Characters / Cuanta Vida

BLU

Jordi "Bleu/Urdin/Azul" Bertrand, Spy

"I never claimed to be a good spy."

• Butt-Monkey: Scout seems to think so.
  "It's like you were made to get the shit kicked out of yourself!"
• Chaste Hero: Word of God says he doesn't know what his sexuality is, so he doesn't know how to answer Jeremy's feelings.
• Chronic Hero Syndrome: He seems to be acting on instinct, which often has him doing good but stupid things.
• Closet Key: For the BLU Scout.
• Cower Power: He is not above hiding to avoid getting shot.
• Crazy-Prepared: "You always carry a wire hangar with you?" "Only when I want to steal a car.
• Distressed Dude: Has this down to a science.
• Funetik Aksent: As a Frenchman, he tends to drop his H's, a fact made clear by his speech bubbles.
• Heroic Self-Deprecation: He's utterly convinced for most of the comic that he's not a good spy (which isn't entirely true - his only failing as a spy is his refusal to kill people, he's still pretty good at the subterfuge elements that come with the job), and that BLU Scout would probably lose interest in him at some point.
• Messy Hair: It gets worse as time goes on due to stress.
• Naïve Newcomer: At first, but by the end he is the default leader.
• Oblivious to Love: Take you...where?◊
• A Protagonist Shall Lead Them: He takes over when Gabriele dies.
• Reluctant Warrior: His previous job was in photographic reconnaissance, and he tries not to kill. He hates killing and works to try and escape the never-ending war.
• Socially Awkward Hero: Actually manages to stay calm in the face of danger (unless it involves fire), but still manages to act like a complete dork the rest of the time.
• Scars Are Forever: Has permanent burn scars on his right side on his shoulder, arm, etc.
• Tan Lines: As time goes on, his mask causes the area around his eyes and mouth to tan a lot more than the rest of his face.
• Technical Pacifist: He'll shoot you if it saves a life, but if possible, he won't make it a kill shot. He's afraid that he will like killing. He later is forced to kill Khalil, the red pyro, and he accidentally kills Blue Medic when the medic tried to kill Jeremy for being useless.
• Unreliable Narrator: To his Unseen Audience, Rojo.
• Why Did It Have to Be Snakes?: Deathly afraid of fire.

Jeremy "Scooty Puff Junior" Lawson, Scout

"This is all fucked the fuck up!"

• Attention Whore: At one point he lies and says that he did all the work in a fight and while Jordi was cowering. He leaves out the part where Jordi took back his gun right from under Gabriele's nose and shot Red Engineer.
• Boomerang Bigot: Really seems to hate gay people. Because he is one.
• Clingy Jealous Girl: Subtle shades of this when RED Scout is around Bleu.
• Cluster F-Bomb: About half of anything he says.
• If It's You, It's Okay: Word of God says he's straight except for Jordi.
• Have I Mentioned I Am Heterosexual Today?: The other half of anything he says.
• The Lancer: Obviously. He's the Scout.
• Luminescent Blush: Here.
• Screams Like a Little Girl: YEEEEEEEEK!
• Security Cling: The more extreme variation, he leaps into Bleu's arms. While the two of them are in an air vent together.
• Sleep Cute: With Bleu, on this page.
• Tsundere: He acts like a type one to Jordi.
• The Twink: Could be seen as one, although you'd never guess it from his diction.

Liam Williamson, Sniper

*ignore*

• Cold Sniper: Comes across as this, initially.
• Cool Shades: As fitting his canon counterpart, he wears his signature aviator sunglasses.
• Driven to Suicide: If the BLU Medic is to be believed.
• Eye Scream: Rojo takes this eyes out to disable him. If the Blu team can't do their duties and can't be replaced, he believed the war would end.
• Face Palm: Does one when Jeremy reminds Gabriele that he tried to kiss him. Red spy than says he forgot about that causing this reaction.
• The Lancer: To both Spies.
• Man Hug: Hugging ensues when Bleu comforts him after Red's death.
• Mercy Kill: Medic does this to him after his eyes are taken out.
• Odd Couple: With Red — Sniper is a grumpy introvert, while his paramour is flirtatious and outgoing.
• The Quiet One: Not a very verbose character. He tends to keep it short and sweet.
• The Stoic: Usually seen with a grumpy or neutral expression; in fact, he usually keeps his feelings masked.
• Straight Gay: By Word of God.
• Unsound Effect: Early on, about half of his lines seem to be actions rather than words.
• Why Did It Have to Be Snakes?: He suffers from agoraphobia. He doesn't like being out in the open. Justified as he's a sniper.

Pyro

"Hurro."

• Ambiguous Gender: What did you expect from a Pyro?
• The Big Guy: He has quite a noticeable presence—although the flamethrower doesn't help.
• Expressive Mask: How else would we see his facial expressions?
• No Sense of Personal Space: Tends to get in people's faces, much to Bleu's chagrin.
• Pintsized Powerhouse: Rather diminutive in comparison to the others, but he's still terrifying. After all, he is a Pyro.
• Psychopathic Manchild: Cute as he may be, he's still a Pyromaniac
• Pyromaniac
• The Unintelligible: Even his teammates can barely understand what he says, except for one occasion when he partially removed his mask to ask Bleu a question.

Engineer (Engie)

"He cut anything off?"

• Artificial Limbs: After he lost a hand to Rojo.
• The Engineer: It's in his title.
• Gadgeteer Genius: A whiz with tech, he is even able to build and tinker with most anything.
• Major Injury Underreaction: His reaction to losing a hand is that he'll "build a better one."
• Mr Fix It: Maintains BLU's equipment
• The Smart Guy: Someone has to be this.
• Team Dad: Older than the rest of Team BLU, seems to be the voice of reason.

Medic

"Need help vit ze bleedink?"

• Axe-Crazy: More subtly than other examples.
• Mad Scientist: His own teammates try to avoid him if they aren't desperately injured, preferring to patch themselves up of use a much slower dispenser for healing. Probably because he keeps the bodies of his fallen comrades in the base's morgue indefinitely, rather than burying them.
• Hoist by His Own Petard: Medic euthanized his team's Sniper when the man's eyes were cut out, and was preparing to do the same to their Scout after he was attacked and his Achilles Tendon was severed. When Bleu defended Scout, Medic ended up stabbed with the syringe of drugs he was attempting to administer to Scout and died almost instantly.
• Mercy Kill: He killed Sniper after his eyes were gouged out, but how much this was for Sniper's sake is unclear.
• Playing with Syringes: Medic learns the hard way why this is a bad idea.
• Scary Shiny Glasses: Gets these at times.
• The Sociopath: He is completely willing to kill his teammates when they are no longer useful, and all of the BLU team except for Heavy fear him. He is known for his...rather evil tendencies at times.

Demoman

• The Alcoholic: Downplayed. He isn't seen drunk that often.
• Out of Focus: He doesn't show up that much or how a lot of lines, but he's there. The author liked drawing the character, but had problems writing his lines as stated here.

RED

Gabriele (Gabry) "Red" De Luca, Spy

"You're cuter than I expected."

• Closet Key: For Sniper.
• Heroic Sacrifice: He took a bullet for Sniper.
• Homoerotic Subtext: He flirts with everyone, regardless of their team. His first introduction to Bleu is pinning the man down in the showers while sneaking around the BLU base, and he later coyly claims to have stayed up all night helping the RED engineer build a secret entrance to the base's abandoned control center.
• Manipulative Bastard: He can play his cards with a person if he needs to. But if it weren't for him, Team Purple as we know it may not have been the same.
• Odd Couple: With Sniper — Red is audacious and outgoing, while his boyfriend is reserved and introverted.

James, Scout

"Peep! Go find Engie!"

• Cheerful Child: Despite being as old as anyone else.
• The Fool: He can be a bit naïve at times, but his good nature does not manage to do him in.
• The Heart: He tends to act as the heart of the group, quite the opposite of his BLU counterpart.
• Homoerotic Subtext: With Bleu, to an extent.
• Keet: He is quite eager and excitable.
• Sleep Cute: With Bleu, when they are trapped in a walled-off section of the RED base and waiting for rescue.
• Ridiculously Cute Critter: His pet chicken, Peep.
• Tag Along Kid: Comes across as this.

Anton Moeller, Medic

"T-tut mir leid."

• Apologetic Attacker: He apologizes to Bleu after leading him into an ambush.
• Cower Power: Something that comes to haunt him.
• Homoerotic Subtext: With Bleu, RED Sniper, and BLU Heavy.
• Lovable Coward: Anton is reluctant to detain and/ or hurt Bleu, but he is coerced by Rojo with implied death threats if he doesn't obey. He's also afraid that the Red Pyro may kill him if Bleu escapes before Pyro gets the chance to flambé him.
• Naïve Newcomer: Like the other new hires, Anton was led to believe he'll be able to leave the base when his contract is completed. He's a genuinely nice guy, but his lack of experience and friends make him easy to manipulate.
• Skilled, but Naive: Unlike James, he is hurt by his naivety. While he is not an evil character, he is easily led astray due to his lack of knowledge.

Robert (Engie), Engineer

• The Engineer: Exactly What It Says on the Tin.
• Gadgeteer Genius: As befitting an engineer, he is able to build and tinker like his BLU counterpart.
• Odd Friendship: Gets along pretty well with Gabry.
• The Smart Guy: Figures out the solution about how to use the hidden cameras to develop an early warning system to a train's arrival.
• Team Dad: Towards the RED team.
• The Turret Master: Bleu comments on how the RED Engineer's turrets are often built in tricky or hard-to-reach locations, making it difficult to detect them before getting shot and difficult to disable them with a sapper.

The Evil Spy (spoiler character)

"I'm zhe hero in zhis s'ory."

Miguel (Rojo), Spy

• Axe-Crazy: In short order, he gouges out the BLU Sniper's eyes, severs the BLU Scout's Achilles tendon, and cuts off the BLU Engineer's hand.
• Big Bad: While he's not the one pulling the strings of the war, he is responsible for the direct conflict many of the haracters face and tries to prevent them from leaving.
• Balls of Steel: Survives a Groin Attack from Scout without even a flinch.
• Homoerotic Subtext: With Bleu
• Morphic Resonance: Though it hasn't been commented on within the comic itself, his disguises are usually given away to the readers by his almost luminescent green eyes.
• Out-Gambitted: He didn't know it, but his plan to disable the BLUs was doomed to fail. He assumed that the Blu team would be humane enough to treat their disabled and keep them alive. BLU medic was killing Rojo's victims who couldn't be healed or didn't want to be healed.
• Psychopathic Man Child: Doesn't hesitate to dismember his enemies if he needs to.
• Replacement Goldfish: In a sense, he's this for Red, same as every replacement made on either team.
• The Sociopath: Would a person who carefully dismembers the BLU team be described as anything but?
• Villainous Breakdown: After being set on fire by the BLU Pyro.
• Walking Spoiler: His very presence is evidence that Gabry is dead.
• Well-Intentioned Extremist: He at least thinks he's this - he seems to be under the delusion that if he can disable the members of the BLU team (as the team members are only replaced when one of them dies), then they'd have to surrender and RED can win the war, ending the conflict. Because of this mindset, he's done some pretty awful things to the BLU team, whilst thinking that he's "the hero of this story" and that anyone going against him is a traitor.
• What the Hell Is That Accent?: He's from Basque Country. Basque is not a part of any known language family tree, making his accent very unique. He also speaks Spanish and, given the region, may also speak some French.
• Wrong Genre Savvy: His rather...drastic methods of dispatching the BLU team to end the war fail to take the BLU Medic, the other sociopath, into account.

Kinsey, Sniper

"That's debatable."

• Foil: For Rojo. He's calm, logical, and team-oriented, whereas Rojo is... not.
• Only Sane Employee: His calm demeanor balances out many of the others' more chaotic tendencies.

Khalil, Pyro

• Ambiguous Gender: Similarly to Blue Pyro, Word of God says this is true.
• Expressive Mask: Shares this trait with Blue Pyro.
• Psychopathic Manchild: He is more psychopathic than Blue Pyro. He delights in the burn wounds Bleu has and, realizing Bleu is as flammable as anyone, quickly runs to get lighter fluid for a barbeque. The title of that page outrights says he's insane.

First Red Sniper

• Batman Gambit: He assumed Gabry would jump in front of the bullet meant for Liam. He was right.
• Cold Sniper: The closest matching one in the series. Demonstrated especially after he kills Gabry for intending to leave the war.
• Deadpan Snarker: "You're s'posed to wait til I'm not lookin' to do that." Referring to Bleu decloaking right in front of him after he killed Gabry.
• Punch-Clock Villain: The Red Sniper gets a chance for a perfect head shot on Bleu... and immediately relents when the end-of-day alarm goes off.