(Warning! Spoilers are unmarked here)
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Main Character
Diana Nox
She appeared in the Crossover Crisis on Two Comics, where she was contracted by Izzy Pritchard and her friends to help them deal with a sinister sex cult in Key Manati.
- Deadpan Snarker: Diana always keeps a dry wit even when facing off against dangerous paranormal threats.
- Hunter of Monsters: Of a sort; Diana works for an organization of other supernatural investigators and is usually contacted to stop supernatural threats. Instead of killing them, however, she drains their energy through sexual intercourse. She also doesn't show any Fantastic Racism toward the many monsters and other otherworldly beings she faces, but does believe that they can be a danger to regular people, so she tries to contain them to make sure others live their lives.
- Nice Job Breaking It, Hero: Diana, upon realizing that Tilly the cow-lady's magic milk is still quite powerful and thus should not be sold to anyone, gives her the idea of becoming a superhero. Thus, Tilly takes the identity of "Milk Maid". Unfortunately, as her fellow investigator points out, crime has gone up since Tilly's hero career started as criminals allow themselves to get caught by her so they can drink her breast milk.
- Perky Goth: She dresses in various gothic fashion, is a Deadpan Snarker and often deals with the supernatural, but is generally a lively, optimistic and good-natured young woman.
- Really Gets Around: It's a big part of her job as a tantric magic user, though Diana does get plenty of action outside of her duties on occasion.
- Sex Magic: Diana has sex with various supernatural entities and uses her tantric magic to drain away their energy. In "Crisis on Two Comics", her magic is key to their victory over the leader of the Gardeners.
- Sitcom Arch-Nemesis: The Crisis on Two Comics Crossover reveals that Diana and Len know one another and do not get along. Presumably, their enmity started over Diana's handling of a Chupacabra they both encountered.
Order of the Joined Hands
Chani
- Chuunibyou: She originally was a regular one (specifically the "evil eye" archetype), but her belief in having magical powers was so strong that she started manifesting her own magic.
- Clap Your Hands If You Believe: It's literally the main source of her magic.
Allies
Zoey
- Friendly Zombie: Zoey is very laidback and prefers to having a good time partying over eating people.
- Our Zombies Are Different: For starters, she is sentient and isn't driven to eat human flesh and infect others. Of course, her body parts are often prone to falling off due to decay.
Supernatural Creatures
Faroot, the Earl of all Phaetonians
- Large Ham: FAROOT, the EARL of all PHAETONIANS knows not what this "subtlety" means.
- Last of His Kind: As explained in his bio, he is the last of his people due to them being wiped out by a galactic tyrant. He visits Earth to find women to sleep with and repopulate his race because humans are close genetically to Phaetonians. To get him off Earth, Diana helps solve his dilemma by finding an equally compatible race for him to breed with.
- Proud Warrior Race: FAROOT the EARL of all PHAETONIANS apparently hails from a warrior race and he is quite prideful and arrogant.
Ghost Girl
- Big Beautiful Woman: She's got a figure much like Ennui GO! 's Bella, and is quite cute to look at too. The man she possessed earlier seems to think so. She arguably gets even hotter when Diana allows her to possess her body.
- Distaff Counterpart: She's basically a female Ghost Boy.
- Friendly Ghost: Much like Ghost Boy, she's revealed to be a bashful, kindly girl who really meant no harm in possessing the guy; she simply wanted to lose her virginity before she passes on.
- Guy on Guy Is Hot: The main reason why she possessed a dude to hit on and potentially have sex with other guys, despite the possessee not being gay.
- Weight Woe: In "Possession", Ghost Girl is shown to be self-conscious over her figure, thinking that the guy wouldn't be interested in having sex with her. Luckily, the guy tells her that he is very much into heavyset women.
- Yaoi Fangirl: Implied to be one; when asked by the possessee on why she took his body specifically hit on other guys, she simply tells him "Yaoi is hot".
Paizucchio and the Woodworker's Grandson
Paizucchio
Click to see her human form
A living naked puppet who wants to be considered a real girl.
- Become a Real Boy: She's a living wooden puppet who desires to become, or at least be considered, a real girl. She eventually becomes one thanks to Diana's tantric magic.
- Born as an Adult: Averted; When the woodworker built her, she resembled a child, but he also constantly built her a new body every few years presumably as his grandson got older. By the present, she resembles an adult.
- Breast Expansion: A side-effect of her curse. She ends up keeping it even after becoming human, though it's implied she can do it at will now thanks to Diana.
- Childhood Friend Romance: Paizucchio was created to be a friend for the woodworker's grandson and had remained with him since. After meeting, and having sex with, Diana, the grandson admits that he has feelings for Paizucchio and wants to marry her, which clearly makes her happy.
- Pinocchio Nose: Much like her inspiration, she has a curse that only activates when she tells a lie. Only, rather than her nose growing, her boobs grow.
- Punny Name: Her name is a portmanteau of "paizu", the Japanese slang term for "breasts", and of course "Pinocchio".
The Woodworker's Grandson
- Childhood Friend Romance: In his youth, his grandfather created Paizucchio to be his friend/playmate and they have stuck by since. When having a threesome with Diana, he reveals that he also wants Paizucchio to become a real girl because he wants to marry her but can't since she's still a puppet.
- No Name Given: His real name is never mentioned throughout the story arc.
Gigachad
Gigachad, aka "The Great Testosterus"
- Gag Penis: Somehow, his penis is even bigger than Noah's. And it's prehensile, as well.
- Pretty Boy: His true form is very feminine and about a foot shorter than Diana. Some of the girls in his harem like it so much they stay even after he's changed back.
- Sex God: He can drive any woman to catatonia through sheer sexual pleasure (as well as fill them with lots and lots of his fluids), can move and control his own gigantic penis like a tail and has access to tantric magic much like Diana. "Fuckpile" shows that he leads his own cult of women worshipping him.
- Sex Magic: "Battle of the Sexes" reveals that Gigachad is capable of utilizing the same tantric magic Diana has, as the two race over who will climax first.
Tilly
Tilly/Milk Maid
- Constantly Lactating Cow: Well, "Constantly Lactating Cow-person", rather; Tilly constantly makes magical, hypnotizing milk and, unlike a regular cow, does not need to become pregnant in order to do so. Thus, in order to negate the hypnotic effect, Diana decides to milk her dry through constantly giving her an orgasm.
- Little Bit Beastly: Tilly more-or-less fully resembles a regular human woman aside from the bull-horns on her head (and her huge breasts). It's implied that she was a normal human before somehow turning into a cow-person.
The Little Fish-Girl
Click to see her human form (SPOILER WARNING)
A fishgirl who wants to become human and find her true love.
- Celestial Deadline: When Diana gives her a potion that will turn her human, she tells her that she must return to the ocean every night at midnight or else she'll dissolve into seafoam.
- Cultural Rebel: Unlike other fishgirls, who seduce and mate with human men and leave them afterwards, she wants to start a genuine relationship with someone she mates. That is part of the reason she wants to become human. Of course, she's still quite willing to have sex with anyone who catches her fancy.
- Cute Monster Girl: As befitting a member of her species.
- Cute Mute: When she becomes human, as a side effect of the potion.
- Polyamory: After becoming human, she encounters a male Key Manati MP seaman and saves him from a shipwreck. Naturally, she ends up seducing him. Later on, she meets his female captain and then they end up having sex. Soon enough, they have a threesome together. By the end, after the fishgirl helps them survive a storm caused by Diana, she has fallen for both of them and the three decide to start this kind of relationship. Helps that the captain already had feelings for her seaman in the first place (plus it makes for a good loophole, since inter-squad dating is frowned upon).
- Rescue Romance: First the seaman MP from a shipwreck and then both him and the lady captain from a magical storm. All three soon start a polyamorous relationship.
- Shameless Fanservice Girl: Downplayed, but she does spend the entire arc naked as both a fishgirl and human and has copious amounts of sex.
Enemies
The Gardeners
General
A cult that practices tantric sex and meditation who recently set up shop in Key Manati. They served as the main villains for the Crossover arc between Black Hole and Ennui GO!, Crisis on Two Comics.- Crossover-Exclusive Villain: They mostly exist to help bring the characters from the respective comics together and team up to stop them.
- Cult: One of many that propped up in Key Manati. According to Mother Rose, the Gardeners are a self-help group that focuses on free love and radical sexual exploration. Of course, their intentions are clearly much more sinister; they place their own members in an unconscious state, milk out their sexual fluids and charge it with magic to help their leader become a Love Goddess.
- Flower Motifs: The Gardeners' temple has a rose motif to its decorations, and their clothing has rose iconography. When their leader transforms herself, she gains a rose icon between her breasts and a Third Eye with a rose inside it.
Mother Rose
Click to see her God form
The leader of the Gardeners.
- A God Am I: In "Milking Room", when Izzy, Len and Diana discover the Gardeners' secret room....Izzy: My God...
Mother Rose: *off-panel, as Izzy and the others turn in surprise.* Not yet. *now fully shown* But ask me again in five minutes. - Hermaphrodite: A consequence of her transformation is becoming a classic "futanari"note . Even after becoming depowered, she retains the extra equipment
. - Hoist by Her Own Petard: At first, she appears to be succeeding at overwhelming Izzy and the others, but her overconfidence allows her to fall prey to Diana's own tantric magic and be defeated.
- Holy Halo: Subverted; after her transformation in "New God", she has a thorned halo-like ring apparently growing out of her head.
- Love Goddess: Revealed to be her ultimate goal. She succeeds in "New God", transforming herself into a hermaphroditic entity who, as seen in "Conductor", drives everyone in her presence into sexual overload.If sexual intimacy is a delicate orchestra of touches, glances, and pheromones, then I am now the conductor. Drown in the orgasmic ecstasy of my presence.
The Android
An android from the future, sent back to the present to kill Nathan Slater. He becomes the main villain of the second Ennui GO! crossover, Crisis on Three Comics.
- Crossover-Exclusive Villain: He becomes the main villain of the second crossover with Ennui GO!, when he travels to Key Manati to kill Izzy's son.
- Killer Robot: Like a certain cybernetic organism, he's an android sent from the future to kill someone very important.
- Sexbot: It's not his main purpose, but he has a built-in vibrator and Diana drains his battery by having sex with him.
- Terminator Impersonator: He has more than a few traits in common with the Terminator, down to being sent back in time to kill a child who'll become important in the future.
