Characters / Crónicas Marcianas

Xavier Sardà

The main host of the show, and one of the more straight-laced figures on the show. Pretty much helps to keep the show together with all the anarchy that surrounds it. The only cast member to stay for all eight series.

• Bullying the Disabled: Sadly a regular trope from Sardà (and does regret it now). He was even fined by the courts for his somewhat patronising interviews.
• Coordinated Clothes: With Galindo in one early 1997 episode.
• Reunion Show: Organised one of these in December 2023.^note which arguably functioned as a possible back-door pilot for a reboot
• Screw This, I'm Outta Here: Sardà's reaction to the invoked newspaper invoked El País getting the show's presenters wrong back in 1999.

Marti Galindo

A dwarf actor with a long career on the stage, but had never quite made the jump to TV until Crónicas asked him to play an alien-type character - apparently Sardà was brainstorming ideas for collaborators and immediately thought of Galindo. Retired in 2002.

• Coordinated Clothes: Galindo copied Xavier's attire for an episode in September 1997.
• Crowd Chant: "¡Galindo! ¡Galindo! ¡Galindo!" Usually invoked by the audience on entry.
• Deadpan Snarker: Could cross into this at times, especially if he didn't like the guest.
• Ensemble Dark Horse: Galindo often stole the show, and was a significant draw for viewers.
• Good Is Not Soft: Galindo's pretty good at keeping his emotions in check, but even he was known to abuse guests he didn't like.
• Shoe Slap: Galindo's improvised weapon.

Carlos Latre

Impressionist who often turned up to lampoon celebrities, politicians or other public figures. Joined in 2002 and stayed until the end.

• Crossdresser: Much like El Pozí below, Latre was only too happy to lampoon someone of the opposite gender.
• Mistaken for an Imposter: Many thought that Isabel Pantoja was a disguise of his, but she was based on a real person.
• Parody Sue: His regular character, Bea la becaría^note the intern. She came for work experience and her naïvety was often exploited by the rest of the cast to wind up Sardà.

El Pozí

Or to give his real name, Manuel Reyes: an actor who would dress up as various celebrities and lampoon them on the show. Joined in 1999 and stayed until the end.

• Crossdresser: Pozí was more likely to dress as a woman than a man.
• Curse of Babel: "Amparo, ¡ta'fumao un porro!"^note "te has fumado un porro" - "you've smoked a joint!"
• Everyone Calls Him "Barkeep": No-one really ever knew his real name. Even his article on [[Website/Wikipedia The Other Wiki]] uses his Crónicas nickname.
• Fake Faint: Sometimes did this when crossdressing.
• Fan Nickname: "Pozí" - invoked for his peculiar way of speaking.

Mariano Mariano

Straight-talking, no-nonsense collaborator with attitude. Left with Galindo in 2002.

• Catchphrase: "¿A ti qué te pasa, gilipollas?"^note What are you doing, asshole?"
• Deadpan Snarker: The embodiment of the trope.
• Department of Redundancy Department

Boris Izaguirre

The Camp Gay collaborator, who arrived in 1998 and stayed until the end. Found it hard to find work afterwards as he was always associated with the Mr. Fanservice persona of Crónicas, but was credited with giving a voice to Spain's LGBT community.

• Camp Gay: His whole act.
• Ensemble Dark Horse: His Hunk persona clearly left an impression on viewers.
• You Can Leave Your Hat On: Would often do a striptease on the show.