Characters / Drunken Peasants

While the Peasants and the people aren't exactly characters, they do have enough character in them to warrant a character sheet.

The Hosts

Ben

Ben / Neb / Benpai

One of the original hosts alongside TJ. His appearance was hidden for quite some time, and even on his first onscreen appearance he hid his face with a succession of wrestling masks. He's in charge of actually running the show and is usually the straight man of the Peasants. In 2017 he started his own channel under the name Benpai.

Welcome to the Drunken Peasants Podcast, where we DP the fuck out of the news!

• Cool Mask: Used to wear a red and gold wrestling mask, though he has since discarded it for a pair of Cool Shades instead.
• The Hyena: Known for his signature laugh which he's prone to give at least a few times on a good episode.
• Long-Haired Pretty Boy: He has long hair and is probably the most attractive out of all the hosts.
• The Smart Guy: He's the one who gets the show organized and is usually the one who assembles all of the videos the Peasants look at.
• The Straight Man: The most "normal" of all of the hosts.
• Red Oni, Blue Oni: The Blue to TJ's Red.

Billy the Fridge

Billy the Fridge

Originally glimpsed as a side character in an Onision video, the Peasants soon learned that Billy lived near their new Seattle studio and invited him on the show for Episode 328. Although that episode was ignominiously panned for a bit near the end where Billy and Paul pretend to get into a fight, Billy was well-received and became a recurring guest (even appearing for the entirety of the first 24-hour stream special) and then a backup co-host when TJ and Paul moved to Louisiana.

• A Wild Rapper Appears!: And unlike G-Man, he's actually good.
• Ascended Extra: Goes from being a random person in a video to a semi-recurring guest to the official fifth Peasant.
• Berserk Button: Billy hates bad rappers (especially those who are delusional of their skills), but "We're So Cheesecake" is his biggest berserk button out of all the terrible rap videos he's been subjected to on the show. The fact that Ben likes to troll him with it every now and then doesn't really help matters but it sure is funny.
• The Big Guy: He's probably as massive as TJ if not bigger. However, he is currently in the process of losing weight.
• Fifth Ranger: Ben used to pull him into the studio as a co-host whenever the other Peasants were away. He was so popular that he was officially announced as the fifth Peasant. After the show's return in episode 415, Billy is now the main co-host.
• Motor Mouth: Shares this trait with Paul, and has taken up this role following his (Paul's) departure from the show. Averted in his first appearance, where he and Onision play a skit in which the latter interviews a silent Billy.
• Nice Guy: Known to be friends with some of the most notorious YouTube figures, key among them Onision and even Brett Keane of all people.
• Trrrilling Rrrs: His verbal tic.

TJ

TJ Kirk / The Amazing Atheist

The YouTuber formerly known as the Amazing Atheist, and one of the original hosts with Ben. You can read more about him here.

Choose ideas over ideology. Ideas can change quickly and adapt, ideology is slow and cumbersome, unadaptable, uncompromising.

• Berserk Button:
  • He has sometimes gotten explosively angry when somebody makes a really bad argument on the show. Mario and Brett Keane usually push this button.
  • The Peasants making fun of his old videos in the "Cutting The Fat" segment. This usually leads to TJ storming off for the remainder of the segment.
• The Big Guy: The biggest of the group. Also one of the tallest, which continues to surprise people.
• Butt-Monkey: In "Cutting The Fat" when the hosts react and make fun of TJ's old videos.
• Character Tics: Tends to rock forward and backward when impatient.
• False Confession: Gave one for the Benghazi situation so he could put the issue to rest.
• Fat and Proud: Not exactly proud- he's mocked those who express this view- but he has no intention of taking the effort to lose weight. Paul has challenged him to weight loss or exercise contests at least twice; TJ eventually conceded both times.
• Large Ham: Very outspoken.
• Old Shame:
  • Subverted with the Bananagate situation, which TJ has no problem making jokes about.
  • Played hilariously straight with one of TJ's old videos where he unironically praised Brett Keane. The later "Cutting the Fat" clips consist entirely of digging up videos TJ is ashamed of having made, including his old poetry videos.
• Red Oni, Blue Oni: The Red to Ben's blue.

Scotty

Scott Kirk / Kaiser Scotty

TJ's younger brother, who first appeared on the show in Episode 26 as a guest before becoming the third regular host. Contrasting with Ben's straight man, Scotty is often as outspoken as TJ and the two have often gotten into lighthearted arguments or even outright physical fights on occasion. One of the defining traits of his onscreen personality is his hatred of Canada.

Fuck you, TJ. You piece of shit.

• Annoying Younger Sibling: Often annoys TJ.
• Catchphrase: CHEEJAY!
• Girlfriend in Canada: Rather oddly considering his persona involves him hating Canada.
• Hot-Blooded: Surprisingly, Scotty is the host most quick to anger.
• Nightmare Fetishist: TJ has often mentioned that he once caught Scotty masturbating to one of the bug fights in Starship Troopers.

Paul

Paul / Pauls Ego

I never stopped doing the show. I live the show. Every second of every day of my life, is like an episode of the Drunken Peasants.

• Ascended Extra: Goes from being a semi-recurring guest to the fourth host of the show.
• The Big Guy: Almost as big as TJ.
• Butt-Monkey: Probably the host most poked fun at.
• Fourth Ranger: Currently the fourth host.
• The Storyteller: "Storytime With Paul" became its own segment. Although the others have had their own official "Storytime" segments, Paul did it first and most frequently.
• Motor Mouth: Has a solid reputation for this, to the point where it's a running joke among the audience to say that Paul talked too much even during episodes where he's absent.
• Once Done, Never Forgotten: The "couch from IKEA" incident and his "Sir Eatsalot"/"Erik the Fed" persona.

The Altered Perspective

Two co-hosts of The Altered Perspective that occasionally fill the third spot on the Drunken Peasants.

Pimpmunkx

John Crawley

A guy in Mississippi who likes to smoke cigurras.

• The Big Guy: His size is between Paul and Billy.
• Mondegreen Gag: Was caught repeatedly pronouncing cigarettes as cigurras. He now does it on purpose.

Evan Le Favor

Self-proclaimed biological father of Jesus Christ and former co-host of the Altered Perspective.

• A Wild Rapper Appears!: Known for cooking up a beat. A decent freestyler in his own right.
• Deliberately Monochrome: His webcam footage is in black and white.
• Time and Relative Dimensions in Space: When it comes to time travel, Evan has made it clear that you must do this in a ship out in space as you will re-emerge somewhere else (possibly inside the earth itself if not somewhere in the vacuum of space) when you travel to a different time. You are travelling through time and space after all.

Allies

Joe

Joe

Billy's long-time friend who appeared in episode 403.

• Abhorrent Admirer: Was initially this towards The Meds Peds.
• Cuckoosnarker: Smart, nuts, and will give out harsh burns to anyone.
• Gay Bravado: His common shtick towards the hosts. That unless someone (such as Jeff Holiday) goes forward with it, then he backs out.
• Pet the Dog: Has no problem telling Dusty the cockatiel that he's a beautiful bird.
  • Kick the Dog: Made the severe mistake of accusing Pimpmunk of profiting off of his father's death as a joke. For obvious reasons Pimpmunk did not take this well as it was still fresh to him. And to make matters worse, Joe doubled down and continued this line of attack when Pimpmunk offered him the chance to make things right. This was enough to get him kicked off the main show (again) for the foreseeable future, as well as burn bridges with Pimpmunk and at least two other guests who now refuse to appear on the show with him. Billy, for his part, has pointed out that if Joe knows what line to cross then he will cross it.
• Put on a Bus: Kicked out of the show by Scotty for derailing the podcast. He later returned in episode 434.
• Spin-Off: Has his own fortnightly show named Role Call, a call-in show similar to one he hosted a long time ago in his Battlecam days.
• Wicked Cultured: According to Billy, one of the things he does for fun is watch and listen to speeches by historical figures.

Jeff Holiday

Jeff Holiday

First appearing on the show as a special guest in episode 357, Jeff's own channel deals primarily with debunking "junk" science and he seems to have a special dislike for anti-vaxxers. Due to living near the Peasants' new Seattle studio he became a backup cohost alongside Billy the Fridge when TJ and Paul moved to Louisiana.

• Ascended Extra: Due to his popularity, he very quickly became one of the co-hosts of the show whenever the main Peasants were absent.
• Ascended Fanboy: On his first guest appearance he mentioned he'd been a fan of the Peasants for a while.
• Berserk Button: Pseudoscience, particularly antivaxxers or other medical topics.
• Once Done, Never Forgotten: His "chief of the Slappahoe tribe" joke got lukewarm reception and has already earned him some lighthearted derision from Billy, but he seems to take it in stride.
• Sixth Ranger: Shared the role of back-up co-host with Billy the Fridge.
• Why Did It Have to Be Snakes?: Downplayed; Jeff has a number of topics that annoy him. Naturally, his fans go out of their way to bring these topics up preferably without him noticing immediately. These topics include:
  • The word "cummies"
  • Lyrics from songs by the Steel Panthers
  • Styrofoam
  • His taint piercing.

Egghead

Colton Simpson

• Berserk Button: Let's just say he doesn't take well to being accused of scamming anybody.
• The Chew Toy: Often made fun of by the Peasants and the fans for being cringey.
• Morality Pet: The Peasants' and fans' treatment of him sometimes borders on cruel, but Paul suspects that if he were ever in danger of being raped (hypothetically, of course) at a meet up, Tommy from the Bronx particularly would probably come down hard on the perpetrator.
• Rage Quit: Has recently taken to doing this whenever he gets sufficiently riled up.
  (re-enters voice chat after rage quitting) Done! Done! No no no. Nononononononononono. Zip it! ZIP. IT. Zip it. All of you, zip it. Done. Done. Not single D. Not double D. Done as in no more bullshit. I am DONE with this horseshit. (leaves again)

Galen

Galen Hallcyon

• Chuck Cunningham Syndrome: He appeared on a lot of the earlier DP episodes, though he hasn't really made any notable appearances since then.
• Token Evil Teammate: Downplayed, but TJ has admitted that he can be an asshole.

thunderf00t

Phil Mason / thunderf00t

Don't piss on me and tell me it's raining!

• The Smart Guy: He's a chemist and physicist in real life.

Mercedes Carrera

Mercedes Carrera

Mr Repzion

Daniel Sulzbach / MrRepzion

• Ascended Fanboy: Was a fan of TJ when he was first starting out on YouTube. Since then, he's made a guest video for TJ's channel and become a semi-recurring guest on DP.
• A God Am I: Introduced himself in episode 63 as the "reptile god" of the universe.

Jim Ass

Jim Ass / Jim A

• Arch-Enemy: Used to serve as one for Paul but they seem to have mellowed out as of late.
• Catchphrase: His various memes, which he spouts at every opportunity. There's "Fireball Z", "Judas Priest", "Suck a [adjective] dick"...
• The Faceless: His face has yet to be seen.
• The Ghost: Never appears on camera, not even when he's in studio. The hosts have claimed that he towers over the 6'7'' TJ, but it's unclear whether or not they're simply messing with us.
• Fountain of Memes
• Wolverine Publicity: Ben has recently announced a plan to include Jim on his own Benpai stream every Thursday. They're calling it the Asscast.

G-Man

G-Man / Gary

An overly enthusiastic Christian rapper, G-Man has been covered a lot on the show. However, unlike most "antagonists" of the show, G-Man is surprisingly on friendly terms with the Peasants and gets along with them for the most part.

• A Wild Rapper Appears!: G-Man is a Christian minister and a fairly sub-par rapper, although the Peasants seem to think his rapping has improved over time.
• The Ditz: The Peasants have remarked that he might be the stupidest person they've ever reacted to.
• Heel–Face Revolving Door: Consistently shifts between being an ally and enemy of Brett. Right now though, he seems to have turned on the Manatee for good.
• No True Scotsman: Regarding him and Christianity; he can read the bible and do what it says better than you.
• Piss-Take Rap: His rapping isn't exactly the best. Hilariously, he found one guy's rap during the Cringe Rap segment to be unbearable and immediately questioned the fact that people thought his raps are on par with what he was just subjected to.
• Punch-Clock Villain: When not debating or rapping, he's a pretty chill guy.
• Sitcom Arch-Nemesis: The Black Hebrew Israelites.
• Sore Loser: Often claims he "won" a debate or rap battle after applying an out-of-nowhere rule when things go bad for him.

Onision

Greg

Having had his videos covered as if he were an antagonist, the reality is that Greg is anything but this when it comes to the show.

• Affably Evil: Whenever he appears in studio, he remains respectful (if somewhat slippery) even when Ben is confronting him on any kind of controversy he's directly involved in. It's been outright said that one of the first things he'll do when meeting you for the first time is compliment you on something - in Ben's case, he pointed out that he was the second skinniest guy there and looked like somebody out of Lord of the Rings.
• Dark Messiah: Onisions' fangirls practically view him as a god.
• Ephebophile: Onision took his current girlfriend Lainey over to Mexico so they could get married when she was 17. The Peasants have noted that this is in violation of the Mann Act.
• Even Evil Has Standards: Noticeably did not enjoy putting the shock collar on Joe.
• Go-Karting with Bowser: Despite the level of bile the Peasants associated with watching his content, Ben, Billy and even Jeff get along with him quite well whenever he's on the show in person. The fact that Billy and Greg (and Joe) are real life friends obviously plays a part in this, but Greg's friendly conduct towards them definitely doesn't hinder things.
• Hoist by His Own Petard: While trying to disprove allegations that he allowed inappropriate photos on his website, Onision points out how he changed the rules so they forbid posting inappropriate photos. However, he also shows that he only changed them on December 26, 2016, which was days after the allegations first came out.
• Manipulative Bastard: Onision has a history of being abusive and controlling to his girlfriends, at one point telling his now ex-girlfriend Billie to get a tattoo of his name on her body to confirm her loyalty to him.
• Sitcom Arch-Nemesis: The Peasants have began reacting to his videos more and more, and have even made an episode entirely comprised of videos relating to Onision called "Peeling Back the Onion".
• Unexpected Character: Showed up in person at the studio for the first thirty minutes of #372, after having apparently been invited by Ben at the last minute. Judging by the chat^note which was displayed on-screen for all to see while he was present, nobody saw it coming. Since then, he's appeared in studio a few more times.

Antagonists

Brett Keane

Brett Keane / Butt King / The Manatee

Stop attacking my family.

• Animal Motifs: TJ originally dubbed him "the Manatee" due to his weight and general sedentary nature, and the dark filters he put over his videos that made him appear grayish or underwater. The fandom followed up on this and he's now branded this way, probably for life.
• Arch-Enemy: He used to be to the peasants (especially TJ) and was the one the Peasants reacted to the most, even having an entire segment dedicated to him. Eventually though, the Peasants decided to stop "feeding the Manatee" and stopped responding to his videos for a while.
• Big Bad: The closest thing the Peasants conceivably have as one.
• Broken Pedestal: To TJ, who used to like his videos. Also to G-Man. Brett claims to feel the same way about them.
• Catchphrase:
  • "They're attacking my family."
  • The intro to nearly all his videos: "Hello, ladies and gentlemen my name is Brett Keane from GodTVRadio. Be sure to check out my gaming channel, GamesYouLove, as well as..."
• Chronic Backstabbing Disorder: He has a long history of throwing friends under the bus.
• Delusions of Eloquence: The Peasants have requested an exhaustive list of all his slip-ups. There's "Slander and liability^note  libel ", "Old Scotsman Story ^note  No True Scotsman fallacy ", "Zayo de Dong ^note  Mao Zedong, and he compounded his sins by remarking "Boy, that guy sure has a messed-up name." ", and many more.
• Dirty Coward: Often uses his health problems and family as a shield against criticism.
• Domestic Abuse: The Peasants have looked at legal records of reports of him abusing his wife.
• Face–Heel Turn: Back when TJ was just starting out on Youtube, Brett used to be a friend of TJ's. However, it was eventually discovered that Brett was using vote-bots to upvote his videos and thus, Brett was ostracized from the Youtube atheist community, eventually becoming a Christian and making videos about Gord.
• Felony Misdemeanor: His rant on the Sims 4 really has to been seen to be believed. It begins with him talking about the the expansion pack content while sad music plays in the background. He moves on to ranting about how a glitch resulted in his entire (virtual) family was wiped from the game, while becoming increasingly more agitated and angry. The hosts even commented on how melodramtic the video sounded and joked that it was the preview for a Brett Keane revenge movie.
• Hated by All: It's pretty hard to find anyone (outside of Brett's family) who really likes Brett Keane, as most of his friends tend to eventually leave him. This was best shown when the Peasants told all of their fans to unsubscribe from Brett's channel, causing Brett's sub count to drop to the point where he hid it.
• Playing the Victim Card: Often tries to make it seem like the Peasants are attacking him and his family.
• Sitcom Arch-Nemesis: Frequently feuded with the Peasants until they decided to stop "feeding the Manatee".
• Smug Snake: Thinks of himself as a Magnificent Bastard, though he rarely fools anyone.
• Trademark Favorite Food: The Peasants are solidly convinced that it's Mac 'n' Cheese.
• Verbal Tic: He has a habit of pronouncing his "o"s as "or"s, as well as inserting the words "individual" and "situation" into sentences. He has become aware of the latter and now only uses those words "ironically".
• Villain Song: Here. A less serious example here.

Brett Keane's Posse

Brett Keane's Posse / The Masters of Stupidity

• Defector from Decadence: Most of them eventually turn on Brett when they discover his deceitful behavior. Even CheDubs, who Brett once called his "Brett Keane Jr.", left Brett over the theft of a donated keyboard.
• The Dragon: CheDubs is the closest thing Brett has to one, and Brett Keane has even called him "Brett Keane Jr."
• Motor Mouth: NephilimFree, who constantly kept talking over others and refusing to stay quiet, to the point of prompting a well-deserved Big "SHUT UP!" from Paul.

Tommy Sotomayor

Tommy Sotomayor / Crispy Baldy

• Arch-Enemy: Steals Brett Keane's spot after the Peasants stopped responding to him. He especially angered them when he falsely DMCA'd their Youtube channel, forcing them to move onto TJ's channel until the DMCA was disputed.
• Drives Like Crazy: Many of his videos are filmed from dash-cams as he drives, sometimes while simultaneously trying to calm kids in the backseat or juggling a cat. Sure enough, one of his videos takes place immediately after a car crash (which he blames on the other driver, a black woman).
• Hypocrite: Makes videos criticizing black people quite a lot. However, when the hosts criticized one of his videos, the first thing Tommy did was call them racists. Also chastises people for living on welfare but there are some indications that his extravagant lifestyle is at least partially funded by donations he claimed were for a movie he was producing (which he's apparently forgotten about).
• Sitcom Arch-Nemesis: Reacted and responded to by the Peasants quite a lot, though they eventually stopping showing his videos to prevent him from using it as an excuse to throw false DMCA takedowns at them.

The Vigilant Christian Mario

Mario / The Vigilant Christian

If you're looking at this and you really don't get it, there's absolutely something wrong, OK. And it's not me and it's not the- the material that I'm presenting to you, which is true fact! It's your- your manipulated conditioned mind that can't process reality anymore!

• Armored Closet Gay: Not very successfully. In fact, as of April 2019 he has admitted having homosexual thoughts due to his hypersexuality.
• Ax-Crazy: He believes that The Illuminati is everywhere and has its hand in everything.
• Brainless Beauty: One female guest described him in these terms, calling him the male equivalent of a girl who's very attractive but whom you really wish would just shut up.
• Conspiracy Theorist: Of the "Illuminati did it" variety.
• The Dreaded: For TJ, at least, given how boring and repetitive his videos are.
• Heteronormative Crusader: Criticized Star vs. the Forces of Evil for showing a gay couple. The Peasants have theorized that he is a repressed gay.
• Hookers and Blow: He got outed as having a passion for this.
• The Illuminati: Makes videos "exposing" them. The Peasants often joke that he himself is a secret member of the Illuminati.
• Laughing Mad: At the end of his "Vigilant Pharisee" video, which came not long after he decided to go off his meds. The Peasants were disturbed.

Jenny Mc Dermott

Jenny McDermott

I've never wished death on people before, but since this shit went down with Laughing Witch. Like, thunderf00t. All of you. I hope you all fucking rot. Every last one of you. I hate you.

• Sitcom Arch-Nemesis: Feuded with the Peasants for a while, though they haven't made a lot of videos against her lately.
• Villain Team-Up: She once became friends with Brett Keane over their mutual hatred of the Peasants. Their alliance only lasted for about three days before they fell out.

Joseph Martelli

Joseph Martelli

• Ax-Crazy: There is clearly something not right with Martelli.
• Boomerang Bigot: Hates gays when he himself is clearly a repressed one.
• Dirty Coward: Bragged about coming over to one of the Drunken Peasants' real life fan meetups, but when he did show up, he ran away as soon as people got near him.
• Heteronormative Crusader: The Peasants have criticized videos of him talking about why homosexuality is a sin.
• Paper Tiger: As mentioned above, when he actually went to beat them up at the meetup, it didn't take much to scare him off.
• Villain Team-Up: He's briefly joined Brett Keane's posse. While they never actually fell out, they don't seem to hang around anymore.

Steve Shives

Steve Shives

Believe me, if I had the power to take down [TJ’s] channel, I would have done it years ago.

• Dirty Coward: Blocks anyone who disagrees with him, and even employs block bots to block the accounts of people he disagrees with on Twitter. He also refuses to go on the podcast, or even talk to any of the Peasants, instead preferring to take potshots at them from the safety of his block bots.
• Henpecked Husband: His wife has appeared in some of his videos and based on some things she's said, the Peasants have tentatively concluded that Shives' abrupt about-face and advocacy for deplatforming his opposition is largely due to her influence on him.
• Fascist, but Inefficient: He blocks anyone who disagrees with him, which has had the result of making him the laughing stock of the skeptic community. He has also tried repeatedly to take down TJ’s channel by false-flagging it for hate speech.
• Fallen Hero: Although the Peasants claim not to have watched him regularly before featuring his content on the show, many fans claim to have been big fans of his "An Atheist Reads" videos before he went on his block bot crusade.
• Straw Feminist: A rare real life example of this. He calls himself a feminist and blocks anyone who disagrees with the kind of feminism he totes.
• Wouldn't Hit a Girl: Says that he wouldn't in a video that the Peasants covered, claiming that it’s never okay to a man to hit a woman, even in self-defense. This of course, led to some rather concerning issues as pointed out by the Peasants.
• With Us or Against Us: Seems to be the cornerstone of his entire worldview, as noted several times by the Peasants. You either agree with him on all political matters, or you’re a bigot who must be purged from all social media.

Josh Feuerstein

Josh Feuerstein / Fartstain / Fuckstain

Think about this!

• Conspiracy Theorist: Shows occasional signs of this, such as believing something sinister is behind his local Walmart closing down because several police cars were outside the building, or suspecting that the government will lie about an epidemic spread through paper money in an attempt to form a cashless society.
• The Ditz: Believes that "Universe" means one verse. That should give you a good idea of his level of intelligence.
• Gun Nut: Aside from his videos about God, he has also made videos where he shows off his guns, usually combined with the former.
• Heteronormative Crusader: Doesn't believe gay marriage should be legal. He even once asked for a cake from a bakery that said "We Do Not Support Gay Marriage".
• Political Overcorrectness: His view of Starbucks not putting "Merry Christmas" on their cups. Needless to say, this was mercilessly mocked by the Peasants.

Wild Bill for America

Wild Bill / Mild Phil

America, bless God.

• Americans Are Cowboys: He seems to think so, and he often wears a Cowboy hat in his videos.
• Deep South: Where he hails from.
• Eagleland: Has a Type 1 impression of America.
• Gun Nut: He's proud to own firearms.

Fake Sagan

Christopher Anderson / FakeSagan

• Ax-Crazy: According to TJ Sagan once held a gun to his (TJ's) head during a livestream. This seems to have been the point where they parted ways, although during his "Pwnage of Paulsego" video TJ joked that he preferred being at gunpoint.
• The Bully: His original channel was basically one where he poked fun at people like MetaBitch. He claims to be mostly about Christianity now but that rings a bit hollow given his recent videos about Paul.
• Jaded Washout
• We Used to Be Friends: He claims to have been on good terms with Paul in the past.

Other

Gail

Gail Chord Schuler/Gabrielle Chana

• All Women Are Lustful: Her stories involve quite a lot of sex. Often with celebrities and on at least one occasion with a cat.
• Arch-Enemy: By her account, hers is the Jesuit Order, and its various leaders Zack Knight or Angelina Ballerina.
  • Enemy Mine: At one point she teamed up with Zack Knight and the Jesuits in order to fight Angelina Ballerina.
• Cloudcuckoolander: Believes that there's a starship church out in space full of famous male figures who desire to make her into their collective bride but that they're prevented from doing so by Jesuits, who have created clones to pose as these men on Earth.
• Daydream Believer: According to TJ, some people write fan fiction but Gail lives fan fiction.
• Stalker with a Crush: Apparently to Brent Spiner, who has admitted he knows about her at conventions but prefers not to talk about it. Gail maintains that that Brent was merely a clone and the real one is aboard Church of Gail.

g Time Johnny

Johnny Merrill

• Cloudcuckoolander: Yeee-up.
• Crazy Homeless People: Seemingly played straight. He posts videos of himself out in the middle of Northern Californian nowhere singing songs and giving bizarre sermons.
• Hermit Guru: He seems to think of himself as this.
• This Is My Human: How he describes his relationship with his dog.
• Walking Shirtless Scene: Often shirtless in his videos.
• Word Salad Lyrics: Feature heavily in his songs. A selection:
  My heart! My heart! Is Earth time biology! My MIND! My MIND! Is MAN-time biology!
  I'm a world peace and freedom entrepreneur! Gonna take humanity out of the sewer!
  I'm a grunt. I'm a grunt. I'm language, automated, ignorant. Dontmakemeblowmyselfup!

The Cena Doll

Scotty Cena/TJ Cena/Ben Cena

A John Cena plush toy with a picture of one of the host's (i.e., whichever host isn't there that day) faces tied onto it. Originally used as a stand-in for absent hosts.

• Ambiguously Evil: Pretty "mouthy" to fellow hosts. And when the Peasants pitted avatars of themselves against avatars of Brett Keane's posse in a WWE video game, they put Scotty Cena on Keane's side.
• Catchphrase: I'M GONNA FOAK YOUR ASS! AND THENNN YOU'RE GONNA BE HUM-BELL!
  • All foak your daughter, all foak your wife, an all foak your son!
• Chuck Cunningham Syndrome: Hasn't appeared in some time, even after the damaged original got replaced.
• Follow the Leader: At least one fan made an account under the name Scotty Cena and left comments and chat posts in character.
• Killed Off for Real: Scotty took a pair of scissors and chopped the doll up during episode 238, apparently in some form of protest after Ben refused to let him take it home previously. This was treated as his death.
  • Back from the Dead: Then they replaced the doll.
• Voice for the Voiceless: He "speaks" through clips on the Iron Sheikh soundboard. Hence his catch phrase.