone told him that "curiosity killed the cat". However, Numpty thought this was a good thing because he doesn't like cats.
- Nursery Rhyme: Has a brother of a similar name who sits on a wall with him, referencing the Humpty Dumpty rhyme.
Hapless
Poke a stick at a grizzly bear
Hapless was brought up by very kind nuns and thus had a very happy childhood. Unfortunately, however, he grew up to believe that everybody was as kind as the nuns, so he naively poked at an abused grizzly bear, who bit his whole head off.
- Bears Are Bad News: He dies as a result of a bear being bad news and biting his head off.
- Bullying a Dragon: He pokes a bear without considering it's dangerous, and his head gets eaten in return.
- Off with His Head!: His head is completely eaten.
- Orphanage of Love: It's implied he was raised in one, given he's said to have been brought up by kind nuns. Unfortunately, due to the sheltered upbringing he received, he thought the entire world was as kind, a belief that ended up getting him killed.
- The Pollyanna: His bio states that he is full of happiness and thinks everyone and everything is happy too. Unfortunately, he was a Horrible Judge of Character when it came to that bear...
- Shared Family Quirks: He's apparently a distant relative of Dummkopf, according to Dummkopf's bio. Both of them died by prodding things they shouldn't have.
- Wide-Eyed Idealist: Believes everything is full of love and happiness. That extended to grizzly bears.
Pillock
Eat medicine that's out of date
Pillock is a very forgetful bean, who even forgets his birthday. He has occasional moments of brilliance, but they never last long. For instance, he invented the cure for cancer, but immediately forgot it, and he tried to remind himself to check the expiration date on his medication, but he wrote it on the steam on his bathroom mirror. The next morning, the message had disappeared, so he died from taking expired medicine.
- Absent-Minded Professor: He's apparently a biomedical scientist since he cured cancer, but he's dopey enough to forget his own birthday.
- Artistic License – Medicine: What happened to him is highly unlikely to happen if a real person takes expired medication.
- Body Horror: He becomes swollen with bumps after his death.
- Forgetful Jones: Stated to be one in his bio, which was why he forgot to check the use-by date at the time of his death. He even forgot his own birthday!
- Genius Ditz: Apparently he invented the cure for all cancers, but then forgot it straight away.
- Smart Ball:
- Despite generally being dumb, he did manage to invent the cure for cancer... but then he forgot it.
- Downplayed for his alleged "moment of brilliance". He wrote himself a reminder... in the steam on his bathroom mirror.
- Way Past the Expiration Date: He dies by taking medicine past its expiration date.
Dippy
Use your private parts as piranha bait
Dippy is the product of a botched cloning experiment. The hope was to create a super species that could live under water, but instead they ended up with a stupid creature who was obsessed with dipping his private parts in whatever liquid he could find.
Dummkopf
Get your toast out with a fork
Dummkopf (which is German for "fool") is a distant relative of Hapless, who was named after his great grandfather, who enjoyed bomb disposal as a hobby. He died by sticking a fork into a plugged-in toaster in an attempt to retrieve his toast.
- Artistic License – Physics: An electric toaster would produce less electricity due to its walls being electricity-resistant, and it certainly won't generate enough electricity to fry someone's skin off.
- Bilingual Bonus: "Dummkopf" is the literal German word for "fool".
- Dem Bones: He becomes a living skeleton after he gets electrocuted.
- High-Voltage Death: His skin is completely fried off when electrocuted, leaving only his skeleton behind.
- Shared Family Quirks:
- He's apparently distantly related to Hapless in some way, and they're both fools who died from prodding at things they shouldn't have.
- His great-grandfather was apparently equally reckless, since he disposed of bombs as a hobby.
Dimwit
Do your own electrical work
Dimwit thinks he's a handyman, but is actually very bad at it. He's also colourblind, which eventually did him in when he couldn't tell two wires apart and set his house on fire trying to do his electrical work.
- Ash Face: He becomes completely covered in ash when his house burns down.
- Color Blind Confusion: Dimwit's colorblindness was a contributing factor in his death, since he got two wires confused.
- Doom It Yourself: He attempts to work on his house's wiring until he accidentally sets it on fire.
- House Fire: When he tries to do his own electrical work, he accidentally sets his house on fire.
- Ignorant About Fire: He just stands there while his house is on fire, which is what kills him.
- Kill It with Fire: Numpty's hair was set on fire, but Dimwit's entire house burned down, causing more damage.
- Wire Dilemma: Part of why he died was because, being colorblind, he couldn't tell the difference between two wires.
Stupe
Teach yourself how to fly
Stupe was given his name by his late father Dummo, a shark tamer. Like his father, Stupe's philosophy on life is that anything can be accomplished with effort. This eventually proved fatal when he tried to teach himself to fly and died in a plane crash.
Lax
Eat a two-week old unrefrigerated pie
Lax would eat anything. He used to perform in beauty pageants, where he'd eat a bucket of butter on stage. He also has no sense of smell, which caused him to die of food poisoning from a two-week old unrefrigerated pie.
- Big Eater: Stated to eat a lot in his description. Unfortunately, his appetite includes unrefrigerated pies.
- Camera Abuse: Lax vomits all over the camera before his death.
- Extreme Omnivore: Apparently, he eats everything.
- The Food Poisoning Incident: He dies by eating a two-week-old unrefrigerated pie.
- The Noseless: Well, none of the characters have noses, but it's really only a problem for Lax. According to his bio, he has no sense of smell, which led to his death when he ate a two-week-old unrefrigerated pie.
- Vomit Indiscretion Shot: After eating the pie, he vomits all over the screen. He is seen with vomit all over his mouth after his death.
Clod
Invite a psycho killer inside
Clod began his working life as a door-to-door door salesman. On discovering that people already had doors, he developed an irrational hatred for them and started a new career as a serial killer.
Doomed
Scratch a drug dealer's brand-new ride
Doomed laughs in the face of danger, which led to him scratching a new vehicle belonging to a drug dealer, who put him in a bag and beat him to death.
- Batter Up!: The drug dealer bats him to death.
- Die Laughing: According to his bio, he still laughed in his plastic bag as he was being beaten to death.
- Disproportionate Retribution: Why was he batted by the drug dealer? Because he scratched his new ride!
Numskull
Take your helmet off in outer space
Numskull is very rich, but also very stupid, and she loves bright lights. As such, she bought an abandoned Russian space station and became an astronaut to get a closer look at the stars. Upon reaching space, however, she took her helmet off to get an even closer look, making her explode.
Bungle
Use a clothes dryer as a hiding place
Bungle likes to play hide-and-seek and he never comes out of his hiding places even when he really should. As such, he was killed by hiding in a clothes dryer.
- Fold-Spindle Mutilation: Hiding in a cramped clothes dryer certainly wasn't comfortable, to say the least.
- Manchild: Is supposedly an adult bean, but loves to play hide-and-seek.
Mishap
Keep a rattlesnake as a pet
Mishap is the owner of a pet rattlesnake, who didn't get along with him. The snake disliked playing fetch with Mishap and being bathed in the afternoons, and eventually bit him on the eye when Mishap offered it a hot dog, because the snake wanted onions instead of mustard.
- Eye Scream: His eye is bitten by his pet rattlesnake.
- Naïve Animal Lover: He kept a rattlesnake and didn't know how to raise it properly, leading to him being bitten to death.
- Snakes Are Sinister: He dies because a snake bit him, and the song suggests all rattlesnakes are equally dangerous.
- Unusual Pets for Unusual People: He's dumb enough to think snakes like playing fetch and eating hot dogs, and he keeps a pet snake.
Dunce
Sell both your kidneys on the internet
Dunce is very dumb when it comes to both money and anatomy, so the way he died was by taking out both of his own kidneys and selling them online to make some money.
Calamity
Eat a tube of superglue
Calamity has always been disaster-prone, ever since she was a teenager. What eventually killed her was eating a tube of superglue due to her love of "tube-like" things.
- Ambiguous Gender: Was designed with no gender in mind, until she became a female.
- Black Comedy Pet Death: She apparently had a goldfish, who died of the plague. Zigzagged for her cat, who was "kidnapped" by a tornado, but it's unknown if this killed it.
- Cloud Cuckoo Lander: Apparently, she loves all things tube-like.
- Died Standing Up: She's still standing after dying.
- Dies Wide Open: Her eyes are still open after her death. The only thing that signifies her death is her dropping the tube of superglue.
- Paste Eater: She eats a tube of superglue and gets completely paralyzed.
- Wink "Ding!": If the player successfully prevents her from falling over, she winks to the camera with an audible ding noise.
Ninny
"I wonder what's this red button do?"
Ninny is a joker who loves everything red. He eventually met his demise after pressing a red button, which caused a huge explosion.
Botch
Dress up as a moose during hunting season
There are two things in this world that Botch loves to do most. The first is dressing up like a moose and the second is running around the forest during hunting season. Once a year, Botch likes to combine his two favourite pastimes - but it never ends very well for him.
Doofus
Disturb a nest of wasps for no good reason
As a child Doofus was prone to head injuries. As such, his parents banned him from playing ball, so now he likes to throw around round objects. This eventually killed him when he did it to a wasps' nest.
Stumble
Stand on the edge of a train station platform
Stumble likes listening to dubstep music on his headphones to pass the time while waiting for the train to work. Eventually, he did this while standing too close to the edge of the platform, fell over, and got hit by the train.
Bonehead
Drive around the boomgates at a level crossing
Bonehead loves his car and hates trains because he thinks they get in the way. He's extremely impatient, so he got run over by a train while trying to drive around some boom gates.
Putz
Run across the tracks between the platforms
Putz is very lazy, so he's always taking shortcuts. This is what killed him when he run across the train tracks instead of going around them.
- Eat the Camera: When he is hit by the train, Putz' screaming mouth fills the camera.
- Gonk: Putz has a unibrow, overbite and two up-facing teeth that make him look uglier than the other beans.
- Half the Man He Used to Be: He is split in half by the train.
- Lazy Bum: He ran across the tracks because he was too lazy to go around them.
- Primal Stance: Has a stance like a gorilla.
- A Tragedy of Impulsiveness: Like Bonehead, his impatience to wait gets him run over by a train.
" video, he's the last person to turn his head after Hapless' head got eaten... again.
Word of God confirms that Ninny is male.
